I Just Need You

by J. Nathan

  My pulse pounded in my temples. Was he having regrets? Was he leaving? I waited, willing him not to bolt again.

  He didn’t. He moved to the corner of my room, reached up to the camera, and pointed it up toward the ceiling. He spun back to face me sporting a sly grin. “Now. Where were we?” He sat down, and shifted me back onto his lap. His hands slipped to my back and under my tank top. I didn’t have a bra on, so his big hands coasted over my skin as I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. His fingertips left a trail of numbness in their wake and I tried committing every glorious touch to memory, wanting to remember the moment Tristan admitted he wanted me.

  I normally wasn’t so forward. So willing to shed my clothes. So desperate to be in someone’s arms. But Tristan brought it out of me. I lifted my arms, and he pulled the hem right up and over my head, tossing it to the floor. I didn’t have time to feel embarrassed by my nakedness. He leaned forward and flicked his tongue over my nipple. I closed my eyes, arching forward, unable to believe this was happening. Unable to believe Tristan was the one making my body feel alive. He moved to my other nipple and did the same.

  “Tristan,” I whispered as my head dropped back, relishing in the sensations.

  “Yes?”

  “Don’t stop.”

  The raspy sound of his laughter disappeared once he sucked my nipple into his mouth. Tremors erupted between my legs as I braced my hands on his shoulders. He flicked his tongue again, biting down gently. I gasped. I could almost feel him smile against me before he tempered the sting with delicious swirls of his tongue.

  He pulled back and peeled his shirt off. Underneath he was wearing a wife beater with holster vest over it. He unhooked the vest and placed it on my desk. Then he tugged off the wife beater.

  I drank him in, all ripped and perfect. My hands drifted slowly over his chest, memorizing every dip and ridge before settling over his heart. His heartbeat drummed a steady rhythm beneath my palm.

  “I want to feel you,” he said, pulling my attention to his hungry eyes. “All of you.”

  I nodded, unable to tear my eyes from his.

  He stood up while still holding me and turned, lowering me down onto the bed. He unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them and his boxers down, stepping out of them as I stared at him naked in front of me. His erection stood tall and thick. I’d been with guys before. But having Tristan naked in front of me was something else entirely. He was built and solid everywhere. I watched as he reached down and pumped his fist over his erection, looking directly at me. He smirked, likely at the heady look in my eyes. He eventually released his grip, using his hands to tug off my shorts and panties. I felt the heat of his gaze move over my naked body. The hunger in his stare ignited a fire beneath my skin. “I don’t think a bad decision has ever felt so right.” He crawled over me, spreading my legs with his knees.

  “You think this is a bad decision?” I asked, as he settled between my thighs.

  “The worst.”

  My brows shot up.

  “Too bad there’s no turning back now,” he said before capturing my lips. This kiss was unhurried, our tongues entwining in a slow intoxicating dance. Our naked bodies moved in sync, twisting together like magnets drawn to each other. Tristan shifted his hips and his erection pressed between my legs. I arched into him, suddenly needing more. He shifted his hips again, and our bodies continued their dance. Our kiss grew deeper. We were all teeth and tongues and getting very close to losing all sense of time. And, though we resisted the urge to go all in, prolonging the dance we’d been doing since the night we met, I needed Tristan. And I needed him now.

  Sensing my impatience, Tristan abandoned my lips, burying his mouth in the crook of my neck. “Just think how good it’s gonna feel…” he said as he whispered opened-mouthed kisses down the curve of my neck, branding my skin with the most delicious heat. “…when I’m inside of you.”

  The mere mention of him inside me sent tingles firing off everywhere. I bucked my hips, nearly impossible with the weight of him over me. But, he knew what I needed because he needed it too. He shifted his hips, pressing his dick against me harder this time. My eyes rolled into the back of my head, the sensations already so powerful. I was ready for him. I’d never been more ready for anything in my life.

  He reached for his jeans on the floor and pulled a foil packet from his wallet, tearing it open with his teeth. He balanced on his side and rolled on the condom, then shifted back on top of me. “You’re sure about this, right?”

  “You’re not, right?”

  He smirked. “That smart mouth of yours is gonna get you in trouble.”

  “Oh, yeah? I didn’t realize you were into the kinky stuff.”

  “I’m into you.”

  My stomach dipped, his words mixed with the sincerity in his eyes making me a complete goner. He leaned down and our lips collided once more. And while I knew he thought this was wrong, I was certain it was right.

  Tristan thrust against me, preparing me without entering. He was unrelenting in his kisses as his hips thrust harder. He was ready, and he was making sure I was too. I bent my knees, my feet flat on either side of him as I lifted my ass. I held my breath as he pushed into me. I groaned as he stretched me wide. It took a second to adjust to the size of him, but once he began moving in and out, each time a little deeper, we found our rhythm. I matched each of his thrusts with my hips, loving the intimate connection between us.

  “God, you feel amazing,” he said between ragged breaths.

  I loved his raw honesty. I wanted more. I dug my fingernails into his back and he groaned. I dragged them down to his ass. I kept my hands there, loving the feel of him flexing each time he thrust into me. He growled and wrapped one arm around my back, keeping us connected as he lifted me until I straddled him. I’d never done it in this position, so I gauged my moves on his reaction, moving my hips back and forth. “Just like that,” he murmured, his eyes never wavering from mine as I rode him slowly. His hands drifted up and down my back, gently stroking my skin. Eventually, his fingers reached the back of my neck and he drew my mouth to his. Our tongues melded together as I moved on top of him, my hips shifting faster as our kiss grew deeper. Tingles began to build between my thighs, and my breathing became labored. I tore my lips from his and buried my forehead in his shoulder as my hips continued to move.

  “Just like that, baby,” he urged. “Just like that.”

  His words urged me on, and I could feel him thrusting from beneath me. He buried his mouth in the curve of my neck and sucked away at my skin as we moved together, a perfect dance between two no-longer-strangers.

  Quivers began to coil around his dick, my body prepared to betray me. “Oh God,” I groaned as the sensations released, rippling out to my limbs. My body shuddered as I rode out the orgasm.

  Tristan didn’t stop thrusting from beneath me, harder and deeper until he eventually stilled inside me, groaning against my neck as his own orgasm tore through him.

  Our sweaty bodies stayed connected as we held each other, our breathing slowly leveling out and our heartbeats eventually returning to normal.

  Oh. My. Freaking. God.

  Tristan finally pulled back, his eyes taking in my face. He reached up and tucked strands of hair behind my ears. “Can we stay like this?”

  My lips turned up in the corners, so happy he wasn’t regretting this. “Happy? Or connected?”

  “Both.”

  I smiled, loving this side of him. This Tristan. I leaned forward and kissed his sweaty lips. His dick twitched inside me, and I knew in that moment that he was having no regrets. I pulled back and gazed into his eyes. “Would taking a shower together draw too many questions?”

  He laughed. “You think?”

  “It’s fine. I want your smell on me anyway.”

  “Damn right, you do.”

  We eventually broke apart and climbed under my comforter, our clothes strewn across my floor.

  Tristan wrapped his arms around me and pul
led me into his chest. “You really want to fight every girl who looks at me?”

  “You really watch me sleep?”

  He nodded. “I love the way your eyelashes brush the tops of your cheeks.”

  “They do?”

  He reached up and brushed his thumb over the top of my cheeks. “You look so peaceful. Like nothing can touch you while you’re asleep.”

  “Nothing can if I know you’re here,” I explained. “If you’re not…well, you know.”

  He dropped his lips to mine and kissed me slow, his hands drifting down and around my hips, pulling me flush against him and holding me like he’d never let me go.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Kresley

  “No…stop…please…”

  Tristan’s words yanked me from a sound sleep—again. His arms were wrapped around me from behind, but I knew he was asleep. His arms twitched as he pulled me closer to him. I couldn’t see his face, but felt the rigidity of his body as the words kept coming. “Please…no…”

  I stroked my hand gently over his arm, trying to soothe him.

  He startled, his heartbeat slamming against my back as he woke.

  “You okay?” I whispered.

  His arms dropped away from me, and he quickly rolled over and kicked his legs out from beneath my comforter.

  I twisted to see what he was doing.

  He sat on the edge of my bed naked with his back to me, running his fingers through his hair. “I fell asleep. Again.”

  I sat up, holding the comforter around me and rubbing my hand over his back, trying to ease his mind. “It’s fine.”

  He pulled away from my touch. “It’s not fine,” he snapped. “I can’t protect you if I’m asleep.”

  I dropped my hand, feeling a sudden hollow in my chest. Was he mad at himself for falling asleep or mad at me for causing him to fall asleep?

  He snatched his phone off my desk and checked it. “Fuuuuck,” he said when he read a text on the screen. He stood, quickly gathering his clothes from my floor.

  “What’s wrong?”

  He ignored me as he stepped into his jeans then tugged his shirt over his head. I waited for him to explain what was going on. Was it the text that upset him or the fact that he’d fallen asleep?

  I suddenly couldn’t keep up with his change in moods.

  He snatched his holster from my desk. “I’ve gotta go.”

  “Go where?”

  His eyes cut to mine. They were cold and detached.

  The bastard was going to use falling asleep as a reason to push me away. “Don’t do this,” I warned with blood now pulsing in my cheeks.

  He moved to the door.

  I waited for him to stop and realize that he was overreacting. That he was going to ruin everything by walking out that door. I needed him to turn back around and tell me he was joking. Tell me everything he confessed earlier was the truth. Show me that Tristan.

  He grabbed the door knob.

  I watched with baited breath.

  He paused.

  Come on, Tristan. Don’t be a dick.

  He twisted back around, but instead of facing me, he walked over to the camera in the corner of my ceiling that he’d repositioned earlier. He reached up and adjusted it back into place so it captured my room once again. He turned back to the door and, without another word, walked out.

  The door clicked ominously behind him, piercing a dagger-sized hole in my already fragile heart.

  Tristan

  “Dude, what the fuck?”

  I stopped short as soon as I stepped out of Kresley’s room, not expecting to find Briggs waiting in the hallway, cross-armed and glaring at me.

  “What?” I gritted.

  “You and the client,” he explained. “Rule number one.”

  “Don’t fucking tell me rule number one,” I growled. “I created it.”

  “Just stating the obvious,” he said.

  He clearly didn’t know his place. I was the fucking boss! Why had Marco sent him? He was immature, a pain in the ass, and the least professional employee we had.

  Fuck.

  Look at me talking about not acting professional when I just slept with the client. “I stay in her room at night,” I clipped.

  He pegged me with accusatory eyes.

  “What?” I spat, pissed he was there. Pissed I’d fallen asleep. Pissed I’d had a nightmare in front of her again. Pissed I’d walked out on her the way I had. Pissed he was throwing my own God damned rule in my face!

  “I saw you before you repositioned the camera and gave me a view of the ceiling,” Briggs explained, his lips twitching.

  My eyes narrowed as my anger flared to life. “What the fuck were you doing looking in her room?”

  “You weren’t answering your phone. And I wanted to be sure she was okay,” he said. “But looks like you were making sure she was just fine.”

  My head fell back against the hallway wall, knowing what Marco and I drilled into our employees’ heads. Rule number one. You don’t fuck or fuck over your client. I thought I could handle it. I thought I was different and could make it work. I thought I could convince Marco I could have feelings for Kresley and still protect her. But I’d fallen asleep. Twice. Not to mention given her a front row seat to my nightmares. Twice. I clearly hadn’t been thinking with the head I should’ve been thinking with. “Marco’s gonna kill me.”

  “Yup,” he agreed.

  “Fuuuuuck.”

  Seconds felt like hours as my brain spun. I had absolutely no idea what I was gonna do to fix any of it.

  “You know…” Briggs began. “I don’t see why we have to burden Marco with this. He’s got his own shit to deal with. And it’s not like it’s gonna happen again.”

  I looked at him, as if my entire partnership with Marco—and everything we’d built—depended on Briggs keeping his big mouth shut and believing me. “It’s not. It was a mistake.”

  “Good.” Briggs turned and walked toward Marco’s room where he’d be staying while Marco was gone. “I’m going to bed.”

  I stood alone in the hallway, contemplating what the hell to do. I couldn’t get the feel of Kresley out of my head. She was three parts fragile and one part fierce. She was everything I needed to soften my hardened heart. But none of this was about me. I was there to keep her safe. And that wouldn’t happen if I got too close. Despite everything I’d admitted to her earlier, nothing should’ve happened between us, especially under these circumstances. I knew better.

  Maybe in a different time.

  A different lifetime.

  I turned to my room just as her door flew open.

  Begrudgingly, I shifted my gaze to look at her, knowing what I’d find wouldn’t be pleasant.

  She glared at me. “It was a mistake?”

  My eyes raked over her pajamas, knowing she’d just thrown them on since I’d left her naked in her bed. God. She looked so pretty and vulnerable. Like the girl I’d held in my arms for the last few hours. The girl I’d made love to. The girl I wanted to tell my secrets to. It killed me that I knew what she felt like. And tasted like. I shook off those thoughts and didn’t say anything. Because nothing I said could justify my behavior.

  “Is that really how you feel?” she asked, her lips in a tight line.

  I didn’t respond.

  Disappointment filled her eyes. “So, this is how it’s gonna be? After everything that was said, we’re gonna go back to how things were with us hating each other? Really?”

  I had so much shit flooding my brain that anything that came out of my mouth was bound to piss her off even more than she already was.

  “Coward.” She spun away from me with disgust in her tone and slammed her door, likely waking half the floor.

  Coward?

  That single word was like a sucker punch to my gut. I prided myself on being brave and running into danger as opposed to avoiding it. But when it came to Kresley, she’d been right. I ended up being the biggest coward of them all.
<
br />   I lowered myself to the floor outside her room, knowing I needed to sit out there to keep her demons at bay. Little did I know at the start of the night that I would’ve become one of those demons now.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Kresley

  I contemplated not going to the shelter the next morning. I considered staying in my room all day so I didn’t have to face Tristan—so I didn’t have to pretend things hadn’t gone south in a matter of seconds. But why? Because he hurt my feelings? Because he turned his back on me? Because he was lying to himself?

  I don’t think so.

  I was Kresley Hastings. I hadn’t gotten to the place I was in by cowering in the face of adversity—as much as I might’ve wanted to at times. I’d escaped kidnappers, for Christ’s sake. There was no way I was letting some bodyguard break me. If I’d been such a mistake, I was going to be a mistake that he had to face.

  I opened my door.

  Tristan waited in the hallway with his arms crossed and sunglasses on making it impossible to know if he was looking at me or not.

  I wouldn’t lie. The sight of him gave me a momentary pause as a rush of emotions flooded my chest. Regardless of the hurt I felt, I steeled my features and said nothing, just turned and walked down the hallway toward the stairwell.

  “The car’s out front,” he said, as we walked down the stairs.

  I quickened my pace. Immature? Maybe. But self-preservation was a powerful thing.

  Outside the building, I opened the back door of the car and slipped into the backseat. No need to sit in the front to ignore him. I could manage just fine from the backseat.

  Tristan rounded the front of the car. As soon as he opened his door, I focused on my phone in my lap. That would keep me busy until we arrived at the shelter. I skimmed through my newsfeed, but I wasn’t paying attention to anything on the screen. My mind whirled with images of last night. How Tristan made me feel when he was telling me he couldn’t stop thinking about me. The way his lips felt against mine, so soft and demanding. The way his body felt as he moved inside me. The safety I felt in his arms as we slept.