Undercover Mistress

by Amethyst Ames

  She sniffed. “I’m saying this so badly and I want you to understand. Danny was my soul, Kate. He was the part of me that kept my heart beating, kept me breathing. Until recently, it felt like the only time I’ve truly been alive was the years we were together. And he felt the same way about me. That’s what love is. It’s not pain, or anger, or fear. It’s caring so much about the other person that you put their needs before your own. If something makes them happy, it makes you happy, too. If something hurts them, it hurts you more.”

  Kate stood and paced across the room, clutching the phone tightly to her ear. She wanted so much to believe her sister. And yet—”But he risked his life everyday. How could he do that if he really loved you?”

  “You do the same thing, Kate. I know you think what you’re doing is safer than the agency, but it’s not. I understand why you do it, though. You and Danny were a lot more alike than you think. Both of you had this deep need to protect, to see justice done. It’s part of who you are and I couldn’t change it without changing the things I love most about you.”

  Her sister’s voice softened. “This is about Angus, isn’t it? You’re in love with him.”

  “No…Yes.” Kate hung her head. “God, Crystal, I think I am, but I’m so scared and confused. I don’t know what to do.”

  “You’re going to take a chance. There’s not a drop of coward in you, Katherine Marie Carson, and I don’t want you to start acting like one now. Angus loves you and you love him. And I’ll tell you something else. The second half of that bonus money? When you asked me about it Saturday night, I was standing there with the check in my purse. Angus made Marc give it to me before he went after you. He loves you so much that he wanted to make sure there was a way to keep you with him. I still have it, Kate, so you can’t say you’re staying because of the money anymore. This has to be your choice, not something you were forced into.”

  “I know you’re right, but I don’t know how to handle it. I need more time.”

  “I’m sure Angus will be happy to give it to you. And while you’re thinking things through, think about this. Can you really go back to the way you were living, knowing you’d never see him again?”

  The thought sent a wave of desolation sweeping over her. “No,” she whispered. Tears dripped from her chin.

  “Then I think you already have your answer.”

  * * * * *

  Angus looked up as Kate entered the kitchen, and his heartbeat quickened. She’d scared him so badly in the shower he wasn’t sure he’d ever get over it. At the same time, he was filled with hope. She had opened up to him, shared all that pain and fear for the first time in her life. Had she finally realized she loved him?

  She seemed a lot calmer now, although her face was still pale and it looked like she’d been crying again. She had stayed upstairs so long that he was starting to think about checking on her. Trying his best to act casual, he slid an omelet and a couple of bacon slices onto a plate and put it in front of her, then poured her a cup of coffee.

  “Feeling better?” He joined her at the table.

  “Yes.” She picked up her fork and toyed with the omelet, her gaze avoiding his. “I forgot to call Maggie last night.”

  “Ye were busy.”

  “That’s no excuse. I shouldn’t be letting other things distract me from doing my job.”

  Things like him. His heart sank. What if she’d decided to refute her feelings? He wasn’t sure he could stand it. “If I’m not mistaken, yer job is tae protect me, not find the person who’s doing the stalking. Yer tae hard on yerself.”

  “There’s no reason I can’t do both. The sooner we find the person doing this, the sooner…”

  “The sooner what, Kate? The sooner ye can run from me, make yerself believe ye don’t love me?”

  “No. The sooner you’ll be safe.” She dropped her fork and lifted a hand to her eyes. A sigh escaped her lips. “I talked to Crystal. You were right. She and Danny did love each other.”

  “And?”

  She visibly braced herself, but still wouldn’t look at him. “If—if I said I loved you, would we have to get married?”

  Joy sang through his veins until he was dizzy with it, a symphony of proportions he’d never felt before. It was nearly impossible to stay in his seat, but he forced himself to remain quiet. He didn’t want to panic her. Slowly, he put a knuckle under her chin and lifted it, making her look at him.

  “Nay. Not unless ‘tis what ye want, Sweetheart. Ye’ve all the time in the world tae decide.”

  Her hesitant smile made every nerve in him vibrate with happiness. The smile faded as she clasped his wrist. “I may need it, Angus. The thought of being in love still scares me to death. It’s going to take a while for me to get used to it.”

  “As long as I know yer trying, that there’s a chance for us. But I need tae hear ye say it. Are ye going tae make me beg tae get the words out of ye, Katie?”

  “No.” Her gaze wavered slightly before fixing on his again. She took a deep breath. “I love you, Angus. It hit me when we were in the shower. Then when Crystal described the way she and Danny felt about each other, I knew for sure. It’s the same way I feel about you.”

  He was up and around the table in two strides, holding her tightly. “Say it again.”

  “I love you.” She was laughing and crying at the same time. “I’m still a little scared, but I do love you.”

  His lips moved over her face, drying her tears. “I’m scared tae, Love.”

  “You’re scared?” She lifted a hand to cup his cheek.

  “Aye. I’ve ne’er felt like this before. ‘Tis a bit scary tae love someone so much.”

  “So what do we do now?”

  He sat down on the stool and pulled her onto his lap. “Live together if ye dinna want tae marry. Make love, talk, laugh, build a life together. How do ye feel about kids?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about them before. At least, not about having any of my own. But I do love Sammy.” She put her arms around him and leaned her head against his chest. “There are so many problems. I don’t want to give up my company, Angus. It’s going to be hard with me in New York and you here in Maine.”

  “Nay. I’ll sell the house and move.”

  “But you love this place.”

  “‘Tis only a house, Katie. I can find another we both like as much, and I can write anywhere as long as I have ye.”

  “You want to get married.”

  “Aye. I do. But I’ll not hound ye about it. The decision has tae be yours.”

  “I may not be very good at this,” she warned.

  “I’ll live with yer faults if ye’ll live with mine.” He smiled.

  “You’ll have to do all the cooking.”

  She was ginning up at him and his heart tried to leap from his chest. “As long as ye clean up afterwards.”

  “I’m always right.”

  His eyes narrowed. “We’ll negotiate.”

  Kate laughed out loud and planted a kiss on his lips. “It was worth a shot. I think I may learn to like this love stuff after all.”

  “And it only gets better from here, Sweetheart. I promise.”

  * * * * *

  If it got much better she’d never survive, Kate decided. She wiggled her toes then glanced at Angus. He was lying beside her on the study floor, gloriously naked and sound asleep, his dark hair hiding his face. One arm was curved under his cheek, the other outstretched in her direction.

  Her gaze skimmed down his body, taking in the long hard muscles of his back and the tight curve of his bottom. His skin was bronze all the way down with no white to mar the surface. Did he sun bathe nude? She pictured him on the beach with the waves curling around his bare body and felt the heat rising inside her again. Oh, yeah. He was going to be the death of her. But what a way to go.

  She loved him. It kept surprising her, even though it shouldn’t. Her lips curved in a smile. Now that she’d admitted it, she knew some part of her
had been in love with him a long time. For two years to be exact. From the time she’d first seen his poster.

  Agreeing to live with him made her extremely nervous, but Crystal was right. It was a chance she had to take. As long as they weren’t married she wouldn’t be permanently tied into the situation. There would be time to make sure it was going to work. And she’d never forgive herself if she didn’t try.

  Which made it even more important they find the person who was stalking him. She didn’t know how she’d survive if anything happened to him.

  A quick look at the clock showed her it was well after lunch. They had spent hours making love. Finding her clothes was a lost cause at the moment, so she padded softly to the phone naked, and dialed a number.

  “Agent Norm Brewster, please. Kate Carson calling.”

  She curled up in the chair while she waited for him to answer.

  “Kate? I was about to get in touch with you. I’ve got the report on your handwriting sample.”

  “Could they tell anything?”

  “Well, the writer tried to mask their identity with the calligraphy, but yeah. They got a few things for you.”

  She sat up straighter. “Like what?”

  “It was a woman. The letters are rounded too much for a man. And whoever she is, she’s left-handed. The bar on the ‘T’ slants in the wrong direction, and so does the letter ‘L’.”

  Cursing under her breath, she ran a hand through her hair as she thought about John Wesley. “There’s goes my best suspect. I was so sure it was him.”

  “Anything else you need me to do, Kate?”

  “Thanks, Norm, but we’ve got some detectives working on this. Maybe they’ll turn up something.”

  She hung up only to discover Angus reclining on his side with his head propped on his hand watching her.

  “Who did ye think it was?”

  “John Wesley. All my instincts are telling me he had something to do with this. But the handwriting expert said it was a woman.”

  He stood and moved to the wet bar as though he did it every day without a stitch on. “Are yer instincts always right?”

  “Usually.”

  “Then trust them now.” He filled a glass, sipped, and then paused. “Does it bother ye for me tae drink?”

  “Not as long as you don’t get drunk.”

  “I never get drunk.” He smiled at her. “Do ye know how good ye look sittin’ there that way?”

  “Oh, no you don’t.” She held up a hand. “You aren’t distracting me again today. I want this over with, Angus. I hate being afraid something might happen to you.”

  Beside her, the phone rang. She snagged it with her other hand and put it to her ear.

  “Hello?”

  “Kate? It’s Marc. I just heard from the detective agency. They have a lead on Angus’s real mother.”

  A chill ran over her. “Where is she?”

  “They’re still working on that, but up until about ten years ago she was in a very genteel home for the mentally unstable in England. And guess who put her there?”

  Oh, God. She ran a hand over her face. Of everything she’d imagined, nothing even remotely this bad had occurred to her. “Shawn McLeod?”

  “Exactly. He’s the one who paid all the bills for the place right up until he died.”

  She took a deep breath. “As soon as they find out anything else, let me know.”

  Angus frowned as she hung up the phone. “What about my father?”

  “You’d better sit down.”

  “Nay, tell me now.”

  Kate watched him intently. “The detectives found out where your mother was, Angus. She didn’t pack up and leave on her own like you were told. Your father had her committed to a home in England. That’s where she stayed until ten years ago.”

  He downed the rest of his drink in one swallow, and then sank onto the couch. Shock rippled across his face. “It canna be true. Why would he lie tae me?”

  “I don’t know, but it is the truth.” She picked up his hand, offering what comfort she could. “Maybe he thought he was protecting you, or maybe he was afraid you’d hate him if you knew.”

  “She’s my mother, damn it! I had the right tae know.”

  She slid off the chair and knelt in front of him. “Yes, you did. And we’ll find out all of it now, Angus. We’ll find your mother if she’s still alive.” Standing, she pulled on his hand. “Come on. I think it’s time we talked to Maggie.”

  His eyes were haunted when he looked up at her. “Not on the phone. I want tae see her face when we ask her. If she lies, I’ll know it.”

  “Okay, I’ll call the airport and book a flight for tonight. We can see Maggie first thing tomorrow morning.” She hesitated. “I hate to bring this up now, but your mother could be tied in with these letters, Angus.”

  “I wouldna blame her if she was.” His expression changed to one of fierce anger, his voice bitter. “She’s probably spent her whole life wondering why I didna care enough tae come see her. Christ.” He buried his face in his hands. “It was all a lie. And I didna even ask for fear of upsetting my father.”

  She wrapped her arms around him. “It’s not your fault. You had no way of knowing.”

  “Aye. But I’ll know now or there’ll be hell tae pay.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  “Are you okay?” Kate touched Angus’s arm as they got off the elevator in Maggie’s building. He’d sat up most of the night, staring at the walls, barely moving until she told him it was time to leave for the airport in Bangor.

  “Aye.”

  “You don’t look it. You look upset.” She stopped him. “Angus, if you go in there angry and start accusing her of heaven knows what, you’re only going to put her on the defensive. Will you let me talk to her?”

  “They lied tae me, Kate. All these years, they’ve lied.”

  “You don’t know why, though. Maggie has been your mother for as long as you can remember, and I know she loves you. At least hear her out before you jump to any conclusions.”

  He stared at the apartment door for a moment, then nodded. “Fine.”

  Kate punched the doorbell and they waited in silence.

  “Who is it?” Maggie’s voice was muffled by the wooden entrance.

  “Kate and Angus,” Kate replied. “We’d like to talk to you.”

  “Oh. Oh, dear.” There were several clicks and the sound of a chain rattling before she smiled up them. “Oh, my, what a pleasure. I wasn’t expecting you back so soon. You’re just in time for tea and scones. Do come in, children, and stop dawdling in the hall.”

  “Thank you.” Kate reached for Angus’s hand as they followed Maggie. His fingers closed around hers tightly, his face pale.

  Maggie didn’t seem to notice Angus hadn’t greeted her as usual. She chattered all the way to the kitchen. Her red hair was mussed and she wearing a comfortable-looking blue silk robe that covered her from neck to floor.

  “Sit down while I get the cups out.” Maggie bustled to the cabinets.

  Instead of sitting opposite Angus, Kate took the chair beside him, his hand still in hers.

  “Maggie, you know Angus has been getting some threatening letters, don’t you?”

  “Of course, Dear. Nasty business. Have they found out who sent them yet?”

  “No, but that’s what we need to talk to you about.” She squeezed Angus’s hand. “Maggie, we want you to tell us everything you know about Angus’s real mother.”

  Maggie kept her back to them as she poured hot water into a teapot and placed it on a tray with the cups, but Kate saw the small telltale tightening of her muscles.

  “There’s really nothing to tell, dear. As I’m sure Angus mentioned, she simply packed up and left. Shawn never heard from her again.” She lifted the tray and carried it to the table, her gaze averted. “Here we go. Please, help yourselves.”

  “Maggie, we know.”

  “Know what?” She passed the cups around and scooted the sugar bowl cl
oser to them.

  Kate glanced at Angus. His face looked as if it had been carved from stone, but he remained silent. She turned back to his mother. “We know that Ellen didn’t pack up and leave. Shawn took her to England and had her committed.”

  Maggie seemed to shrink right before their eyes. She groped for the back of a chair, then sagged onto it. “Oh, my.” Her voice was a whisper. “Shawn would be so upset. He never wanted you to discover the truth, Angus.” She raised tear-filled eyes to her stepson.

  “Why? Didna ye think I had the right tae know?”

  “You don’t understand. Oh, dear, it’s so complicated. I don’t know where to start.”

  “At the beginning,” Kate told her.

  Maggie wrapped her hands around her teacup. “Yes, I suppose that would be best.” Her eyes took on a faraway look. “I was visiting some friends in Scotland when I met Shawn. It was love at first sight for me, and he felt the same.” She hesitated. “It was several weeks before I discovered he was married.”

  She looked pleadingly at Angus. “If I had known, Darling, I never would have gotten so close to him. And as soon as I found out, I packed my bags. I was going to leave, even though it was breaking my heart. Shawn stopped me. It was one of the few times he talked about Ellen.

  “They had been married for six years before she became pregnant with you. Shawn told me that she had always been very fragile, more like a child than a woman in some ways. It was what attracted him to her at first. She was someone he could take care of, someone he could cherish and protect. But then she had you.”

  Maggie took a deep breath. “Shawn said the pregnancy did something to her, made her a little off balance. Angus, he was desperately afraid she was going to hurt you, and he couldn’t take that chance. He told me he’d made arrangements with a good home in England, near her family, and begged me to stay, to wait for him. I couldn’t say no, I loved him too much. Two weeks later she was gone. Shawn quietly got a divorce and we were married the day after it was final.”

  What little blood was left in Angus’s face had drained away, leaving him white and shaking. “He had her committed tae get rid of her, so he could be with ye.”