Iris

by Nick Whitesides

  I can still hear the shots, I can even smell the gunpowder. It comes alive before me as she recounts the sentry’s demise.

  “So stop giving me excuses and give me some answers. I’m tired of wasting my time and energy trying not to hate you, but I do. I have to constantly re-sync my BAND to keep from going over my limit. I can’t even concentrate on my work whenever you’re around because just being near you makes me sick to my stomach with rage. Now tell me why you did it.”

  The silence following her outburst consumes me. I can’t even look at her. Not right now. She has a hold on me with invisible strings that tug at my emotions. She makes my heart race faster and then slower, manipulating every beat. Changing its rhythm with every word she speaks.

  It’s maddening. I breathe in deeply as my eyes dart around the room. What can I say? She wouldn’t understand what it’s like in the fields. My chest rises and falls as I scramble to say something—anything that will break this unbearable quiet.

  Finally, I look up. Razor sharp tears sting the corner of my eyes but I force them back before I speak. “He. Killed. Them.”

  All power of speech leaves me as my head sags into my hands. I swallow several times to keep from being overwhelmed. This is the first time I’ve slowed down enough to remember what happened that day.

  Lucilla’s bloodstained shirt. Adaam’s lifeless body and bruises around his neck. Vae’s misshapen and broken face. It hits me like a tidal wave. I want to cry. I want to let it all go and unleash an earthquake of grief.

  The tears could be my way of saying, “I will remember you.” I feel a gently-placed hand on top of my shoulder and calm breaks through the sorrow. The effect is so immediate it’s almost shocking.

  She’s been so cold and calculated for weeks. I’d never seen this in her before. Warmth. A kind of soothing and assurance that I have become unfamiliar to after so many years. Suddenly I panic and look down at my BAND, expecting to see several missed warnings.

  “I’ve delayed the warning system for now. It’s on automatic restart for calibration so that should give us about ten minutes.”

  I wipe at the tears on my cheeks. “What is this? Why would you do this?”

  Her arm extends and her hand reaches for my chin, tilting it up so that I can see her face to face. “We’ve all seen a lot of death. It’s the reality of our world. I read the report. I know about the children. I just… I guess I didn’t want to believe it. I know IRIS isn’t perfect, but it works. Except, now I wonder if it really does keep everyone safe. I know it’s not your fault. I was looking for someone to blame. Even though a part of me always believed you were right.”

  Peace like I’ve never known washes over me. The ability to feel, unhindered, is surely a luxury IRIS wants to keep its dependents from. And now I know why. It’s intoxicating.

  “You could get sent to Cleansing for tampering with my BAND. Or I could be killed if you screwed it up.”

  “Relax, I am BES, remember?”

  While it’s true she can maintain my BAND, a BES possesses a limited knowledge. Years ago they assigned one person to master the full mechanics of the BAND. We called him or her a Keysmith. But this role was discontinued long before I was born.

  Although she is no Keysmith, Leina is extremely talented with the mechanics despite my anxiety. “How long did it take you to get this good?” I question, still surprised.

  “Not too long. I’ve always had this knack for electronics. I like to think that if I had a choice I would do more with it.”

  I stand up and look around the room again, then back to Leina who is staring at me curiously. Looking over my shoulders I ask, “What? Do I have something on my face?”

  Before I can react Leina reaches out her hand and wipes the tear track on my cheek. “You’re not like the other SIO’s, Krys. You’re different,” she whispers. Her hand pulls away and instantly I long for her touch again. Ache for it.

  I close my eyes tight and open them again, trying to erase the euphoria and failing to do so.

  “I think I do believe you.” She turns toward her desk and opens a drawer.

  “Why are you doing this for me? All the other SIO’s want me dead.” She picks up a picture and approaches me cautiously.

  She looks down at it for a moment and then hands it to me slowly. My mouth gapes open. It’s a picture of Kalen and Jathom.

  “Jathom is my life-giver.”

  It makes so much sense now.

  “Maybe a part of me was also a little jealous that he spends most of his free time with you instead of his own offspring. But I can see why.”

  “How did you manage to keep this? Personal artifacts are outlawed.”

  “This is my office, and my position gives me certain security overrides. No one comes down here to check on me so I can pretty much do as I please.”

  I laugh out loud, unsure if it’s from amusement or terror. “You do realize that if they find this you could die?”

  She shrugs. “I’m pretty good at keeping secrets.”

  There’s a sudden jabbing pain in my left forearm as my BAND lights up. “Must have booted up again, and it looks like our chat is over.” The aching gets even worse. I try to suppress the sudden desperation to tear the BAND out of my flesh.

  “You’d better go get ready for your exam, Krys.”

  The door falls through to the ground once more, opening up into the hallway. She steps through and disappears into the darkness. It takes a while to compose myself. Trying to regain my focus, to keep my thoughts within their limits.

  I replay Leinas hand on my cheek and the warmth of her words. The picture of my life-giver and Jathom. Reliving the horrible details of Lucilla’s death. All this vanishes as I’m pulled back to consciousness by an insanely painful shock.

  I don’t even have to look to know that was my first warning. With a sigh I head out the door towards the arena. I open my locker, take 2 vitamins, and begin wrapping my hands again. My body runs on autopilot, unable to unglue my thinking of Leina.

  Then it’s overridden by a more powerful thought. The large, ugly scar that runs down Brutus’s face.

  He is waiting for me in the center ring of the training area. I step up and go to my corner. Leina is sitting by the far end with an electronic clipboard.

  “Taking notes?” I say with a little more sarcasm than I was wanting. She shoots me a look and immediately begins writing something. I want to explain my comment but before I get a chance she says aloud, “I’m just here to observe and rank you.”

  I turn my head back to Brutus who has decided to fight me without any protection on. “Alright now, shall we begin?” he squawks in his high pitched voice.

  My hands immediately fly up into a defensive position as we square off. I advance slowly and keep my posture tight. Brutus’s stance is loose and nonchalant. His arms are crossed as he leans up against the ropes.

  “You think you’re pretty special, don’t ya, granger?” I ignore him and attempt to sweep his legs with a kick. He dodges and counters with a sweep of his own. I spring back up, jumping into the center of the ring.

  I look over at Leina whose pen is flying, attacking the screen of the clipboard. Come on, Krys, focus, I encourage myself. Brutus takes advantage of my hesitation and strikes.

  He lands a combination of punches. One to my stomach, one to my throat, and a haymaker across my face. He finishes with a kick that rockets into my rib cage.

  The force of his attacks are astonishing considering his small size. He knocked the wind right out of me. I’m nearly ready to collapse.

  I stumble back to my corner, hugging my stomach. Brutus scorns me with SIO slang that I’m unfamiliar with to mock me in front of a group of Atlases that have stopped to watch. “You’re a pathetic sucio, granger!”

  I turn my head to look at Leina. Her face is lined with bitterness. “Keep on your toes!”

  Her jeer fires me up and I get ready for another round.

  “The Council’s pet allowed within the
ranks of the great SIO’s? It’s a disgrace!” Brutus taunts, facing the other Atlases. I put my feet apart, bouncing lightly, to keep myself psyched. He turns around with a big grin and jabs at me but I see it coming and dodge to the left.

  He sends another combination of punches and kicks at me. I barely manage to dodge and counter with my own combo. I block his kicks with my shins and his punches with my forearms and elbows.

  It’s amazing how calloused they’ve become in such a short amount of time. An opportunity opens up after he throws a big right hook. I get up underneath him and uppercut his temple then follow up with a back kick which launches him into the air.

  His slender frame slams into the middle of the ring floor. I shout in triumph and raise my arms up above my head. I glance back at Leina who wears a look of panic.

  By the time I register this, it’s too late. I turn just enough to see Brutus uppercut my jaw in retaliation. I step backwards, spitting out the blood in my mouth. Without warning he springs upward with a furious spinning kick that finds its home right into my chest.

  Next thing I know I’m on the floor and gasping for air. He’s good. Even though I’m almost twice his size, it’s clear that he is the better fighter. The pain is too crippling to continue.

  I hold my stomach as if my insides were about to spill out. Brutus laughs with his back turned towards me again. The group of Atlases clap and cheer. My face scrunches into a snarl as my rage begins to come to a boil.

  I launch at him full speed, wrap my arms around him, and squeeze with all my might, lifting him up into the air with ease. “Let’s see you get out of this.” I grit my teeth, tasting iron from the blood still lingering in my mouth.

  My superior strength should be enough to hold him but with lighting fast speed he spins around and slips from my grasp. He grabs me by my wrist and flings me onto my back. Unable to suppress the pain, I let out a yelp.

  A sharp pinch surges in my ribs and arm. He must have fractured something. “Don’t you ever touch me again you disgusting sucio, granger.” His tone is like vitriol as he kneels beside me, his head cocked with an expressionless face.

  The same inhuman nothingness that I saw in Artemis when we met. I officially lose my composure as the fight or flight starts to override my thinking.

  “Look at you. You’re scared, aren’t you?” he scoffs and spits on my shirt. “You’re like a child. Wasted here when you belong in the dirt growing our food.” He stands and takes a step back while I’m in too much pain to move.

  “Then again, I know all about you, Krys. I know why you’re here and I know what you did. You could {become a first class SIO like me if you wanted. You might just have what it takes.” He shoots Leina a look while rubbing his chin.

  Desperately, I crawl away. Must get away. “But I have to ask you something and I want you to be completely honest with me.” I sit up against the ropes. “Did you enjoy it?”

  Still dazed, I don’t fully comprehend his question. “What do you mean?” Stooping down he says softly so only I hear. “Did you enjoy it, watching that little girl die?” The words bring me back again. I’m holding Lucilla in my arms, her lifeless eyes looking up at me.

  Despite the pain, I stand again, fuming. “You don’t get to talk about her. You don’t even know her name!”

  Brutus’s composure melts from his face for a moment. He raises his eyebrows with a perplexed look and whispers, “Did you love her?”

  Anguish plows through my heart. “What does it matter to you?” I wipe my mouth, smearing blood on my forearm.

  “You see, I’ve always had this fascination with death and love. How they both have the ability to allure, to dominate. When you feel that connection sever and the light fades away from their eyes . . . it’s . . . it’s overwhelming, addicting, intoxicating.”

  My mouth drops in disgust.

  “There’s nothing quite like it, is there?”

  I spit, aiming for his face. But he quickly moves out of the way. “You’re sick, Brutus.”

  With barbaric contempt, he slaps me across the cheek. “Don’t you spit at me, you sucio!”

  The ferociousness settles after a moment. Both of us, locked onto one another with a burning loathing.

  “It must have been unbearable to see her die.”

  Something inside me snaps. Lunging forward, I swing as hard as my body will let me. Not to incapacitate, but to kill. It’s intercepted by something.

  Leina. She blocks my punch and sends me flying with another flip. I land hard on my back, dislocating my arm. “Your exam is over, Krys.” I writhe in pure agony as she addresses Brutus next. “You’re done here, Brutus.”

  Almost automatically he turns around and exits the ring. Then she bends down to examine my wounds. “You did pretty well for your first exam.” Without warning, she pulls my arm out and puts it back into place with a horrible popping noise.

  A sudden burst of nausea hits me but the pain in my shoulder keeps me from vomiting. I sit up and groan. Every muscle is sore. “Better go take your multivitamin tablets before you can’t move at all.”

  “What is the matter with that guy?” I ask, still heated from his words.

  “That’s just Brutus,” she replies simply. She holds out her hand and I take it gladly.

  “What did he mean I could become a first class SIO?”

  She looks down for a second. “Well, now that he’s addressed it, I can tell you. First class are the most elite in all of the SIO’s. They are the only Atlases with permission to take a person’s life. The highest ranked, the most skilled, the most dangerous.”

  “He’s a killer?”

  “It’s not that simple. But you wouldn’t understand. We’re all used to death around here. It’s something that you’ll learn to deal with on a daily basis. Even more than in the fields.”

  I’ve gotten used to pain of living under the harsh restrictions as a granger, but the idea of getting used to death… I nearly pass out as I spit another mouthful of blood. Licking the inside of my cheek, I feel a deep cut. I must have bitten it when I hit the mat.

  “Why did he tell me I could be like him?” Leina grabs me a towel and begins to wipe away some of the blood from my face. “Leina…?” She doesn’t answer. “What’s the qualification?”

  “I don’t think that’s something you need to worry about, Krys. Protocol must be followed. Though I’m sure you wouldn’t be interested in it.”

  “Why not?”

  She stops wiping and looks at me intensely.

  “How do you become a first class SIO?” I ask again. Her eyes linger before she answers.

  “You have to kill your trainer.”

  Chapter 6 Broken

  Slowly, I break through the sticky daze consuming my subconscious. I haven’t been able to stop hearing those words all week. You have to kill your trainer.

  The inviting warmth of the blanket subdues the growing pit in my churning stomach. I’d give anything to just stay in bed today. Reluctantly, I waive away my lethargy. My thoughts zoom faster than Jathom’s sleek car.

  No response from my muscles as my body refuses to obey me, almost paralyzed. A piece of dried gunk wedges into my closed left eye. Wincing, I rub it vigorously until the stinging subsides as a heavy wave of exhaustion threatens to overpower me.

  With blurred vision I survey my room, noticing how the rays of sun pour in from the windows. The glass of the Sphere was designed to block out most of the harmful UV rays; reflecting and redistributing them evenly. Tiny bits of dust in the air form the rectangular pillars of streaming light.

  Particles zip up and down; floating and speeding around each other like a dance. They enter into the light-up square then vanish into the shadows.

  I sit up, passively fixed on my surroundings, frozen in the moment. The entire apartment is aglow with a celestial luster. Judging by this it should be nearly midday. Midday.

  The momentary euphoria is instantly replaced with excruciating panic as I spring out of the corner. Wh
at time is it? I look down at my BAND. I feel my eyes widen as bewilderment spreads through my body.

  It’s off! It’s completely off!

  The surface is untouched as the metallic edges gleam. “No,” I whisper. My fingers tremble as I press and prod it. “Come on. Come on!” Each second intensifies into pure terror as the grip of the situation begins to choke me.

  Somehow, the impossible has happened. My BAND has stopped working and I’m still alive. Paranoia builds as I begin expecting SIO’s to appear out of thin air; ready to arrest me and send me to Cleansing.

  Each breath is deafening in the silence. The room starts to shrink as my despair grows. My knees hit the floor as vivid premonitions of my public execution project themselves into reality. Clutching my BAND, I pull my arms into my chest as hyperventilation dominates my breathing.

  What do I do? Where can I go? I can’t just stay here!

  But I do. Unable to interrupt the mental lock of playing every scenario, every possibility, every excuse that could keep me from death. But they all end the same way.

  With tremendous effort, I force myself to stand up, holding back the flood of emotion threatening to drown me. I run my hands through my hair tugging and pulling away, using the pain to keep me focused.

  “This can’t be happening. This can’t be real. There’s gotta be…gotta be something.” I tilt my head down again to look at the dead apparatus. I’m disconnected; amputated from the system. Staring into its lifeless black screen, I could almost hear it taunting me.

  You’re going to die. You’re going to die.

  My ears perk at a faint knocking. I hold my breath, treading lightly to my front door. I can’t open it automatically, so I slide open a square panel on its front to access the emergency latch. Inch by inch, I pull slowly on the handle until it disconnects from the top and bottom, now swinging on a hinge.

  In the hallway is a tall skinny man in a familiar gray suit. An Arbiter. He knocks on the door which vanishes into the ground as a young woman comes out.

  What would another Arbiter be doing here? Did something happen to Jathom? First my BAND is off and now this? It can’t be a coincidence.