The Memory of You

by Catherine West

  Tanner sucked his teeth. The old man was losing it.

  Hal stared him down.

  “Enlighten me.” Tanner raised his hands in mock surrender. “How do you see me being the slightest bit helpful to someone like Natalie?”

  Hal’s eyes narrowed. “That’s my granddaughter you’re talking about. I suggest you take it down a notch.”

  “Fine.” Tanner crossed his arms and swallowed his anger. “Can we get back to the subject of the winery?”

  “I thought that’s what we were discussing.” Hal’s innocent expression did little to diffuse Tanner’s temper. If Bill Mitchell succeeded in shutting them down, Hal had brought it on himself.

  “All right.” Tanner sighed. “I think we might stand a chance if we can show her the potential of the place. She claims to want to help, thinks things can improve. But on the surface it doesn’t look good. The numbers speak for themselves.”

  “Do you think we can turn things around? Natalie seems to think so, but she claims I’m holding you back. Am I?”

  Finally they were getting somewhere. So she had kept her word and talked to Hal. Tanner’s pulse jacked a bit.

  “Yes.” He kept a handle on his emotions and nodded. “There are things we can do. Changes we can make. But you have to let go, Hal. You have to trust me enough to let me do the things that need to be done. I can’t help you with both hands tied behind my back.”

  “I have never not trusted you.” A pink hue flared in the man’s weathered cheeks. “You’re like a son to me. Always have been. You know this place better than my two boys put together. It’s just . . .” Hal released a reticent sigh and shot Tanner a watery smile. “It’s hard not to wish for the old days, you know? Things were easier then. We never had to worry whether we’d make ends meet. We had our regulars, the suppliers, the restaurants.”

  “Times change, Hal. The economy has changed. People are more discerning. They’re not interested in the mom-and-pop businesses of days gone by. They want new, exciting, different.”

  “And you think you can make Maoilios into something new, exciting, and different?” Hal’s doubtful look displayed his true feelings.

  “I think we can mix the old with the new.” Tanner tried to be gentle. “It’s not about reinventing the wheel. It’s about improving what we have. Building on it and making it better, more appealing. I have some new wines coming out this year that I believe can hold their own against the competition. But we’re not going to sell much if nobody outside of Sonoma knows we exist.”

  “Okay.” Hal’s wan smile gifted Tanner a glimmer of hope. “You do what you need to. But make sure you bring Natalie on board. Whatever you think of her, she’s a smart cookie. Knows business. And maybe if she’s got something more constructive to do, she’ll get over whatever it is that’s bothering her.”

  “I really have to work with Natalie?”

  And here things were going so well.

  “I would strongly advise it.” Hal gave a sly smile. “Unless, of course, you don’t think you can handle my granddaughter.”

  “Oh, I can handle her all right,” Tanner scoffed. “I’m not so sure she can handle me.”

  “I wouldn’t bet on that, son. I think Natalie can handle you just fine.” Hal guffawed as he got to his feet. “Keep an eye on her for me. If you think she seems unwell, you come talk to me. And try to be nice. It won’t kill you.”

  “It might.”

  “I very much doubt that. But she might kill you if your attitude doesn’t improve. Now, run me up the hill. I need to take my pills.”

  A few minutes later, Tanner left Hal heading upstairs, his smile broad. He never could win an argument against the man. Like it or not, he was going to have to get over himself.

  He wandered through the house to see if his mother was around. Finding the kitchen empty, he remembered her saying something about the kids having dentist appointments after school. Which explained the Crock-Pot on the counter and her handwritten note to Hal on when to lower the heat. Which had been a half hour ago. Tanner flicked the dial to Warm.

  He grabbed a glass of water and gathered his grim thoughts. If things didn’t improve, he could give up now and let Natalie give her father what he wanted. Maoilios was all but ancient history.

  And Rance Harper had called twice last week.

  He’d wanted to speak with the kids, but so far Tanner and Mom had persuaded him to take things slow. They needed to tell the kids about Marnie at the right time, and then reintroduce them to their father.

  There was no right time for either event.

  Rance’s claims of being a changed man sounded suspicious. Tanner wasn’t about to pull the rug out from under Jason and Jeni simply because their father demanded he do so. And if he found out Harper wasn’t telling the truth, he’d see him in court before giving up the kids.

  Tanner’s cell buzzed and he checked his voice mail.

  He scanned the list and almost dropped the phone when his father’s number came up. Tanner listened to Brian Collins’s voice, his heart thudding. Wanting to see how he was. Hoping they could talk.

  Nothing he hadn’t heard before.

  Too little, too late.

  And knowing the close relationship his father had with Rance, at least according to Marnie, he was probably calling to plead Harper’s case.

  The shrill ring of the house phone made him jump.

  Seriously? Tanner waited to see if Hal would pick up, but it kept ringing. Surely his father wouldn’t try to reach him here. He glanced at the clock on the wall. Four thirty. A little early for telemarketers, but you never knew. He needed somebody to yell at.

  “Mitchell residence.”

  Silence. He tapped his boot on the tile and glared at the colorful paintings on the wall. “Okay, look, we’re not interested in whatever it is you’re selling, so just—”

  “Tanner?”

  “Yeah?” Sounded like Natalie. But she was in San Francisco. For whatever she was doing there that was none of his business. “Who is this?” A grin slid across his mouth.

  “Is your mother there?” She sounded far away and not up to dealing with him.

  Too bad.

  “My mother? No. Who is this and what do you want?”

  “Tanner . . .” She let go a long sigh. “It’s Natalie. But you know that. Are you sure your mother isn’t there?”

  “She’s not. Took the kids to the dentist. Where are you?”

  “I’m . . . never mind.” Her voice dropped. “Is . . . my grandfather around?”

  “Hal’s upstairs.” Tanner foraged in the fridge for leftovers but came up wanting. He’d skipped lunch and now his body was paying him back with a headache. “I can go get him if you need him.”

  Silence. Maybe she hung up. Good. He had things to do. Namely get something in his stomach before heading back to the fields tonight. Whatever was in that Crock-Pot would do nicely. He went to the cupboard to fetch a plate. “Natalie? You need him?”

  “No. I need you.”

  “Excuse me?”

  He fumbled with the china plate, put it down, and tried not to laugh.

  “Please. I’m not kidding. I’m stuck. My car . . . I’ve pulled off the highway and I need you to come get me.”

  “You what?” He lifted the lid of the pot and sniffed. Chili. Awesome. Tanner shook his head. “Do I look like I work for Triple A?” His sarcasm was met with more silence. He knew she hadn’t hung up because he could hear her breathing. Shallow breaths that pushed his pulse up and kicked him on the backside at the same time. Proceed with Caution flashed in neon lights across his brain. “Natalie? Are you all right?”

  “If I was all right we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” She muttered something that sounded like a word he couldn’t imagine her using. “Forget it. Sorry to bother you. I’ll try to flag down a cab. Call a tow truck tomorrow.”

  She’s going to need your help, son.

  Tanner tripped over the dogs’ water dish and sent it flying a
cross the floor. They scrambled over and came to his aid, lapping the spilled water. “Wait! Don’t hang up. Tell me where you are.” He stepped around the animals on his way to the counter and found a notepad and pen.

  “GPS says I’m in San Rafael. In the parking lot at the Marin Center.”

  “What are you doing there?”

  “I took an exit off 101, thought if I drove around a bit, slowly, it’d . . . look, I can’t explain now. My phone’s battery is running low.”

  “I’ll be there in about forty-five minutes, give or take. Don’t move.”

  Faint laughter floated through the phone. “That won’t be a problem. Thanks, Tanner.”

  He placed the phone back in the holder, pitched a spoon into the Crock-Pot, and stole a few mouthfuls. Then he grabbed his keys and whistled for Gwin. “Yeah, I know,” he said to the dog as they headed for his truck. “I’m a sucker for punishment.”

  Eleven

  IT WAS DARK BY THE TIME TANNER REACHED THE MARIN Center. Natalie’s car wasn’t hard to spot. It was only one of about three vehicles left in the lot, and the others were trucks. The place appeared to be deserted. The thought of Natalie sitting out here alone didn’t give him a warm fuzzy feeling. Tanner pulled up beside the silver Jag, shut off his engine, and glanced downward. Natalie wasn’t in the driver’s seat.

  His throat constricted as he scanned the area.

  Surely she wouldn’t have abandoned her vehicle. Unless she figured he wasn’t coming and decided to call a cab after all. But he’d told her not to move.

  Confound the woman. If he’d driven all the way here for nothing, he’d wring her neck.

  “Stay.” Gwin whined as Tanner jumped down and peered into the darkened car. Sweat started at his hairline as a thousand scenarios, none of them good, raced through his mind. He pulled out his phone, switched on the light app, shone it around, and let out his breath. Natalie was stretched out on the backseat, asleep by all appearances.

  This was getting weirder by the second.

  He tried the door, but it was locked. At least she was smart enough to lock herself in. He rapped on the window and waited. Nothing. His pulse picked up.

  “Natalie!” Either she was a really sound sleeper or . . . no, he wasn’t going there. Panic thrummed through him and Tanner banged on the roof of the car. “Natalie, wake up!”

  He tried not to laugh as she jerked her head up, caught sight of him, and scrambled to sit. It took her a moment to get the door open, but she didn’t make any effort to get out. She sank against the leather seat instead and let out her breath. “Thank goodness you’re here.”

  He did laugh then. Never thought he’d hear those words come out of Natalie Mitchell’s mouth. Tanner stared at her over the vehicle’s open door. “If you wanted to tie one on, you could have just stayed at a hotel.”

  “I’m not drunk, you idiot,” she mumbled.

  “Oh, I’m an idiot now, am I? Can I just remind you I dropped everything and drove all the way out here at your request? What’s going on, Natalie?”

  She grabbed her purse and lunged forward. “Can you tow this thing or will we have to come back tomorrow?”

  Tanner took a step back. She stumbled toward his truck and leaned against it, like she was about to pass out. If she wasn’t drunk, she was sure doing a good impression.

  “Why didn’t you call the rental company?”

  “Because there’s nothing wrong with the car. I just can’t drive it.”

  O-kay . . . Tanner stared and scratched his head. “Natalie, I’m a little confused.”

  Tears welled in her eyes. Tanner sighed, moved her out of the way, opened the truck’s door, and stood back. “Get in. It’ll take me a few minutes to hook up the winch.”

  “Thanks.” She dropped her purse onto the floor of the truck and put both hands on the seat, then stepped back again. “There’s a dog in there.”

  Gwin’s tail thumped wildly and he knew the minute Natalie got in, she’d be getting a face wash. “Yeah. Gwin. You’re okay with dogs, right?” She’d seemed at ease with them until now.

  “I love dogs.”

  Then get in the truck already.

  She stared at his 4x4 like it was some monstrous beast about to swallow her up. Her legs didn’t seem to want to cooperate with her. She mumbled another word that surprised him, but he didn’t dare comment on it.

  To his annoyance, her obvious discomfort and embarrassment wasn’t enjoyable to watch.

  “Mouse?”

  “What?”

  “Need a hand?”

  “No.”

  “You sure?”

  “Just . . . give me a second.” She lifted her leg, placed her foot on the running board, then gave up and put it down again. “I can’t.”

  His patience vamoosed as she made one more valiant attempt to climb into the truck. He so did not have time for this. “Right.” Tanner closed the gap between them and snaked an arm around her waist. Her squawk of protest pulled a thin smile from him and a bark from Gwin. “Assuming you want to get home tonight, let’s do this my way.”

  “Tanner, don’t. Really. I can’t—”

  In another minute she lay across his arms as easily as Jeni might. He’d wager she weighed less than an empty oak barrel. A faint hint of her perfume lingered and heightened his awareness of her femininity. Not going there.

  “Bet Triple A wouldn’t provide this kind of service.” His attempt at humor seemed to have the opposite effect. Her face crumpled.

  Tanner silently agreed with her earlier proclamation. He was an idiot.

  “I can’t get in the truck, Tanner. I’m afraid.” Big tear-filled eyes stared up at him through the semidarkness.

  Reality hit him square in the jaw as he registered the terror on her face.

  She wasn’t here with him at all. She was on the back roads of Maoilios, in an out-of-control Jeep she was powerless to stop.

  Air hissed from his lungs and he tightened his hold around her. “It’s okay. I’ve got you. We’ll get you in, and then I’m going to drive you home, okay? Natalie? Take a breath.”

  She did. A soft shuddering sigh that woke her from the trance, but sliced him through.

  Her eyes flashed wide. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be so much trouble.”

  Oh, she had no idea. Because, God help him, even with the fear in her eyes, the way he felt right now was definitely trouble. Big trouble. The kind he did not need. He should throw her in the truck and floor it home.

  Instead, he let himself look at her for a long moment. Saw her for who she was and what she’d once meant to him, young as they had been. Part of him even succumbed to the sensation of having a gorgeous woman in his arms.

  “If you’re contemplating carrying me back to Sonoma, it’s going to be a long night.” A shy smile lifted her lips and sent his pulse racing again.

  “Cute.” Tanner swallowed traitorous emotion and cleared his throat. “Unfortunately, I still have work to do tonight, so I think we’ll have to drive.” He lifted her in and onto the seat in one swift move and stepped back. Gwin nuzzled up to her and Natalie turned her attention to the dog.

  Once he’d secured her car, he got in the truck and glanced her way. Her eyes were closed, Gwin’s head in her lap.

  She turned her head toward him. “All set?”

  “Yeah.”

  “So we can go, then?”

  “Not yet.” He swiveled to face her and ignored the pounding in his temples that told him this was probably the worst idea in the world. “We’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on.”

  “No.” She stared out the window.

  “Were you always this stubborn?”

  “Were you always this nosy and bossy? Just drive, Tanner.”

  He glared at the back of her head. Watched her shoulders rise and fall as she reached for her purse. She foraged around, came up with a prescription bottle, popped the lid, and threw a small pill in her mouth. Tanner flinched as she swallowed. “Wha
t are you taking?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  The ensuing silence both unnerved him and accelerated his aggravation. “Well, that’s too bad. After the day I’ve had, I’m not in the mood to play guessing games. Right now I’m working on about six hours sleep over the last four days, so I suggest you start talking or I’ll dump you on the pavement and let you fend for yourself.”

  Gwin’s whine accused him of the lie.

  As if.

  “I can’t tell you.”

  “Can’t or won’t?”

  “Tanner . . .” The way she said his name—like Jeni calling out after a bad dream, a desperate plea—slammed him against his seat.

  Something was very wrong.

  She buried her face against Gwin and Tanner’s anger slipped into the shadows.

  Finally she faced him, slowly, painfully. Tears trickled down her cheeks.

  The hostility he’d harbored toward her since she’d stepped foot on Maoilios faded into the black night around them. A crushing weight pressed on his heart and forced him to face the truth. Told him he was still capable of feeling. Still capable of raw emotion that scared him silly and made him do stupid things. Like reach out a hand and wipe that tear away with the tip of his finger.

  “Talk to me, Mouse.”

  She grabbed his hand and held on, as though he possessed some supernatural strength she didn’t. And then, she spoke. “Three months ago I had a nervous breakdown.”

  “You what?” Tanner’s chest tightened.

  “Yeah.” She screwed up her nose at the confession. “There. Now you know. Can you handle crazy?”

  If she only knew . . .

  “You’re not crazy.”

  “I’ve heard that a few times.”

  Tanner watched more tears slide down her cheeks. “What happened?”

  “Life happened.” Natalie pulled at the pendant around her neck, twirling a finger around the silver chain.

  His eyes rested on the charm. Looked like some kind of zodiac sign, which surprised him. She didn’t seem the type to put stock in horoscopes.

  “You don’t have to tell me.” He’d pressured her enough. On all fronts. Guilt slammed him sideways as he let out a breath.