Perfect Daughter

by Amanda Prowse

  ‘I love you too, always have and always will, no matter what.’ Jacks kissed her girl. ‘God, it’s been some day today. I am exhausted.’

  ‘Me too!’ Martha stretched.

  ‘Angela dropped off some bits and bobs for the baby the other day, did you see?’

  ‘No!’ Martha sat up, excited, free at last to mention the child that was growing inside her.

  Jacks jumped up and came back with the Moses basket and the vests and clothes donated from next door. Martha held up a little vest and placed it on her chest. ‘It’s tiny!’

  None of them heard Jonty enter the room; he couldn’t get off to sleep with the loud voices and what sounded like celebrations coming from below. He looked over at his big sister. ‘I don’t think that’s going to fit you.’

  ‘It’s not for me, you doughnut!’ Martha yelled.

  ‘Don’t call your brother a doughnut!’ Pete and Jacks chorused in unison.

  Jacks smiled as she replayed the happy scene in her mind and crossed the road to the supermarket. She wandered the aisles, muttering to herself, trying to think what to make for tea. ‘Chicken? No, we had that last night. Pork chops? No, Jonty won’t eat them. I could make a fish pie. Does Gideon like prawns? I don’t bloody know…’

  ‘Jacks?’ a voice called from behind.

  ‘Lynne! Ah, lovely to see you. How are you?’ She beamed.

  ‘I’m great! Ashley’s home for a week or two. I love having her here, hearing all about her adventures and it’s good for her to spend time with Molly, Caitlin-Marie’s little girl.’

  ‘Ah, Molly, that’s a lovely name. How’s she doing, she must be getting big?’

  ‘Yes, she’s cute. Nearly seven months old now, if you can believe it! Goes so quickly. And how’s Martha doing?’

  ‘Oh, due any day now. She’s got her bag packed by the front door and her dad’s sitting with the car keys in his hand day and night, just in case! Gideon’s mum works at Weston General and is already giving firm instructions about how this baby’ll be born!’

  She and Allison had silently reached an understanding that they both only wanted what was best for their kids and that they were powerless to change things anyway. Jacks had decided she rather liked Allison’s forthright nature and thought it highly possible that they might become friends.

  ‘You seem quite calm, considering,’ Lynne noted.

  ‘Do you know, I am. It’s funny, Lynne, but when I was looking after my mum, I didn’t have time to think. I was on autopilot, but for the last few months I’ve had time back and it’s helped me take stock. I’ve kind of slowed down and it’s good, like I can see things a lot more clearly.’ Poor Mum. She pictured pushing her mum around with the basket on her lap. ‘I miss her, though, really do.’

  Lynne rubbed her friend’s arm. ‘Course you do and I was very sorry to hear she’d passed on. But you were wonderful to look after her for as long as you did. She was always beautifully turned out and I always thought she looked very happy, just to be with you.’

  ‘Thank you, Lynne.’ Jacks felt a little overcome by the compliment. ‘Right, suppose I better get on and get home.’

  ‘Good luck!’ Lynne shouted as the two headed off in different directions. ‘Ooh,’ she called over her shoulder, ‘forgot to ask, how did Martha get on in her exams?’

  Jacks stopped and turned. ‘Her exams?’

  ‘Yeah.’ Lynne nodded.

  ‘Oh, she got three As!’

  ‘Bloody hell!’ Lynne laughed.

  Jacks smiled as she reached for a tin of pears, which she would serve with custard. Yep, you said it. Bloody hell!

  Two days later, Jacks was making tea for the builders, workmates of Pete’s who were doing their new loft conversion – or ‘Jonty’s floor’, as it was now known. She walked past Ida’s old room, unrecognisable since Martha and Gideon had moved into it. With all the clutter removed, it was quite spacious and it was amazing what a lick of paint and some new carpet had done. The cot was assembled in the corner and a nursing chair sat under the window in preparation, with Ida’s favourite soft blanket folded over the arm.

  ‘Mum?’

  ‘Yes, love?’ Jacks popped her head inside the door.

  ‘Can you call Gideon for me?’ Martha asked.

  ‘Sure, where is he?’

  ‘He’s at the garage, the new tenants are moving in upstairs.’

  Gideon had decided, much to Jacks and Pete’s relief, that the sensible thing would be to rent out the flat above his business premises. The income it would bring would be far more beneficial than the privacy it would give them. And he figured that when the baby came along, Martha would need her mum on hand.

  ‘Are you all right, love?’ Jacks looked at her daughter, who was sitting on top of her duvet with her arms braced behind her and her bump filling her pyjama top.

  ‘I think something might be happening, Mum!’

  ‘Really?’

  Martha nodded, smiling and calm.

  ‘Oh God, right! I’ll go call him. You stay there!’ Jacks pointed at the bed.

  Martha laughed. ‘Where do you think I’m going to go in this state?’

  She ran to the kitchen and grabbed her phone. ‘Goodeon? Gid, I mean Gideon, good, you need to come home. Martha thinks something’s happening!’ she shouted.

  ‘Oh, okay, Jacks, I’ll just finish up here and come back.’

  ‘No! Don’t just finish up there, come straight back now!’ she yelled. ‘I don’t understand how you two are so calm!’ she shrieked.

  ‘All right.’ He laughed. ‘I’m on my way. Do you want anything picking up from the shop?’

  ‘The shop?’ she squealed, almost breathless. ‘Don’t stop at the shop! Come back now! Come straight home!’

  Gideon snorted down the line. ‘Only kidding. I’m not going to stop anywhere. I’ll be back soon.’

  ‘And drive carefully!’ she managed before ending the call and immediately dialling Pete’s number.

  ‘Mum?’ Martha called loudly.

  ‘Hang on, Pete!’ Jacks shouted, covering the mouthpiece and running to the bottom of the stairs. ‘What is it, love? Are you okay? I’m just updating Dad and then I’ll be up!’

  ‘Yeah, I’m fine. I was just wondering, have I got a clean shirt?’

  Jacks leant on the banister and laughed. ‘Yes, in the bloody airing cupboard!’

  Jacks fidgeted in her uncomfortable vinyl chair in the waiting room while Pete and Jonty crowded round Pete’s phone screen, watching a cartoon.

  ‘I hope it’s a boy!’ Jonty looked up.

  ‘Well…’ Jacks looked at her watch. ‘Not too much longer to wait and you’ll find out.’ She smiled at Pete.

  ‘I think I’m too young to be a grandad!’ he moaned.

  ‘Bit late for that,’ she responded. ‘Fancy a breath of fresh air, Jont?’ She could see he was getting a bit antsy.

  ‘Sure.’ He followed his mum out into the cool night.

  They rested on the low wall by the entrance and looked up at the sky. ‘Did you know, Jonty, the moon is about a quarter of a million miles away.’

  He looked at his mum. ‘No, I didn’t know that.’

  ‘And what’s even more amazing is that, despite being just over two thousand miles wide, you can fit the whole thing behind your thumbnail. Look!’ She held her thumb up in the air and closed one eye, watching as her son did the same.

  ‘You’re right, Mum. That’s amazing!’

  Jacks smiled.

  ‘Mu-um?’

  ‘Yes, love.’

  ‘We’re doing show and tell in school and Mrs Palmer says I have to take in a pet. I said we didn’t have one, but she said we can bring in anyone’s pet, so I have to borrow one.’

  ‘Are you kidding? That’s a big ask. When do you need a pet by, Jonty?’ Please not tomorrow. Please, please not tomorrow…

  ‘Tomorrow,’ he said.

  ‘How did I know you were going to say that?’ She gathered her son into her chest. �
�Come on, let’s get back inside. We don’t want to miss anything, do we?’

  Allison came hurtling through the swing doors and plonked herself down next to Jacks. ‘They won’t tell me anything,’ she said huffily. ‘I know some of the nurses up there and even they won’t tell me a bloody thing!’

  ‘This is the hardest bit, isn’t it? The waiting.’ Jacks smiled at her and reached into her bag for the sweets she had been saving for when they needed a lift. ‘Who wants a sucking sweet?’ she asked, holding the open tin in her outstretched hand.

  ‘Ooh, me!’ Gina shouted as she swept into the room, holding a large bunch of flowers. ‘What did we get?’

  ‘Nothing yet, G. Still waiting.’ Jacks grinned at her friend.

  ‘Damn. I was hoping for a quick cuddle and then to get home in time for Corrie!’ Gina tutted.

  ‘Jonty likes a cuddle, G! Will he do?’ Pete teased.

  ‘No way! I don’t!’ Jonty squirmed and punched his dad on the arm.

  ‘I’ve got a cuddle waiting for me at home,’ Allison whispered.

  ‘Ooh, Allison, you dark horse. Who’s the lucky man?’ Jacks asked.

  ‘Well…’ Allison reached for the edges of her cardigan and pulled them around her bust. ‘It’s early days, but I must admit I’m quite keen.’ She smiled.

  ‘Where did you meet?’ Gina asked, loving the gossip.

  ‘On the pier. He works up there. He’s lovely, his name’s Richard, Richard Frost.’

  ‘You all right, Gina?’ Pete asked as Gina leant forward, apparently choking on her sweetie.

  Jacks jumped up and with her shoulders shaking in silent giggles, she rubbed her friend’s back. ‘Oh, she’s just a bit overwhelmed, what with the baby coming and everything.’

  The two friends caught each other’s eye as they swallowed their hysterics.

  It was an hour later, when things had calmed slightly, that Gideon walked into the waiting room, pushing Martha in a wheelchair. ‘Sorry, people! False alarm!’ Martha shouted, her arms above her head.

  ‘Oh no!’ Jonty yelled.

  Pete groaned and Gina stared at the bouquet she had spent fifteen quid on. ‘You may as well take these.’ She handed Martha the flowers. ‘And try and keep them fresh till the baby comes, I can’t be getting you any more!’

  Martha inhaled the scent of the white flowers. ‘Aww, thank you, Aunty G. I can appreciate them now. They’re lovely.’

  Gideon drove Martha and Jonty home while Jacks and Pete ambled across the car park and climbed into the van.

  ‘Thought we’d be coming home with a baby,’ Pete said. ‘It feels a bit flat after all that excitement.’

  Jacks laughed. ‘Tell you what, it was a good dry run and personally I’ve had enough excitement for one day. A bit of flat suits me just fine. Shall we get everyone chips?’

  ‘That’s the best idea you’ve had all day. I’m bloody starving!’ He kissed his wife.

  Pete pulled into Sunnyside Road and shunted the back end of the van into a space, grinding the gears into reverse repeatedly before jumping forward inch by inch, until finally he got the thing parked, even if it was at an untidy angle. Jacks waited for him on the pavement, her arms full of hot bags of chips slathered in salt and vinegar. Pete jumped down from the cab and they trotted down the road side by side.

  ‘False bloody alarm, I still can’t get over it. That’s a few hours of my life I’m never getting back.’ Pete chuckled as he put his arm around Jacks’ shoulders. ‘She’s late and unprepared for everything, that girl. Having this baby is going to be no different.’ They laughed.

  Pete’s phone beeped in his pocket. He glanced at the screen and pulled his arm from his wife’s shoulders. ‘Ah, God, it’s work.’

  ‘At this time of night? Can’t you tell them you’re busy?’

  ‘I can’t, love. I’m going to have to go and sort it out. We’ve got a big job on and there’s been a mix-up with the slabs. Shan’t be too long. You get them chips inside before they go cold.’ He kissed her cheek and climbed back into the van.

  A few minutes later, Pete drew up on the seafront and sat waiting, trying to still his heart, which was beating a little too fast for comfort. A pair of headlights swooped into the space behind him and he heard the roar of an engine revving loudly, the bass reverberating in his rib cage. He got out of his van, conscious of his work attire with its splashes of cement and mud. He should have shaved. Cursing himself for his misplaced vanity, he wished he didn’t feel so nervous.

  Sven slid out of the red Ferrari and stood on the pavement. ‘Hello, Pete. How are you?’ He walked confidently towards Pete, as though it had been months and not almost two decades since their paths had last crossed. He nodded at him with his arm outstretched, but Pete declined to shake Sven’s hand. Instead, he stared at him, his gaze unwavering, his stance challenging.

  ‘What do you want?’ Pete asked.

  ‘I was in London on business and thought I’d come down. It’s only a couple of hours in that.’ He pointed to the car. ‘I got your number from Gina.’

  ‘I said, what do you want?’ Pete concentrated on keeping his voice steady.

  ‘To talk to you,’ Sven answered, standing with his legs slightly apart and his palms splayed, trying to look unthreatening.

  ‘You’ve got two minutes,’ Pete said curtly.

  ‘Is that right?’ Sven asked with a hint of amusement in his voice, unused to taking orders from anyone. He looked over Pete’s shoulder into the dark space beyond the sea wall. ‘This might take a little longer than two minutes.’

  Sven’s tone infuriated Pete. He rushed forward, grabbed Sven’s lapels and pushed him against the Ferrari, pinning him to the car. ‘I said two minutes – you just wasted ten seconds!’ he almost whispered.

  Sven gave a small laugh. ‘I can see you are still of the view that a quick flex of your muscles will solve anything. I remember you and your flailing fists.’

  It took all of Pete’s strength not to rise to the jibe. His voice was level but he spoke through gritted teeth. ‘I don’t like you. I don’t like anything about you and I wouldn’t hold back in showing you just how much.’ He didn’t notice Mr Vickers from the hardware store strolling along the pavement with his scruffy dog.

  ‘All right, Pete?’ Mr Vickers said as he passed, as though it was quite normal for Pete to be pinning a man against the side of a Ferrari.

  ‘All right?’ Pete responded, never taking his eyes from Sven’s face.

  Mr Vickers whistled and called his dog to heel. He turned his head to call over his shoulder. ‘Oh, by the way, Pete, can you tell Ivor I’ve got his paint in?’

  ‘Will do.’ Pete nodded.

  ‘You always thought you were such a big shot,’ Sven snarled, ‘you and your football mates, all laughing at me. You were so small-town it was funny, but you had such big ideas!’

  ‘Don’t tell me this is about school, me laughing at your bloody jumper?’ Pete pulled away as the strength left his wrists.

  Sven stood straight, smoothing his white shirt and tailored jacket back down over his jeans. He coughed and pushed his fingers through his blonde hair, but he didn’t say anything.

  ‘That’s pathetic! Don’t you see? You won!’ Pete laughed. ‘You’ve got the flash car, the big boat, the bloody platinum credit card. You got the works, mate. Me? I have to scrabble down the back of the sofa to find the price of a pint. So piss off back to wherever it is you’ve come from and enjoy your life. And leave me to get on with mine.’

  ‘Ah, but I didn’t win, did I? You got Jacks and you got my daughter.’

  Pete froze, the words hovered in his throat and his head swam.

  ‘Martha is my daughter!’ Sven said it loudly this time, as though it might be news to Pete.

  Pete’s face crumpled. With his eyes screwed tightly shut, he winced as if in extreme pain. When he opened his eyes again, he tried to control his shaking limbs and calm the tremor in his voice. ‘I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong end of the st
ick, sunshine. She is not yours. I am her dad and that is that. Now just do as I’ve asked and leave, leave us alone.’

  Sven flipped his car keys in his palm. ‘I want to be reasonable, but you think I can’t take steps? Make things official? It would take days, that’s all.’

  ‘And what would that serve? What the fuck is this all about?’ Pete thought about where they had been only hours earlier. It had been such a lovely day. But now the excitement of becoming a grandad had been wiped out by this and he was scared, the most scared he’d ever been.

  ‘Clarity. I think it’s important we all know where we stand.’ Sven gave a faint smile.

  Pete took a deep breath, delivering his words carefully. ‘I was a kid when I fell in love with Jacks, without the first clue about life, and there I was, responsible for a baby! Most blokes would have done a runner, but not me. And here’s the thing. It takes a lot more than a quick shag to make a dad. I have been there since that little girl took her first breath, held her hand on her first day of school and read her stories before she fell asleep. I’m her dad.’ He pointed at his chest. ‘And there ain’t nobody in the world going to take that away from me.’

  The two men stood face to face. Pete took a step closer towards Sven. ‘I am not a proud man and so I am going to beg you. My daughter is about to have a baby. There’s no way she could deal with you turning up, neither could my wife. And quite frankly, neither can I.’

  He turned, walked across the pavement and sat on the sea wall, staring out towards Steep Holm. He felt numb as he imagined Martha running into Sven’s arms as they were reunited. Pictured Jonty eager for a ride in the flash car. It caused him physical pain, the thought of losing his daughter and not being able to provide what this man could. He’d never felt so powerless in his life.

  Sven sidled over and sat on the wall beside him. He raised his hands. ‘Don’t punch me!’

  Pete shook his head. ‘I haven’t punched anyone since I was at school.’ He saw Sven’s shoulders relax. The two sat side by side in silence for some seconds.