Full Measure [Mastering Holly Oaks] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour)

by Rayna Stone

  She was scrambling for a snappy comeback when Mac fisted her hair and tilted her head to meet his stare. Her comeback turned out to be a little whimper instead. “You will let me taste, kitten.” He growled.

  “Yes, sir.” She didn’t even think about the words. She really wasn’t thinking at all at this point. She was too distracted by the pulsing ache forming deep in her belly. God, her clit was swelling, and her muscles were clenching. The tight points of her nipples rasped against the lace of her bra. It was taking everything she had just to process all these sensations. The man had barely done more than speak to her, and she was more turned on than she could remember ever being.

  “Good girl.”

  With a sigh, she relaxed into Mac’s side. Somehow those two words and the utter approval on his face wiped away the need to analyze any of it. She felt completely relaxed. Yup, she was just going to play along tonight.

  These men didn’t want her heart, but maybe they could show her what it was like to feel desired. Hell, she might even have sex if they wanted it. She didn’t have any expectations on that front for herself, but it wasn’t all about reaching orgasm. Even with her ex, she didn’t feel worshipped during sex. She didn’t feel sexy or like he even particularly cared to be with her. Maybe these men could show her what that felt like. Or maybe she needed to get her head examined. God, now she was confused again.

  “What’s going on, Mac? I really need to know what you’re doing here and I’m feeling a little lost.”

  * * * *

  His little kitten was unsure of herself again. For a moment it was just the two of them. She had melted into him, given herself to him. He felt it in his bones. Her little whimper almost made him forget his restraint. She was lovely. Playful one second, all sexual heat the next. She was a complex woman. If only he could get her to relax.

  He was originally going to do this much slower, but finding out she read BDSM erotica changed that little plan. She wouldn’t read more than one book if this wasn’t something she felt a connection with. Even if she didn’t understand why, he did. She needed someone to take control. To free her mind from worry and responsibility so she could just feel. She was likely a sexual submissive. Perhaps she couldn’t even enjoy sex without submitting. Many subs found sex stressful. They tried so hard to please their partner that they couldn’t enjoy it themselves. Her ex cheating on her would have only validated her fear that she wasn’t acceptable. He’d kill him if he could.

  Mac would take her concern away. She wouldn’t be able to do anything but take what he gave her. He and Jay would overwhelm her until she couldn’t worry anymore. She wouldn’t have to wonder what they wanted, they would simply tell her. He could see in her eyes that she wanted to trust him. She was afraid. This was too new for her, and a triad was difficult for most people. He and Jay would just have to convince her to give them a chance to show her how it could be between them.

  * * * *

  “Let’s go outside and talk.” Mac rumbled.

  As they headed for the back patio, Jay fell into step beside Mac. It was the first Kat had seen him that night. She didn’t normally go for the boxers-hanging-out look, but she had no problem getting a glimpse of this man’s backside. Though he wasn’t as big as Mac, he definitely had a cut form. He winked at her, and she noticed the leather collar around his neck. She knew from her novels that the collar meant he was Mac’s submissive. Her hand reflexively went to her own bare neck.

  “Kitten, Jay and I have been hoping to find to a woman to complete our relationship for a long time. We really didn’t think it would happen, but when we met you, all that changed. We want to explore a relationship with you. I know you’re reluctant to get involved, and I know the type of relationship we’re hoping for is new to you. All I’m asking right now is that you open your mind to the possibility. Let us show you how this would work. Let us show you how you make us feel, how we can make you feel.”

  Well, he really just put it all on the line, didn’t he? They wanted her? In a relationship? A BDSM relationship, to boot. God. She didn’t even know what to say. She really did want to find out what it could be like to belong to them, to be loved by them. But she knew they would be disappointed eventually. And how would a triad even work? In books, sure, but real life was different. She couldn’t really be with two men. But what if she was brave enough to just try, like Mac had asked?

  * * * *

  Mac could see the indecision warring within her. She wanted to reach out and take what they offered, but self-preservation and the fear of the unknown was holding her back. As a Dom, he wanted to push. As a man, he knew the decision had to be hers to make. That didn’t mean he couldn’t play a little dirty. He looked to Jay, knowing his lover would understand what he wanted.

  Mac eased up in front of kitten. Jay sidled around to mold to her back. As Jay wrapped her in his embrace, Mac cupped her face with infinite care. Giving her face a gentle hug, he lowered his voice. “Just see where this goes, baby. Give over to us a little. Let us earn your trust. Show me how brave you can be, kitten.”

  * * * *

  Kat felt wrapped in warmth. Mac’s body emanated heat in front of her, and she could feel every hot inch of Jay behind her. Damn, his erection was snugged up against her lower back, his breath fanning over her neck. It seemed they did really want her. She felt encased in security. At the same time, every nerve she had was sparking to life. She wanted to cling to these two men. She wanted to kneel at their feet and make them feel half as special as she felt right now. She could be brave for them. She spent six years of her life just getting by in every way. Kelly was right. It was time she opened her heart a little. She might get hurt again, but she had never felt like this before. It was worth the risk to see where this could lead.

  “I’ll try, Mac. I want you both. I have no clue what I’m doing or where this is going. To be honest, I’m scared shitless. But I do want you.”

  “So brave, kitten,” Jay cooed.

  Mac just inched closer until his lips met hers, just a gentle press of lips at first. He started at one corner of her mouth and worked his way to the other with soft kisses. With a smooth glide, his tongue traced her bottom lip, and then sucked it into his mouth. When he nipped at the tender flesh, she gasped in surprise. He took the opportunity to steal into her mouth, using his hold on her face to angle her head to his liking.

  As Mac’s tongue slowly explored, Jay began to caress the soft swell of her belly. He gently rocked into her, letting her know just how hard he was for her. Her mind was in a whirl. Mac’s tongue was licking at hers in almost perfect time to Jay’s thrusts. She was getting so wet she could feel the heat of her own cream slicking the folds of her pussy.

  With increased bravery, she chased Mac’s tongue as he began to withdraw. His fierce growl gave her the reassurance she needed to initiate a kiss of her own. His chest felt so strong and solid as she ran her hands up and around to the back of his neck. She couldn’t stop herself from gripping his hair and rubbing her aching breasts against his chest. Just then, she felt Jay’s hands slide along her arms to manacle her wrists and slowly bring her hands behind her back.

  She broke off the kiss, panting and light-headed. Shit, she needed them to touch her. Now. She never knew she could get so turned on, and it seemed they were stopping. Did she do something wrong? “Jay?”

  “Sweetheart, you’re doing so well. We aren’t stopping, baby, but we are going to slow things down a little. You’ll take what you’re given, kitten, and we’ll decide what and when that will be. Understand?” Jay seemed to be having as much difficulty catching his breath as she was. But if this was how things worked with them, she would comply.

  “Jay, I think we’ve confused our little pet. Show her that she hasn’t done anything wrong,” Mac commanded.

  With a smile, Jay leaned her back into his chest, now holding both her wrists in one hand. “Babe, you didn’t do a damn thing wrong. If we don’t slow down, I might embarrass myself and earn a punishme
nt. My cock is screaming to get inside of you. Have mercy on me, baby. I have orders to follow here, and bending you over to fuck you senseless isn’t one of them right now.”

  “Oh.” Kat barely breathed.

  “Give me your mouth, kitten. I want to taste my Master on your tongue.”

  Kat gave a husky moan at that statement. How fucking hot was that? She’d give him anything he wanted. Jay tilted her head with his free hand and gave her the sweetest lingering kiss. He was softer in his approach. When he opened her mouth with his, it seemed like he really was trying to taste Mac. It was the most erotic experience. Since he held her wrists and controlled her head, she just gave in and let him take what he needed. She could stay like this forever. When he finally released her and stepped back, Kat knew she made the right decision. Just kissing these two amazing men could sustain her for another six fucking years.

  Apparently a kiss was all she was getting even though her body screamed for more. Kat stopped the men right before they dragged her back to the party. “Um…what do we tell people? I mean, I don’t want anyone thinking I’m trying to get between the two of you. What about your reputations?” Kat was starting to get flustered. She had no idea how to handle this.

  Mac turned to address her concerns. “Kitten, you do not worry about any of that. People here will be more than happy to accept our decisions. This town is rather used to the socially taboo, honey. And if anyone frowns upon our relationship, you let me deal with it. There is no shame in what we do. Our reputation is not important here. You are what is important. Just relax, kitten.” Mac’s confident words settled her. He was right. They were the ones who had initiated this. She would let them worry about the logistics and social repercussions.

  After about two hours, Kat was getting a bit pissed. They had taken turns dancing with her and touching her. Little stolen kisses and some thorough explorations of her person had her so hot she was going out of her mind. Her reaction to them was unfathomable to her. In the past, she never physically felt anything when a man touched her, not even during sex. It was like her body just didn’t respond. No tingling, no swelling of her girly bits, nada. Right now her skin felt tight and her breasts felt swollen. Every bit of her body was sensitized. She had never been so wet! It was all very new to her. She felt squirmy, like her body was seeking something, but she had no idea how to attain it. If they didn’t stop soon, she might do something unacceptable, like rip at their clothes and jump the closest one.

  * * * *

  “Looks like your strategy to win Kat’s affections may soon backfire, Mac. She’s eyeing you both like she can’t decide if she wants to fuck you or cut off your balls,” James said with an amused look on his face.

  “Yes, we may be pushing a bit much in driving her to distraction. But to be honest, man, I just can’t stop touching the minx. She’s not the only frustrated one here. Poor Jay has been begging me to let him jack off in the bathroom for some relief. At least my slave is getting a great refresher in denial. He’s been far too good lately to punish. This is showing me all sorts of devious possibilities for the future.”

  The amusement on James’s face turned to contemplation. “You’re a lucky bastard. And have you seen the way her and Kelly keep meeting up to talk? It’s like watching little kids at the playground. They’re all giggles and smiles. I have never in my life seen Kelly giggle. Kat is good for all of us, you know. My clients love her as much as Ry and I do. And I haven’t seen you look so relaxed in years. I’m happy for you, Mac.”

  James’s heartfelt statement really warmed Mac. He did feel a happiness he hadn’t felt in long time. Work was weighing on him so much lately, and he knew that though he and Jay were happy together, they were both getting to a point in life where they wanted more. A family. And he couldn’t deny that though they gave each other so much, they needed a woman in their life to love. And there was no doubt that kitten was that woman. The connection to kitten was almost immediate, like her soul called out to theirs. His thoughts were interrupted when Ryan walked up.

  “So, what’s the plan? Is Kat aware of what she’s in for?”

  “Not entirely, Ry. I thought we’d take her home soon and talk about it. I want her to understand what I would expect of her as a sub and a lover. I need to see if she’s willing to trust me that far. Tomorrow I’ll get the chance to see her reaction to some scenes at the club, though we won’t take her to the playroom just yet.”

  Mac fervently hoped Kat would consent to being his sub. There was so much he wanted to show her. But there was so much he needed to know yet. He wouldn’t act rashly in this. He wasn’t just a Dom in name. He had trained to earn the title. He knew he needed information before he could place her in any situation that could cause her harm mentally or physically. He would not risk that. He took his responsibilities seriously.

  As Mac rounded up kitten, and Jay to escort her home, he couldn’t help but notice the sneer Suzy sent their way. What was that all about? He’d have to keep his eye on that one. Suzy was a conniving bitch who had more than once tried to get in their bed. If she caused any trouble with his kitten, he wanted to know immediately. Nobody hurt his subs.

  Chapter Six

  Kat led Mac and Jay into her apartment. As she closed the door, a silent ball of fluff went sailing over the island in the kitchen.

  “What the fuck was that?” Jay yelled while looking around like he expected to be attacked.

  Rolling her eyes, Kat looked to the far side of the island to make sure Sampson was okay. “That was my cat.” Yup, he was fine. In fact, he was staring at her like she was the one who just made an ass out of herself.

  “Sampson has a little problem with balance and judging distance. He has nystagmus, which means his eyes kind of wiggle around all the time. He tends to miss his target when he jumps. You get used to it.” Poor thing was just not graceful like a feline should be. At least he’d ventured out of the bedroom.

  “Do not make fun of him, Jay. I mean it.” She would get the Wax Nazi after him if he did.

  “We will not make fun of your unfortunate cat, kitten. I promise Jay will behave.” Mac was sternly looking at Jay, but she saw the crinkle around his eyes. Well, let them risk it and take the consequences.

  “We need to talk, kitten.” Mac’s playful tone was gone.

  Okay, here it was, the serious portion of the evening.

  “Kitten, do you understand that we want you to be a part of our D/s relationship? If we are to continue to explore what is between us, you must understand that this is who we are, not just something we do. I’d give you anything you asked of me, but I cannot change who am, nor can I ignore that this is a part of our life.”

  She knew this was what they wanted. Part of her hoped to put off this discussion for a while. Maybe just enjoy some time together before she had to worry about what they expected. ’Course, maybe she was just afraid to find out what kind of BDSM they practiced. She had read some serious shit before. She didn’t think she could handle anything too intense. If they wanted her to sleep in a cage or pee in front of them…well, that was a no-go for sure. “So, you want to top me, right?”

  “Yes, kitten. I would expect that you submit to Jay in a way as well. When the three of us are together, you are both mine. When I’m not around, Jay will be given a measure of control over you. Mostly, I expect him to take care of you and keep you safe. To that end, I would expect you to obey him and by extension, me.”

  Great. He wanted to make decisions for her and order her around. It didn’t seem like he acted that way with Jay, at least not while she was with them this week. She was too independent for that. She should have known they were too good to be true.

  “I don’t think I can let anyone control me, Mac. I worked too hard to get my life in order. I can’t just hand it over to you. I can’t change who I am, either, even if it means this won’t work out.” Kat felt sadness well up. She wanted to be with them. She just couldn’t give up everything.

  “I think yo
u misunderstand, honey. Our power exchange occurs mostly in sexual situations. I am a dominant man. I tend to try and get my way outside the bedroom, but I don’t expect to always succeed. Jay is my partner, friend, and lover above all else. I don’t want a full-time Master/slave relationship with either of you. I will, however, expect that you listen to an order outside the bedroom if it concerns your safety or happiness.

  “D/s relationships require honesty and trust. That extends beyond the bedroom, kitten. I cannot give you what you need as your Dom or your lover if you don’t communicate with me. And I will always look to your well-being first. Jay has earned a punishment or two for risking his safety or withholding information from me. If you are sad or stressed, kitten, I expect you to tell me. I want the chance to comfort you or help you. That’s not so much about BDSM, that’s just the hallmark of a good relationship.”

  “I was only going eight miles above the speed limit and Mr. You Do Not Risk My Property over there gave me ten with a cane for it. Trust me, babe, he’s serious about the safety thing. You do not want to push on that one,” Jay said.

  “Jay’s right. You need to think about this. I can be very strict about some things. There is a difference between punishment, and pain for pleasure’s sake. If I think you have endangered yourself, or if I feel you are intentionally disobeying an order, you will be punished for it.”

  Jay leaned closer to Kat. “Listen, baby, Mac is very fair about punishment. To tell you the truth, I like knowing that he cares enough about me to notice when I need it. Afterward, I feel so loved. Safe. It’s not something for you to fear, honey.

  “If I hurt him or do something stupid, I don’t have to worry that he’ll be mad at me for days. Also, I never get punished without knowing exactly why. Mac has never set me up to fail. He isn’t a sadist. I know that any punishment he gives is stressful for him, but it clears the air for both of us. I would rather take strokes for doing something stupid than be with someone who didn’t care if I was hurt or even feeling guilty. It helps us both remember that we have responsibilities to each other. And he will never, and I mean never, push you past your tolerance for pain. He will not physically injure you in any lasting way. Doesn’t mean you won’t sit uncomfortably from time to time, but he will never push you past what you can handle.”