That Wintry Feeling (Debbie Macomber Classics)

by Debbie Macomber

  Grady turned around, capturing her gaze. He looked at her hard and long. He was waiting, it seemed, waiting for her to bridge the differences between them. His eyes told her he’d made the effort, done his part, and now it was her turn.

  “You want me to apologize for the other night, don’t you?” she whispered, and by all that was right, she should. She owed him an apology.

  “Not really.”

  She didn’t understand her reluctance. She had no right to speak to him the way she had. Standing, Cathy returned to the desk that contained the colored paper letters she’d been pinning on the bulletin board.

  “A plain ‘I’ve missed you’ would do nicely.”

  She lifted an orange letter. “All right, I’ve missed you.” That was an understatement. She whirled and tacked the letter onto the bulletin board.

  “Come flying with me.”

  The blood drummed through her veins with a long list of excuses why she should refuse. Instead, she asked, “When?” She remained facing the wall, unwilling to turn around.

  “Now. I’ve got a short run to do this afternoon, two hours’ airtime. I’ll take you to dinner afterward.”

  Cathy squeezed her eyes closed. She’d be crazy to go, she told herself.

  “Well?” he questioned smoothly, as if he was sure of her response, as if he realized how exhilarating the first flight had been for her.

  Her heart was beating with a wild tempo against her rib cage. “I’d like to,” she said, and turned.

  A look of satisfaction glinted from Grady’s eyes. “Grab your coat,” he instructed briskly. “I’m already fifteen minutes late for takeoff.”

  “But I have to finish—” She stopped in midsentence, letting the rest of the sentence fade as Grady grabbed her hand and nearly pulled her off balance.

  Laughing, Cathy was able to restrain him long enough for her to retrieve her coat and purse. Together they ran down the school hallway. Linda met her coming out of the office, a shocked look drawing open her mouth.

  “What in the world?”

  “I’ll explain later.” Cathy waved, and Grady placed an arm around her waist, helping her steps to meet his faster-paced ones.

  Before Cathy knew it, she was strapped in the passenger side of the cockpit as Grady reviewed the preflight checklist.

  Soon they were taxiing on the runway, waiting for confirmation from the air traffic controller. The okay came in a muffled voice Cathy couldn’t hope to decipher.

  In response, Grady moved the throttle forward. Cathy closed her eyes at the sudden surge of power. The engines whirled, and within minutes the airplane was ascending into the dark, cloud-filled sky.

  Her hand clutched the cushion while gusts of wind buffeted the small aircraft.

  Grady’s hand touched her forearm. “You can open your eyes now.”

  Relief eased its way through her. She released a long breath and relaxed. They were climbing rapidly through a layer of thick clouds. Below, the world was obliterated by what looked like a mass of marshmallow topping, and above, a thin layer of gray clouds.

  “How are you supposed to see to fly this thing?”

  “I don’t,” Grady said, with a mischievous grin.

  “This isn’t the time to tease, Grady Jones. If you wish to see a perfectly sane woman panic at ten thousand feet, just continue.”

  “Seventeen thousand,” he corrected.

  Her fingers gripped both sides of the safety strap, but she decided not to give him the satisfaction of unsettling her. “It looks like it might snow.” She changed the subject deliberately, looking at the sky around her.

  “Say a prayer it doesn’t.”

  “Grady.” She hissed his name. “If you don’t stop, I’ll never fly with you again.”

  The roguish smile was directed at her. Cathy was powerless to resist the force of his masculinity. When his hand moved to cover hers, she turned and smiled back at him.

  “Your eyes are about the same color as these clouds.” He lifted her fingers to his mouth and lightly brushed his lips over her knuckles. “And when you’re angry. Watch out! I swear they harden into the color of burnt silver.”

  No one had ever spoken to her like that, and Cathy found herself struggling for a witty comeback. “Oh.”

  “For two weeks I’ve been flying in a sky that seemed to be filled with you watching every move.”

  “Oh.” She looked away, slightly abashed.

  “Is that all you can say?”

  “Well, for heaven’s sake, what do you want me to say?”

  He sighed. “Well, for starters you can say that you’ve dreamed of me every night.”

  “I did,” she inserted. “But they were nightmares.”

  Unexpectedly, the plane took a sudden plunge downward. Grady gripped the control, and Cathy’s heart leapt wildly to her throat.

  “I lied,” she whispered through the fear. “They were wonderful dreams, just don’t do that again.”

  Grady’s laughter was rich and full. “I didn’t do anything. We hit an air pocket, that’s all.”

  “Oh.”

  “Are we back to those again?”

  * * *

  Two and a half hours later they landed at Fairbanks Airport. Ray was in the hangar, waiting for them. Rubbing her bare hands together to keep her fingers from stiffening with the cold, Cathy hurried into Grady’s office. Ray followed her in and handed her a cup of coffee.

  Cathy nearly choked on the bitter-tasting fluid. She put the cup down on the desk.

  Watching her expression, Grady looped an arm across her shoulders. “One of these days, you’re going to kill someone with that stuff you pass off as coffee.”

  Ray mumbled something unintelligible under his breath. “There are a couple of phone messages on your desk.”

  “Thanks, Ray.” Cathy smiled and caught his returning wink.

  Grady’s hand was linked with Cathy’s. He sharply closed the door with his foot. The minute the door shut, he backed her against the wooden frame.

  “I’ve been waiting two weeks for this.” The whisper was a husky caress as his hands framed her face. Slowly, almost as if he was waiting for her to protest, he lowered his mouth to hers. When their lips finally met, the kiss was devastating. Untamed fire shot through her blood, her bones seemed to liquefy, and she eased her arms around his neck, molding herself against him.

  Grady dragged his mouth from hers, burying it in her neck, spreading tiny kisses at the delicate hollow of her throat. The door was pressing into her back, offering reality to a world that suddenly seemed to have taken a tailspin. Unexpectedly, Cathy felt the tears well in her eyes and the need to cry again. This kiss was completely unlike that of the night in front of her fireplace. The wine and his gentleness had produced those tears. Now it was the realization that Grady could make her body respond to him, but not her heart.

  Grady seemed to sense her withdrawal. He raised his head, his compelling eyes holding hers. A thumb wiped a lone tear from her cheek. Tenderly, he kissed the spot where the moisture had appeared.

  “Someday,” he whispered, “I’ll be able to kiss you and you won’t need to cry.” His mouth lowered to hers again, his lips, his hands arousing her to an exquisite need, playing havoc with her senses.

  * * *

  After dinner, Grady drove her to the school to pick up her car, then followed her to the house. Parking her Honda inside the garage, Cathy lowered the door, closing it from the outside. Grady had parked at the curb. She sauntered over to his car and opened the passenger door.

  “Do you want to come in for coffee?”

  Grady looked over to her and smiled, his look absent, preoccupied. “All right.”

  “Remember, Peterkins is my protector,” she said in a teasing tone.

  It didn’t take long to heat water in the copper kettle. Grady sat at the kitchen table, his eyes following her movements around the compact kitchen. After barking and racing around the house at the sight of his mistress, Peterkins was sleep
ing on the throw rug in front of the refrigerator.

  “I still find it unbelievable that you put an ad in the personal column,” she commented as she set the steaming cups on the table. If a woman could have guessed that someone as good-looking and compelling as Grady would place an ad in the paper, every woman in Fairbanks would be answering the personals.

  “It seemed the quickest way,” Grady said, and blew into the black liquid before taking the first sip.

  “The quickest way to do what?” she asked curiously.

  “To find a wife.”

  Her cup made a sharp clang against the saucer. “A what?” she gasped.

  “A wife for me, a mother for Angela,” he replied calmly. “I just don’t have the time for the singles scene. An ad in the paper seemed the most direct route.”

  “Oh.” She gulped on a swallow.

  “We’re back to those, are we?” Laughter fanned out lines about his eyes. “Don’t look so shocked. Why else does someone advertise in the personals?”

  Cathy waved her hand, slicing the air. “Companionship, seeking new friends, adventure. I don’t know.”

  “Now that it’s out, will you?”

  “Will I what?”

  “Marry me?”

  “Grady!” She was so shocked she could barely breathe. “I hardly know you.”

  “Go ahead, ask me anything you want to know.”

  “What size shoe do you wear?”

  “Ten and a half.”

  Standing, she walked across the room. “I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.”

  “I also eat cornflakes every night about midnight and leave my dirty clothes lying on the bathroom floor.”

  “Stop!” The whole thing was so ludicrous she couldn’t help giggling. “You’re crazy.”

  “I’m serious.”

  “Grady, please, be reasonable.”

  “I am. My housekeeper is retiring, Angela is in desperate need of a mother’s influence. I’ve had three housekeepers in three years. The kid needs someone who isn’t going to move in and out of her life every few months.”

  “What about love? I don’t love you, and you certainly don’t love me.”

  Grady exhaled a heavy breath and pushed the hair off his forehead. “I knew this was going to come up sooner or later. You’re looking for the magic words?”

  “No,” she answered honestly. “I’d be shocked if I heard them. It just seems to me that a marriage between a man and a woman should be built on something stronger than a little girl’s need for a mother.”

  “I find you desirable, Cathy. We’d have a good life.”

  “A marriage needs more than mutual attraction,” she said, and breathed in deeply.

  “I agree.”

  She flattened a hand against her breast. “Why me?” Grady was handsome enough to attract any woman.

  “Several reasons.” His voice suggested that it was all academic, that feelings, emotions, didn’t really have a part in this kind of logical decision. “The first and most important one is that Angela thinks you’re wonderful.”

  “Don’t forget Peterkins. She’s pretty crazy about him, too.”

  “Oh yes, let’s not forget the dog. But more than that, you’re a sensible woman. Neither one of us is a teenager lost in the throes of passion. You’ve been hurt, I’ve been hurt and am looking to build a new life. I like you, I like you very much.”

  “I like you, too. But marriage?” She shook her head, rejecting the idea.

  “I don’t expect an answer tonight.”

  “That’s encouraging,” she said, on a dry note.

  “Think it over and give me a call next week sometime. You have my number, don’t you?”

  Arms cradling her waist, Cathy nodded. She watched as Grady emptied his cup. He looked tired. Lines of fatigue were penciled about his mouth and his eyes. He stood and placed the cup in the sink. Peterkins raised his head, watching his movements.

  “You’re exhausted.”

  “I must be.” He ran a weary hand over his face. “I decided I’d rather do without a kiss than fight that mutt.”

  Cathy smiled. “Peterkins is no mutt.” Lifting her fingertip to her mouth, she blew him a kiss. “That’ll have to hold you.”

  He lifted his gaze, his eyes seeking hers. “I’ll be waiting.”

  She let him out, locking the door and leaning against it for support after he’d left. “The man’s crazy,” she told Peterkins. “And I’d be even crazier to consider marrying him.”

  The dog followed her into the bedroom, jumping on the bed and snuggling into a tight ball at the foot of the mattress while she undressed, removed her makeup, and brushed her hair. “It’s a stupid idea for everyone concerned.”

  Peterkins lifted his head, cocking it at an inquiring angle. Cathy stretched out an arm, pointing a finger toward the front door. “You wouldn’t believe what he just suggested.” Slipping the long flannel gown over her head, she threw back the covers and climbed between the sheets. After reading for a while, she turned out the light. But it was a long time before she went to sleep.

  Linda was waiting for Cathy at school the next morning. “When did you start seeing Grady Jones?” she asked, the minute Cathy sat down in the teacher’s lounge.

  “A while ago,” she answered cryptically. “How’d you know that was Grady?”

  “Someone told me he was the best-looking man in Fairbanks. One look yesterday and I knew it had to be him. You’ve been holding out on me, Cathy Thompson.”

  “No, I haven’t,” she denied untruthfully. “And don’t you dare tell him he’s so good-looking, his head’s too big as it is.” Cathy pushed the coffee aside, its taste bitter and unsatisfying. She hadn’t slept well last night. She didn’t need until next week to make her decision. It was made. It would be crazy to marry Grady, particularly for the reasons he gave. The proposal had to be the most unromantic thing she’d ever heard.

  “How can you go out with someone that handsome and keep from drooling?” Linda questioned.

  Rising impatiently to her feet, Cathy rubbed her arms as a sudden chill came over her. “In Grady’s case, it’s easy.”

  Linda’s hand stopped her. “Before you go to class I want to tell you something.” She lowered her gaze. “Dan and I are contacting an adoption agency this week. After yesterday’s disappointment, we’ve decided we can’t go on like this.”

  Cathy witnessed a renewed glow of excitement sparkle in her friend’s eyes. “Is this what you want?”

  “Oh yes,” Linda breathed. “I’ve wanted to do this all year. It’s been Dan who’s been dragging his feet.”

  Squeezing Linda’s hand, Cathy offered an encouraging smile. “Put me down as a reference if it’ll help.”

  During her lunch hour, Cathy tried to phone Grady. No need to keep him waiting since she’d made up her mind. As her finger dialed the number she couldn’t help smiling. There wasn’t anyone more arrogant in the world than Grady Jones to believe a woman would accept a marriage proposal on his terms.

  “Alaska Cargo.” A gruff, impatient voice came over the line.

  “Good afternoon, Ray. This is Cathy Thompson. Can I talk to Grady?”

  The gruff voice softened perceptibly. “He’s in the air, miss, flying some hunters to camp. Be back this evening. Want me to tell him you called?”

  “Please.” Replacing the receiver, she released a slow breath. The sooner this whole business was over, the better she’d feel. Grady would be out of her life forever. At least she wasn’t naïve enough to believe he would waste any more time on her. Once he’d received her answer, he’d move on to the next most likely candidate. Poor girl.

  Because she hadn’t gotten her mail the day before, Cathy swung by the post office on her way home from school. An accumulation of bills greeted her, and she threw them on the seat beside her as she drove home. Not until she was inside the house did she notice the letter.

  One look at the handwriting told her the letter was from Steve.
For a moment, it was as if someone had slammed a fist into her stomach. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t swallow—even standing became impossible. A hand reached out and gripped the back of the kitchen chair as the letter fell from her hand onto the tabletop.

  Peterkins barked expectantly, demanding attention, and still Cathy couldn’t move.

  “It’s from Steve,” she said, her voice soft, almost choking. “You remember Steve, don’t you, Peterkins?”

  The spaniel gave her a funny look, jumping up on his hind paws, seeking the affection she usually offered when she walked in the door.

  Acting out of habit, she leaned down and ruffled his long black ears. Straightening, she blindly hung her coat in the bedroom and slipped off her shoes, replacing them with fuzzy slippers.

  The letter seemed to radiate heat, drawing her back into the kitchen. Like a moth drawn irresistibly to a flame, she was attracted to the letter. Ten months had passed since their argument, seven since the wedding. What did he want now? Now, when she was just beginning to build a new life for herself. Now, when she was beginning to feel again.

  The phone rang, jolting her into reality. Her attention swiveled to the kitchen wall, and she mentally shook herself before lifting the receiver.

  “Hello.”

  “Cathy, is that you? This is MaryAnne.”

  “MaryAnne,” she repeated, stunned. “Is everything all right?”

  Her sister’s laugh echoed over a line that linked several thousand miles. “Everything’s wonderful. I’ve got some fantastic news,” she said, and took a deep breath. “News so good, I couldn’t wait for a letter. Mom and I decided to phone. Guess what. No”—she laughed again—“don’t guess. You’re going to be an aunt. Steve and I are going to have a baby.”

  “A baby.” All these months Cathy had dreaded the thought that her sister would become pregnant. Steve and her sister’s child. The pain was suddenly so sharp she could barely breathe.

  “I haven’t even told Steve yet. Mom went to the doctor with me this morning, and we decided to phone you. I’m at Mom’s now.”

  “Congratulations.” Somehow the word made it past the huge lump forming in her throat.

  A short silence followed. “Are you all right, Sis? You don’t sound right.”