by J. Kearston
The vibrant memory puts me right back into the eyes of the scared little boy I once was and physically shake my head to try and loosen its hold before it can take root. “Here was this man I was terrified of disappointing, afraid of setting off, just looking like all of his fight was gone. He was holding Maddox, just a newborn at the time.”
Cambria interrupts, looking confused. “Did someone just leave him on your doorstep?”
Stealing her hand, I bring it up to kiss the back as we continue onward. “My father had been seeing someone, but he never told me she was pregnant. I only met her a handful of times and barely even remember her, honestly. But she didn’t want the baby, would rather walk away from everything and start over, according to my dad. She dropped him off and broke it off with my father and we never saw her again. So from that point on, it was just the three of us. Though with as much as Maddox wailed at all hours of the night, at least there were a few years Dad barely had any episodes.”
I start to fall back into old patterns and distance myself before broaching this next part, anticipating the pain, but catch myself, backpedaling and actively choosing to do better. “Maddox called me one day after I’d moved out to say that Dad never came home. So I went to stay with him, and one day turned into a year. By the time anyone found his body, we had long since assumed he was dead, but it didn’t make it easier to deal with.”
Grabbing the back of Dorian’s shirt, I yank him back a step, pulling him away from the snake that he nearly stepped on. It may not kill him, but bites still hurt like a bitch.
“Thanks,” he mutters, eyeing everything with more caution than before.
We find a dirt path, treading into a more commonly ventured area. “It was just the two of us for four years, but no matter what I did, Maddox was a breed of his own. He resented both parents leaving him and acted out constantly, until it eventually got him killed.”
Dorian senses that I’m done, taking over the conversation. “And the rest, as they say, is history. He took me in, patched me up, and has smothered me ever since.”
Cambria keeps her voice light. “You’re just the hottest item on the market right now; everyone wants custody of you.” She turns to me with a teasing tone that doesn’t match the sad understanding in her eyes. “Fight you for him in the divorce.”
A shadow of a smile ghosts across my face. “Nice try, but I already told you; I can’t let you go, now that I have you.”
Dorian snickers. “Dude, do you have any idea how murdery that sounds while we’re alone in the woods?”
A real smile replaces the pitiful imitation of before, and things start to feel more normal despite the circumstances. Cambria retakes my hand under the guise of needing help over a fallen log and I commend her, despite being transparent. She’s feeding into my desire to take care of her, meeting me halfway as I try to navigate our complicated relationship.
We get back to the car and head home, frowning when I see Atlas’ motorcycle in the driveway. By the aroma hitting me the second I step through the door, he’s busy rage-baking. Better this than getting shit faced or doing something reckless, but there’s enough food to feed an army piled on the dining room table and kitchen counters, cooling.
“Come home for a snack?” she hedges, looking around and snatching a cookie off of a tray.
He sighs, swiping a hand down his face and leaving a line of flour behind. “I got fired.”
Honestly, I’m surprised it hasn’t happened before now. His days of availability change week to week so we can cross over and no one wants unreliable help. He’s a damn fine worker, but from a business standpoint, I understand. With as upset as he appears though, I keep my thoughts to myself.
“That sucks,” Dorian eloquently states, stealing a treat of his own.
Atlas meets my stare, green eyes hard enough to cut glass. “I got fired because someone complained I was getting preferential treatment due to my connection to you. So the boss fired me rather than deal with the noise.”
I tip my head in acknowledgement because really, what can I say? I did get him the job, but by the way his boss dropped him so easily, he obviously wasn’t afraid of fallout. Which just proves that wasn’t the only reason Atlas was still there after all of this time.
“I’m sorry.”
I just keep hurting everyone close to me, don’t I?
He sighs heavily and pulls something out of the oven. “Not your fault and I’m grateful you helped get me in, in the first place. With as much as we cross back and forth, I’m amazed it hasn’t happened sooner, honestly. I just wish he’d at least have fired me for that, because it would’ve been fair. Whatever, I’ll just start hunting for a new job when we get back from our next trip over.”
“Don’t worry about it too much. It might be in all of our best interests if you both can stay with Cambria until we can get ahead of the current situation. One less schedule and complication to navigate around.”
Cambria moves on to a cupcake, happily stuffing her face with sugar so she doesn’t need to find placating words. “Maybe we can just fake my death. If we can find a body that looks similar enough, we can dye her hair and leave her like a present for my family.”
Dorian shoots that one down before I can even get into how many things are wrong with the idea. “If they can see through glamour, you won’t be able to fake the marks. You’d need to carve into a person while they are still alive to give the wounds a chance to scar over.”
She frowns. “Shit. Well, one plan scratched off the list then.”
I go to double check our bags, making sure we each have one this time. We could very well end up in a position where we have to run, and if we get separated, I don’t want anyone to be screwed. Each bag has some clothes and food, emergency supplies, a knife, and a gun. I also tossed a plastic jar with a screw-on lid that we could use as improvised lanterns with the river water. I have no idea what we’re going to encounter after the panther incident, and aim to be better prepared this time around.
“Why don’t we plan for an early night and head out before dawn tomorrow? This trip home hasn’t been what I’d call fantastic and resetting might be good.”
She snorts, turning on the TV since it’s still a couple of hours before we can even entertain the thought of sleeping. “You say that like we need to go on a family camping trip to decompress. We might get mauled to death, you know; nothing to really look forward to.”
I sit beside her and drag her onto my lap, taking a page out of Dorian’s book and toying with the golden tips of her hair. “It was beautiful though, wild animals aside. I like it far better than your mother’s kingdom. We need to find the good amongst the bad or we’ll drive ourselves crazy. We have each other. That’s just going to have to be enough.”
***
“It really is stunning,” she agrees wistfully, looking around the light blue glow encompassing the dark forest.
I take it all in with a pang of longing, tempted to stay here forever. I might be considered successful, even lucky back home, but there’s countless stressors. There’s never a dull moment, and before Cambria forced my hand, I never had much downtime to just...relax.
A part of me never wants to leave.
“Are we finding somewhere to set up camp or just spending the day here?” Dorian asks, and I turn to Cambria for the answer.
“It feels so much more potent here than I’m used to.” She crouches down and runs her hand over the soft grass, nearly purring. “I don’t think I’ll need to stay the night; just hanging out for the day should be enough.”
That settled, we begin walking, eyeing things with caution. With as many things as could be hiding in the shadows, we can’t very well let our guard down, despite the very air begging us to. But peace does not equate to safety, and ultimately, I need to protect my family over lounging around.
Hours pass as we traipse through the woods languidly, just exploring. Our steps grind to a halt as we hear voices up ahead, all traces of ease vanishing in an
instant. We crouch down, drawing our weapons.
“Why Achlys won’t let us fight is beyond me,” a male voice gripes, his footsteps so light we’d never have heard them coming if they weren’t immersed in conversation.
“Why the queen does anything is anyone’s guess,” the other sighs, sounding worn down and defeated. “You know as well as I do what a suicide mission it would be at this point.”
“Like we aren’t all going to die anyway?” the first growls.
They carry on without seeing us, following a subtle path to the left and presumably towards a town. I’m tempted to follow and eavesdrop, anything to glean more information about what led to Queen Elorie wiping the shadow court from her subjects’ minds. Yet I stay rooted to the spot, because getting caught will only lead to trouble, despite my desire for answers.
Atlas thumps his forehead against a tree trunk when we’re alone again. “I swear, I get more exhausted every trip we make. Lies on top of deceit; I swear, the trees would sell you out for a drink of water. ”
Cambria threads her fingers through his. “At least we know what direction the nearest town likely is? So we can avoid it now. And we have a name for the queen here, which is more than we had before, so that’s a plus,” she tries in a pitiful attempt at comfort.
“To be fair,” Dorian starts slowly, mulling over an idea aloud. “We’re just assuming they’d be hostile if they found us. Rickon wanted to come here for a reason. He may have known the dangers in the forest well enough he thought they could survive for some time, but he planned this for years. He’d have known they couldn’t camp here forever. Maybe he thought to start over in that town.”
I run my tongue over my teeth again, agitated. “That’s a hell of a gamble for us to take.”
Atlas rests his chin on the top of Cambria’s head, one arm slung over her collar and holding her against him. “Maybe we should stake it out. Whatever information we can gain, the better, but we can’t just go from hiding her in the house to hiding her in the woods. There has to be a way out of this mess that gives her a shot at an actual life. If that jackass Rickon could figure something out, then we can too.”
Nervously, I agree, and the four of us creep stealthily without uttering another word. The closer we get to the town, the higher the likelihood of running into somebody before we’re prepared, and we have no idea what they’re capable of.
The light steadily increases with our proximity to the ‘city’ if you can even call it that; It’s more like a village nestled in a massive clearing. I feel the shimmer of power tingling across my skin when we step past a certain point, the same sensation as when we entered the glamour surrounding the castle. Here though, it was concealing the city from the outside and once you stepped through, you were seeing the real thing instead of a fake projection of perfection. It leaves my skin crawling, like a perpetual itch I can’t quite scratch.
So they’re hiding from Elorie too.
It’s a large enough settlement that I can’t see to the other side of town, especially from this angle. The homes are single or two stories, but nothing larger; built from wood or stone. The river runs right through the center of town, illuminating everything, and the plant life coating the exterior of the houses brightens the rest of the space.
Men and women flit in and out of view, a few flying, but not many. As opposed to Cambria’s flamboyant appearance, most are a deeper shade of unusual colors. Plums, maroons, sapphire; though it doesn’t make them appear subdued at all. They seem to have a tangible air of magic to them, as if lit from within. It’s mesmerizing and entrancing, making it hard to look away.
A child chases a ball, nearly tumbling into the river before a passerby snatches him up at the last second, sending him on his way with a shake of his head. We simply observe, trying to get a sense of the sort of fae that live here and if they’re any different to the ones in Elorie’s kingdom. After at least an hour of people watching, it’s clear there’s a sense of community that isn’t common in the human world anymore, and far less toxic than the light court. Everyone helps keep an eye on the stray children running rampant, even when it’s clear they aren’t related. They help one another, offering to lend aid to someone carrying too much, or greeting each other with smiles.
From the corner of my eye, I glance at Cambria to see how she’s dealing with the development, only to see her completely enraptured. After how ostracized she’s been, I imagine seeing so much easy kindness hurts to behold. She has every right to be envious, and I find myself not faring much better. My loneliness pales in comparison to hers, but I’ve always struggled to connect with people, been on the outside looking in for as long as I can remember.
I want this to be a safe haven for her, for us, but I know better than to hope. Anything that looks too good to be true typically is, in my experience, and I doubt this will be any different.
Atlas taps my shoulder, gesturing to his watch and back towards the ring. It’s harder than I imagine, peeling myself away, but I do. It’s so serene that I just want to lie here and observe them a little while longer, but I manage to fight through the compulsion and drag myself back to my feet. We wait until we’re far enough away before speaking, but Dorian beats me to it.
“Did anyone else feel...weird? Like this strong sense of peace that you’d do anything to preserve?”
I’m glad I’m not the only one affected, but it leaves a sour taste in my mouth, knowing my feelings aren’t my own. I’ve struggled enough dealing with all of these extreme reactions Cambria draws out of me, I’m not ready to discern what’s fabricated and what’s authentic.
Her face is scrunched up in contemplation, though she doesn’t look upset. “Whatever that was, it was like someone was actively using an ability, similar to how I mesmerize people, but infused into the glamour concealing the place. I didn’t know something like that was possible, but unless someone was watching us and we didn’t realize it, that’s my best guess. It’s genius, if so. It would make anyone coming to attack them less inclined to do so, maybe slow them down enough for the people to notice before it was too late and they were slaughtered.”
The ring comes into sight as we continue to walk, preparing to head home. “Do you think it’s worth the risk to try and settle there?”
There’s a heavy beat of silence as we all stop outside of the crossover, the charred circle just beyond our toes. “I do,” Atlas announces first, eyes hard with determination. “If I’m wrong, we’ll run, but I have a good feeling about that place, and I haven’t felt that way about anything else since meeting the fae.”
I turn to Dorian for his vote, because of any of us, he’s more prepared to deal with this sort of scenario. Slowly he nods, hesitantly giving his support to the idea. “But it’s clear Cambria’s not one of them. We need to be prepared for them to lash out as soon as they see her, if they really are hiding from Elorie and the rest of the light court. They’ll think she’s the enemy and get defensive, so we’ll need to proceed with caution.”
Cambria bites her lip before nodding as well. “If it comes down to it, I can get us out of there. I don’t want to, and you might need to keep me from spiraling, but I won’t let them hurt you guys.” At my stern look, she backtracks. “Won’t let them hurt us. I need to get past my hang-ups and anxiety eventually, more so now that we’re being hunted. Just don’t let me kill anyone if we can avoid it, please?” The last part is spoken quietly, full of the pain she’s carried throughout her life.
I wrap an arm around her waist and step into the crossover with her at my side. “I’ll find a way to keep your hands clean if it kills me. Promise.”
Just let me protect her. For once, let me be enough.
Chapter 6
Dorian
“Come on, I won’t tell,” Cambria begs, batting her eyelashes at me, but I remain steadfast.
“Nope. Sorry, gorgeous, but Luce will kill me if I tell you where the safe is.”
She’s been at this for over an hour, tearing the hou
se apart in her boredom. With all three of us out of work now, it leaves far too much time on our hands. As the saying goes, idle hands are the devil’s plaything. Cambria is a poster child for the phrase and I pull out my phone, searching for something to do around town. If she’s this bad, dear lord, I don’t ever want to meet a fae toddler; it would make me go prematurely grey.
“Then at least tell me what’s in it?” she attempts, flopping onto the couch beside me, a part of her giving up at last.
“Dragon dildos,” Atlas answers seriously, not even looking up from his phone. “Lucien just doesn’t want you to know his dirty secrets.”
She raises an eyebrow in challenge, not that he notices over whatever has him engrossed on the screen. “Bold of you to assume what we do or don’t do in his room,” she retorts just as seriously and he finally looks up at her with a raised eyebrow before catching the teasing glint in her amused stare.
He rolls his eyes as something finally catches my attention that I think she might be interested in. “What about laser tag?” Both her and Atlas’ eyes light up. “It’ll give Cambria something to burn off her chaotic energy and also work as target practice. Chances are high we’re going to be in increasingly shitty situations any day now, so making sure our aim is decent might be a good idea.”
Atlas tucks his phone in his pocket and claps his hands together, rubbing them back and forth before leaning over Cambria, caging her in. “How about another bet, my sweet fae?”
“That anxious to lose?” she purrs, intrigued.
He kisses her quickly, betraying the stern vibe he was going for. “That anxious to play with you.”
She grins. “Terms?”
He contemplates for a moment, cautious of his wording as always once we learned about that side effect of her lineage. Maybe that’s something we can use to our advantage down the road, but I doubt another fae will readily agree to something without being just as hypervigilant of the wording.
