The Memory of You

by Catherine West

  “Ahem.”

  They broke away from each other laughing. She held Tanner’s hand tight and walked him around the table to meet her parents.

  And then, at last, they got to eat.

  Jeffrey entered the small graveyard the day after Christmas and pulled up short. His brother stood in front of Mom’s grave. He hadn’t expected that. Hadn’t expected anyone to be up this early. The sun was just cresting the horizon line. And he didn’t know whether to stay or go.

  Until Bill turned to face him with a questioning look.

  “I can come back,” Jeffrey offered.

  “You’re here now.” Bill moved aside, his smart loafers kicking a few pebbles across the grass. Jeffrey nodded and went to stand beside him.

  “Good dinner yesterday, huh?” Lame. But when was the last time he and Bill had actually talked about anything?

  “Once we finally got to eat it. Thought that boy was never going to get here.” An uncharacteristic chuckle filled the air. Jeffrey stood back a bit and studied his brother, taking in the changes the years had brought, but seeing a new light in his eyes.

  “You okay, Bill?”

  “Meh.” He shrugged, his smile fleeting. “I’m an old man who’s wasted far too much time dwelling on the past.”

  “You’re not that old.”

  “Sixty next year.”

  “Well, crap.” Jeffrey gave a long whistle. “That means I’m almost fifty-seven. How’d that happen?”

  “Who knows?” Bill sighed and bent to brush a few leaves off the headstone. “Lord, I miss her. You think she’d be proud of us, the way our lives turned out?”

  A lump pressed against his throat and Jeffrey pushed it down. “I’ve asked that question a few times. I’m not sure I know the answer.”

  “I know the answer.” Boots crunched over the gravel and Jeffrey turned to see their father walking toward them. “May I join you boys?”

  The lump pushed harder. What in blazes was wrong with him? Good thing he’d retired. He’d be useless in the field in this state. Jeffrey cursed his lack of control and pinched the bridge of his nose.

  “The more the merrier,” Bill said drolly. Jeffrey snorted and Dad rolled his eyes.

  “You always did have the strangest sense of humor, son.”

  Bill stiffened a bit, but a small smile came and went. Jeffrey watched the two of them with guarded interest. Wondered if they’d ever move beyond the barriers of time and misunderstanding that kept them apart.

  Dad cleared his throat, stared at the grave for a long moment, and then nailed them with sharp eyes. “Your mother loved you both. And yes, she would have been proud of you. What she wouldn’t have been proud of is the way we’ve let our relationship fall apart.”

  That was true, but neither of them seemed in any rush to confirm it.

  Bill rocked on his heels and stared across the rows of empty vines.

  Jeffrey fiddled with his watch and realized it had stopped an hour ago.

  “Maybe we can talk about that sometime,” Dad suggested.

  Jeffrey caught Bill’s surprised look and smiled. “Maybe.”

  His brother ran a hand down his face and gave a slow nod. “Maybe. But not right now.”

  “No. Not right now.” Dad crouched to pull a weed and rose with a creak. “I’m just happy to have you here now, both of you.”

  “Going to have lunch with that boy today,” Bill spoke quietly, giving a slow grin. “I’m assuming he has a question he wants to ask me. What should I say?”

  Jeffrey and Dad laughed and Bill’s eyes sparked with mischief. Dad’s face displayed a rare joy Jeffrey hadn’t seen in some time. He was suddenly very glad he’d made the decision to stay in California.

  “Normally I’d say give him a hard time,” he told his brother. “But Tanner’s been through a lot lately. The kid needs a break.”

  “That’s what I hear.” Bill nodded and thrust his hands into his suede jacket. “Well, he’s not going to know what hit him once we’re done, I’ll say that.”

  “Now what are you up to, William?” A hint of concern was creeping into Dad’s eyes. Bill looked at his watch, looked at both of them, and raised a brow.

  “If you can indulge me in some time and a coffee back at the house, I’ll tell you.”

  Thirty-Six

  TANNER WALKED THE PERIMETER OF THE LAKE AND WATCHED the two swans swim across the still water. He had a couple of hours to himself before he was due to meet Natalie for dinner. His mind was still reeling from today’s lunch with Bill Mitchell. Still trying to process everything he’d been through in the last few months. Still trying to figure out how Natalie Mitchell had waltzed into his life and turned it upside down so completely that he could barely breathe when they were apart.

  A smile slid over his lips as he crouched by the water and skimmed a stone. He checked out the new blooms in Marnie’s garden and thought about seeing Jeni’s face yesterday, when the moment finally came and they called his flight. How she’d clung tight around his neck, then looked back at him through those big solemn eyes. “Don’t you worry ’bout us, Uncle Tanner. You gots things to do now.”

  Even Jason had seemed okay with him leaving. Tanner had enjoyed watching his nephew’s relationship with Rance develop, and as each day passed, he grew more certain he was doing the right thing. The kids would be fine.

  They didn’t need him anymore.

  “It was a season of your life, Tanner,” David had said in the car yesterday. “A good one. Necessary. But it’s time to move on now.”

  Indeed. And somehow, he knew Marnie would expect nothing less. He’d kept his promise. He’d taken care of the kids. And now it was their father’s turn.

  His cell rang in the pocket of his jeans and he fished it out. “Hey, Miguel.”

  “All set here, Tanner. You ready?”

  Tanner blew out a breath and squeezed his eyes shut a moment. Then he nodded and gave a laugh he was glad nobody was around to hear. “Oh, yeah. I’m more than ready.”

  Natalie smoothed down the new cashmere sweater-dress she wore, enjoying the soft blue color and silently thanking Sarah once again for talking her into buying it that morning. She’d curled her hair; it was longer now and had actually cooperated with her intentions.

  She had no idea where they were going, but could hardly wait to be alone with Tanner. She still couldn’t believe he’d shown up for Christmas. But somehow she had a feeling Tanner Collins would never cease to surprise her.

  Her cell buzzed on the dresser and she glanced at the message. Come to the barn.

  The barn? What in the world was he up to?

  Natalie went downstairs in search of her parents, Grandpa Hal, Sarah, or Uncle Jeff, but the house appeared deserted. Laughter from the direction of the patio drew her attention. She crossed the living room and stood at the window. They were all sitting outside, chatting, laughing like old friends. Natalie couldn’t recall when she’d last seen her parents so relaxed. She breathed a silent prayer of thanks, watched them a minute longer, then left the house, closing the door with a quiet click.

  Natalie parked Grandpa Hal’s truck off to the side of the large structure, hopped out, thankful for her flats, and looked around. “Tanner? I’m here.” The doors to the barn were closed and she didn’t see anyone around. She took a few steps forward, checked her phone again.

  The doors to the barn swung open and Tanner stood between them. “About time. I was starting to think you stood me up.”

  Natalie smiled and walked toward him. “Now why would I do that?” The sight of him took her breath away. “You’re wearing a suit,” she squeaked, smothering a giggle. “Oh my.”

  Brand-new by the looks of it. Heather gray, with a slim royal blue tie. His usually unruly hair was cut and combed back neatly, his jaw void of any stubble, and the smile he wore made her heart beat a little faster.

  “Well, I must say, you clean up well, Mr. Collins.”

  Tanner laughed and held out a hand. “C’mon,
gorgeous.”

  Natalie stepped into the barn after him, and let out her breath in a rush. “Oh my gosh.”

  The entire place had been given a makeover. Whitewashed walls replaced the old rotting slats, fans spun in lazy circles from the beams, the dirt floor now hidden by new wood planks, a few colorful rugs thrown here and there. Twinkling fairy lights hung everywhere, giving the place a magical feel. A lone linen-covered table sat in the center, set with silverware, stemware, and china. Two white Chiavari chairs with gold cushions waited for them.

  “Well?” Tanner bounced on the heels of his shiny black loafers, grinning like a kid.

  Natalie turned in a slow circle. “When did you do this?”

  “Hired a guy before I left, and your uncle oversaw the project. Had them on double-time last week. We still have to put in proper facilities out back, bar and kitchen and probably air-conditioning . . . but . . . is this what you had in mind for a wedding venue?”

  “Oh yes.” Tears burned as she stared at him. “This is exactly what I had in mind.”

  “Good.” He moved into her space and put his arms around her. “Did I tell you how much I missed you?”

  “Practically every day.”

  “Mmm.” He kissed her forehead and drew back. “Well, I did.”

  But the time spent with his family in Seattle had been good for him. He’d told her how he and his brothers were already making plans for a long week of hiking in the mountains. Tanner had been blown away by how similar they were, how many interests they shared. Said his baby sister seemed to be a little in awe of him, but she messaged him every day. And he’d even succumbed to Facebook for the sake of keeping in touch.

  “Oh, I got you a Christmas present,” Tanner said.

  “I thought you were my present.” She giggled at the look he gave her.

  “Hush.” Tanner fished in the breast pocket of his jacket and pulled out a small box. Flipped the lid and presented it to her.

  Natalie pulled air into her lungs and stared at a small silver charm on a slim chain. The Maoilios emblem was carefully carved inside an intricate circle. She touched it with a trembling finger, meeting his questioning gaze. “Tanner. It’s perfect.”

  “I designed it myself, actually.” He placed the box on the table and fastened the necklace for her, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders. “And that’s just the beginning. But you should probably sit down.”

  Natalie let him propel her to a chair, in a daze. It was all so amazing. Fresh cut peach and pink roses interspersed with lavender overflowed from a glass vase in the middle of the table and permeated the air with a pleasant scent. Tanner pulled his chair close, tapped an envelope that sat between their place settings, and raised a brow. “You want to guess what’s in here?”

  “No clue.” She shook her head. She had to be dreaming. Everything about this moment was more than she had ever allowed herself to imagine.

  “Open it.”

  “Okay.” Natalie managed a small smile, pulled out papers, and scanned them. Almost dropped them. “What in the—” She clapped a hand over her mouth and stared at Tanner. He sat forward with a satisfied grin, wiping a tear off her cheek.

  “Don’t smudge the ink, Mouse.”

  “He did this?” Natalie blinked and studied the legal documents once more.

  “Gave them to me today. I’m still a little stunned.”

  Laughter rushed out of her, startling her. But it was all she could do, that or blubber like a baby, and she wasn’t about to go that route. “My dad gave you his shares in Maoilios? For real?”

  “Looks that way.” Tanner took the papers from her and pushed them back into the safety of their envelope.

  Natalie took deep breaths, her heart racing and her mind tracking even faster. “I did not see that coming.”

  “Neither did I.” Tanner moved around the table and fiddled with a serving dish. Checked out the open bottle of wine and gave a satisfied nod. “He, uh, told me he wanted to keep it in the family.” He met her eyes and waited for the words to sink in. Before they could, he’d moved to the side of her chair and dropped to one knee.

  “Right after I’d asked his permission to marry his daughter.” Tanner took her hand in his and brought it to his lips. “He was pretty sure you’d say yes.”

  “Tanner,” Natalie breathed out, her shoulders shaking with laughter and tears.

  “I love you, Natalie Grace Mitchell.” Tanner sniffed, his eyes shimmering. “I think I’ve been in love with you forever. At least it feels that way. And I know I don’t want to live another day without knowing you’ll be there beside me for the rest of my life.”

  “I love you too,” Natalie whispered. “Since forever.”

  He nodded, pulled another box from his pocket, and revealed a beautiful marquise cut diamond. “So I guess all that’s left is this. Will you marry me, Mouse?”

  “Yes.” Natalie let him slip the ring on her finger and pull her to her feet. She put her arms around his neck and waited for his kiss. “Tanner, I said yes. I’ll marry you.”

  “I know.” He grinned and touched his nose to hers. “I just want to stay here a minute.”

  “Okay.” She nodded, traced the side of his face with a finger, and willed her heart to quit pounding.

  “Did you see what’s on the table?” he asked.

  “Is that our new wine?”

  “It is.” Tanner held her closer. “I hear it’s pretty amazing. Could be the one.”

  “It is, Tanner. I’m sure of it.”

  “Jeff said you were waiting for me to name it.”

  “Well, we thought it only appropriate.”

  “Thank you.” His smile lit his eyes and his embrace felt like home. “I have the perfect name picked.”

  Natalie arched a brow. “Which would be?”

  “Kismet.” His smile broadened, his eyes shimmering under the tiny lights.

  Perfect, indeed.

  Happy laughter tumbled from her as Natalie shook her head, delighting in his mischievous grin. “Did you just say ‘kiss me’?”

  “No,” Tanner slid his hands around her face, his breath warm and inviting as he filled the space between them. “But I don’t mind if you do.”

  Acknowledgments

  OUR FIRST TRIP TO CALIFORNIA TOOK PLACE ABOUT FIVE years ago. My husband and I were celebrating our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary, and I was completely captivated by the area from the moment we crossed the Golden Gate Bridge and I caught my first glimpse of the rolling brown hills, tall cypress trees, and rows upon rows of lush grapevines. It was a trip we both cherish and one I was still thinking about that following summer. My in-laws weren’t doing well at the time, and we were spending a lot of time in Canada driving back and forth to visit them. The route we took from our cottage in northern Ontario to their home was scenic, the road winding around lakes and forests. In some way it reminded me of that magical trip to Sonoma, and in all the driving time, the idea for this story was born.

  If you’ve read any of my previous books, you know I love writing about family. As The Memory of You began to take shape, I realized this one would be perhaps a bit more challenging. The story of sisters, secrets, loss, and fractured families began to play out on the page, and I was reminded of how complicated our lives can be. And once again, God began to whisper, “Grace.”

  Isn’t it astounding that no matter what we’ve done, how far we run, God is always there, just waiting for our return? And His grace is sufficient for all our needs. I love this story for so many reasons, but the biggest takeaway for me is exactly that: God’s grace. My prayer is that you, my reader, will also know this wonderful gift.

  Once a story is complete, much hard work and dedication from many other people go into the making of a book, and I must thank everyone who played a part to get this story into your hands.

  Rachelle Gardner, my agent and friend, your godly wisdom and guidance and support over the years mean more than I can ever adequately express. Thank you for
always being there.

  To the amazing team at Harper Collins: Becky Monds—when I signed my contract, I was told that you were “the best” and that I would love you. So true. Thanks for everything you do to make me a better writer. Thanks to everyone else on the team—Daisy, Amanda, Becky, Jodi, Karli, Kristen, Paul, everyone in marketing and sales, and all those who work behind the scenes to give the world great fiction. I can’t thank you enough for your support, encouragement, and enthusiasm. Natalie Hanemann, it was wonderful to work with you again. Your insight and editing skills are always so much appreciated.

  To my community of writing friends, you make me a little less crazy. It’s a beautiful thing when friends feel like family. I thank you for doing life with me, getting real, and more importantly, letting me get real (actually I think you insist on it), and for talking me down off those ledges when necessary. This journey wouldn’t be nearly as much fun without you.

  And to all the wonderful book bloggers and reviewers who have become friends along the way, you have my sincere gratitude and humble thanks for all you do to make getting the word out about a new release just that much easier.

  My family and friends in Bermuda and abroad, thank you for your continued support of my writing. Thanks as always to my Dad and Vivian, for reading and sending my books to your friends! To my amazing and talented kids for always believing in me. Sarah and Randy, I can’t wait to read books with my first grandchild. We are so excited for you.

  Chris and Deni, your love and laughter keep me going. You inspire me always!

  And of course to Stephen, my own knight in shining armor—thank you for continuing to love me through this crazy writing journey and for believing in me, and for being mine.

  And to you, my readers, I thank you for reading and supporting me, and for loving my characters as much as I do. I truly love writing books for you to enjoy!