The Deeper We Get (The Harder I Fall #2)

by Jessica Gibson

  “Wow. That was intense,” she panted from under me.

  “Intense is an understatement. I think we levitated at one point.” I laughed and rolled to the side so she could scoot out from under me.

  “Let’s never go that long between again.”

  “Deal.” She leaned in and kissed me softly.

  “What do you want to do with the rest of our day?” It was only ten in the morning.

  “I vote we stay naked all day and eat junk food.”

  “I think that could be arranged. But who is going to get said junk food, we have nothing here. I think they frown upon naked grocery shopping.”

  “Fine, we can put clothes on for shopping.”

  “Who knew you were such a fan of my naked body.” I laughed.

  “I didn’t know I was until I couldn’t see it for a month. Now I know how much I like it.”

  “The good news is that I’m a huge fan of yours too.”

  “Glad to hear it.” She wiggled her naked butt as she put her panties back on. “Come on then, get those pants back on so we can go.” She tossed them at my face.

  “So I’ve been thinking.”

  “About?”

  “Us.”

  She stilled and looked at me. “Where are you going with this?”

  “Not on one knee so stop looking so freaked out.” I laughed.

  “Thank God, I love you and all, but I’m a baby still and have no desire to be married right now.”

  “Good, on the same page.”

  “Where were you going with this before I derailed us into a weird marriage conversation?” She chuckled.

  “How would you feel about moving in here with me?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “You pretty much live here anyway.”

  “Frank might have something to say about it.” She looked pensive.

  “Yeah, he might.”

  “Can I have a couple of days to think about it?”

  “Would he feel better if you had your own room?”

  “He might.” She smiled.

  “Would you feel better if you had your own room?”

  “Maybe. Not that I wouldn’t want to share a room with you, but I kind of like my own space sometimes. Plus then you wouldn’t have to see all the weird things I do when I’m by myself.”

  “I think your own room could be arranged.” I grinned. “Wait, what weird things do you do when you are alone?”

  “Wouldn’t you like to know?” she said coyly.

  “Yes, that’s why I asked.”

  “Oh come on, like you don’t have weird things you do alone?”

  “Does masturbating count?”

  “Nope, we all do that.” She laughed. “It has to be something really weird.”

  “Tell me one of yours as an example.”

  “Not a chance.”

  “It seems that we’re at an impasse then doesn’t it.”

  “It appears we are.” She kissed my cheek. “Now come on, let’s go get some food.”

  I couldn’t stop trying to guess what her weird alone things were as we were shopping.

  “Do you sleep with something over your face so spiders won’t crawl in your mouth?”

  “What? No, that is the strangest thing ever. Who would do that?”

  “I don’t know. This is killing me over here! I hate not knowing things.”

  “Get used to it baby, I’m not cracking anytime soon.”

  “Nope, not going to get used to it. Do you wear those weird gloves on your hands at night after you put on Vaseline or lotion?”

  “No, can't say that I do that. Although good guess.”

  “Good guess? Does that mean that I’m on the right track?”

  “I didn’t say that.” She smiled wanly.

  “Yeah but you didn’t not say it either.”

  “Why don’t you just concentrate on what you want to buy,” she suggested as she tossed some ice cream into the basket.

  “Okay, you win for now.” We moved on to the next aisle. I tossed in frozen pizzas, French fries, and frozen burritos.

  “I think we need candy and soda, and maybe whipped cream and chocolate milk.” She tapped a finger to her lip.

  “Anything you want baby.” My phone vibrated in my pocket. It was my lawyer calling. “I’m going to take this outside, it’s my lawyer. Keep shopping though okay?” She blew me a kiss and I answered as I walking.

  “Hello?”

  “Chad, it’s Greg, can you talk?”

  “Yeah, what’s up?”

  “I just got off the phone with your dad’s lawyer. They are going to try and claim insanity.”

  “What? There’s no way they can do that right?” I could feel my blood pressure rising.

  “Unless they can get someone to corroborate that they can’t.”

  “So it’s looking like we’ll have to go to trial for sure?”

  “It’s looking like it, yes.”

  “I don’t understand this, how was he not yanked right back to prison when he violated his parole?” We had since found out that he had left the state of Washington without permission.

  “His crimes here are more serious. He’s going to face jail time no matter what Chad. I’ll call you when I have more information.”

  “Thanks Greg.” After I hung up I went to find Scarlet.

  “Who was that?”

  “It was Greg, he told me Tom is trying to plead insanity.”

  “No way! They won’t let him do that will they? Being on drugs doesn’t make you insane.”

  “Let’s hope not.”

  “Are you okay?” She looked concerned.

  “I am, let’s not let him ruin our fun naked day.” That got a smile from her.

  “I’ll even let you go back to guessing what my weird habits are.” She winked.

  I made the decision to withdraw from school. There was no way I could catch up on all of the work I had missed while I was in the hospital and recuperating. In a way, I was relieved I didn’t have to pretend I wanted to be there anymore. And, for once, no one in the family was giving me grief about it. For now they were letting me figure out this situation on my own. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go back until the following year, not until after the trial at least.

  “What are you going to do with all of your free time now?” Scarlet asked as we were lounging on the back patio watching the waves.

  “I haven’t really thought about it. Work most likely.”

  “That is a really boring answer.”

  “Sorry, I’m not that exciting.” I shrugged.

  “I think that you should do more fun things. We’ve had enough nonsense the past few months. We could use some fun.”

  “What kind of fun?” I dug my fingers into her sides making her squeal.

  “That kind for sure, but more along the lines of amusement parks and road trips. We’re only young once right?”

  “I’m not opposed to planning some trips, I just want to get all this trial stuff out of the way. I feel like I can’t really move on until it’s behind me.” I had a hard time imagining the future. I was constantly nervous about something unexpected happening. After Greg had called saying Tom was going to plead insanity I hadn’t felt calm.

  “I get that.” She snuggled up against me.

  “Have you given any more thought to moving in here with me?” I broached the subject I had been trying to give her space on.

  “Sort of.”

  “What are your thoughts?”

  “Do you think it’s too soon? I mean we’re so young, and I don’t know, we’ve had kind of a rocky time since we started.”

  “We are young, and yes it is soon. This might scare you, but I can for sure see a future with you down the line with a ring on your finger and babies around us. I don’t want to rush into any of that yet while we aren’t ready, but I do want to move forward. I want to wake up to you every morning and go to sleep knowing that you’re here.”

  “I can see a future w
ith you too. I just want to take this a bit slower. We’ve been through so much together in the short time we’ve been dating. Why do we need to rush it?”

  I had wanted her to just say yes, not to think about it so hard. “We don’t need to rush it. You're right.” I smiled, but it was false.

  “It doesn’t mean I don’t love you. You know that right?”

  “I know.” I pulled her onto my lap and kissed her. I wanted her to feel safe and secure in this relationship. While I wanted her here, I was going to have to wait and bide my time until she was on the same page.

  “Are we okay?” She looked at me uncertainly.

  “Of course we are.”

  “I don’t want to disappoint you.”

  “You never could. I just want you to trust me again, enough to give me your heart completely.”

  She opened her mouth to protest.

  “No, don't deny that you haven’t been keeping me out a little bit. I understand it, we’ve been through too much for you to let me back in that easily.”

  “The fact that I love you, that I’m here with you again, speaks a lot to how far my mindset has changed. I never stopped loving you. Even though I was so mad, I couldn’t hate you.”

  “I’m not perfect. I know I’ll do a lot of stupid things to push you away and make you mad.”

  “I’m not asking for perfection.”

  “What do you need from me?”

  “Just you.” She kissed me lightly. “The real you baby. No lies, nothing hidden from me.”

  “You know the real me.”

  “Some days I don't know if I do. You have this wall you put up, and I know it’s to protect yourself, but you have to tear it down eventually.”

  Maybe she was right. I had always kept certain parts of me hidden because I was ashamed of them. Of course there was my past—that alone would send most people running for the hills.

  “I can try. What if I tell you things and you run away?” That was my biggest fear.

  “I’m not going to run.”

  I sighed. “You win.” I was anxious, it felt like there were bees in my veins instead of blood.

  “I’m only asking for you to really let me in. Just to try, to stop being so afraid. Can you do that for me?” She kissed me.

  “For you I would slay dragons.” I pressed my lips to hers.

  “You already have,” she said softly.

  We hadn't really talked about what happened, we sort of glossed over it. “Do you want to talk about it?” I knew she would get what I was talking about.

  “Kind of. But we don’t have to if it’s too hard for you.”

  “It’s a sore subject for me, but it happened to us both, and maybe we need to talk about it.”

  She nodded and shifted back into her seat so we could look at each other. “It was so scary. I seriously thought that I was going to die.”

  “I’m so sorry.” I reached for her hand.

  “I know you are, and I’m sorry that he used me to make you do what he wanted.”

  “Hey, that’s not your fault at all, he did that. Seeing you with him when I came inside, the blood on your face, the bruises forming. It tore me up.”

  Tears slipped down her cheeks. “It brought back so much from my past, everything with my dad.”

  That was what I was afraid of. “I know the violence of it was a lot for you. I can’t apologize for my part in that. I would do it again in a heartbeat, I’m only sorry that he’s not dead.”

  “Do you mean that?”

  Did I? “I don’t know if I really want him dead. But you have to understand that I have that in me Scarlet. I have that violence in me, it’s part of who I am.”

  “You would never hurt me that way.”

  “No, I wouldn’t.” I looked in her eyes, wanting her to believe it with all of her heart.

  “I thought I had lost you forever,” she whispered.

  “I’m here baby. I love you so much, more than I ever thought was possible for someone like me. I choose you. Over anything and anyone else, I choose you.”

  “I choose you too.”

  “My whole heart, every part of me, is yours for as long as you want them.” I erased the space between us and took her in my arms. As long as it took, I would prove my love and my intentions to her. Now that I had her back, I had nothing but time to make her see just how good we could be together.

  Me: Are you ready yet?

  I texted Scarlet. She replied almost instantly.

  Scarlet: Yes, all set. I hate not knowing where we are going. The suspense is going to kill me.

  Me: Patience is a virtue.

  Scarlet: One that I don't wish to possess ;)

  Me: I’ll be there soon. Love you.

  Scarlet: Love you too.

  I drove over to Scarlet’s house in the Lexus that Ruth had insisted on buying me before she went back to New York. Her reasoning was that she could drive it when she came to town. I learned a long time ago not to argue with her about things like that. She would get her way no matter what, so it was easier to just go with the flow. Of course I still preferred my bike to anything, but I had to admit that it was a nice car.

  The only instructions I had given Scarlet was to pack a bag for three nights and bring comfortable shoes. She was waiting outside when I pulled up, her little rolling suitcase by her feet and a huge grin on her face.

  “Happy birthday baby.” I swooped her up in my arms and kissed her.

  “Will you tell me where we’re going now?” she begged.

  “Nope.” I grinned at her.

  “You’re mean,” she pouted.

  “I know, I’m a terrible boyfriend. Come on, let’s get this show on the road, we have a bit of a drive.” I opened her door and then popped her bag into the trunk.

  “Which direction are we driving?” she questioned.

  “Not telling.”

  “Really? You won't even tell me the direction?”

  “Nope, not even the direction. Here, put this on.” I tossed her a pink satin sleep mask.

  “Seriously?”

  “Yep, I want this to be a total surprise.”

  I waited until I was sure she couldn’t see anything before pulling away from the curb. I tried to keep her as occupied as I could while we drove. I asked her endless questions to keep her from trying to guess where we were going.

  “Are we almost there?” she asked after about an hour of driving.

  “Almost.” We were about ten minutes from our destination, and I was starting to get really excited. I knew she was going to love it.

  As we were pulling into our destination I told her to take off her mask. “Are you ready to find out where we are?”

  “So ready.” She pulled her mask off and let out a scream when she saw the sign. “Disneyland! This is the best surprise ever. Thank you babe.” She leaned over and kissed my cheek.

  “Wait until you see the room I booked us at the Disneyland Hotel.” I grinned at her and pulled into the valet area.

  I got us all checked in, and Scarlet roamed the lobby looking at everything. “How did you know that I’ve always wanted to stay here?” she asked when we were in the elevator.

  “I must be psychic.” I winked.

  We walked down the long hallway and stopped in front of our door. “Ready?”

  “I couldn’t be more ready!” She was bouncing on her toes next to me.

  When I opened the door she gasped in delight. “Wow, this is amazing.”

  I had booked us the Fairy Tale suite, and it did not disappoint. Scarlet looked like a kid in a candy store as she walked around and touched everything.

  “I cannot believe you did this for me.” She had tears in her eyes.

  “I would do anything to see that smile on your face baby.” I pulled her into my arms. “We’ve had too much sadness lately. It’s time for us to make some happy memories together. Are you ready to go play in the parks?”

  “You bet your ass I am.”

  We walked
hand in hand back down the hallway, the smile on her face was priceless. Her happiness meant more to me than my own.

  “What do you want to do first?” I asked her as we walked through Downtown Disney toward the park entrances.

  “The Teacups. I love those, I can't help but laugh hysterically on them.”

  “I think we can make that happen.”

  I had only ever been to Disney World, never here, and seeing it through her eyes was like magic. I planned on spoiling her rotten in the next three days. I wanted to fulfill all of the dreams she had as a kid.

  “How did you know I wanted this?” She tipped her chin up to look at me while we stood in line.

  “You mentioned wanting to go a while ago. Then I talked to Frank and arranged our days off, and he told me you had always wanted to stay at one of the hotels. So, I made it happen. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. You know that right?”

  “I do. You make me happier than I have ever been.”

  “That’s the idea sweets.” I kissed her.

  When it was finally our turn, she picked a bright pink teacup for us, and we slid inside.

  “How fast do you want to go?” I grinned wickedly.

  “The faster the better.”

  We started to move, and I cranked the wheel as hard as I could. I watched her as she giggled uncontrollably. This was magic right here. In this moment I believed in magic and happily ever after.

  “Oh my gosh, that was so much fun,” she laughed, her cheeks and nose pink.

  I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her into my chest. Her mouth was slightly parted from laughing, and her eyes sparkled with amusement. I brought my mouth down to hers, because I wanted to see what her laughter tasted like.

  “Hey, none of that.” She pushed me away with a laugh. “This is a family place.”

  “I’m allowed to kiss my girlfriend on her birthday.”

  “Yeah, you’re allowed to kiss me, but I know where that was going.” She pointed a finger at me.

  “I was being good. We have all night to be bad.” I winked.

  Our next stop was to get Scarlet an ‘It’s my Birthday’ button from the City Hall building. She was totally embarrassed about it but I thought it was hilarious. Everyone kept telling her happy birthday.

  “Do you want to watch a parade?” she asked later in the day.