“So, I think these agents are ones that can fill in some gaps in your team.”
Gaps? There were no gaps. They were perfect.
There was another, quieter voice inside Sariah’s head that whispered a deeper secret. That the real reason she didn’t want any other agents on the team was because she didn’t want anyone else to know how much of a coward she’d become.
She brushed away the thought and leaned forward.
“You’re adding agents to my team?” She glanced at the files. “But I thought that Humpty…”
“I know. At first I wanted your team to fly under the radar.” He gave a half smile while letting out a half sigh. “Sort of our own version of the Island of Misfit Toys.”
Sariah felt herself bristle at the comparison. These people were some of the finest individuals she’d had the pleasure to work with.
Tanner must have seen her tension level increase. “It’s not meant as an insult. You’ve got a team that works remarkably well in terms of out-of-the-box problem solving.” He pointed to the first file. “This one’s got a background in forensic science. Thought that could be an asset. She’s green, but good.”
Sariah’s complaint died on her lips. Actually, that could be helpful. She glanced over at the other. Agent Tanner saw her looking, and his smile turned into a grimace.
“This next one you might have more trouble adjusting to.”
* * *
“Salazar?” Reggie almost barked.
She was sitting across a picnic table from Coop, with Joshua on her right hand, Bella curled up at his feet underneath the bench. They were outside a pizza joint, munching on something called pepperoni rolls, a wad of pizza dough wrapped around pepperoni and cheese that was then dipped in ranch or marinara.
Had hadn’t joined them. Reggie couldn’t blame him for that. He had taken Bilal’s death as a personal blow, and he was a shadow of his former, chipper self. And while Reggie hadn’t wanted to leave him back at the hotel, Coop’s message for them to come join her had taken precedence in the moment.
Coop wasn’t eating much. She had the look of someone who’d been beaten about the head and shoulders. Since all Reggie had heard about Agent Tanner was that he was a decent guy, if a little buttoned-down, she assumed the beating had been a figurative one and not literal.
“He said that having someone to push against would be a good thing for me.” There was a sound of despair in her tone that spoke volumes about Coop’s deep feelings regarding this decision. “That a gadfly on the team would bring out my best.”
“A gadfly?” Joshua asked. He bit into one of the pepperoni rolls and spoke around the mouthful of food. “Who talks like that?”
Reggie slapped at his hand. “Who talks with their mouth full? Pig. We’re trying to have a serious conversation here.”
Joshua, possessed by some wild spirit, winked and opened his mouth wide, showing off the half-chewed chunk of food. Every once in a blue moon the former agent acted like he was still twelve.
It might have been her imagination, but Reggie thought it happened more with her than anyone else. There was something about that fact that made the gross act almost charming.
Under normal circumstances, that exchange would have at least gotten a half smile out of Coop, which was part of the reason Reggie had gone along with it. But the BAU agent just stared at her hands, her face drawn.
“You said there were two?” Reggie prompted. “Who’s the other one?”
Agent Cooper lifted her head. “She’s young. Latina. Name’s Lobo.”
“Lobo?” Joshua grunted, snatching up another roll. “Doesn’t that mean wolf in Spanish?”
Reggie waved his comment off. “But what’s her place on the team?”
“She’s there to help out with the forensics side of things.”
As much as Reggie could tell that Coop was upset about the additions to the team, she could also understand how having someone skilled at crime scene investigations would be a real asset. And, if she was being honest, she could almost get Tanner’s decision to bring Salazar on board. Much as it was clear that it was bothering Coop, it kind of felt like she could use some shaking up.
Then she thought of something else.
“Wait a minute,” she said, before she could think better of it. “Salazar’s an older agent than you.”
Coop nodded, her attention back on her hands in front of her.
“So, what does that mean?” Joshua asked. Something in his tone must have alerted Bella, as the dog stuck her nose out from underneath the picnic table.
“It means,” Coop said, dragging a lazy finger through some spilled ranch, “that I’m no longer in charge of the team.”
Wow.
Talk about burying the lead. This was a bombshell that would resonate through their team. Heaped on top of the actual real-world explosions that had already rocked them enough.
What was Tanner thinking?
Reggie glanced over at Joshua to see how he was handling the information. He had always been the one that had preached tolerance when it came to Salazar.
The former agent’s brow had furrowed so much it was like it came down to a sharp point. His nostrils were flared, and his breathing had increased.
“Salazar in charge?”
“That’s right,” Coop answered, but there was something in her tone that caught at Reggie’s attention. She rubbed her hand over her short-shorn hair, and seemed to be looking in any direction that wasn’t close to either Reggie or Joshua.
Reggie wasn’t the only one who noticed the strange behavior. Joshua leaned in across the table, tapping at the cardboard box their rolls had come in.
“What aren’t you telling us?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she answered, still not looking at either one of them. She picked up one of the pepperoni rolls and shoved it in her mouth. From what Reggie could recall, it was the first real bite Coop had eaten.
That bite wasn’t about hunger. It was about avoidance.
“C’mon, Coop,” Reggie pressed. “Spill.”
“She doesn’t have to,” Joshua spat out, his lips going back to a compressed line in between his terse words. “It’s clear what’s going on.”
“Well, it’s not clear to me,” Reggie muttered.
Joshua sighed, still managing to glare at Coop while he expressed irritation with Reggie. Now that was talent.
“Coop’s the lead on this case, and for Tanner to take that away from her would be more than a slap on the wrist… not that she doesn’t deserve it.” The last part was delivered in sotto voce, but it was clearly still intended for Coop to hear.
“So, she’s getting demoted?”
“That’s what she’s trying to convince us is happening. But I’m not buying that bullshit for a second.” He tapped again on the box for emphasis. “Tanner still thinks she’s a great agent. So do I, when she doesn’t have her head up her ass.” Coop lifted her head at that, meeting Joshua’s challenging gaze.
That sounded a lot like a compliment. What the hell was going on here? Reggie turned to look from Joshua to Cooper and then back again. But they were too busy staring down each other to break for her questions. If she wanted them answered, she was going to have to thrust her way in.
So that was exactly what she did. Climbing up on the table, Reggie kicked aside the remnants of their “meal”, positioning herself so that neither one of them could keep from looking at her.
“Explain,” she demanded of Coop. When the BAU agent dropped her head again she turned back to Joshua. “Now.”
Joshua grimaced. “She’s still the lead on the team, but she’s sharing that with Salazar. As the senior agent, he’ll be able to countermand her orders, but only if he’s got a really good reason.”
“That sounds kind of like he’s in charge,” Reggie countered.
“With anyone other than Agent Tanner at the helm, it might be,” Joshua agreed. “But my guess is that if Salazar challenges her
without good reason, he’ll pay for it. And Tanner will have told him that.”
Reggie shifted her attention back to Coop, who continued to study the surface of the picnic table as if the secrets to unified field theory were to be found within the grain of the weathered wood. Now that she was up on the table, Reggie was feeling more than a little foolish, but she couldn’t back down now.
“Is that true, Coop?”
There was no answer. Which, as far as Reggie could see, was an acknowledgement. Coop was still in charge, but she didn’t want to be. Now she could see why Joshua was so pissed.
To be straightforward about it, he wasn’t the only one. But maybe this would end up being an okay thing. They’d get a forensics specialist on the team, and Agent Cooper would get the kick in the rear end that she so obviously needed.
And how bad could Salazar be, really?
CHAPTER 7
Had waited at the curb of the Ronald Reagan airport, the taxi at his back. The driver was still inside, fuming with impatience and ill will. When Had’d asked him to wait, the man had rolled his eyes. Seriously.
All it did was remind Had of the fact that Bilal had been exceptional and that he would never be able to catch a ride with the Pakistani driver. Never ever again. On some level, he realized that he was maybe having a stronger response than was normal, but when it came to relationships he’d built here close to Quantico, Bilal had been the first… and one of the best.
And now he was outside the airport, watching for Bilal’s daughter to arrive.
That phone call had been one of the most difficult he’d made in his life. He himself had still been reeling from the after effects of the bombing, so he wasn’t even sure that the way he had gone about it was the best.
What had been disturbing at first was the lack of response. Nadira had gone quiet as soon as he’d broken the news to her. Their first conversation had lasted less than three minutes. But as the day wore on, she had called back several times, and by the third one, she had fallen apart.
Now she was meeting him to make final arrangements for the funeral.
After several more chats with Nadira, Had now knew much more about his friend than he had from the sporadic rides with the gregarious man. He had a wife who survived him, and with whom Nadira was going to move back in, at least for the time being. There was only the one daughter, and he had left his country in disgrace and some actual physical danger when he’d converted from Islam.
How had he not known any of this?
Had’s sense of guilt grew with each successive revelation, to the point that he no longer was sure he wanted to know. On a logical level, he knew that his reaction didn’t make sense. How was he to know that Bilal loved pistachios? Or that he had an irrational hatred of cats? But somehow each piece of information about the man he considered a friend made him feel more and more…
Superficial.
It was an accusation that had been leveled at him from the time he was in grade school. Few seemed to trust that his desire to meet new people and to learn everything he could about them was real. Many assumed that he couldn’t possibly be sincere.
It didn’t keep him from continuing to meet people, and in his senior class in high school he was voted “Most Friendly” by a landslide. But the other whisperings stuck with him, and every time he introduced himself on a plane, in a gas station, at some crime scene out in the middle of Nowhere, USA, there was a nasty little voice inside of him that questioned what his real motives must be.
And here, in Bilal, seemed to be proof positive that his naysayers were right.
“Had!”
His attention careened away from his woes and he saw, exiting the airport, the woman he was waiting for. He almost didn’t recognize her.
Nadira appeared wan in the bright midmorning sunlight. Her normally rich dark coloring had leeched out of her, leaving dark circles exposed under her eyes. The smile that she proffered him was a pale echo of her former mirth and mischief. It broke Had’s heart to see it.
He wrapped her up in a hug, murmuring the first things that came into his mind. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
“Hey,” she said, pulling away for a moment. “None of that. My dad would never stand for this kind of behavior. He’d tell us to stop whining, and you know it.”
Had chuckled in spite of himself. “Yeah, he probably would.” Watching her pick back up her bags a thought struck him. “Where’s your mom?”
Nadira shrugged. “She doesn’t drive. Thinks I’m crazy for stepping into the driver’s seat. She calls cars death traps on wheels.” She seemed on the point of saying something else, but then her attention was diverted to the taxi. “Well, this is going to be weird.”
“What?”
“I don’t usually take cabs,” she muttered. “I hate having other people drive me places. Doesn’t feel… safe.”
Something about that statement struck Had as funny, and he started laughing.
“What?” she demanded, her face twitching. “What’s funny about that?”
Had wanted to respond, but couldn’t, as his laughter increased when he saw her expression. Waving his hands helplessly, he tried to breathe.
After a moment, she began to laugh as well. “I guess that is a little ironic, isn’t it?”
That sent Had off into another paroxysm of mirth, and soon they were both gasping for air as they tried to contain themselves. Had felt tears running down his cheeks as he did what he could to get himself under control.
Their driver stepped out of the taxi. “Hey, you two coming, or what?”
They both looked at him, then glanced back at each other, collapsing into fresh bouts of guffaws. The driver harrumphed and then got back into the car.
Had managed to get enough air to say, “We… should probably… get your bags in the back… before he leaves us.”
Nadira nodded, and then began laughing again. “‘Hey… you two… coming, or what?’” she mocked the man as she dragged her luggage over to the taxi. “What a douchebag.”
“No kidding.”
She lifted one of her bags into the trunk the driver had popped open. Nice of him to do that, at least. Had grabbed the other one.
“Well, that was something,” she said, her eyes twinkling like Had remembered them doing back in Austin.
“I know,” Had said, shaking his head. “Sorry. I have no idea where that came from.”
“Are you kidding?” she answered. “Best thing that could have happened. I feel more like myself than I have since…” Her voice trailed off.
Had’s mirth ended like it had been turned off by a switch. “Yeah.”
“You seriously need to stop that.” She looked deep into his eyes for a moment, then seemed to make a decision. “He talked about you all the time. My dad.”
“What?”
Grimacing, she continued. “I didn’t want to say anything. Thought it was… I dunno… strange or something. But, yeah, he talked about you. Said he’d found a friend out here.” For a moment her eyes went soft and hazy, then hardened. “It was the first time he’d seemed happy since I moved to Austin.”
Nadira’s admission softened a place inside Had that he hadn’t been aware he’d stiffened. A place in his heart where he’d looked at himself and condemned what he’d found there. Meeting Nadira’s eyes, he saw a similar stiffness inside of her, a place where she was holding on to something painful. Something for which she blamed herself.
He didn’t have an answer for that hurt right now, but in that moment, Had determined that he would do whatever was necessary to help her in the same way she’d just helped him. Smiling his thanks at her, he closed the trunk just as their driver leaned on the horn.
“Come on! I don’t got all day!”
Had and Nadira gave each other a look.
“We have got to find a better taxi driver,” Had murmured as they both piled into the back. Nadira just nodded.
Bilal would’ve wanted it that way.
*
* *
There were times when Reggie felt like most of her life these days was spent hanging out in lobbies. At least this one was for a funeral home instead of a hotel. Actually, come to think of it, that probably wasn’t a better choice.
Reggie wanted to punch Joshua in the mouth. The former agent had been bitching about going to the funeral all morning. She wondered what Bella would do if her master were attacked. Reggie was pretty sure that even Joshua’s dog would be okay with her hitting him, at least this one time.
As far as Reggie was concerned, a bloody lip was simply going to happen if Joshua even once allowed Had to overhear his complaints. Serve him right, too.
Could he not see how much pain Had was in? Now that Nadira was here, it was better, she was forced to admit. She’d even seen him grin once or twice, although right afterward, he’d gotten a look on his face that said he felt guilty for smiling.
She sighed. People got so freaky around grieving. So much shame and pain rattling around inside seemed to create all kinds of bizarre reactions. She should know. When it came to grief, she had more than a little experience with it.
Which was what was so infuriating about Joshua’s response. If there was anyone who should know how to empathize, it should be him. The man had lost his entire family, and he couldn’t cut Had some slack when his friend died in a car bombing intended for him? That was just a dick move, as far as she was concerned.
She glanced over at the former agent, who was in turn looking at Had and Nadira. There was a wan look on the former agent’s face, the skin drawn taut across his cheekbones, emphasizing the lines around his eyes and the hollows underneath. He seemed older than Reggie had ever seen him, yet at the same time, it was as if she were looking into the eyes of a hurt little boy.
Maybe Joshua was dealing with some bizarre reactions of his own.
Since Nadira had gotten here, she and Had were together almost at every moment. And the time spent joined at the hip seemed to be doing them both some good.
Now the young Pakistani woman was sandwiched in between Had and an older, more traditional version of herself. Amal Ashkani, wife to Bilal, mother to Nadira.
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