Yours To Love Yours To Take
Page 5
Surendra felt his temper rise.
“You have absolutely no idea what you have done. I can’t believe you didn’t feel the need to discuss it with me.”
“Surendra, I am here for her now.” Salim said, protectively. “We both knew what we were signing on. So relax. Look at her.” He said, pulling her closer. “Does it look like she is not okay?”
Surendra stared at Salim for a couple of seconds and then at Anita, her heightened color not escaping his experienced eyes.
“God be with you, Anita. But always remember, this home is still as much yours as it’s mine.” He cut the connection.
Chapter 4
Attraction, proximity and rejection
Salim could feel her heart racing like crazy. On a sudden impulse he pulled her to him, her body pressed against his. Surprised, her eyes widened and her heart skipped a beat.
“Was the kiss in the hospital your first kiss?” Salim whispered in her ear.
She lowered her eyes.
“Shall I take that as a ‘yes’?
Her palms were pressed on his chest and she clutched his shirt lightly. She feared she would hurt him.
“Look at me.” Salim said as he raised her chin.
Her eyes obeyed his command. “Why did you agree to my crazy idea?”
Anita felt a familiar tug at her heart. She didn’t have an answer. She lowered her eyes.
His hand captured hers and pressed it on his chest. “Do you feel the pain here, the helplessness, and the loss? Can you relate to my pain? Do you feel the same?”
He caressed her soft cheeks with the back of his hands. “Why don’t I see the turmoil I feel every day and night in you? Why don’t I see the same suffering I am going through in you?” With swiftness, his hands gripped her neck. Her eyes widened in alarm. “A little pressure and this soft tender neck of yours could easily snap . . .” He knew she could easily push him away but she stood her ground. This strength of hers had always surprised him, as it did even now. “Don’t you feel burdened? Are you able to live with a part of your soul missing?” His hands moved up and down her long neck. “Are you able to live knowing that you have taken Ananya’s place? Are you enjoying being with me? She wasn’t my wife but she was my partner in every sense of the word. Did you think that you could have me too just like everything else?”
While his hands were playing havoc on Anita’s skin, his hurtful words were making her heart cry.
Salim’s eyes had an odd glint she didn’t like. Smiling, he grabbed her hand, took her to the room and made her stand in front of Ananya’s photo.
“Do you know she always had a smile on her face? My last living memory of her is the way she was laughing right before the accident.”
He must have had some alcohol along with his painkillers, Anita thought. Probably that was the cause of his outburst. She held his arm and motioned him to bed.
He laughed aloud. “So eager,” he said and pushed her to the bed.
She hadn’t seen that coming and she fell on her back. Before she could get up he sat, half leaning on her. Anita was shocked by his closeness. His hand caressed her cheeks, her jaw line, and her chin. Letting her face go he balanced himself on his left hand and kissed her under her jawline. She felt the surge of electricity pass through her.
One moment she was trying to make him lie down and the next she was under him. This sensation was new to her, but a nagging feeling persisted that he was comparing her to Ananya. It could be the medicine and alcohol playing tricks with his mind. He could be even imagining her to be Ananya. Why, it could be a desperate attempt by his mind to see Ananya in his arms!
She turned towards Salim and placed her palms on his chest. She locked her eyes with his. She didn’t have to communicate using sign language, her eyes spoke to him.
Shaking his head, Salim moved away from her and sat straight. Getting up, Anita sat still for a moment, trying to gather herself.
She was getting attracted to this brooding, hurtful guy. His touch was igniting new sensations in her body. But it was not right. She can’t get involved with this man. It is sure to end badly, hurting her, hurting him. Taking a deep breath she placed her hands on his shoulder. He turned towards her and she saw that his eyes were clouded. Motioning him to the bed, she helped him with the sheet. He didn’t say a word but closed his eyes. Anita went over to the other side of the bed and lay down.
~~~*~~~
Few days back, Shimla
After hours of painful waiting, the Doctor finally came out to tell them the operation was successful except Salim will have to wait for three months before going back to work, that too depending upon his improvement.
“He is a surgeon.” Milind told her when Anita looked at Milind quizzically. She nodded and thanked him. Milind smiled back. He liked this girl. Hope Salim is as good to her as she is to him, Milind thought.
By night a semi-conscious Salim was brought back to the room. He smiled at Anita and motioned her to come closer. She went near him. He parted his lips to say something but his voice was a whisper so when she leaned towards him he pulled her to him and kissed her on the lips.
“My wood nymph . . .” He said.
She moved back and swallowed. Surendra just looked at the roof and took a deep breath. Milind came and squeezed her shoulder. Anita knew as much as Surendra and Milind that Salim had mistaken her for Ananya, his ‘Wood Nymph.’
It shouldn’t have bothered her, but a sharp pain tugged at her heart. She walked to the window and looked out, her fingers tracing the outline of her lips. She closed her eyes. Her once simple life was now too complicated.
Surendra got up to leave and then stopped. “Milind, keep tabs on her please” he requested. “She is all I have left.” Milind could feel Surendra’s pain. He wished Surendra had met Salim under better circumstances.
After two days, Anita asked Salim if they could go to her place. Salim vehemently denied and told Milind to make preparations to go to Bangalore.
Milind looked at Anita and back at Salim.
“Would you like to go for a walk, Anita?” Milind asked.
Salim looked at Milind oddly and Anita looked confused.
“It’s been so many days since you have been holed up in this room. Why don’t you go for walk? I will be with Milind until then.” Anita understood he wanted to speak with Salim alone. She didn’t know what she would do but she wanted to speak to Salim as well. But she thought it better to let Milind speak with him first.
“What about her?” Milind asked as soon as he was sure Anita had left.
“What about her?” Salim asked.
Milind realized Salim will not make this easier. “Salim, you married her. So if you go home what will happen to her?”
“What will happen to her? She will live as my wife, with me.”
Milind stood up. “Say it clearly, Salim.” Milind stood towering over his cousin, challenging him.
“Anita goes with me wherever I go, be it heaven or hell.”
Sighing, Milind leaned over so that his face was close to Salim’s.
“I don’t know what’s going on in your head but I will be around as her guardian. Take my word.” Milind straightened himself and left the room.
He found Anita sitting in the garden, just staring into space. He went and sat beside her.
“I will take you home. You will need to pack your stuff. Welcome to our family.”
Lots of emotions played across Anita’s face. Milind felt a sudden urge to protect this girl from all the pain. It was easy for the Verma clan to feel protective towards someone and accept them into the family. He was yet to inform about this marriage to anyone in the family. Salim had asked him to wait. He had told very clearly he would introduce Anita to all. And as far as the accident was concerned he had asked Milind to inform them he is absolutely fine but he didn’t want anyone to crowd him. The situation here had made him stop himself from his usual theatrics.
“Let’s go, Anita.” Milind said.
Anita got up and motioned, “You stay here with Salim. I will go and pack my stuff.”
It would be hard for her to go home alone, with all the memories rushing in.
“I am coming with you. You have not gone home since you knew about Ananya. So I want to be there if you need anything. If you can do so much for my brother I can do this much edethiyamma!”
She asked him what it meant. He smiled.
“It means Sister-in-law in Malayalam, the wife of an elder brother. We are adopted from different parts of India but our root, that is our grandmother, is a Malayalee who started our ‘Clan’ as we call it. You are going to meet her soon. We have a big family. Hope they don’t intimidate you.”
Milind saw that Anita’s house was kept beautifully. He had expected she would be living in a palatial bungalow of sorts. But it was a small house with two bedrooms and minimalistic furniture. He walked around to see the house. Anita had gone directly into her room. He peered into the other bedroom and the shock he felt was strong. The room had big photographs of Ananya. Two life size portraits adorned the walls. This was a danger zone for both Anita and Salim.
He realized he needed to give at least a little background of Salim to Anita. Maybe she would understand him better. He asked her to sit with him on the sofa and told her how Salim’s parents had died in an accident and his relatives thought of him as a burden. And as fate would have it, his dad’s boss knew aunt Dia, Salim’s would-be mother. Dia was in Hyderabad for a seminar. When she heard from Salim’s dad’s boss, she didn’t think twice and adopted the boy and as they say, the rest is history.
Milind noticed how Anita heard everything and nodded with a smile. Milind hoped it would give her more insight into Salim’s present anguish. Anita went inside to complete her packing.
Then he heard a sound outside the door and a knock. It was Salim. The last thing he wanted.
“I wanted to check Ananya’s stuff before leaving.” Salim said and entered the house.
Anita peeped and was shocked to see him. Salim didn’t even acknowledge her. He just walked in and looked around.
“Bro! You don’t want . . .” Salim was already at the door to Ananya’s room. Milind heard him take a deep breath.
Salim called out to the guys standing outside. “Pack everything in here, leave the furniture.” He was about to turn when he stopped. “Take the chair.”
He walked out of the room and his eyes locked with Anita’s. She felt her knees about to give way. Anita leaned on the wall and took a deep breath. Salim sat on the sofa. The house was full of Ananya’s photos.
“Anita!” He walked into her room and she had to move away to let him in. He picked up Ananya’s photos. “I want all the albums.”
She nodded.
“Why are you here? Why did you discharge yourself? You could have waited for me to come.” Milind asked.
“They told me the discharge papers were ready so I just had to sign.”
Soon everything was packed. Salim signed for the stuff to be shipped to his Bangalore house. He told Anita to wrap up her stuff, resign from her job. She emailed her resignation hoping she would be able to get a job when she returned.
~~~*~~~
Present day, Bangalore
Anita felt constricted. She took a couple of deep breaths and opened her eyes. Salim had removed his cast sometime in the night and his arm was around her. She knew she couldn’t remove it without hurting him. When she tried to lift his arm, Salim pulled her closer to him and nuzzled her hair. She closed her eyes. Her stiffness was soon transpired to him.
Salim opened his eyes and saw that he was holding her. Anita seemed asleep with her eyes shut tightly. He loosened the hold. Taking a deep breath she tried to ease his arms away from her. She raised her eyes to make sure he was asleep and her eyes clashed with his. After a brief silence, he removed his hand and tried to flex his arms and flinched. Soon she was helping him into his cast.
As the day progressed both of them behaved as if nothing had happened last night.
She steered clear of Salim as he started his physiotherapy sessions. Salim seemed to be in a perpetual bad mood. He didn’t stop jabbing at her with hurtful words. It felt as if he was being hateful purposefully to make her stay away.
Sometimes when it was too much to bear she asked Seema to give him the medicines instead. Nowadays she could no longer feel his pain but only his hatred. Anita started to distance herself from him. Slowly, Salim also started to accept her absence.
He was going through one of the medical journals one day when he felt a pair of soft arms engulfing him in an embrace. He smiled. It had been a long time since he had felt this warm comfortable hug. He realized how much he had missed his mother lately. He had forbidden her to come, and to avoid her encounter with Anita he had called his mother more frequently than he normally did. He had never expected her to drop by unannounced. She had never done that and had always respected his privacy. While Sujal, his brother, had stayed with mom Salim had preferred his own place. Dia had accepted that with a smile.
Soon Mia joined in to give him a hug. Mia was his aunt. Both Mia and Dia stayed together with Piyush and Sujal their respective sons. He gave both women a warm hug and kissed their foreheads. They were surprised; he usually shied from showing love. Both of their eyes moistened.
Chapter 5
His-story, repent and antsy
Salim was grateful that Dia had taken him in after his parent’s death. He knew his own relatives had thought of him as a burden. When Salim first met Dia he was already taller than her, lanky with his chin up. One smile from Dia and he had suddenly felt disarmed. His lips had, on their own accord, curved in a smile. She had walked up to him and given him a hug. “Welcome to the family my son!” Dia had said. In a moment he was sucked into this family and felt immediately at home. Even his stoic silence was accepted without comment. But the Vermas loved to show their affection with hugs and kisses. In his own way Salim enjoyed them too.
“Reunion aside, you need to explain a lot.” Dia hugged him.
“Yes! High time you stop hiding.” Mia added as she hugged Salim. They took him to his room, and Dia opened the door and asked, “What is this?”
He had expected to find Anita but his mother and aunt were asking about Ananya’s pictures in the room. He took them inside and made them sit. It seemed they were awed with all the pictures of Ananya.
Salim called for the housekeeper and then replied. “This is Ananya.”
Dia and Mia smiled. “And . . . ?” Mia prompted.
Just then Seema came into the room with water for the guests and said her hellos.
Salim looked at Seema and shook his head slightly. She nodded. He was sure Seema understood his subtle gesture to keep Anita away from Dia and Mia.
“May I get you something to drink, or should I serve lunch?” Seema asked.
“We had lunch already but we will be there for dinner.”
Salim’s worries were coming true. Seema left for the kitchen to make dinner preparations.
“So where is she?”
“Who?” Salim asked, his eyes wide at Mia’s question.
“Ananya, of course.”
“She is dead, Amma.”
There was absolute silence as Dia and Mia clasped their mouth. Dia came to him and made him sit on the bed next to Mia.
“In the same accident as yours?”
Salim nodded at the question.
Dia took a deep breath and pulled him to her and held him tight. He leaned onto his mother’s bosom and let the pain in him flow for the first time
. Slow painful sobs wracked his body. Dia rocked him gently and Mia placed her hand on his shoulder as mother and son embraced each other with tears flowing from their eyes.
“I’m glad Milind was with you.”
And so was Anita, Salim thought. Anita had held him together in her own odd way and stopped him from being self-destructive. If his mom and aunt saw Anita they would never be able to come to terms with what their son had done. They had not brought him up to be so vengeful that without a second thought he had pulled an innocent girl into his hell, just because she had Ananya’s face.
~~~*~~~
Ananya: A wood nymph
Salim had never once been enthralled by a woman before. Her sweetness, her beauty and her innocence had left him completely spellbound. He was in Mumbai for a conference. After the conference, he was speaking to another Doctor regarding a surgery scheduled for next week when he had typed in the name of his hotel in his GPS. As he drove on in twilight, the GPS navigator continued to give him directions. Though long, he was enjoying the drive. The drive was beautiful and at times he got the glimpse of the sea or a whiff of the brine wind. He didn’t remember the last time he had relaxed. He usually hated wasting time but he needed to unwind today after the stressful surgery so he continued wherever his GPS was taking him.
He was one of the most sought-after Neurosurgeons in India. He performed surgeries in quite a few hospitals and believed in a perfect hospital environment. He never charged his fees if his patients were kids or people of lower income background. His demeanor was so serious that often people around him commented upon his need to ‘loosen up’ a bit. He didn’t mind the family joking around, but if anyone else did they were in for a tongue lash. His family had started to complain of not having seen him for a long time. His Granny seemed very old and fragile the last time he met her. He promised himself he’d visit her as soon as he reached Bangalore. He realized his GPS had led him to a very lonely place as the moon lit the expanse. It was a farm. Smiling, he realized there was an ethereal quality about the place. An odd sense of peace settled on him. He was confused when he heard the GPS announcing he had reached the destination when he noticed a small opening by the side of the road.