Score!
Page 1
About the Book
Sir Roberto Rannaldini, the most successful but detested conductor in the world, had two ambitions: to seduce his ravishing nineteen-year-old stepdaughter, Tabitha Campbell-Black, and to put his mark on musical history by making the definitive film of Verdi’s darkest opera, Don Carlos.
As Rannaldini, Tristan, his charismatic French director, a volatile cast and bolshy French crew gather at Rannaldini's haunted abbey for filming, it is inevitable that violent feuds, abandoned bonking, temperamental screaming, and devious plotting will ensue. But although everyone wished Rannaldini dead, no one actually thought the Maestro would be murdered. Or that after the dreadful deed some very bizarre things would continue to occur.
Score! is Jilly Cooper’s most thrilling novel to date.
Jilly Cooper
SCORE!
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SCORE!
A CORGI BOOK : 9780552156363
First published in Great Britain in 2000 by Bantam Pressa division of Transworld Publishers
Corgi edition published 2000
Corgi edition reissued 2007
Copyright © Jilly Cooper 1999
Jilly Cooper has asserted her right under the Copyright,
Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
This book is a work of fiction and, except in the case of historical fact, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
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Table of Contents
Cover
About the Book
Title
Copyright
About the Author
By Jilly Cooper
Dedication
Cast of Characters
The Animals
Don Carlos: The Initial Cast of the Film
Map
Overture 1977
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
Chapter 68
Chapter 69
Chapter 70
Chapter 71
Chapter 72
Chapter 73
Chapter 74
Chapter 75
Chapter 76
Chapter 77
Chapter 78
Chapter 79
Chapter 80
Chapter 81
Chapter 82
Chapter 83
Chapter 84
Chapter 85
Chapter 86
Chapter 87
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Jilly Cooper is a journalist, writer and media superstar. The author of many number one bestselling novels, she lives in Gloucestershire with her husband Leo, her rescue greyhound Feather and her black cat Feral.
She was appointed OBE in 2004 for services to literature, and in 2009 was awarded an honorary Doctorate of Letters by the University of Gloucestershire for her contribution to literature and services to the County.
Find out more about Jilly Cooper at her website www.jillycooper.co.uk
By Jilly Cooper
FICTION
RIDERS
RIVALS
POLO
THE MAN WHO MADE HUSBANDS JEALOUS
APPASSIONATA
SCORE!
PANDORA
WICKED!
JUMP!
NON-FICTION
ANIMALS IN WAR
CLASS
HOW TO SURVIVE CHRISTMAS
HOTFOOT TO ZABRISKIE POINT (with Patrick Lichfield)
INTELLIGENT AND LOYAL
JOLLY MARSUPIAL
JOLLY SUPER
JOLLY SUPERLATIVE
JOLLY SUPER TOO
SUPER COOPER
SUPER JILLY
SUPER MEN AND SUPER WOMEN
THE COMMON YEARS
TURN RIGHT AT THE SPOTTED DOG
WORK AND WEDLOCK
ANGELS RUSH IN
ARAMINTA’S WEDDING
CHILDREN’S BOOKS
LITTLE MABEL
LITTLE MABEL’S GREAT ESCAPE
LITTLE MABEL SAVES THE DAY
LITTLE MABEL WINS
ROMANCE
BELLA
EMILY
HARRIET
IMOGEN
LISA & CO
OCTAVIA
PRUDENCE
ANTHOLOGIES
THE BRITISH IN LOVE
VIOLETS AND VINEGAR
To Ann Mills,
dearest of friends,
with love and gratitude.
CAST OF CHARACTERS
JAMES BENSON A very smooth, extremely expensive private doctor.
BETTY One of Rannaldini’s pretty maids.
TEDDY BRIMSCOMBE Rannaldini’s head gardener, renowned for his green fingers and
wandering hands.
MRS BRIMSCOMBE Rannaldini’s long-suffering housekeeper.
MR BROWN An Australian racehorse owner.
MISS BUSSAGE Rannaldini’s PA – a gorgon.
RUPERT CAMPBELL-BLACK Multi-millionaire owner/trainer, ex-Olympic show jumper and Minister for Sport. Director of Venturer Television. Still Mecca for most women.
TAGGIE CAMPBELL-BLACK His adored second wife – an angel.
MARCUS CAMPBELL-BLACK Rupert’s son by his first marriage, recent winner of the Appleton International piano competition.
TABITHA CAMPBELL-BLACK Mistress of the Horse for Don Carlos. Rupert’s estranged daughter from his rider.
XAVIER CAMPBELL-BLACK Rupert and Taggie’s adopted Colombian son.
BIANCA CAMPBELL-BLACK Rupert and Taggie’s adopted Colombian daughter.
EDDIE CAMPBELL-BLACK Rupert’s father, five times married and raring to go. A sexual buccaneer of the old school.
BRUCE CASSIDY Belegauered press officer for Don Carlos. Inevitably nicknamed ‘Hype-along’.
CHLOE CATFORD Mellifluous mezzo soprano, and compilation queen. Sings Princess Eboli in Don Carlos Significant Other Woman in several marriages.
GIUSEPPE CAVALLI Capricious Italian bass, the ghost of the Emperor Charles V in Don Carlos. The inamorato of Granville Hastings, he sings like an angel and drinks like a fish.
LADY CHISLEDON A pillar of Paradise.
CLIVE Rannaldini’s sinister leatherclad henchman.
MISS CRICKLADE Paradise village busybody.
HOWIE DENSTON Artist’s agent and ghastly creep who runs London office of Shepherd Denston, toughest music agents in New York.
DIZZY Rupert Campbell-Black’s comely head groom.
DETECTIVE SERGEANT KEVIN FANSHAWE Rutminster CID smoothie and new-style catcher of villains.
FLORENCE Hortense de Montigny’s ancient retainer.
CHRISTY FOXE Indefatigable PA during recording of Don Carlos.
DETECTIVE SERGEANT TIMOTHY GABLECROSS Old-style catcher of villains.
BERNARD GUÉRIN Battle-scarred veteran. First assistant director, Don Carlos, Tristan de Montigny’s droit-hand man, who acts as sergeant major keeping order on the set.
DAME HERMIONE HAREFIELD World-famous diva and Rannaldini’s mistress. Seriously tiresome, brings out Crippen in all.
BOB HAREFIELD Her charming, mostly absentee husband, longterm lover of Meredith Whalen.
LITTLE COSMO HAREFIELD Hermione’s fiendish nine-year-old son. Could give lessons to Damien in The Omen.
EULALIA HARRISON A frumpy feature writer.
GRANVILLE ‘GRANNY’ HASTINGS English bass, singing the Grand Inquisitor in Don Carlos. Outwardly cosy old pussy-cat.
LYSANDER HAWKLEY Formerly a man who made husbands jealous, now happily married to Rannaldini’s third wife Kitty. Rupert Campbell-Black’s assistant.
THE REV. PERCIVAL HILLARY A portly parson, who confines his pastoral visits to drinks time.
GEORGE HUNGERFORD An extremely successful property developer, chief executive of Rutminster Symphony Orchestra. Live-in lover of Flora Seymour.
JANICE Rannaldini’s head groom.
JESSICA Ravishing production secretary, Don Carlos.
BEATTIE JOHNSON A seductive, totally unprincipled journalist.
SEXTON KEMP An extremely fly East End film producer. Chief Executive of Liberty Productions, who are making Don Carlos.
LUCY LATIMER Make-up artist on Don Carlos. Still centre and agony aunt to entire cast and crew.
CLAUDINE LAUZERTE Actress and Gallic goddess, married to a French government minister.
DETECTIVE CONSTABLE LIGHTFOOT Eager young constable, traumatized by steamy stint at the 1991 Valhalla orgy.
ISA LOVELL A brilliant, obsessive jump jockey. A Heathcliff of the gallops.
JAKE LOVELL His father, ex-world show jumping champion. Now National Hunt trainer.
TORY LOVELL Isa’s mother and Jake’s wife – loving and super-efficient, a hard act for a daughter-in-law to follow.
MARIA An ace cook.
DETECTIVE CONSTABLE DEBBIE MILLER A pulchritudinous policewoman.
COLIN MILTON Once-great tenor now playing Count Lerma, the Spanish ambassador in Don Carlos. Old sweetie, eminently bullyable.
ÉTIENNE DE MONTIGNY France’s greatest painter and national hero.
ALEXANDRE DE MONTIGNY Étienne’s pompous eldest son, a judge.
HORTENSE DE MONTIGNY Étienne’s sister – a blue-blooded battle-axe.
SIMONE DE MONTIGNY Étienne’s granddaughter and Alexandre’s daughter. In charge of continuity, Don Carlos.
TRISTAN DE MONTIGNY Étienne’s youngest son and Rannaldini’s godson. Director, Don Carlos.
DETECTIVE CONSTABLE KAREN NEEDHAM The belle of the Bill.
OGBORNE Chief grip, Don Carlos.
LORD (DECLAN) O’HARA OF PENSCOMBE Recently ennobled television megastar, managing director of Venturer Television and Rupert Campbell-Black’s father-in-law.
VIKING O’NEILL Golden boy and first horn of Rutminster Symphony Orchestra.
OSCAR Deceptively indolent director of photography, Don Carlos.
FRANCO PALMIERI Vast and vastly famous Italian tenor, playing the title role in Don Carlos.
MIKHAIL PEZCHEROV Lovable but rather base baritone, playing the Marquis of Posa in Don Carlos
LARA PEZCHEROV Mikhail’s adored wife.
DETECTIVE CHIEF INSPECTOR GERALD PORTLAND Admin king and limelight hogger, Rutminster CID.
ROZZY PRINGLE Exquisite-voiced soprano playing Tebaldo the page in Don Carlos. Worn down by overwork and importunate family.
GLYN PRINGLE Rozzy’s husband – an accomplished drone.
PUSHY GALORE An ambitious and irritatingly good-looking member of the Don Carlos chorus. Real name Gloria Prescott.
CECILIA RANNALDINI Italian soprano and world-famous diva. Rannaldini’s feisty second wife.
SIR ROBERTO RANNALDINI Mega maestro and archfiend, with musical directorships in Berlin, New York and Tokyo. Co-producing Don Carlos.
LADY (HELEN) RANNALDINI Rannaldini’s fourth wife and Rupert Campbell-Black’s first wife, devoted mother of Marcus and less so of Tabitha. A legendary American beauty.
WOLFGANG RANNALDINI Rannaldini’s son from his first marriage. Little Hitler exterior hides heart of gold. Former boyfriend of Flora Seymour.
SALLY Another of Rannaldini’s pretty maids.
FLORA SEYMOUR Soprano and viola player and former wild child, traumatized by teenage affaire with Rannaldini, now living with George Hungerford.
ALPHEUS P. SHAW World-famous American bass, singing Philip II in Don Carlos. Splendidlooking, but pompous sexual predator.
CHERYL SHAW Alpheus’s justifiably jealous wife. Great tree and social climber.
DETECTIVE CONSTABLE SMITHSON A very PC DC.
BABY SPINOSISSIMO Dazzling Australian tenor and sexual buccaneer of the modern school.
CHIEF CONSTABLE SWALLOW A Rutshire god, and friend of Lady Rannaldini and Dame Hermione.
SYLVESTRE Sound engineer, Don Carlos. Man of few words but countless deeds.
SYLVIA Glyn Pringle’s housekeeper.
VALENTIN Charismatic camera operator, Don Carlos. Oscar’s son-in-law.
LADY GRISELDA WALLACE Wardrobe mistress, Don Carlos. Nervous-breakdown van always on call during production.
SERENA WESTWOOD Record producer of Don Carlos. Cool, competent beauty.
JESSIE WESTWOOD Serena’s four-year-old daughter.
MEREDITH WHALEN Set designer, Don Carlos. Highly expensive interior designer. Known as the Ideal Homo, because he’s so much in demand as spare man at dinner parties.
THE ANIMALS
THE ENGINEER Tabitha Campbell-Black’s event horse.
GERTRUDE Taggie Campbell-Black’s mongrel.
JAMES Lucy Latimer’s rescued lurcher.
PEPPY KOALA An Australian wonder horse.
THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS Rannaldini’s vicious and generally victorious National Hunt hors
e.
SARASTRO Rannaldini’s cat.
SHARON Tabitha Campbell-Black’s yellow Labrador, later has walk-on part as the Grand Inquisitor’s guide dog.
TABLOID Rannaldini’s Rottweiler.
TREVOR Flora Seymour’s rescued terrier.
DON CARLOS
THE INITIAL CAST OF THE FILM
PHILIP II, KING OF SPAIN Alpheus P. Shaw
DON CARLOS, INFANTE OF SPAIN ‘Fat Franco’ Palmieri
ELIZABETH DE VALOIS, PRINCESS OF FRANCE Hermione Harefield
TEBALDO, ELIZABETH’S PAGE Rozzy Pringle
PRINCESS EBOLI, A SPANISH LADY-IN-WAITING Chloe Catford
RODRIGO, MARQUIS OF POSA FRIEND OF DON CARLOS To be filled
THE GRAND INQUISITOR Granville ‘Granny’ Hastings
THE GHOST OF THE EMPEROR CHARLES V Giuseppe Cavalli
COUNT LERMA, THE SPANISH AMBASSADOR TO FRANCE Colin Milton
OVERTURE 1977
Many men hated Roberto Rannaldini. Many women, after loving him passionately, hated him even more. To be regarded at twenty-eight as the most exciting conductor since the war had necessitated brutal trampling on the way up. But at least Rannaldini could count on the unqualified love of his ten-year-old godson, Tristan de Montigny. To Tristan, the dashing maestro, with his suave, catlike smile, his deep, caressing voice, and his recklessly fast cars, was the most glamorous person in the world.
Most importantly Rannaldini had been a friend of Tristan’s mother, who had died when Tristan was a baby, and was the only person prepared to satisfy the boy’s craving for information about her.
‘She was so beautiful, so sweet, so proud of you, Tristan, and she love you so much. Her death happen in moment of madness, when she feel she cannot cope, and was unworthy of your father.’
Tristan’s father, Étienne de Montigny, was France’s most illustrious painter. He was revered for his portraits and landscapes but most famous for his erotic paintings, many of which, Salome’s Ecstasy, The Rape of Lucrece and more recently David and Jonathan, hung in the great galleries of the world, elevating near-pornography to an art form.
Étienne, outwardly a laughing giant of a man, had spawned a pack of children from three wives and numerous mistresses. Twelve years ago, when he was sixty, he had met Rannaldini, newly arrived in Paris to make his fortune as a conductor. The two had struck up a rapport, and Étienne had taken the handsome, impossibly precocious teenager under his wing. In return Rannaldini had not only milked Étienne’s contacts but also posed for him.