The Fill-In Boyfriend

by Kasie West

  Clarissa nodded. “That’s covered.”

  “And the sign-up list online is looking pretty full. We might actually get a good turnout for this sober-grad-night thing,” Daniel said.

  “Don’t sound so surprised. Other schools do this, you know.”

  “I just figured everyone would want to party on graduation night.”

  “We will be partying.” I crossed number two off the list and tapped my pen a couple of times on the page. “So does anyone want to speak at the rally next Friday? Give the motivational ‘we’re about to graduate’ speech?”

  Daniel, who had just taken a sip from his bottle of water, coughed and tried to catch his breath. The others just stared at me.

  “What?” I asked.

  “We figured you’d want to speak for the last rally of the year.”

  “Yeah . . . Well, I’m asking if anyone else wants to.”

  Ashley shook her head no. As my eyes went around the table everyone else did the same. Daniel said, “Not really. You’re really good at it and this was your year. You’ve earned it.”

  I wanted to feel proud about that but I wasn’t sure if I should anymore. If that meant I was selfish. I had worked hard this year, mostly for college but also because I liked leadership and enjoyed giving speeches and fighting for a cause. I tapped my pen on the page a few more times. “Okay. I will. Thanks. As for the rest of the items on the agenda, just look over them and email me or Daniel with any questions. I think we’ll let out early today.”

  The room immediately filled with chatter as everyone stood and talked between themselves. Daniel was staring at me. I didn’t have to look to know.

  “What?”

  “You seem distracted today. Normally you’re so organized and put together.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “No, don’t be. It made you more real.”

  I finally looked his way. “What does that mean?”

  “I don’t know.” He glanced toward the door, where the last person had just filed out. “I guess this whole year you’ve seemed a bit untouchable.”

  “What do you mean? We dated. How is that untouchable?”

  “You were . . .” He hesitated like maybe he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. “You weren’t real. It’s like you were the representation of what a girlfriend is supposed to be.” He pointed at my binder. “The representation of what a school president is supposed to be. Picture perfect. Never a misstep. You could write the handbook.”

  I cringed.

  He finally stood. “It’s not a bad thing. But this is better. . . . It’s nice. Makes me want to ask you out again.”

  “You already did ask me out again, and I told you I don’t do repeats.” I threw my pen at him as he headed for the door.

  He laughed. “You’re only proving my point.”

  I sighed and looked around the now-empty table. I’d sat here all year and what had I really done? In my binder I flipped to the tab that read Prom. The sign-up sheet for band auditions was still there. Twenty acts. Some were soloists, a couple of duets. The show choir had even tried out. There were nine actual bands. I wasn’t sure which one was Nate’s but I’d figure it out. Maybe they had a garage practice I could crash.

  I could hear the music when I stepped out of the car. The beat of the drums reverberated through my chest as I walked up the driveway. I pasted on a smile and stepped through the side door. No one saw me at first and the song kept going, its beat reaching all the way to my toes. The song seemed catchy. The lead singer had a good voice and was very charismatic. My eyes were drawn to him as he bounced around, singing into a microphone. I repeated his name several times in my head so I would remember it—Marcus.

  I hadn’t stood there long when the drums stopped, Nate catching my eye with a questioning look. The other instruments kept playing but one by one each person stopped and eventually all eyes were on me.

  “This is a closed rehearsal,” Marcus said. If he knew who I was—the girl who had indirectly insulted his band just a couple of months ago—he didn’t let on.

  “I know. I was hoping to talk to you about possibly playing for sober grad.”

  He laughed once. “Is this a joke?”

  “No.” I held a clipboard as if that would make me look more professional, but I realized it probably also made it look like he was one of many bands I was considering. He was the only one. “You tried out for prom.”

  “And you and your friends passed. I think we’ll pass this time.”

  So he hadn’t forgotten.

  The other members, even Nate, nodded in agreement and the bass player said, “The sound equipment you guys had set up that day and at prom sucked. Hard. Metallica would’ve sucked playing on your equipment.”

  “Who’s Metallica?”

  Marcus grunted. “You’re the person in charge of music? Seriously, what have we done to deserve this form of punishment? How are you qualified to pick a band?”

  “I’m not. At all.”

  He opened his mouth as if he were going to argue but then paused before saying, “Exactly.”

  “But I liked what I heard tonight. Will you play for sober grad night? Please. I came here to personally extend an invite.”

  He looked me up and down and I wished Nate would say something, stick up for me, but he seemed to be letting Marcus call the shots. I didn’t blame him. “I don’t know. I have to talk to the band. Maybe.”

  “Will you text me and let me know?” I handed him a card with my number on it.

  He stared at it then shoved it in his back pocket. “Gia Montgomery is giving me her phone number. Wow.”

  “If you guys won’t play . . . maybe you can refer us to a band that will because, as you pointed out, I am so not qualified to pick one.”

  “Sure.”

  “Thanks.” I reached out to shake his hand and he gave me a fist bump. “How long have you all been playing together?”

  “Two years.”

  “Do you write your own music?”

  “We do.”

  “Well, I can tell you work hard. Thanks again.” I headed for the door.

  “Bye, Gia,” Nate called. I smiled and left. When I was almost to my car, I heard someone call after me. I turned around to see Marcus stroll up.

  “Hey, we’ll think about sober grad, okay?”

  I smiled. “I know, you already said that.”

  “But this time I mean it.”

  “Oh.”

  “See ya.” And with that he walked away.

  CHAPTER 31

  For the first time in as long as I could remember, I didn’t invite Claire and Laney over to help me get ready for my date with Hayden. If this was a real date. His sister had basically forced him to ask me to the play. She was most likely still working on her agenda of keeping Eve away from him. I even thought Bec might tag along with us, but when he showed up Friday night without Bec and kissed my hand at the door, I began to think that maybe it really was a date.

  “You look gorgeous, as always, Gia.”

  “Thank you. You do too.”

  “You think I’m gorgeous?”

  “I did handpick you out of a parking lot to play my date. You think I would’ve handpicked just any guy?”

  “Well, now here’s where that sends a mixed message. ‘Handpicking’ implies there were many to choose from. There was just me. So yes, I think you would’ve picked just any guy.”

  “Then I guess I was lucky you were gorgeous.”

  “Yeah, you were.”

  I shoved his arm and he laughed.

  There was no other physical contact all the way to the theater, and when I had convinced myself again that he had just invited me along as a friend, we entered the low-lit theater and he linked hands with me. My heart gave a jump of happiness. He pointed out some seats in the middle section and we made our way there. We were sidestepping down the aisle when someone called his name.

  We both turned toward the voice, and Spencer, his friend from the party,
waved. “Is there an extra seat down there?” he asked.

  Hayden nodded and Spencer joined us, taking the seat on the other side of Hayden when we sat down.

  “Hi. It’s Gia, right?”

  “Yes. Hi again.”

  Back to Hayden he asked, “Did you see Eve?”

  Hayden gestured with his head. “Yes, she’s a few rows back.”

  Eve was here? Bec probably knew she’d come to this. So this was all another act?

  No. I couldn’t let myself think that way. Just because I wasn’t sure of Bec’s motivations didn’t mean I couldn’t trust Hayden’s. He wanted me here. We weren’t pretending tonight. It was just a coincidence that Eve was here. Except . . . he’d pretended for me when we coincidentally ran into Jules in front of the ice cream shop. Was that what was happening now? Was that why he grabbed my hand? Even with that thought, I wasn’t willing to let go this time. I squeezed his hand harder. He caught my eye, and squeezed back.

  Spencer craned his neck around. “Where’s Ryan?”

  “You know how he feels about these things.”

  “Don’t we all feel that way?” He clapped Hayden on the back. “Oh, right, except you. You actually like watching people sing and dance. I forgot.”

  “You don’t have to be here, Spencer.” Hayden’s voice was light, but I couldn’t help remember what Bec had said about all his friends liking different things than he did. Why was Spencer here anyway?

  “You know I’m just messing with you. You’ve conditioned me. But I’m not used to sitting next to you during these things. I’m used to watching you.”

  Hayden said something I couldn’t hear to Spencer, who laughed. Then Hayden turned back to me. “You’re going to love this.”

  “I’m sure I will.” I looked at the program Spencer held. “Into the Woods. Like the movie?”

  He let out a growl. “It was a play first.”

  “Is it scary?”

  “It’s a fairy-tale mash-up.”

  The lights went dark and the orchestra started to play. A spotlight lit up the curtains and they parted. Hayden flipped my hand palm up on his knee and began running a slow finger up and down each of my fingers. My nerves were so heightened that the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I laid my head on his shoulder. He smelled amazing—like body spray and laundry detergent. If he was trying to make it impossible to watch the show he had brought me to, he was doing a really good job of it. By the time intermission had rolled around I was so caught up in the moment of being here with Hayden that I’d almost forgotten other people were watching the show with us. The loud applause brought me out of my daze.

  When the house lights came on, I sat up. “That was awesome.”

  Hayden smiled his full smile. “I’m glad you liked it.”

  “So . . . why aren’t you up there?”

  His jaw tightened and then loosened again. “There was a lot going on during tryouts.”

  “Yes, being a recluse is hard work.”

  His smile was back. “My sister has gotten in your head, I see,” he said, not denying the observation. “So intermission is only about fifteen minutes, but now would be the time for a bathroom break if you need one. They also sell cookies and drinks in the lobby. Did you want anything?”

  “I think I’m good.”

  “Okay, well, I have to use the restroom. I’ll be back.” His hand, which had found mine again, slipped free. I already couldn’t wait to be holding it again.

  “Okay.” I took a few deep breaths, trying to return my heart rate to normal. I picked up the program and started leafing through it. There were pictures of each cast member, what role they played, and where they had performed before. Spencer slid into the seat next to me and I realized I was being rude. I quickly shut the program and smiled at him. “Hi again.” I stuffed the program under my seat and pointed at the stage. “So can Hayden sing like that too?”

  “He can.”

  “I can’t wait to see him perform sometime. How long have you and Hayden known each other?”

  “For years.”

  “Where did you meet?”

  “At school.” He leaned a little closer and lowered his voice. “So I have a question for you.”

  “Okay.”

  “I have this baseball fundraiser coming up. I’m not trying to win back a girlfriend or anything but it would be so nice not to go stag for once. You know how guys are. They’re relentless with the jokes afterward. I don’t hear the end of it for weeks. But I don’t want to have to deal with actual relationship drama and expectations that come with asking out someone who I have to see all the time.”

  Was he asking what I thought he was asking? “I’m . . . I’m here with Hayden. Your friend.”

  “I know. But he told me your arrangement and it’s obviously working.” He nodded his head back and I slowly turned around.

  Behind us, Hayden and Eve were talking. Her arm was hooked around his and she laughed at something he said. He had a big smile on his face too.

  “He wanted her back. You helped him get her back. So, anyway, my thing, it would probably be three hours, tops. How much would you charge for something like that?”

  I stopped cold. “What?”

  “Just a date. Nothing afterward.” His eyebrows went up then down. “Unless you wanted to do something after.”

  I slapped him so hard that my palm stung.

  “Ouch. What was that for?” He cradled his cheek.

  “You haven’t changed at all.” He was still the same guy who had taken Laney out two years ago and treated her badly. I stood and stumbled backward and away from him. I made it out to Hayden’s car only to find it locked.

  I closed my eyes and counted to ten because I felt tears coming. I succeeded in keeping them at bay and sank to the curb. My phone showed a missed call from Bradley. I hesitated for one second, looked back at the empty theater entrance, then pushed Call Back.

  CHAPTER 32

  Bradley answered on the second ring. “That was the longest game of phone tag ever,” he said.

  “It was.”

  “How are you?”

  I thought hearing his voice again would stir something in me, make me remember what we had. Maybe even make me feel better. But it actually made my stomach hurt even more. “I’m okay. How about you?”

  “I miss you like crazy, Gia.”

  “Really?” It was nice to hear that someone was thinking about me.

  “You’ve handled this breakup way more maturely than I thought you would.”

  “Um . . . thanks?”

  “I just mean that I expected a million texts defending yourself but instead I got silence.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “No, that’s a good thing.”

  Right. Nothing like silence to rekindle a connection.

  “And I saw your tweet. You walked into prom and faced your friends alone. You showed so much maturity in that.”

  “I didn’t. Not really. A friend of mine actually ended up going in with me.” But were we really even friends? Was what Spencer just said true? I was surprised Hayden had told Spencer at all about the fake-date thing without warning me. Especially after he’d come and sat with us. Hayden should’ve warned me that Spencer knew. When had he told him anyway? Tonight?

  Bradley kept talking. His voice made me remember how easy our relationship had been. Uncomplicated. There weren’t ex-girlfriends to contend with or feelings to decipher or roles to be played. We had just been together.

  Silence took over the line and I realized he was waiting for me to respond to something I hadn’t heard. “I’m sorry. What?”

  “I want to see you again.”

  “You do?”

  “Yes.”

  Hayden and the way he’d been standing so close to Eve, laughing with her, flashed through my mind. “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Of course.”

  “What did you like about me?” I was feeling very unlikable.

  “You’re
fun. We had a lot of good times together.” That was all he said. Then he stopped like that was profound and should be enough to send me running back to him. Not that I was judging him. I was pretty sure that would’ve been my answer if he had presented me with the same question.

  “We did have fun but you were embarrassed by me.”

  “I was not.”

  “You didn’t want to meet my friends and you never let me meet yours. That hurt, Bradley.”

  “Wow,” he said. “You’re . . . different.”

  What was I thinking? Bradley wasn’t the answer to the hurt I was feeling over what Hayden had just done. “I think I am. I have to go.”

  “Wait, Gia.”

  “I can’t do this. I have to go.” I hung up the phone then looked toward the theater entrance. I wasn’t sure what to do. I guess I’d thought Hayden would come after me, but he hadn’t. He was too busy trying to win Eve back. Maybe I should’ve let him explain himself, but right now I was so angry and there was no way I was walking back in there with Spencer and Eve waiting in the wings.

  I wasn’t familiar with this part of town, but I saw a bus stop on the corner, several people waiting indicating it might actually be coming soon. I slid off my heels and walked toward it. The bus took five minutes to arrive, plenty of time for Hayden to come looking for me. He didn’t. So when the bus came, the words Beach Front scrolling along its digital screen, I climbed on. I only had a five-dollar bill and the bus driver grumbled while he produced change for me.

  I sat next to a woman with earphones in, hoping that meant she wouldn’t try to talk to me, and concentrated on not crying for ten minutes.

  My phone vibrated with an incoming call from Hayden that I ignored. Next came a text. I was almost too scared to look but I did.

  Where are you?

  I didn’t answer, not sure what to say. A stupid tear dripped down my face. I swiped at it angrily.

  That’s when the woman next to me decided to stop ignoring me. She took out her earbuds. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, I’m fine.”