Bad Glass

by Richard E. Gropp

  “They aren’t planning any more expeditions into the hospital,” Danny said, shaking his head. “Everyone’s frustrated. We aren’t getting anywhere, running into walls and cliff faces everywhere we turn. And we have no idea what to do next.” After a moment of thoughtful silence, he raised his glass and smiled. “Let’s drink to the military—science and religion, but with guns!”

  Amanda laughed. “Hear, hear!” she said, raising her glass.

  I took a small sip from my drink. I was already feeling tipsy, and if I wanted to stay conscious, I knew I’d have to take it easy.

  Taylor scooted over to my side and clinked her glass against mine. She smiled at me. It was a warm smile, but there was a hint of a question in her steepled brow. “So tell me,” she said, keeping her voice low. “What happened with Floyd? Why’s he brooding?”

  Before answering her question, I cast a quick glance around the room. Amanda, Mac, and Danny had moved closer to the fireplace; they were warming their hands and laughing, their voices rich and loud in the first flush of intoxication. Charlie was still in the kitchen. For the moment, Taylor and I had a certain amount of privacy. We’d found our own little world here, seated at the foot of the sofa.

  “We followed Devon across the street,” I said, glancing over toward the living-room window. Right now, the window was nothing but a dark square blacked out by the night, but I remembered the view from across the street. Standing at his perch, Devon would have a clear view of our conversation. “He’s been spying on us, spying on the house. With binoculars.” I didn’t mention the radio. “But that’s not what bothered Floyd … We found something over there, under the house. Tunnels.”

  Taylor nodded. There was concern on her face but no surprise. She skated right over the part about Devon’s spying, making me think she already knew, or at least suspected. “What did Floyd see?” she asked instead. “What did he see down there?”

  The question caught me off guard. I’d been expecting questions, but nothing that direct. “I don’t know,” I said when I once again found my voice. “He wouldn’t tell me.”

  She read the confusion on my face and patted me on the forearm. “That’s just what happens,” she said. “That’s what the city does. To each of us.”

  She nodded toward my drink and smiled coyly. “Now drink up. Tomorrow we can worry. Tomorrow we can plan. Tonight …” Her smile grew, and she once again clinked her glass against mine. “Tonight we have booze.”

  “Come on, Dean. Let’s go upstairs.” Her voice was a hushed whisper against my ear. An audible smile. “We should be together. The three of us.”

  Taylor smiled and ran the back of her fingers across my cheek. I pulled away, laughing. I could feel hot blood rushing through my flesh. I was drunk, fucked up, and the whole situation seemed unreal.

  Danny and Taylor each grabbed an arm and helped me to my feet. The room swayed for a moment, and then we headed for the stairs.

  “You up for this?” Taylor whispered in my ear.

  “Yeah,” I said with a surprised laugh. “I guess I am.”

  We staggered into Taylor’s room, and my head spun in the darkness. Then Taylor struck a match and started lighting candles. There were a half dozen total, and she laughed as she stumbled about the room, from candle to candle, trying to keep the match lit.

  Danny put his hand on my shoulder, and I turned to meet his grinning face. “You’ve never done anything like this before, have you?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “No. No. Never fooled around with any guys. I never had the inclination. No offense,” I added lamely.

  “Well, it’s just like with girls,” he assured me.

  “Only manlier,” Taylor said.

  “Only better!” Danny corrected.

  This struck me as extremely funny, and I started to giggle. I should have been nervous, I guess, given the situation and my white-bread upbringing, but I wasn’t feeling it. I wasn’t feeling much of anything. I was trapped inside an envelope of perfect, comfortable warmth, and nothing bad could reach me here. The feeling only seemed to grow as Taylor took my hand and pulled me down onto the bed.

  Taylor propped herself up on one elbow and leaned out over my body. She used her free hand to stroke my face, tracing my unshaven jawline before moving up to my ear. Her touch was soft and tentative, but the act itself—her body over mine, the feel of her breath against my cheek—seemed incredibly intimate. My body responded to her touch, desire and need erupting like a bloom of heat inside my muscles. There was a dreamy look on Taylor’s face, and I reached out to pull her close, but she caught my hands and pushed them back down, moving to lift the sweatshirt off my chest.

  The air was cold. Her hand was colder still as she moved it up and down my naked flesh.

  There was a sudden pressure against my crotch, and I tensed in surprise. I looked up and found Danny sitting at the foot of the bed, his hand kneading the flesh beneath my jeans.

  “Relax,” he said.

  I leaned back and watched Taylor’s face as Danny unbuttoned my pants. I was surprised at the intensity of her gaze; she looked absolutely spellbound—transfixed—as she watched Danny tease my cock free. Lust. It was lust in her eyes. She wants me. Immediately, my cock pulsed rock hard, even before Danny wrapped his hand around its shaft.

  “Nice,” he muttered. Then my entire cock was engulfed in his hot mouth.

  I groaned loudly, shutting my eyes at the intensity of the sensation.

  Danny’s blowjob was like nothing I’d ever had before. The girls I’d been with had all been tentative and gentle, like they were afraid they’d break my cock if they worked it too hard. Danny knew better. I put my hands on the back of his head and started to thrust in and out. He took it without complaint.

  I heard a loud, mechanical click and opened my eyes. Taylor was kneeling beside me with my camera pressed up against her face. She was shooting pictures down the length of my body. I let out a surprised, breathless laugh, then reached up and grabbed her breast. I could feel an erect nipple through her shirt; I could feel her heart beating wildly inside her chest.

  At my touch, she let out a surprised gasp and dropped the camera to the bed. Her hands darted up and immediately covered her face.

  Before I could pull my hand back, she was pushing me away. She kept one hand on her face, hiding her eyes and nose and mouth, and grabbed my wrist with the other. Her grip was strong as she pushed my hand back down to the bed.

  Right then, Danny’s mouth went into overdrive, tightening and speeding up. My legs tensed involuntarily, and I let out a low groan. After a couple more seconds, the friction of his tongue pushed me into climax, and my rigid body fell limp.

  When I recovered enough to open my eyes, I found Taylor watching me carefully. Her hands were back down in her lap, gripping the hem of her shirt. Her complexion looked ashen in the candlelight; the smile she gave me looked forced and a little bit grave.

  “You really needed that, didn’t you?” Danny said, wiping his hand across his mouth. “I could feel it.”

  Taylor smiled down at me and nodded, as if in agreement. Then she reached out and grabbed my hand. I could feel her body quivering as her fingers gripped me tight.

  I ended up giving Danny a handjob while Taylor watched. After what he’d done for me, I figured it was the least I could do.

  His cock felt odd in my hand. He was thicker than me and uncircumcised. And his scrotum was smooth and hairless.

  He let out a loud growl as he came. Then he collapsed back against the bed and muttered a single breathless laugh. It was an absurd sound, without meaning or reason. He reached over the side of the bed and lifted a bottle of Wild Turkey into view.

  The three of us lay in silence for a while, passing the bottle back and forth. I took deep swallows. Whatever clarity I’d had during the adrenaline-sharp sex, it quickly began to fade.

  I was warm. I shut my eyes every time the room began to swim.

  I opened my eyes and found Danny and Taylor
huddled together at the door. Danny had his boots in one hand and the bottle of Wild Turkey in the other. When he saw my eyes flicker open, he flashed me a smile and a quick nod. Then he gave Taylor a peck on the cheek and disappeared into the dark hallway.

  I closed my eyes again.

  Later.

  The room was dark, and I could feel Taylor moving beside me. Tentative fingers brushed against my arm.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, her mouth a couple of inches behind my ear. She was nothing but a voice in the darkness, floating, disembodied. “I should have told you. I just … sometimes—most times, really—I can’t be touched. I just … can’t abide it.” Her voice was breathy, tripping over the emotion in her throat. “But I didn’t want that to come between us. I didn’t want to scare you away.”

  I should have said something. Right then. Right there. I should have reassured her. It doesn’t matter. Or: Together we’ll figure it out. Or maybe: I really don’t give a shit if we’re touching or not. I’d be happy just standing ten feet away from you. But I couldn’t manage it. I couldn’t say a thing.

  I grunted incoherently and fell back asleep.

  Video clip. October 21, 08:15 A.M. Dead end:

  The video starts midsprint, the entire screen jittering as the camera operator runs forward. Judging by the quality of the clip, the camera is a fairly cheap consumer model—strictly low-def. The color is muted and washed out. The audio is inconsistent, distorting in the upper registers.

  The first couple of seconds take place outdoors, at the edge of a field. The ground is covered in snow, and the trees—swinging into view as the camera sways back and forth—are wreathed in a thin layer of frost.

  The camera steadies long enough to show a hunched figure disappearing through an opening in the side of a hill. The opening is a rough mouth dug into the dirt, and the figure has to bend down to make it through. The camera follows in pursuit, heading toward the hole.

  The volume is cranked up loud, and the operator’s breath rasps like a steam engine. Footfalls crunch through the thin layer of snow.

  The camera swings to the side, revealing a disheveled young man, also in pursuit. This man pulls to a stop at the dark opening, directly in front of the camera. He lights a flashlight, then darts inside.

  THE MAN’S VOICE—A DEAFENING, FRANTIC HISS: Mac!

  The video is swallowed in darkness. There is an occasional blinding burst of light as the flashlight beam swings into view, but it does little to illuminate the scene. The squelch of muddy footsteps and the loud rasp of breath drown out all other sound.

  THE MAN’S VOICE AGAIN: Mac!

  The video jolts suddenly, and the tape hitches, sending up a single line of static. There is an inaudible curse from behind the camera, and this is greeted with a loud shhhhh! For a brief handful of seconds, the camera is relatively still, showing the dark earthen walls as the flashlight pans back and forth.

  There are three open tunnels here, leading into the darkness ahead.

  THE CAMERA OPERATOR’S VOICE, DEAFENINGLY LOUD: What the fuck is this?… (Followed by an unintelligible, breathless rush of words.)

  The man with the flashlight sprints into the middle tunnel, and the camera follows. Fifteen seconds pass, filled with panting breath, loud footsteps, and momentary bursts of light. Then the man with the flashlight slows to a stop. The camera pans around him, revealing another man kneeling at a dead-end wall. His ear is pressed into the dirt, and his hands are splayed at his side. Tears streak his muddy face. His mouth is moving even before he starts to speak.

  THE KNEELING MAN, IN A DISTORTED WHISPER: (Unintelligible) … her singing?

  All three people freeze like statues, holding their breath. The camera catches the kneeling man as he closes his eyes and pushes his face deeper into the mud.

  After a couple of seconds, a bare hint of noise swells up above the background hiss of videotape and speaker distortion. It is a melodic, wordless whisper, muffled and muddy, without place or direction.

  It is sweet and warbling. And it is a long, long way away.

  “Dean.”

  It was a breathy, feminine whisper, hanging in the darkness above me.

  “Please, Dean. Please wake up.”

  There was a hand on my shoulder, shaking me gently, trying to pull me up from the depths of sleep. I resisted. I kept my eyes shut and rolled away from the voice, burying my face in the pillow. It was warm there, inside the pillow.

  Inside the pillow, there was nothing but heat and sleep and dreams.

  “Where is she, asshole? What have you done?”

  Mac grabbed the back of my sweatshirt and pulled me off the bed. The sweatshirt ripped at the seams, and I fell to the carpeted floor. My right elbow hit the ground hard, numbing my entire arm.

  “What the fuck?” I gasped, pushing the question out through gritted teeth.

  He grabbed me by the hair and pulled me across the room, my feet scrambling beneath me as I tried to relieve the pressure on my scalp. He pushed me up against the wall and wrapped his fist around my neck. His thumb dug into my windpipe, making my eyes water; I saw his bearded, frenzied face through a blur of pain. There were tears in his eyes. The muscles in his jaw trembled with seething emotion.

  We were alone in the room. Taylor was gone.

  “Where is she?” Mac yelled, spraying saliva across my face. “Where the fuck did she go?”

  “I … I don’t know,” I managed, my voice a thin croak, barely making it past his clenched fist. I thought he meant Taylor. Did she flee? I wondered. Why? Was it because of our night with Danny? The sex had been dizzying, overwhelming, and I didn’t know what to think of it myself. Or is it because I touched her?

  “Mac! Mac! What the fuck are you doing?” It was Sabine’s voice, coming from the hallway.

  Without taking his eyes off me, he raised his free hand, waving a crumpled piece of paper toward the door. “She’s gone,” he growled. “And this little piece of shit’s responsible.”

  “Calm down,” Sabine said. “Let him go.” Her voice was placating but firm. She moved into my line of sight, pushing her hands up against Mac’s chest, trying to get him to relax his grip.

  I was quickly losing my vision; the edges of the world contracted inward, like an aperture sliding shut over my eyes.

  “I said let … him … go!” Sabine yelled. She threw her body forward, slamming hard into Mac’s chest and knocking him backward. My head snapped forward as he lost his grip on my throat.

  As soon as he let go, I sucked in a great big gulp of air. The rush of oxygen set my sight spinning. My head felt like an over-inflated balloon, ready to float up toward the ceiling. Then my knees buckled, and I slid down to the floor. As I gasped for breath, Sabine stepped out in front of me, holding her hands out toward Mac.

  He kept coming after me, but each time he took a step forward, Sabine pushed him back. His frenzied eyes darted back and forth between us, but he seemed reluctant to turn his anger against Sabine.

  “Calm down,” she said. Mac took another step forward, and she once again pushed him back. “Calm the fuck down!”

  “What’s going on?” Floyd asked. I turned and saw him standing in the doorway. He was rubbing his eyes and yawning. “What time is it?”

  Sabine gave Mac one last push, and the strength left his legs. He collapsed to a sitting position on the edge of the bed. His shoulders slumped forward into a defeated slouch. “Look after him, Floyd,” Sabine said. “Keep him away from Dean. Sit on him if you have to.”

  Sabine crouched down at my side. She stared into my eyes for a bit, a concerned look on her face. “You still there, Dean? Everything okay?”

  I tried to speak, but my voice got caught in my throat. I swallowed, pushing saliva over my freshly damaged larynx, and tried again. “Yeah,” I croaked. “But I won’t be singing … in no choir … anytime soon.”

  I glanced over her shoulder and noticed Charlie standing in the open doorway. His eyes were wide, and he wasn’t moving. H
e looked like a statue, a marble effigy carved into the threshold.

  “What the hell was that, Mac?” Sabine growled, turning on her heels. “What the fuck did you think you were doing?”

  Mac was sitting like a forlorn lump on the edge of the bed, his eyes pointed down at his stocking feet. Floyd was sitting next to him. There was a piece of paper in Floyd’s hand: the crumpled sheet Mac had been waving around. Floyd started to read aloud: “There’s something I need to do, someplace I need to be. I know you don’t understand. I’m sorry, Amanda.”

  After he heard Amanda’s words, Mac’s head shot up, the anger suddenly back in his eyes. “It’s all his fault,” he said, nodding toward me. “They’ve been sneaking around. He’s been feeding her delusions. Fucking wolves, my ass! He’s been telling her all of the things she wants to hear!”

  “Amanda’s gone?” Sabine asked, in surprise. “When? When did she leave?”

  “She was gone when I woke up. At first, I thought she was just getting food or making coffee, but then I saw the note. Her boots and jacket are gone, but the rest of her stuff is still here.”

  “Maybe it’s nothing,” Sabine said. “Maybe she just went out for a walk.”

  A cold, bitter smile appeared on Mac’s lips. His eyes remained fixed on my face. “Tell us where she went, Dean. Tell us where you made her go.”

  His voice was scary calm. If his earlier assault had been an act of thoughtless passion, this new voice … this new voice promised cold-blooded, premeditated murder.

  “I might know,” I croaked, looking away from Mac’s angry eyes. “There’s a place she wanted to go.”

  We found her clothing in the park, near the mouth of the tunnel. Each garment was folded and stacked in a neat pile: jacket, sweatshirt, jeans, long underwear, panties, and socks. Her boots stood on either side of the stack like perfectly matched bookends.