Come Back to Me

by Mila Gray

  Anyway, it’s why I’m cautious now about Kit. He’s like a shiny gold coin that I want to keep in my pocket and hold on to. I’m scared to take it out and look at it in case it gets tarnished, or in case someone catches a glimpse of it and tries to snatch it from me.

  ‘Is he coming here?’ Didi asks, tossing back my phone.

  I shake my head. ‘No, he’s going to his cousin’s. They always have a family lunch on Sundays.’ I try not to sound disappointed. The truth is I can’t wait to see him again, and not knowing when that will be is making me feel jittery.

  ‘What’s he like? Is he a good kisser?’ Didi asks, rolling onto her stomach.

  ‘The best,’ I say, closing my eyes and getting an instant flashback to that moment in the bushes when Kit put his arms around my waist and drew me towards him. I don’t have huge amounts of experience, having only kissed two other people before him, but now I can’t even remember the others. ‘Just . . . ’ I sigh, remembering Kit’s lips grazing up my throat and suppressing a shiver . . . ‘amazing.’

  ‘Who’s amazing?’

  Didi and I both jump. I spin around onto my back. It’s Jo, my brother’s girlfriend. Which means Riley can’t be far behind. Jo drops her bag into the sand and stands there squinting down at us. She puts her hands on her hips and a sly smile stretches her lips. ‘Are you two talking about boys?’

  ‘No,’ I say immediately, feeling my cheeks starting to get hot.

  ‘Yes,’ says Didi at exactly the same time.

  Jo cocks her head, her brown eyes narrowed. I kick Didi with my foot, managing to spray sand all over the towels. It’s not that I don’t trust Jo, but at the end of the day she’s Riley’s girlfriend and I can’t take a chance on him finding out about Kit and me.

  Didi flares her eyes at me, warning me to just go along with whatever she’s about to say next. ‘We were just discussing a guy I’m really into,’ she says, grinning up at Jo.

  ‘Who?’ Jo asks, collapsing down beside us, her eyes bright with the lure of gossip.

  ‘Um, I met him at a party,’ Didi says.

  I have to stop myself from pulling a face or kicking her again. Didi is the worst at lying. Where is she going with this?

  ‘What’s his name?’ Jo asks.

  Didi freezes. Her eyes dart briefly towards mine and I can see she’s starting to panic. ‘Peter,’ she suddenly blurts.

  Peter? Where did she get that from? I jump to my feet. I need to cut this conversation short before Didi digs a huge hole for us.

  ‘I’m going for a swim. Coming?’ I say, glaring down at her.

  Didi bounces to her feet. ‘Sure,’ she says, looking thoroughly relieved at the out I just threw her.

  ‘Thanks for that,’ I mumble as we jog to the water. ‘That was a totally awesome save.’

  ‘Any time,’ Didi answers, flashing me a smile.

  I do a double-take, not sure if she’s being serious.

  13

  Kit

  The sand is burning hot but I don’t even notice – I’m too busy scanning the bodies on the beach trying to find Jessa. I feel like I do just before we head out on manoeuvres: wired. Nerves and excitement and anticipation fighting it out to see who’ll win, my stomach balling into a tight knot.

  I spot Riley first, then Jo. They’re making out on a towel. I make a beeline for them, scanning the beach in all directions for a flash of blonde hair.

  ‘Would you two get a room?’ I say, dropping to the sand beside Riley.

  Riley opens one eye and gives me a look that tells me he’s going to get me back for this interruption later. I wink at him. Jo pushes Riley off her and straightens her bikini top.

  ‘Hey Kit,’ she says.

  I lean over and kiss her on the cheek. ‘Hey Jo, how’s things?’

  She gives a little shrug as if to say you know. There’s always a tinge of sadness behind Jo’s eyes as though being in love with Riley brings just as much pain as it does pleasure. I know it can’t be easy only getting a month with each other every nine months or so, and I also know that she’s tried to break if off with Riley a couple of times saying she can’t hack the long distance, but each time she’s relented, much to Riley’s relief.

  I watch her stroke a hand idly up Riley’s arm. He puts his arm around her, pulls her close and kisses the top of her head. I get a flashback to the night before when I did the same to Jessa, and automatically turn my head to start looking for her. She said last night that she’d be here, but I don’t want to be obvious and ask Riley where she is. Then I see the two empty towels lying beside Jo’s and spot a bag with a copy of The Hunger Games poking out of it. Jessa’s? Maybe. She’s a big reader.

  ‘So did you have fun last night?’ Jo asks.

  ‘Huh?’ I turn back to Jo, my heart leaping like a live animal in my chest. How does she know about last night?

  She gives me a cheeky smile. ‘You’ve only got four weeks of leave. Three weeks and five days, to be precise.’ She glances at Riley and I see that flash of melancholy in her eyes again and realize it’s not a flash at all, it’s permanent, like a crack in a rock. Plastering on a smile she turns back to me. ‘And knowing you, Kit, you’re not going to waste any time. So what did you get up to last night? Any gossip we should know about?’

  ‘Hey,’ I say, trying to deflect the question and wondering at the same time if maybe they know. Maybe they saw Jessa and me at the stoplight after all. ‘What are you implying?’

  ‘Last time you were back on leave you made the most of it, that’s all,’ says Jo, tossing her dark hair over her shoulder. I shoot a look in Riley’s direction but he’s still smirking. I’m just being paranoid, I tell myself. They can’t know anything.

  ‘That’s not true,’ I say, grateful that Jessa isn’t around to hear this conversation and keen to change the topic before she turns up.

  Riley smirks at me. ‘Bro, it is totally true. You had more women than Hugh Heffner.’

  ‘I did not,’ I mumble.

  Riley gives me a sceptical look in answer.

  ‘Just try not to break too many hearts this time around,’ Jo says with a pointed look in my direction.

  I turn away and scan the waves, glad that I’m wearing my mirrored shades. Jo’s referring to a friend of hers who she set me up on a date with last time I was back. I took her to dinner and we shared a goodnight kiss, but I never called her to ask her on a second date because I just wasn’t feeling it. Jo’s exaggerating to say I broke her friend’s heart. To my knowledge I’ve never broken any hearts. I’ve never dated anyone long enough for hearts to get involved. And Riley’s way off the mark likening me to Hugh Heffner. Last time I was back after nine months without female company I had some fun, for sure, but he’s making out it was dozens of women and it was more like three. And then Jessa appeared on my radar, and for the last two weeks of leave I didn’t so much as make eyes at another girl. This is exactly why Riley can’t find out about Jessa and me, though. He thinks I’m a total player. And nothing I say will ever make him think differently.

  My thoughts divert at that instant as though someone’s flipped the switch and killed all the power to my brain. The only thing that registers is the sight of Jessa walking towards me. She’s wearing the same yellow bikini she was wearing the first time I properly noticed her curves. My mouth drops open as though it’s on a loose hinge. My memory didn’t do her justice.

  A tidal wave could hit the beach and I don’t think I’d be able to react. My focus is totally locked on Jessa as she walks up the beach, lifting her arms to shake out her hair which is plastered to her back. Water drips crystals down her stomach and legs. She looks like a Bond girl. No. Better than a Bond girl because there’s no effort to it, she isn’t even aware of how hot she is. She hasn’t yet noticed me, she’s too busy talking to her friend – what’s her name again? Didi, that’s it – but then she turns her head, sees me and freezes mid-step. A smile instantly lights up her face.

  I’m on my feet walking towards
her before I remember I’m supposed to be playing it cool in front of Riley, but it’s too late to drop back down to the sand and act nonchalant so I just stop and wait for her to get closer.

  ‘Hey,’ I say when Jessa draws near. Woah. I check myself. I sound way too eager. I clear my throat and try again. ‘How you doing?’

  Eyes front, I tell myself, fighting the urge to let my gaze wander south. In the background I see her friend Didi grinning like a lunatic and poking Jessa in the ribs. So subtle. I wonder how much Jessa told her about last night. Judging by the size of the grin, everything.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ Jessa asks, barely disguising her happiness. ‘I thought you had a family lunch to go to?’

  I pull off my sunglasses. I can’t say the words in front of Riley but I hope she can read the answer in my eyes. Because I wanted to see you.

  She bites back a smile.

  ‘I skipped out before dessert,’ I whisper.

  Riley clears his throat and Jessa glances nervously over my shoulder. Her back immediately straightens. She moves quickly past me and I turn around to see Riley staring up at me with eyes narrowed to slits.

  I put my sunglasses back on, feeling as transparent as a pane of glass. Crap. There’s no way we’re going to get away with this. The thing is I can’t stop staring at her. Invisible strings are yanking on my eyeballs, forcing them to turn in her direction. She’s bending over her bag rummaging for something – how the hell am I supposed to tear my eyes away? Only a blind man could legitimately claim not to have noticed her body. I almost feel like turning to Riley and just admitting I have the hots for his sister. It might be easier than trying to pretend I’m blind.

  ‘Didi,’ Jessa says. ‘Can you put some sunscreen on my back?’ She tosses the sunscreen into Didi’s lap.

  Didi is sitting on her towel reapplying her lipstick. For the first time I notice that Didi looks like she’s dressed for a photo shoot rather than the beach, in contrast to Jessa who isn’t wearing a scratch of make-up. I’m totally digging the natural look. It suits Jessa just fine.

  Didi glances at Jessa, then at me, and with a sly smile she wipes her hands on her wet bikini top and then buries them in the sand. She holds her palms up and shrugs. ‘Can’t. Sorry. Sandy hands.’ She picks up the sunscreen between thumb and forefinger and tosses it in my direction. ‘Maybe Kit can help.’

  I catch the sunscreen and Didi gives me a you can thank me later smile. I doubt Jessa will be thanking her later, judging by the evil look she’s throwing Didi’s way. She looks over at Riley, anxiety written across her face, but luckily Riley is distracted by something that Jo is saying and doesn’t seem to have heard.

  I stare at the bottle of sunscreen in my hand then figure what the hell, like I’m going to pass up this opportunity. I walk over to Jessa. Our eyes catch and something passes between us, a jolt of electricity that makes me feel alive and buzzing despite the fact I haven’t slept in close to thirty-six hours. I walk behind her and gently pull her backwards a few steps so we’re out of Riley’s sight line.

  Brushing her wet hair over one shoulder, I stroke the nape of her neck. Jessa shivers, which only makes me want to do it again. She takes her hair and twists it up high, holding it on top of her head. She’s got a light tan and a constellation of freckles on her shoulder that I want to trace with my fingertips. I could happily stand here all day just studying her, trying to imprint the sight of her onto my memory. I know that when I’m back on deployment this image, this snapshot of Jessa holding her hair up, sweat and salt water beading on her hairline, sun-kissed skin glowing, is one I’m going to reach for often.

  She looks at me over her shoulder with a quizzical expression and I realize that I’m standing there like a dork still holding the unopened sunscreen as she waits. Crap. Get it together. I squeeze out a generous handful and start applying, stroking my palms up her back and across her shoulder blades, conscious that this is the first time I’m actually touching her body, her bare skin.

  My fingers slide beneath the string of her bikini top and her back stiffens. She shudders, she actually shudders, drawing in a shallow breath, and I stroke my hands softly down the sides of her arms, feeling the pinprick of goosebumps that rises up in their wake.

  I finish by running my hands down either side of her waist and resting them on her hips, lingering there for a moment, imagining pulling her back against me. God, what I would give to be somewhere private with her right now.

  ‘Anywhere else?’ I whisper in her ear.

  She inhales loudly, turning her head to me, her eyelids half-closed. My lips are inches from her ear. Making sure Riley and Jo aren’t watching, I dip my head and drop a kiss on her neck, just above her collarbone. She tastes of salt and coconut sunscreen. I close my eyes and inhale her, my fingers tightening on her hips, brushing her stomach.

  Her body tenses and she lets out a small moan – more like a sigh – but then in the next instant she pulls out of my grip and is gone. My eyes flash open. Jessa has dropped down onto her towel and grabbed one of Didi’s magazines and is rifling through it. Riley is frowning at her. He looks up and catches my eye, still frowning, and I wonder if he saw. No. He can’t have done. If he had I wouldn’t be standing. He’d have knocked me to the sand already and my jaw would be buzzing from his fist.

  I walk over to him and sit down, my pulse hammering, deciding it’s a wise idea to put as much distance between me and Jessa as possible for the moment. I can still taste her on my lips and I wonder if I should have gone for a swim to cool off. Instead I rip off my T-shirt and lie back, resting on my elbows, acting as casual as is possible, though my heart is thumping loud enough to drown out the sound of the surf.

  ‘So,’ Jo says, sitting up and looking at Didi and Jessa. ‘One more week of school, huh?’

  ‘I know!’ exclaims Didi. ‘I can’t wait. The last eleven years of my life have been torture. My last school was godawful, but this one is worse. I’m so over physical education, detention and wearing uniform. Five more days and my life is finally going to begin.’

  Jo gives a small half-smile and looks away and I watch Riley squeeze her arm. Jo works as a waitress in the day and goes to night school. She wanted to go to college and get a degree but her mom has MS, no husband and no health insurance. Being the eldest of three, Jo had to get a job the day she left school. She’s the sole breadwinner for her family. Riley sends her money from his paycheck each month and would send her more, but she won’t accept it. I don’t know how she does it. I never really wanted to go to college. I had a dream to join the marines and I followed it. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have a dream and not be able to pursue it.

  ‘Well, I plan on having a wild summer and then an even more wild and crazy four years in college,’ Didi announces.

  ‘Where are you going?’ I ask her.

  ‘USC,’ she answers with a smile before glancing towards Jessa and biting her lip in a grimace.

  Jessa gives a tight, bright smile which I don’t buy for a second. That’s gotta suck, knowing your best friend is going to the college you want to go to.

  ‘What are you girls doing for prom?’ Jo asks.

  ‘When’s prom?’ I ask, sitting up.

  ‘Next Saturday,’ Jessa mumbles.

  ‘Who are you going with?’ Jo asks. ‘You got dates?’

  ‘No,’ Jessa says quickly. Was that for my benefit?

  ‘What about Peter?’ Jo asks.

  ‘Who?’ Didi says.

  ‘The guy you said you liked,’ Jo answers, giving her a knowing smile. She then glances my way and I frown at them both, confused. Who’s Peter?

  ‘You can’t go to prom on your own,’ Jo says. ‘No one goes to prom alone. Not even the dorks and the dweebs go on their own.’

  Jessa shrugs.

  ‘Are you putting us lower down on the social ladder than dorks and dweebs?’ Didi asks.

  Jo laughs. ‘No, but come on, you girls telling me you can’t find dates? I find that
hard to believe.’

  ‘We go to an all girls’ school,’ Jessa says. I can see she’s squirming a little at the interrogation, her cheeks going red. I know it’s not just the fact she goes to an all girls’ school. I bet her father wouldn’t even let her go with a date. I remember her telling me about her junior prom disaster.

  ‘Well I think that’s tragic and we can’t let it happen. Riley?’

  ‘Huh?’ Riley says, turning to Jo. He hasn’t been listening. He’s been watching the volleyball game going on next to us.

  ‘Your sister and her best friend don’t have dates for prom.’

  Riley looks at her blankly, not knowing where she’s going with this but instinctively aware it’s going somewhere he’s not going to like. Meanwhile I’m totally ahead of him. I’ve figured out exactly what Jo’s going to say next and I’m totally down with it. Especially if it means getting this guy Peter out of the picture.

  ‘You guys need to take them.’ Jo looks at me as she says it, nodding encouragingly.

  Riley pulls a face. ‘What?’ he asks.

  ‘Why not?’ Jo says. ‘Girls, what do you think? How about Riley and Kit take you? They could be your dates.’

  ‘Seriously?’ asks Didi, glancing at us both. ‘That would be awesome.’ She elbows Jessa in the ribs. ‘Wouldn’t it?’

  Jessa frowns. She looks down at the sand, digging into it with her heel. ‘Um, I’m not sure my dad will allow it.’

  ‘Why not?’ Jo asks. ‘He can’t object to Riley taking you to prom.’

  ‘Riley?’ she asks, her head flying up.

  ‘Yeah,’ Jo says. ‘And Kit can take Didi.’ She turns and winks at me and in that same second I realize with horror that Jo’s gotten the wrong idea. She thinks I have a thing for Didi. I’m not sure how she got the idea and I almost blurt something to set her straight, but before I can, Jessa speaks up.