FIGURE 1.2: UFOs are reported in a variety of shapes and sizes.
On the other end of the abduction spectrum, some misguided souls have gone as far as to suggest that they want to be abducted by aliens. Their feeling is that by doing so, they would prove once and for all the existence of aliens and alert all of humanity to their peril. Seeing is believing, in essence.
Bringing an abduction upon yourself is simply a matter of applying the George Costanza principle of doing the opposite of what you have been doing to achieve the opposite results. If what you have been doing has resulted in you not being abducted, then you must do the opposite. This would invariably draw their attention. Start visiting secluded backcountry roads, alone, late at night. Use your cell phone whenever possible to alert them to your location. Approach all strange-looking lights. Put yourself in situations conducive to an alien encounter, and they will come.
But remember, just because you can't remember being abducted doesn't mean that you haven't been already.
2
DEFENSE
It is a doctrine of war not to assume the enemy will not come, but rather to rely on one's readiness to meet him; not to presume that he will not attack, but rather to make one's self invincible.
—Sun Tzu
CHAPTER SUMMARY
The key to defense from the nefarious schemes of our alien adversaries lies not only in knowledge of their vulnerabilities, but in the ability to utilize that knowledge to our advantage. Forewarned is forearmed. The best defense is always offense.
We live in a dangerous world. The very worst things that you can possibly imagine happen to people every day. Not because the people are bad or in any way deserve terrible things, but just because they are alive. Even getting up in the morning and going to work is fraught with untold dangers. Life is complex and dangerous enough without the ever-present threat of finding yourself naked, paralyzed, and being unceremoniously probed by aliens in a clinical examination room onboard an orbiting spacecraft. Whether you are at home, in the office, driving your car, or walking the dog, there are proven methods of protecting yourself, your loved ones, and your home from alien harassment.
PROTECTION FROM ALIEN PARALYSIS
Learning how to counteract alien mind-control techniques is the first step in protecting yourself and your loved ones from the ever-present threat of alien abduction. As explained in the previous chapter, aliens have the ability to paralyze humans by emitting an electrical impulse field from the frontal lobes of their brains. This has the effect of inhibiting human motor-neuron function, resulting in paralysis or the temporary lack of ability to move voluntary muscles.
In the following pages, we will reveal the hitherto unpublished results of secret research carried out by both private and government agencies over the last half-century. This research has proven conclusively that there are defense strategies to counter the aliens' primary weapon of control of our species.
REDUCE PROXIMITY
It has been well documented in both clinical tests and real-life case studies that alien electroparalysis is only effective over a limited range. Once outside that range, their attempts to paralyze you will be futile. This, in many ways, is similar to how your TV remote control works. Your remote control may be able to change channels when you're standing fifteen feet from your TV, but not when standing twenty feet away.
The range of an alien's electroparalysis field also depends on which direction the alien is facing. The field extends more than six feet in front of an alien, but only two feet behind. This is why many abductees have awoken in the night to find an alien squatting on their chest. It is also for this reason that a group of aliens, when under close-range attack, often form an outward-facing defensive circle, even when in retreat.
The effective range also varies depending on a number of other factors, including relative humidity and ambient air temperature, although their impact is minimal. This, however, is no more than a scientific curiosity and of no benefit to you outside of a laboratory situation.
FIGURE 2.1: Remember to keep a 15-foot exclusion zone around all aliens until their electroparalysis field has been disabled.
As it is often difficult to judge distances in stressful situations, it is better to err on the side of caution and stay at least 5–6 yards away from an alien, or approximately the distance across a regular bedroom. Although it is always safer to approach an alien from the rear, do not forget that they can turn quickly, putting you within the danger zone.
DISARM THE SOURCE
Rendering the source of the electroparalysis field inoperable is also an effective way of thwarting an alien attack. As the field is generated within the alien's forehead, any number of techniques can be employed to disarm the source. The classic headshot from a long, medium, or short range, using any variety of weapons, is generally effective (see chapter 4).
FIGURE 2.2: Use a classic headshot to disable alien electroparalysis fields.
Caution must always be shown when approaching aliens presumed dead or injured. Aliens have been known to feign injury and attack or paralyze people who approach too near.
AUDIO-PHONIC RESONANCE
The greatest tactical advantage aliens have over our species is their stealth, technological superiority, and ability to paralyze us, thus rendering us defenseless. All resistance must begin with overcoming the last and most insidious of these powers.
— Bluebird Report, 1996
Audio-Phonic Resonance (AR) is the term coined in the Bluebird Report to describe one of the electroparalysis-blocking techniques successfully employed by dozens of private citizens in attempted abduction situations. The common factor in many documented success stories is that potential abductees were listening to either music or some form of rhythmic chanting — real loud. This came as somewhat of a shock for all those involved in the research, and the correlation between music and survival is still repudiated by many scientists. How could music possibly provide an impenetrable barrier against alien attack?
Wilson and Curruthers's team undertook the arduous task of analyzing the full catalog of recorded music from 1877 to 1996. They discovered that not all types or styles of music or chanting were effective. From more than four million recordings, they found only ten that neutralized alien electroparalysis (see “The AR Top Ten,” page 53). Researchers noted the fact that many of these songs are derived from the rock music tradition of the 1960s to the 1980s. Although they were able to determine that the effective recordings matched the resonance of a particular harmonic frequency that interrupts the electroparalysis effect on nerve endings in the human brain, further study was recommended.
The team also reported that, to be effective, music must be played at or above a critical threshold volume of 100 decibels. Live music worked just as well as recorded music; audiotapes, old 78 rpm records, CDs, and MP3 files were all equally effective, provided they were loud enough.
Although scientists do not fully understand how AR works, researchers are continuing with their efforts to determine the neuro-physiological mechanisms responsible. Yet, not understanding how something works does not detract from its usefulness. (How many of us could explain how a microwave or a television works, for that matter?) Provided strict guidelines are followed, AR does work — offering an impenetrable barrier that gives the victim the opportunity to turn the table on his attackers and demonstrate that humanity will no longer be subjugated to their will.
How to Use Music to Thwart an Alien Paralysis Attack
1. ARM YOURSELF WITH A STURDY MP3 PLAYER. A lightweight, transportable audio device is an indispensable tool in your defense against the alien hordes. Nobody wants to find himself in an abduction situation only to discover that his MP3 player is just not up to the task. Choosing the correct device is an important decision. Your own personal security, and that of your loved ones, may depend on it.
2. MAKE SURE YOUR MP3 PLAYER IS APPROPRIATELY SHIELDED. The electromagnetic pulses created by UFO propulsion systems have been rep
orted to cause a myriad of mechanical failures, instrument malfunctions, and electronic equipment disruptions. Electronic equipment can be protected from these surges by shielding them in what is commonly known as a Faraday cage. This metallic enclosure consists of a conductive mesh that completely surrounds an electronic device and prevents the entry of any electromagnetic field. Faraday cages can be purchased commercially or custom made to suit the design of your MP3 player. It is also recommended that your shield be both waterproof and shockproof.
THE ALIEN INVASION SURVIVAL HANDBOOK
FIGURE 2.3: Use music to thwart electroparalysis.
3. ENSURE THAT YOUR MP3 PLAYER'S BATTERY IS FULLY CHARGED. There are few things worse than realizing you forgot to charge your MP3 player as aliens drag your paralyzed body toward their spacecraft. Play it safe; charge this indispensable device at every opportunity.
4. CREATE A PLAYLIST COMPRISED OF THE AR TOP TEN. There are only ten songs currently known to block alien electroparalysis. Others have been found to be somewhat effective under laboratory conditions but are, as yet, untested in real-life abduction situations. Authorities recommend that due caution be demonstrated when creating an AR playlist. Only choose songs that have a 100 percent track record of success.
5. SET THE SONGS TO LOP. Most of the songs on the AR Top Ten list last for no more than five minutes. Although some abduction attempts last for less than five minutes, many have been protracted affairs lasting many hours. Aliens do not like to lose, particularly when a specific human subject is of significant importance to their nefarious studies.
6. TURN THE VOLUME UP TO THE MAXIMUM LEVEL. Research has shown that music played below 100 decibels has no effect on blocking electro-paralysis. As it is often difficult to determine the exact intensity of sound through earphones, it is best to play the music as loudly as your volume control will allow during an abduction attempt.
THE AR TOP TEN: TRACKS GUARANTEED TO BLOCK ALIEN MIND CONTROL
“Voodoo Child” by Jimi Hendrix
“Thunderstruck” by AC/DC
“My Sharona” by The Knack
“La Grange” by ZZ Top
“Helter Skelter” by The Beatles
“Get on Board, Lil' Children” by Shirley Temple
“Black Betty” by Spiderbait
“The Chicken Dance” by Werner Thomas
“Wild Thing” by The Troggs
any song performed by Tuvan throat singers
THINGS THAT WON'T PROTECT YOU FROM ALIEN MIND CONTROL
Commercially produced or homemade helmets (e.g., tin foil)
Cognitive resistance (e.g., rage, anger, indifference)
A glass of water
Prayers to a deity of your preference
How to Keep Your MP3 Player Safe During Combat Conditions
Extensive field trials of the Audio-Phonic Resonance technique have proven that while any one of the AR Top Ten is playing at 100 decibels or louder, you are invulnerable to alien electroparalysis. But in a combat situation, unforeseen circumstances may result in your MP3 player being damaged or otherwise rendered inoperative. Consider these basic precautions to ensure the music keeps playing and you remain safe from the grappling hands of your enemy.
1. TAPE YOUR EARPHONES TO YOUR HEAD. Duct taping your earphones to your head will ensure that they are not inadvertently pulled out during battle. It takes less than three seconds for an alien to paralyze you. The last thing you want is to be groping around in the dark looking for your earpiece and trying to fit it back into your ear while on the run.
2. SHORTEN YOUR EARPHONE LEADS. This will reduce the chances of them becoming snagged or ripped from your ears. Some advocates of duct taping even suggest taping the leads to your body to avoid snagging.
3. PLACE YOUR MP3 PLAYER IN A SECURE LOCATION. MP3 players are fragile devices and must be treated with care if they are not to fail at a critical moment. Protect your MP3 player from impact shocks, electromagnetic pulses, and water by placing it within a shielding device. Position the MP3 player high on your body with the controls always readily accessible.
4. PACK A “RESERVE.” Having a spare MP3 player will ensure that if the worst happens, you will not be left to the mercy of your alien abductors. Keep it in a velcroed front pocket for easy access.
AUDIO-MORPHIC RECALL
Have you ever had a song trapped in your head, replaying over and over again, like a needle stuck in a record groove? This common phenomenon, known as Audio-Neuronal Looping (ANL), has tormented most of us at some point in our lives. Whether it lasts ten minutes or a week, it can consume our waking moments, driving us to the brink of insanity. ANL can be triggered by a single word or image. It is an entirely subconscious process that seems to come and go at random. These melodious obsessions have no known cure, except time.
The Bluebird Report states that in the absence of an MP3 player, the power of these tuneful cyclic annoyances can also be harnessed to thwart alien electroparalysis. This technique is called Audio-Morphic Recall (AMR). Numerous documented cases and laboratory tests have demonstrated that simply singing more than one of the AR Top Ten proves unsuccessful; however, by recalling one song from the list and “replaying” it in your mind continually, you can block alien attempts to paralyze you.
So how does it work? AMR is similar to singing along to your favorite song on the radio while driving at 80 miles per hour along a winding road in heavy traffic. Only yards from oncoming cars, you face almost certain death if you make even the slightest miscalculation. Yet, none of these details cross your mind as you are driving. It's as if you're on autopilot. You're doing what you have trained yourself to do, without even thinking about it. For AMR to be effective, it has to be an automatic response. The cyclical rhythm of your chosen song must throb away in your head no matter what bizarre events are happening around you. If you lose the tune for so much as a moment, aliens can regain control of your mind, rendering you helpless. Second attempts at escape are rarely successful.
THE ALIEN INVASION SURVIVAL HANDBOOK
How to Condition Your Mind for Music Recollection
1. LISTEN TO THE MUSIC. This is the first and most essential step in building your defensive shield against alien electroparalysis. Even in the direst of circumstances, you must be able to rely on your memory. You cannot remember what you have not learned. The more you hear the songs, the more they will be indelibly etched into the neuronal pathways of your brain.
2. LEARN THE LYRICS. It is not enough to recall the tune and “dah-dah-dah” the words. Both melody and lyrics are symbiotically essential for the success of this technique. Commit them to memory.
3. PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE. Try recalling your favorite songs under a variety of conditions — not just low-stress situations, such as taking a shower or driving the car, but during stressful or tedious ones such as an argument with your partner or waiting in an interminable line at the bank. If you cannot immediately recall a tune during a time of crisis, you are not ready to fend off an alien attack.
LOCATING AND REMOVING ALIEN IMPLANTS
Implants are rice-sized transmission devices surgically inserted in the bodies of human hosts during alien abductions. They are often metallic in composition and can be covered in a thin, organic membrane. They can be found anywhere on the body, from just under the skin, where they can sometimes be felt as a small, hard lump, or deep within muscle tissue or vital organs. Aliens have used implants to identify, track, and monitor human targets for centuries, but it has only been in recent years that their true purpose has been discovered.
Alien implants act as biotelemetry devices that monitor and record the human targets' basic physiological functions. They integrate themselves into the living tissue of their hosts and can survive undetected for decades. There is generally no pain associated with an implant. They come in a variety of shapes and can be found anywhere in the body, but they're always connected to the nervous system, providing direct access to the host's brain.
These ext
raterrestrial parasites also act as miniature global positioning systems, pinpointing the subject's precise geographical location. Although the method of transmission is still, largely, a mystery, it is thought that they somehow utilize the body's biochemical system to generate sufficient energy to operate as ultra-low frequency transceivers, effectively using the entire body as a mobile transmission tower.
Implants are usually in a state of dormancy, silently recording host data until activated by electromagnetic signals from an alien craft. The implant will then continue to transmit the host's data and position until it is switched off again.
Once removed from the body, implants no longer have a source of power and are immediately deactivated. They also seem to have a built-in self-destruction mechanism, causing them to undergo molecular breakdown within minutes of removal from living human tissue and rendering them useless for further scientific analysis. Attempts to reactivate implants by reinserting them into their original hosts or the bodies of surrogate hosts have proven ineffective.
The Alien Invasion Survival Handbook: A Defense Manual for the Coming Extraterrestrial Apocalypse Page 4
