Alaska Secrets

by Sarah Varland

  There he went again, taking her teasing somewhere...well somewhere she wasn’t quite sure she was brave enough to go. If she’d wondered if he still had feelings for her... It seemed like yes.

  She was suddenly aware of how close to her he was sitting, the way he was leaning forward, their faces only a foot or so apart as he gave her directions about the boots. Not that she wanted to do anything with their proximity. One accidental kiss was enough for her. But knowing he was right there gave her a heady feeling, made her feel like she couldn’t quite think straight.

  “Thanks.” She offered a small smile. “For the reassurance.”

  “Anytime.” And the look in his eyes said he’d always be there. For anything she needed.

  Ellie swallowed hard.

  Boots. They were talking about boots. She reached for them, he handed them to her, and she pulled them on. It took some effort to get her feet into them, but she wiggled them in.

  “Wrap them around. Yes, like that. Wrap them around your leg again, and one more time. Yes. Then tie them.”

  They looked like a cross between moccasins, winter boots and ballet shoes with long ribbons, and her feet had never been this warm in her entire life. They were a little roomy, even with the extra liners Seth had added, but she could see his point.

  He was looking at her like he knew that already, face slightly amused, mouth quirked into a smile. He’d always taken care of her so well, anticipated what she’d need before she did. He had been the kind of fiancé who’d made sure the oil in her car was always changed, that her gas tank was full. She’d taken him for granted and it overwhelmed her now with regret. She blinked back tears.

  He’d given her everything she’d ever wanted. And she’d walked away because of fear.

  Seth had already stood, seeming this one time not to know exactly what she was thinking. Or maybe he did and he was giving her space.

  Either way, he spoke up, breaking the moment.

  “Now, grab your coat, and let’s go make a dog musher out of you.”

  SIX

  When they stepped outside, the yard came alive. His dogs had been curled up on top of their houses, or beside them—it wasn’t nearly cold enough for them to want to be inside right now—until they saw him step out. Now they were all standing, barking in a crazy chorus, determined to make the most noise possible to assure that they got chosen for the team.

  Seth looked around, uneasily considering the woods around his property.

  A crack split the air.

  “Get down!” he yelled, even as he searched for the location of the threat. It was broad daylight, and they weren’t too far from town, but clearly whoever was after him had no qualms about attacking.

  He looked beside him. Ellie was still standing.

  “Ellie!” His heart pounded in his chest.

  She shook her head. Pointed. “It was a tree, Seth. A tree fell.”

  Seth fought to calm his breathing, calling himself every kind of fool for overreacting. Nothing had been wrong.

  But it could have been. And if there had been a threat...

  Well, she hadn’t gotten down when he’d said to. That didn’t bode well.

  “You need to be extremely careful. Listen to me and do what I say, even if it doesn’t make sense.”

  “I have the boots on, don’t I? I get that you’re the dog mushing guy. I’ll listen. But I saw the tree. I knew it was fine.”

  It was all he could do to keep going with this plan when he looked at her and saw everything he’d lost years ago. She’d only gotten more beautiful, though something about her seemed more fragile than it had back then. The awareness that life could change in a heartbeat had probably changed her. It added a layer of vulnerability. He hated that she’d experienced circumstances that had broken her—his sister’s death had nearly broken him—but perhaps it had humbled her like it had him. Still, every change about her made her more attractive to him.

  Her attractiveness had nothing to do with his concern about her and not wanting her to be hurt. That had much more to do with how much he enjoyed her company as a person. He’d somehow minimized it in the last few years, convinced himself that they hadn’t been that close, that maybe what they had shared hadn’t been real love.

  He’d been wrong. No one had known him like Ellie Hardison, and he’d certainly never loved anyone the way he’d loved her.

  Still loved her...despite the way she’d hurt him.

  “Just keep an eye out, okay?” he tried again. “The woods, the open space...”

  She nodded. “I know, Seth. Situational awareness was a topic at the police academy.” Her words were gentle, but he’d needed the reminder that as fragile as she might look, she wasn’t. She was trained for this. If anything, he should probably be worried about his safety.

  But wasn’t that what love did? Make you care about someone so much that you lost a bit of your capability for rational thought?

  He didn’t still love her, did he?

  As soon as he wondered it, he knew the answer. He did still love her. With everything in his heart.

  He looked over at her, dressed in her winter gear, ready to learn. He’d seen her in so many different circumstances, different roles, and she was just as beautiful to him in all of them.

  How did a man ignore something like that? If he moved too fast, tried to get her back too quickly, he’d scare her away. She’d left for a reason and he still wasn’t clear on what that was, didn’t get the impression that she was ready to talk about it yet.

  Seth took a breath. Reminded himself to go slow.

  “First off, listen to that barking.” He made himself focus on the lesson.

  “I definitely hear the barking.” She had to raise her voice to be heard above it.

  “That’s because they all want to run. Lesson number one is that the dogs love this, so don’t let anyone tell you they don’t. Look at them.” He motioned toward the yard with his hand, took in the sights as she would be seeing them. Dogs standing up with wagging tails, excitedly jumping around, eyes alert, sparkling.

  “I can definitely see that.”

  “Today we’re going to run six dogs.”

  “Each? Or will I be by myself?”

  “You’re not quite there yet,” he said with a smile, knowing that if she was like he had been, she might assume that six dogs weren’t a very powerful team. When the guy who’d taught him had started Seth out with four, he’d been downright offended, and then he’d seen how fast those dogs could run. Seth wanted to be on the sled with her, partially because he’d almost lost his sled and dogs the first time he’d gone out alone, and partially because he didn’t want the two of them separated quite yet. He’d been attacked only yesterday. And if this was about Liz, Ellie would be in as much danger as he was, since she was involved, too. The thought of someone attacking her...it made him want to put his fist through a wall. He wouldn’t—couldn’t—let anything happen to her. Maybe if nothing went wrong today and it looked like the danger had lessened somewhat, he’d be more comfortable with some space between them.

  But right now, space was the last thing he wanted. He couldn’t get close enough to her, couldn’t spend enough time with her to make up for the emptiness in his life these last few years.

  “So how does this work?” She’d walked over to his sled and had picked up the line, examining it.

  “This is a gangline.”

  “Okay.” She nodded, and he could almost see her brain filing the information, categorizing it for later. He loved how her mind worked, how methodical she was.

  He pointed to the very end of the gangline, the end nearest the sled. “See these two long ropes?”

  She nodded.

  “These are tuglines. They attach to the harness, at the end. A couple feet that way are the necklines.”

  “The smaller ones attach
ed to the gangline?”

  He smiled and nodded. “Yes.”

  They worked on harnessing next, and while she fumbled with the first dog or two, by the time they were working with the next few, she’d gotten the hang of it.

  By the time she was standing on the sled in front of him and he was ready to go, he was feeling confident about this plan.

  “Keep your foot on the brake,” he said to her, wrapping one arm around her as he held on to the handlebar. It was for practicality’s sake only, he told himself. Nothing to do with enjoying the proximity to Ellie. He reached down and pulled the snow hook out of the ground that he’d been using to keep the team stopped in place.

  “Ready? Foot off the brake, El. All right.”

  He’d given them permission to do what they’d been wanting—run. And run they did, down the packed trail, out of the dog yard and into the woods.

  They were avoiding the trails he’d run yesterday, and staying much closer to town. He wasn’t willing to risk a repeat of yesterday, especially with Ellie with him. Shadows of spruce trees, thickly wooded areas that he usually thought of as beautiful, made him tense now. Every movement of a branch and he wondered if a sniper was behind it, instead of a bird or maybe a moose. Seth was on full alert, desperate to keep Ellie out of danger.

  She was quiet the first few minutes and then finally laughed, sounding a little breathless. “Wow, what a rush! I can’t believe how loud they are and ready to go, and then all the sudden they’re quiet like that?”

  He smiled, even though she couldn’t see him. One of the best parts of mushing was that overwhelming quiet once the dogs focused on the job at hand and were happy to be working.

  Maybe that was why he’d taken to mushing like he had. He’d walked away from his corporate job in Anchorage when Liz had died. The city had seemed empty without her. Overwhelming at the same time. He’d wanted space so he’d taken his savings and gone to Raven Pass. He made enough now with dog mushing sponsors and giving tours to tourists to feed himself and the dogs. Mushing gave him a focus, a purpose. Without it, he’d have been like an unoccupied husky—destructive.

  “Gee,” he called to the dogs, directing them to take a trail that veered off to the right. “Lean,” he said to Ellie.

  “Into the turn or the opposite?”

  He’d never stopped to think about it. He just moved his body with the sled, like it and he and the dog team were one entity, running together. Now he had to pay attention to his body in order to give her the answer.

  “You kind of shift into it, but not too much. Just be conscious of what you do with your weight, and try to work with the team instead of against them, but be ready to be a counterweight if the sled starts to tip.”

  She nodded. “Okay. What else are you going to teach me?”

  “Shh.” He smiled to himself. “You’re learning right now. Just pay attention.”

  When he’d learned, it had driven him crazy that his mentor hadn’t said much to him or the dogs. Seth had been desperate for more details, for some kind of how-to manual, but instead the man had just mushed on, with Seth with him. When situations arose—a dog got tangled, or there was a moose in the trail and they had to stop—he let Seth watch him handle the dogs and help him; without realizing it, Seth had learned.

  Ellie, however, was so analytical that he knew she’d want more details later. Maybe they’d sit down and he’d write down some instructions for her to review. She’d need to learn fast; if they could get on to one of the expeditions Raven Pass Expeditions was leading, it would likely be soon. The snow season started to be unpredictable before long here, and they couldn’t risk dog mushing being taken off the list of excursions. He wasn’t sure what other options they’d have to go undercover that would serve so well.

  Movement in the distance caught his eye and his body tensed. He stepped closer to Ellie, almost subconsciously, felt his arm muscles tense.

  The shape moved and he blew out a breath. A moose. It was only a moose.

  Still no sign of human danger. Seth kept scanning their surroundings, anyway.

  “When we get back and get the dogs put away—” he spoke again, probably an hour into their mostly quiet ride “—I think we should go try to get the jobs.”

  “You think I can pass for a dog musher already?”

  “You still have a lot to learn, but I think it’s enough to get the job.” At least, he hoped it was. They stayed quiet again, and Seth took his eyes off the trail just for a second to look at Ellie, leaning his head to the side to get a better view of the side of her face.

  She was so focused, but she looked relaxed. She was special—he’d always known it—but he felt like today he just kept being reminded.

  How could he have let this woman get away in the past? Or had her leaving had nothing to do with him?

  Was it wrong to hope this could be some kind of second chance, that God was giving him a do-over? He could dream, couldn’t he?

  No, probably not. First, he hadn’t seen much of God’s involvement in his life lately. He wasn’t going to say God had abandoned him but there was an absence he wasn’t used to feeling.

  Also, it wasn’t like he had time to woo Ellie. Instead he’d be dragging her into tracking smugglers, going undercover to try to find some dangerous criminals. It was his idea to apply to RPE, so he felt he bore responsibility for the risks.

  He hoped she wouldn’t suffer because of his plan. Liz.

  This had been brought on by the knowledge that they were all part of this, had been since Liz wrote that letter and mailed it off, referring to both him and Ellie. And Ellie had put herself in more danger by coming back into contact with him—to get justice for the woman they both missed.

  Neither of them would be able to sleep without fear ever again if this threat weren’t dealt with.

  That’s why he was willing to take this risk. Seth only hoped it would pay off.

  * * *

  Later, after Seth showed her how put the dogs away, they were walking toward the entrance to Raven Pass Expeditions. She’d gone home to shower and change and could only hope she looked the part enough to be convincing. What did dog mushers wear to ask for a job? Ellie didn’t have the slightest clue. She should have asked Seth, but she hadn’t and now it was too late.

  Just thinking about him made her head feel fuzzy. Several times today she felt like they’d danced back over the “friends” line into something more. She had to tell herself it didn’t matter, that it was natural that she’d have feelings for someone she was once engaged to. That didn’t mean she deserved his love. If she’d taken the threats against Liz more seriously, he wouldn’t have lost his sister. There was no way to spin this so she didn’t have some fault in it, and she couldn’t face his rejection once he fully realized that.

  So she’d left before he could break up with her. And she needed to remember that.

  Also, she was exhausted. She hadn’t paid much attention this morning to what Seth did after a run, but now that she was supposed to be learning, she’d focused on every step of the process.

  When he’d stopped the sled, he’d put the snow hook in the ground, then petted each individual dog on the head. He talked to them, too, and Ellie would have thought he’d be embarrassed that she was seeing him talk to dogs, but he acted like it was the most natural thing in the world. It just made her more attracted to him. He had no idea how sweet he was, how genuinely nice and how attractive those qualities were.

  Then he’d fed a slice of frozen meat to each one. Watching the dogs lunge for the snacks had been entertaining. After that, he’d unharnessed the dogs and hooked them back up to their tethers. Some dogs he stood with for a minute and rubbed them down further with his hands, massaging the muscles they’d been using.

  Ellie had watched him just long enough to learn the ropes and then had jumped in. She’d made a couple mistakes. Unharn
essing took her forever as she kept putting the legs through the wrong holes at first. And one dog she’d hooked in the wrong place to a house that wasn’t his, and Seth had had to correct her. But for the most part, she felt like she was learning. And working together with Seth, as part of a team, felt like what had been missing in her life. She’d missed being someone’s other half. Someone’s partner.

  She’d missed Seth.

  She was going to sleep better than ever tonight. The idea of doing this job for a multiday expedition was wearying. But she still thought this was their best chance, and she wanted to try. She’d do anything to find the men who’d harmed Liz.

  “Sure you’re up for it?” he asked her as he reached for the door to the RPE headquarters. His grin was casual and easy, but she could read the wariness in his clear blue eyes. He was concerned for her safety. She squared her shoulders and smiled back at him.

  “I’m up for it.”

  Still, he hesitated. Ellie reached for the handle and pulled it open. A bell chimed.

  “Hi, welcome to RPE. How can we help you adventure today?” a perky blonde woman behind the counter asked, her hair swinging in a ponytail.

  Ellie had to school her features, keep them relaxed. The truth was, she was thrown off a little. She’d been braced for a place that reeked of having something to hide, if this adventure company was little more than a front for drug smuggling. But instead she had the opposite feeling. The room was decorated in kind of a trendy, outdoorsy style and had an energetic vibe.

  Getting underneath RPE’s friendly exterior was going to be a challenge. For half a second, Ellie wondered if Liz had been wrong, but her logic was sound. It was at the very least someone who worked in one of the businesses in this strip mall three years ago. But Ellie was also aware that appearances could be deceiving. And the idea of someone smuggling drugs on the exact route this company took people on adventures?

  Well, Ellie didn’t believe in coincidences.

  “I’m Seth Calloway.” Seth stuck out his hand and the blonde woman shook it, her eyebrows raised in interest. “And this is Ellie Hamilton.”