Defiance Falls War: Defiance Falls Book 3

by Dean, Ali

  After a beat, I leaned down closer, so he couldn’t escape me. “Cruz, what happened?”

  He swallowed. “I think I did forget,” he whispered. He looked for a reaction from me, but I wouldn’t give him one. Not yet. “When Spike said all that, it came back into focus. It wasn’t this foggy cloud anymore.”

  “Foggy cloud?” I needed him to spell it out.

  He was starting to lose patience; I could tell by the bite in his tone when he answered. “Look, I don’t know if I had temporary memory loss.” Both of our eyes widened at those words. Memory loss. “The doctors said that can happen with a TBI. It could have been that, but it wasn’t like it had been a total black hole, so honestly? I think it was like a denial. My head knew it could remember the details but it didn’t feel like dealing with it just yet. When I was forced to, I think my head just shut down, it was too exhausted.”

  My lips parted but I held back from what I really wanted to say. Instead, I told him, “That must have been scary.” I was referring to all of it – the lack of clear memory, the disorientation, the overwhelming need to rest, zone out – but mostly, coming back to the reality that was his. He could never escape it. This was the life he’d been born into, the only one he was getting. He might have been able to forget about it, or pretend to forget about it, for a day or two, but it was still waiting for him, the good and the bad.

  “You think that’s what it’s like for my dad?” Cruz asked. “Remembering over and over again that his wife’s dead, that she was murdered. Forgetting, feeling disoriented, having that cloud of uncertainty about what’s real and what’s not, and then boom, clarity again.”

  “It’s fleeting for him, though, isn’t it? Sometimes he believes she’s still with him now. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.”

  “Maybe. Maybe I shouldn’t remind him. I wonder sometimes if I should stay away so he doesn’t have to.”

  “You know that’s not why you wanted to stay away, Cruz.” I wouldn’t let him be in denial on this one. No, when it came to his dad he needed to face the truth. He didn’t have time for anything else and I knew if he waited to face it until his dad was gone, he’d regret it.

  “Yeah, it’s not the same thing. I know that.”

  “Besides, your dad’s reality isn’t all sad. His wife might be gone, but he’s got you. Her family’s company is still here, like she wanted. And well, you’re pretty great,” I added, knowing how lame it sounded, but wanting him to understand that he still mattered to his dad. His dad still needed him, and he still brought good, even if he was a reminder of Laura Donovan too.

  Cruz moved our hands to his heart. “Come here.”

  I leaned down, knowing what he wanted. Our lips brushed. His tongue swiped out to taste my lower lip. “You’re right here. But I’ve missed having you all to myself,” he told me.

  “You have me now.”

  Cruz’s hands moved from mine, but only so he could move one to the curve of my hip, the other to the nape of my neck. He pulled me closer, plunging his tongue deeper as he did. A moan escaped and my hips moved instinctively, pressing into him.

  My hand pushed on his chest though. “Cruz, we can’t.”

  “Huh?” His voice was thick with need and his eyes were half-lidded as he continued to grip my waist.

  “Your head. Your injury. You just got out of the hospital.”

  “Hazel.” His voice begged me to shut up and give in, and I wanted to. Oh, I wanted to. But my mind flashed to him lying there asleep when I first came in, to his eyes fluttering shut only minutes later when the guys entered.

  “I don’t want you to pass out on me, or get a bad headache, Cruz. We need you better. You must be exhausted.”

  “I need you, Hazel, I need this.”

  There was a war in my chest as I struggled not to roll my hips again, not to react to his body underneath me. The firmness I felt growing beneath me. He brought his lips to mine again, reaching for another kiss, that connection I couldn’t deny.

  “You can do all the work. I’ll just lie here. I promise.”

  Cruz lifted his hips up, showing how easily he could slide inside of me. I groaned. And then I gave in. Not without shooting him a meaningful look of disapproval.

  “You’re going straight to bed after this,” I scolded. “The doctors said no physical activity.”

  He put his hands up in surrender and I pulled off my shorts and panties. “I’m just lying here. It’d take more effort to rub this out.” He gestured to the tent in his shorts.

  “Uh-huh. Wouldn’t want you to slow your recovery from moving your hand up and down.”

  “What? It takes concentration. I have to focus. When I’m with you I use less brain energy. I swear.”

  “Cruz, stop talking.” I went for his waistband. “Lift your hips.” He did, and I tugged down his shorts, freeing him.

  “I’m just making a case. I don’t want you to feel guilty. But you’re actually helping my recovery if you ride me until I come.”

  I was climbing back over him and my hand went up to cover my face to hide the laughter I was fighting. “Cruz, I don’t feel guilty.”

  Lining him up at my entrance I started to ease him inside me but he grabbed my hips, stopping me halfway. “Condom,” he panted out.

  “Don’t have one.”

  His eyes nearly popped out of his sockets and he cursed, going from playful to panicked just like that. I contemplated toying with him but decided now would be a really bad time for that. “I’ve been on birth control awhile, Cruz.”

  He nodded. I nodded. And then I lowered myself all the way down.

  Cruz groaned when we were fully connected. “This. Feels. Too. Good.” He breathed out each word and I let him get ahold of himself before rising back up and gliding down again.

  “It’s my first time having this,” I told him. “Bare. No condom,” I clarified, knowing it wasn’t the kind of first he’d been hoping for, but it was something.

  His hands settled around my hips and he guided me as I rocked in a slow rhythm. It had to be slow if I wanted this to last.

  I was hoping for a response from him, some sort of affirmation, and what I got moved me closer to the edge. “There won’t be anyone else, Hazel. You’re it for me. We’re it for each other. You know that now, don’t you?”

  Cruz’s dark eyes were so dilated they were nearly black, and if I hadn’t suspected it already I’d know right then and there that orgasms definitely had an emotional element. At least for me. This connection between us was palpable, and there was no comparison to the guys I’d been with before Cruz. His love for me, his loyalty, and even the sacrifices he’d made that tore me apart, it all filled me up. Made my skin hot from the inside out. I was on fire for him.

  “Hazel,” he said as my eyes started to close, losing myself to the fullness of him inside of me, the emotions overflowing with the delicious buildup in my center.

  I opened my eyes wide enough to see him, and recognized he wanted words. “No one else, Cruz. You’re it for me. We’re it for each other.”

  That must have been what he needed because he took over then, thrusting up into me at the same time as he pulled my hips down with his hands.

  His forehead wrinkled in concentration, the look I now knew meant he was close, but didn’t want to finish before me. But I also knew I was close and that when I watched him, felt him inside me, I’d go with him.

  “Come in me, Cruz.”

  “Yeah?” he asked, like he still couldn’t believe this was happening.

  “Don’t hold back. I want to feel you.”

  He slammed into me harder than I thought possible from a guy lying on his back. From a guy discharged hours earlier with a traumatic brain injury. My body bounced on top of him, trying to keep up with his powerful thrusts.

  When I felt him expand inside me, I couldn’t help the sounds flowing from me as I shattered. Our little world in that tree house broke apart, warmth filling me everywhere as I felt him shooting inside
me. It was like a true explosion beyond my body, my heart opening and swallowing him up whole, body and soul. I wanted to keep him inside me forever. Safe. Where no one could touch us.

  Before we’d even come down though, the music playing from my phone was cut off by the ring tone. My eyes shot to the phone, and I saw Dad’s name appearing on the screen. My heart jumped to my throat. Dad had spent all his time this week with investigators and lawyers. He’d always preferred texting me, unless it was urgent.

  “You should answer that, Haze,” Cruz said from beneath me.

  I swallowed, but kept myself straddled on top of Cruz as I reached for the cell.

  “Dad?”

  “Hey sweetheart,” he answered and my shoulders immediately relaxed at the sound of his voice.

  “What’s up?” He sounded normal, fine, like himself.

  “I got done early and haven’t seen you in a few days. You’re back in Defiance Falls, right?”

  I felt Cruz watching me and I gave him a reassuring smile. This was just Dad, coming out of a work binge and wanting to see his daughter. All was good.

  “Yeah, we’re at Mitch’s place.”

  “I’ll come get you. Twenty minutes okay?”

  “Yeah, but Dad, Cruz needs a babysitter,” I explained, fighting laughter as Cruz squeezed my sides. “So, can he spend the night at our place?”

  Dad hesitated a moment. If he knew that Cruz was growing hard again already inside me as we spoke, he might have answered differently. But I’d be eighteen in a couple weeks anyway, and Dad knew that if anyone was going to be babysitting Cruz overnight, it’d be me.

  “How long does he need a sitter?” he asked, unwilling to agree outright.

  “Just three nights.”

  “Fine, just three nights then.” I grinned at this response. We were both pretending like Dad had a say here.

  “See you soon, Dad.”

  When we hung up, Cruz was already looking at me like he was ready for round two. I was quickly learning it took two times before my boyfriend was really satisfied. “Don’t look at me like that,” I warned.

  “Like what?” He feigned innocence, but his dick twitching inside me told a different story.

  “Cruz, I told you straight to bed after this. Now my dad’s coming to get us, which means you don’t have to take a nap right away, but we do need to clean up.”

  “Oh come on, Haze, you know I can be quick.”

  “Please tell me that’s not you trying to seduce me,” I groaned.

  We both laughed softly.

  “I can feel myself in you,” he whispered, not hiding his fascination at this phenomenon.

  “Yes, Cruz, it’s messy without a condom. Which is why we have to clean up.” Of course, I was the one on top, trapping him with my legs.

  My phone rang again and Cruz reached for it when we saw it was Bodhi calling. “I thought you guys were going to practice?” he said in answer.

  Cruz waited and then said, “Sure man, fried chicken sounds good.”

  Another moment, and then, “We’ll be at Hazel’s house.”

  He nodded. “Yeah, Jeremy’s getting us.”

  They signed off and I forced myself to slide off Cruz. “The boys coming over for dinner?”

  “Yep. After practice.”

  I sighed, but I was smiling. If the worst part of the day was only going one round with Cruz, I’d be happy-sighing all afternoon.

  Chapter Eight

  Cruz

  Jeremy picked us up at Gramps’s place and it made me feel fourteen again, getting carted around from one place to another. My motorcycle was parked at Gramps’s place now, but no one wanted me driving yet. I’d parked it near the Harvard campus Saturday night and sent Spike to retrieve it for me, since he was the only who’d actually handled a motorcycle before.

  It was the first time I’d seen Jeremy since last Saturday – five days ago – when we’d gotten news of the fire and made the decision that would change the course of all of our lives. I knew why he hadn’t come to the hospital. Jeremy was in the center of the investigation, spending most of his days with law enforcement as he assisted them in sorting the evidence he’d provided. The rest of his time he spent hunkered down in his townhome, hiding from reporters. They wanted all the juicy details on Jeremy Ross’s life, even – or especially – the ones that had nothing to do with the investigation.

  Now that we were alone in his Land Cruiser with just Hazel in the back seat, there was so much that needed to be said.

  “I think you need to be ready for a circus when you get back to school tomorrow,” he told me after asking after my injuries.

  “Yeah?”

  “If the teenage population reacted to all this like the adults in Defiance Falls, then you’re going to be a superhero to them.”

  Hazel slid forward from the back seat. “What do you mean, Dad?”

  “Well, sweetie, you’ve been gone mostly since this all hit. Just that one day at school Monday, when it was still fresh, but people are acting like I saved the world from an asteroid hitting or something.”

  “What people?” I asked. Jeremy was borderline a hermit, and I knew he hadn’t been out and about even more so than usual.

  “Our doorstep’s like a shrine right now. Flowers, meals, cards, all kinds of gifts. I knew a lot of people were scared of the Malones and had been screwed over by them, but I hadn’t realized… I guess I wasn’t expecting to be labeled the one who came to their rescue. I thought I’d be one of the villains.” Jeremy chuckled, shifting uncomfortably. He was so out of his element with all this attention, the last dude who’d want to be put on a pedestal. Especially for something he’d never wanted to be a part of in the first place. A life and world he’d gotten trapped into.

  “But why would I get that treatment?” I asked him. “We had to put your name in the middle of it, but no one knows about the rest of us being involved.” Right, so the reporters found me at the hospital and clearly had some interest in me, but that was just because there had been no explanation out there yet about what got me hospitalized in the first place. They’d speculated it had to do with Braven Pharma being one of the players – or victims, depending on how you looked at it – in the Malone activity, but for all they knew, I was one of those villains too.

  “Yeah,” Hazel said, her voice a little uncertain. “I thought we were still good with the media image of Cruz as a normal high school kid who just got screwed over by the Malones like so many others. Sorry, I know your mom and dad didn’t just get screwed over, but I mean, no one’s meant to know you were the main one orchestrating this whole revenge scheme.”

  I shifted to put a hand on her knee. “I know, Haze. The last thing you need to worry about is being PC about everything that happened, especially around me.”

  We turned onto Hazel’s street and I saw what Jeremy had warned us about. The front step had a couple of packages and gift bags. The sight of it made my stomach churn.

  “That’s actually kind of creepy,” Hazel muttered as Jeremy parked in front of the townhome.

  “I know.” He shut off the engine but turned to face me, in the passenger seat, and Hazel, who had slid forward from the back seat. “People were looking for a hero, and they decided we’re it.”

  “We? You mean you,” I reminded him.

  “Articles are already out, Cruz,” Jeremey said, a mixture of apology and amusement in his tone. “They hit a couple hours ago. The general assumption is that you beat the crap out of Neil and Keegan Malone for what they did to your mom. That you only just found out the truth about her death. And the fire,” he added, as if we could forget the most recent attack on the Donovans.

  “So, Cruz will get the royalty treatment too just because they think he stood up for his family by beating up a couple of Malones?”

  “Not exactly. The articles make the general consensus that Cruz Donovan managed to put three Harvard hockey players in the hospital before the team knocked him out. They think he’s some kind
of fighting phenom now. That he’s been in the closet about his fighting abilities and just took on over a dozen athletes before they subdued him.”

  I almost laughed at the irony “So… I’m a hero for my alleged fighting skills, not for bringing down the Malones?”

  Jeremy smirked and rubbed the back of his neck. “Think so.” He shook his head as he unbuckled his seat belt. “I’m sure Braven’s involvement with Malone shipments added an allure of mystery too,” he said. “People don’t know what to think about Braven Pharma yet, but the media’s speculating they wanted out from under the Malones’ scheme and I was their savior.”

  Hazel patted her Dad’s shoulder. “You kind of were, Dad.”

  Jeremy didn’t break eye contact with me when he said, “Cruz was too.” I didn’t know about that, but coming from this man’s lips, it did make me feel a little like a hero. I’d won Hazel’s dad’s respect, and that was more important to me than whatever the people in this town believed about me, good or bad.

  I knew I should apologize for going rogue last weekend, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it right now, not to Jeremy. I’d already apologized to the guys, but that was more because I didn’t consult them, and it was a breach of trust. With Jeremy, apologizing would mean I regretted doing it. And I didn’t regret it, not exactly. My motivation was fueled by what they did to Hazel, and Jeremy could understand that. If I wasn’t imagining it, there seemed to be a new level of respect in his gaze.

  We poked around in the bags on the front steps and Hazel started ripping open a couple of envelopes. She opened one as Jeremy was checking inside a Button Bottom Bakery box. Hazel’s eyes widened, then her mouth opened and she let out a squeak of surprise. Her expression quickly turned to horror.

  Jeremy grabbed the card out of her hand. He glanced at it and let out a huff of exasperation before shoving it into one of the bags and opening the front door.

  “What was that?” I asked.

  No one answered me. I glanced at Hazel. “Haze? Come on, don’t leave me hanging here.”