Jerkwater

by Jamie Zerndt

  “You sure you want to part with this?”

  “I’m sure.”

  “I hope this means you’re letting it go and forgiving yourself. Even though there’s really nothing to forgive.”

  “I guess. Something like that, anyway.”

  “Well, good. Now I better get a stiff drink out to Father before he tries to convert Jenna.”

  “Good luck with that.”

  “Oh, one more thing. I want to set it on fire once we launch it. Any ideas on how we do that?”

  Douglas took a bite of his sandwich and, with his mouth full, said, “I might have one.”

  As Douglas headed over to Shawna’s, he didn’t have a clue what he was going to say. Hey, sorry to hear you nearly killed someone. Wanna come over and light a camper on fire with us? When he got there, though, he found Shawna sitting with Elmer next to a pile of Seven’s blankets.

  “Hey. Hey, Elmer.” Shawna looked different to Douglas. Like somebody had sucked out whatever it was that made Shawna Shawna and left her there all hollowed out. “Can you tell me what happened?”

  She looked at Douglas, and immediately he wanted to hold her. She looked frightened. And he’d never really seen her look scared before. “I screwed up is all. Nothing new.”

  “I don’t know what to say. Do you think he’s okay?”

  “Has your mom called the police?”

  “No. She wouldn’t do that.”

  “I guess it really doesn’t matter much either way. I don’t care what happens to me anymore. I’m just done, you know?”

  Douglas had felt that way after his dad died. Or thought he had felt that way. But, obviously, this was a whole different kind of done. “Didn’t you go check on him, Elmer? How’d he seem to you?”

  Elmer shrugged. “Not good.”

  “Well, yeah. I’m guessing he wasn’t looking his Sunday best.”

  “Elmer went over there with his dad. His dad is sort of like the Chippewa version of Peyton Crane.”

  “Hey.”

  “Well, he is. He’s a drunk, and he hates white people.”

  Elmer shrugged again and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. “My dad talked to him, explained to him what would happen if he said a word to the police.”

  “And you think he’ll keep quiet?”

  “I know he’ll keep quiet.”

  Douglas was quiet for a bit. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know exactly why Elmer was so sure. In the end, it didn’t matter so long as Shawna was safe. When Elmer got up and started putting the blankets in the shed, Douglas stopped him. “So I know this is kind of weird, but we’re going to launch our Scamp into the lake tonight and then try to set it on fire. We’re all putting things inside that we want to say goodbye to. Would you want to put one of those blankets in? Sort of like a burial kind of thing?”

  “Can I put myself in?” Shawna said, taking a drag off Elmer’s cigarette, something Douglas had never seen her do before.

  “I don’t think my mom would go for that. Or the priest that’s there.”

  “That’s a shame.” She looked down at the blankets Elmer was holding. “Sure, why not?”

  “Okay, good. And you should bring your bow and arrows. Would you be up for that? It might be therapeutic.”

  Shawna shrugged. “Why not?” Her voice sounded bottomless, like you could drop a coin down into it and never hear the splash. She took the topmost blanket from Elmer and handed it to Douglas before going into the garage for the bow. When she came back, Shawna walked up to Douglas and said, “Do you believe in spirits?”

  “I don’t know,” he said, thinking of the loon and what she’d said about spirits traveling from bigger to smaller animals. “Maybe.”

  “I do,” she said. “I believe in spirits.”

  For a second, he thought maybe she was going to tell him something, something that would make sense out of everything, but instead she and Elmer just started off towards his house. The words My dad died came into his head, but it seemed almost laughable now. How small of a thing it was to say. How ridiculously selfish.

  Once Shawna had tossed the blanket in the Scamp, she grabbed a shiny pamphlet of some sort from her back pocket, but Elmer stopped her before she could throw it inside. Instead, she removed one of her earrings and threw that in. When Douglas set about dousing the inside of the Scamp with gasoline, he saw the earring there on the floor. It was a yellow fishing lure. He didn’t know much about lures, but it looked like an old one to him, something bulky and made from wood that people no longer used much. When Douglas finished, Marty took the can from him and emptied what was left onto the roof.

  “This is nuts. Do you think it’ll actually work?”

  “No, but if it makes Mom happy...”

  Marty jumped down and together they tied two of the inner tubes, one on each side, to the bottom of the Scamp. It seemed much larger to Douglas now, almost like a small ship they’d be launching into the water.

  “That should do it. Even if it doesn’t work, we’re going to see a show.”

  “A shit show,” Marty said, taking the steps back up to the house. He stopped a minute and nudged a piece of rebar with his boot. “You did a nice job on these, by the way. Norm would have liked them.”

  “Yeah, thanks. Maybe he would have.”

  Kay was waiting at the top of the hill with a drink in hand, watching the living room windows pulse with TV light.

  This could be any night.

  Norm could be in there.

  She studied Douglas’s steps, how they curved and meandered down the hill. When Douglas and Marty reached the top, she suggested they christen them.

  “The steps?”

  “Sure.”

  “Okay by me. But don’t we need champagne or something?”

  “I think Jim Beam will suffice, don’t you? To Norm,” Kay said and poured some of her drink onto the steps. “May he always have Paris.” She then turned to Father Jason and asked him to bless the Scamp before they sent it down the hill. The priest dutifully raised his glass to the camper.

  “Let us pray that everything dear you hold inside will find the peace it so surely deserves. Amen!”

  Kay, trying not to laugh, motioned for Marty to get ready to release their hostage.

  “On the count of three. Everybody now... One, two, three!”

  With that Marty disengaged the clutch on the winch, letting the cable unspool, sending the Scamp rolling down the hill. There was a gap between the birch trees wide enough to fit two campers through, but the Scamp only just managed to squeeze by, the side of it scraping bark from the trees as it hurtled past into the water where it immediately capsized, turning on its side with the door now facing the sky. But the inner tubes had managed to do their work, and the Scamp was floating now, lopsided as it was, out toward the center of the lake.

  Kay patted Father Jason on the back. “Cripes, it actually worked.”

  “Oh, ye of little faith. I knew it would all along.”

  “C’mon, Father. We aren’t finished yet.”

  Kay looked over at Shawna, wanting to say something to her that would give her some peace, but she knew there were no words for such a thing. Instead, she quietly grabbed her hand and held it as they all walked down to the dock with the sun setting on the other side of the lake. Everyone remained quiet as Shawna handed Douglas the bow.

  “This is all you.”

  “But...”

  “But nothing. I’ll help you.”

  Shawna set one of the arrows in the bow, then guided Douglas’s arm so that he was on target. She then lit the end of one of the arrows, and, from behind, helped Douglas pull the bowstring back. She whispered something in his ear, and he nodded, aiming the arrow a touch higher before sending it up into the air. The arrow missed, though, sputtering out safely in the water a few feet shy of the Scamp.<
br />
  “Maybe setting it on fire isn’t such a good idea,” Kay said to no one in particular.

  “No, we can do this.”

  Shawna loaded the bow again and, when Douglas was ready, lit another sock. Douglas’s arm was shaking, but this time the arrow landed squarely on the side of the Scamp, flames quickly crawling up and over the camper. Everyone stood around quietly, reverently, watching as the Scamp lit up the lake, creating something like a floating bonfire. Neighbors on the other side soon came out of their houses to watch. And while Kay couldn’t be sure, she thought she could see moths billowing out through the open door along with the smoke, turning to embers as they floated skyward.

  Then, just as Kay was wondering if the moths were suffering, if she were no better than Norm abandoning all those poor fish in the bait box, colored lights came flashing and rolling through the trees behind them. Two squad cars pulled into their driveway.

  “Is that for us?” Marty said. “How could they have found out so quickly?”

  “They couldn’t have,” Douglas said. “Let me go see what they want.”

  “Looks like they’re coming to us,” Kay said, grabbing her son’s hand, preparing for the worst.

  “Throwing yourselves a little party here?” Officer Christopher said once he reached the dock, two other officers behind him. “Mind if I ask what the occasion is?”

  Douglas, out of habit from dealing with him down at the shop, was the one to respond. “No party. We just had a little accident.”

  “So you accidentally set fire to that structure in the water?”

  “Well, no, but we were trying to tow our camper away when it came loose and ended up there in the water.”

  “Why’s it floating then?”

  Marty, not about to miss out on the fun, said, “That’s because of the inner tubes, Chris. We were trying to protect the bottom from getting damaged. As you can see, that didn’t quite work out.”

  “And that?” Officer Christopher said, pointing to the bow hanging at Douglas’s side.

  When Douglas didn’t seem to have any explanation, Kay took the bow from him. “That camper is infested with gypsy moths. We were going to dispose of it properly, but once it got loose, we thought this might be the easiest solution. You should give us a medal, seeing how many of those damn things we just torched.”

  Officer Christopher shook his head. “Well, lucky for you, that’s not what we’re here for. You mind if I take a look at that bow you’ve got? And one of those arrows while you’re at it?”

  Douglas glanced back at Shawna who was standing directly behind his mom. As far as he knew, she hadn’t used the bow and arrow on Peyton Crane. “Sure,” he mumbled and handed it over.

  “Everybody, just stay put now. This won’t take long.”

  Officer Christopher motioned to one of the other officers who then handed him a plastic bag. Inside the bag was a burnt arrow. A light was shined on the bag, then on Shawna’s bow and arrow, and back again to the bag. After some whispering among the three, Officer Christopher turned his light on the group, shining it directly in one face and then another, before stopping on Shawna’s.

  “Are you Shawna Reynolds by any chance?”

  Shawna stepped forward. “I’m Shawna Reynolds.”

  “And this here is your bow?”

  “It is.”

  “We received an anonymous tip and believe you may be the one responsible for the destruction of the town loon. We’ll be taking you down to the station now for questioning. Do you understand?”

  “I understand.”

  Stand tall, girl. We are warriors. Don’t ever forget that.

  Shawna pulled the brochure from her back pocket and handed it to Elmer. “Sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I didn’t like that place anyway.”

  “Yes, you did.”

  “We can still go, Shawna. Maybe we just have to wait a little.”

  “Will you talk to my naan? Just don’t bring her down there tonight. She’s already seen enough police stations.”

  Elmer nodded and Officer Christopher motioned for one of the officers to take Shawna up to the squad car. “Be sure to read her her rights.”

  Douglas looked over at his mom who seemed just as relieved as he was. Which made what he was about to do all that much easier. “I helped.”

  Officer Christopher took a step toward Douglas. “You’ll want to be very careful right now.”

  “I was there. I helped her. I lit the arrows.”

  Officer Christopher shook his head. “What about Burning Woman there?” he said, motioning toward Jenna. “She help, too?”

  “No. Just me.”

  “Okay, have it your way.”

  Douglas turned to Jenna and his mom. “I’m sorry. But I was there, you know?”

  Jenna didn’t say anything but, instead, simply put her arm around Kay’s shoulders. Douglas, though, could tell Jenna wasn’t fazed much by what was happening. His mom, too, seemed pretty coolheaded. Maybe, after everything that had happened lately, Douglas and Shawna about to climb into the back of a police car didn’t quite rank up there with the end of the world as it once might have.

  “It’s okay,” Kay said quietly. “We’ll see you down there soon.”

  “So,” Marty said, following after the officers as they started up the steps. “Seeing as Norm was such an upstanding member of the community and everything, maybe you guys could give them a break?” When Officer Christopher didn’t respond, Marty added, “Unless, of course, you want all those unpaid shop receipts Norm kept over the years to find their way to The Daily Globe.”

  Officer Christopher stopped and, for once, turned to address Marty head on. “And who do you suppose would pay for the damage then?”

  “By my calculations, the city’s already been paid,” Marty said evenly. “And then some.”

  Officer Thomas stared off over Marty’s head at the lake, the temple in his forehead visibly throbbing. “Fine. Douglas can go.”

  Marty took another step forward. “Shawna, too. She’s like family. To them, I mean.”

  After a few seconds, Officer Thomas turned and mumbled something to the other officers before turning to Kay.

  “I’m going to let this one slide, Mrs. O’Brien. But I don’t want to see anything sticking out of that lake come morning. Do we understand one another?”

  “All you’ll see is some lovely morning fog,” Kay said and smiled at Marty. “That’s a promise.”

  Once the police had gone, Kay invited everyone up to the house for a nightcap. If there had ever been a time to celebrate, she figured, now was it. “I’m going to get Norm’s fishing pole for you before I forget,” she told Marty as the group headed inside. “It’s the least I could do.” Marty began to protest, but Kay wasn’t having it. Besides, she knew right where the pole was. After the ambulance took Norm away, she had put it back where he’d always kept it, just inside the tin door of the shack. After she’d found the pole, Kay hesitated there by the dock, staring out at the now smoldering Scamp. She thought about Seven, hoping that he forgave her and that his spark had turned to flame and was now racing through the heavens. Something then flashed in the water near the bait box, and she couldn’t help but imagine a sunfish caught in there. A giant one. With a hole in its side.

  She stood there, waiting for what, exactly, she didn’t know. Maybe she was waiting for Norm’s voice, for him to apologize for never telling her about the poetry, to tell her that he was sorry she was losing her mind. But all she could hear was a loon keening away somewhere out in the dark. She looked up at the yellow glow of the kitchen window and the people standing there, then at the new steps, at the way they swam and eddied like a stream down the hill, the way they pushed out against their borders and fanned and widened as they approached the dock. Like they were lost and trying to find their way.

 
Sign up for new releases at www.jamiezerndt.com

  THE KOREAN WORD FOR BUTTERFLY

  Set against the backdrop of the 2002 World Cup and rising anti-American sentiment due to a deadly accident involving two young Korean girls and a U.S. tank, The Korean Word For Butterfly is told from three alternating points-of-view:

  Billie, the young wanna-be poet looking for adventure with her boyfriend who soon finds herself questioning her decision to travel so far from the comforts of American life;

  Moon, the ex K-pop band manager who now works at the English school struggling to maintain his sobriety in hopes of getting his family back;

  And Yun-ji , a secretary at the school whose new feelings of resentment toward Americans may lead her to do something she never would have imagined possible.

  The Korean Word For Butterfly is a story about the choices we make and why we make them.

  It is a story, ultimately, about the power of love and redemption.

  THE ROADRUNNER CAFÉ

  One year after his father’s suicide, Carson Long feels cheated. He hates his father for leaving him and his sister, Georgie, alone. He hates him for turning his mother into a young widow who hasn’t left the house in months. And he hates his father for leaving behind his stupid tree. Four of them are planted outside the restaurant, one for each family member. That is until Carson’s mother, no longer able to stand the sight of the tree, hires a local landscaper to remove it in the middle of the night. This seemingly unremarkable act soon sets in motion of series of events in the small Colorado ski town that leaves more than just young Carson groping in the dark for answers.

  The Roadrunner Café is a unique novel told from multiple points of view about loss and the lengths some will go to heal the human heart. Ultimately, it is a story about what it takes to go on living even when everything in the world might be telling us it isn’t possible to.

  *Intended for adults and mature teens. Contains some profanity and violence.

  THE CLOUD SEEDERS

  Serve Your Country, Conserve Your Water, Observe Your Neighbor

  This is the slogan of the Sustainability Unit and of a country gone eco-hysterical. After nearly twelve months without rain and the hinges of the world barely still oiled, Thomas and his younger brother, Dustin, set out across a drought-ridden landscape in search of answers. What they discover along the way will change their lives, and their country, forever. The Cloud Seeders weaves humor and heartache, as well as poetry and science, into a unique crossover novel that defies categorization.