Ledmore Junction

by Ian Todd

  He looked at Findlay o’er the tap ae the lens, as Johnboy heard the shutter ae the lens clatter.

  “Wan mair fur the road, eh?” Cleftie continued, as the two new arrivals stood wae their backs tae the serving coonter, looking across at the photographer, as he snapped their bemused faces o’er Findlay’s right haun shoulder.

  Chapter Fifty Nine

  Donna The Prima Donna studied the features oan the face ae the chief inspector fae the fraud squad sitting across the desk fae her. Despite producing an awful stutter when he became nervous or over excited, he still hid that boyish look. There wis a definite Paul McCartney look aboot him. She knew he did a wee bit ae running and rowing wae wan ae the Clyde rowing clubs. There wis only wan thing that really irritated her aboot him though. Arty Bruce wis never ambitious enough fur her liking. He also looked exactly whit he wis…a plain clothed polisman fae within the ranks ae Strathclyde Polis. He wid’ve stood oot like a sore thumb in a crowd ae similar, smartly dressed men, his age in the toon. If a Martian wis asked tae guess who the bizzy wis in a line up, Arty wid be picked oot first. He couldnae see it himsel. She remembered hivving that exact conversation wae him wan summer’s day, sitting sharing a sandwich wae him oan a bench doon oan George Square, a few years back. She’d been trying tae tell him tae loosen up and stoap being so obvious. He’d been pretty dismissive and jist widnae take a telling. The square hid been busy, wae people crisscrossing each other’s path, dashing aboot like ants, gaun aboot their business.

  “Right, then,” he’d said, turning tae look at her wae a smarmy look oan his face. “Spot the cop,” he’d challenged her wae a sweep ae his haun.

  “Which wan?” she’d asked.

  “Eh?” she remembered him exclaiming, scanning the crowd, looking fur the other wan, as she’d sat there laughing at him.

  “That big ugly fella, the wan wae the dimpled chin, sitting o’er there looking like a spare prick at a wedding and the guy walking diagonally towards us wae his jaicket buttoned up while everywan else’s goat theirs folded o’er their erms?”

  “Whit, hiv ye met them before like?”

  “Don’t be daft.”

  “So, how kin ye tell then?”

  “If you promise no tae insult ma intelligence, Arty, then Ah promise no tae get annoyed at ye,” she’d warned him.

  That’s wisnae tae say he wandered aboot wae a pointed arrow above his heid. The majority ae them wur aw like that though. They aw hid that certain aura aboot them. No matter how casual or smart they dressed, they always managed tae gie themsels away. It wis the way they stood or looked…a kind ae forced nonchalance, never being able tae act naturally. Christ, even her wee granddaughters could spot them a mile aff, before they’d started primary school. It wis strange. It wis probably the only job in the world, oot ae uniform, where people knew who ye wur jist by looking at ye. Glesga undercover polis, no matter how much they tried, jist couldnae blend in wae a crowd, even when taught by The School Ae Blending In By Numbers. She watched him taking a hanky oot ae his pocket and blow his nose. She wanted tae ask him if he ever hid a snottery sleeve as a wean. If he hid, she reckoned that auld domineering maw ae his wid’ve ripped the jersey aff his back as quick as a flash. She wondered if that wis maybe where the source ae they faults and insecurities ae his regarding promotion came fae. She’d gied him a lift hame oan the night ae his twenty-first birthday. It seemed such a long time ago noo. He’d somehow managed tae find himsel separated fae the crowd that wur oot celebrating wae him. He claimed that he couldnae remember why he’d ended up, doon in the dungeon toilets ae Central Station, seeing as he lived in the north ae the city. While he’d been staunin there hivving a slash, two guys hid set aboot him and robbed him. When she’d come across him, efter haunin o’er a bag stuffed tae the gunnels wae dosh tae wan ae her lassies, who wis delivering it oan the overnight sleeper tae Kings Cross, he’d been sitting oan his lonesome, pissed as a fart, oan the steps ae the station, the wans that led doon oan tae Union Street. The blood hid been pissing oot ae that broken nose ae his. She’d felt sorry fur him. He’d looked a lot younger than twenty-wan. Sitting in the car, she’d soon sussed oot that he wis a new polis recruit. She’d also found oot, through that bubbling ae his, that his da wis in a wee bit ae bother wae some ae The Big Man’s moneylenders in the toon. It hidnae been fur a few pennies either. It hid been his lucky night, despite the broken nose. She’d taken pity oan him. He didnae need tae tell her that his auld man wis in deep shit. He’d also been worried that whitever the ootcome ae the situation between his da and the moneylenders, his so-called career as wan ae Glesga’s finest, wid probably end up flushed doon the lavvy pan, alang wae his father’s spilt blood. The wrang association in a place like Glesga, wherever ye worked, wis never the best start in a career, especially in Glesga’s finest. Before drapping him aff, she’d gied him her card. She’d telt him that if he could remember whit he’d telt her the night before, when he woke up the following morning, he could get in touch wae her and she’d see whit she could dae tae help him oot. She never thought she’d hear fae him again, bit tae her surprise, she’d received a phone call two days later. Desperate times and desperate measures go haun in haun. She’d been well aware ae the perils his da hid been facing. When he’d telephoned, he’d been howling doon the line tae her...which wis understandable, given the circumstances. Big Pat’s boys hid jist informed his da, in no uncertain terms, that there wid be nae extension tae the exorbitant loan he’d been failing tae pay aff. That da ae his hid a week tae cough up whit he owed or he wid be haudin up wan ae the new multi-storeys that hid started springing up in the toon at the time. Of course, she’d be able tae help him oot, she’d soothed, trying tae calm him doon. It hid only taken a quick phone call and coughing up five hunner quid, a fortune in they days, tae sort the wee problem oot. His da hid been able tae retire wae his body and soul intact, while she’d inherited two bookie shoaps worth five times whit she’d handed o’er. The icing oan the cake though, hid been the promise ae his unswerving loyalty, tae help her oot every noo and again, should the need ever arise. She’d been looking oot fur Arty ever since, regularly encouraging him tae climb up the greasy pole in the ranks. Despite it being true whit people said, that a sow’s ear disnae make a silk purse, it hid still been wan ae the best and cheapest investments she’d ever made back in they early days. Since then, she’d been trying tae convince him oan which direction he should progress his career. He could’ve been a superintendent by noo, if the stupid basturt hid only listened tae her. Anyway, whit wis done, wis done. She’d learned early in life that there wis nae point in crying o’er spilt milk. Ye jist hid tae work wae whit ye hid and hoped everything turned oot as planned. He’d been in the fraud squad fur the past eighteen months and regularly supplied her wae intelligence oan the best fraudulent scams currently oan the go and who wis behind them. Knowledge wis the key tae power in the toon. That’s whit kept her wan step ahead ae the rest ae the pack. There hid been a few times o’er the years when he’d showed signs ae being a bit restless…ae maybe wanting oot ae their wee agreement, bit thankfully, he’d never hid the baws tae come oot and say it directly tae her face. Mind you, wae whit she hid oan him, who could blame him? It wis at times like that, she’d hiv tae turn oan the charm, before slinging him a few wee juicy ditties, free ae charge, that him or his team ae investigators hidnae known aboot.

  “Whit?” he asked her, smiling.

  “It’s you,” she replied.

  “Whit aboot me?”

  “Ah think it’s aboot time you moved oan.”

  “Me? Move oan tae where?”

  “Upwards and oanwards, Arty,” she replied, smiling, lighting up her wee fag holder.

  “Donna, Ah am where Ah am. Guys ma age don’t get above chief inspector rank. Believe you me, that’s how it’s always been. Christ, Ah’m thirty-eight, so Ah am. If that wis gonnae happen, it wid’ve happened long before noo. Ah’ve only goat a few mair years before Ah’m oot oan that arse ae mine, so Ah hiv
.”

  “See, there ye go. Putting yersel doon again. Why dae ye think that is?”

  “Look, Ah hear whit ye’re saying, bit even you won’t be able tae influence that fact. They’re bringing up aw the wummin in the force noo. Even though Cleopatra’s in the jail, her legacy is still alive and well, so it is.”

  “And so it should be,” Donna light-heartedly scolded him. “Anyway, dae ye want promotion or dae ye no?”

  “Ah’m listening,” he said, no sounding too convinced.

  “Ah’m serious, Arty, bit ye’ll hiv tae play it ma way or there will be no way.”

  The chief inspector looked at the expensively dressed wummin sitting across the desk fae him. She wis sitting back in that expensive chair ae hers, looking at him, a wee crooked smile spread across her painted coupon. In aw the years he’d known Donna Jeffs, she’d never put him in a compromising position…at least no that he could remember. Also, maist ae the time, the support hid been aw wan sided. He’d never felt that she took advantage ae that position ae his. She’d no only saved his auld man’s life, bit she’d always treated him wae some semblance ae respect, given his job and the fact that everywan knew fine well that she hid a pathological phobia ae the polis. The only thing she hated mair than the polis wis that man ae hers, Fraser Jeffs. He’d tried tae convince her o’er the years that people in the force wur jist normal people like him, bit he’d gied up trying long ago. Theirs wisnae a mother hen type ae relationship. He wisnae as daft as tae believe that the business side wisnae the dominant factor in there. Despite her busy life, she never furgoat an anniversary or a birthday, especially fur they kids ae his. His weans always hid the latest Barbie or Tiny Tears dolls and Action Man every Christmas when they wur growing up. His and Andrea’s first holiday abroad hid been courtesy ae Donna. Amazing when he thought aboot it. At the time, he’d never known or come across anywan in the force that hid been abroad oan holiday. The only thing that seemed tae bug her aboot him, wis when she saw others pass him by that hid come intae the force long efter him. Despite her encouragement, he’d never been that ambitious, bit time wis marching oan noo and the thought ae retiring oan a wee scabby pension, hid awready raised itsel in the night mair than a few times when he couldnae sleep fur his wife’s excessively loud snoring. Efter nearly twenty years, he could be oot oan that arse ae his anytime. He wondered whit game she wis spinning this time. O’er the years, there hid been a few times when her name hid cropped up oan intel reports. Nothing too dramatic or damaging. It wis usually in relation tae being identified as being an associate wae some ae the big boys in the toon. As far as he knew, she’d never been properly investigated. Whenever he came across an ID ae her, he blagged the pertinent document and passed it oan tae her. Whenever that happened, he always goat a handsome wee bonus, no matter how irrelevant the intel seemed tae him at the time. He wisnae as daft as no tae realise that the foundations ae the relationship hid always been based oan quid pro quo…you scratch ma back and Ah’ll scratch yours. He liked tae think it wis mair than that, bit he’d probably never know whit the truth wis. Despite her age, she wis as sharp as a razor and as unforgiving as an elephant wae a sore arse, if anywan ever crossed her. She hid so many people in her pocket he often wondered why she bothered wae somewan as insignificant as him. Despite a few hairy moments in his career when she’d asked him tae supply her wae sensitive information, he’d never regretted being picked up aff the steps ae Central Station and taken under her wing. Whitever she meant tae other people, she’d been the wan that hid saved that da ae his, which meant his ma as well. He looked across at her. She hid that look…the look that telt him that she’d awready lapped up aw the cream. It wis hard no tae feel nervous sitting there, being oan the receiving end ae that smile ae hers. He sensed this wis something different fae the other requests…something important. There wis only wan way tae find oot whit she hid planned fur him.

  “Okay, Ah’m listening,” he repeated, sitting up in the chair in anticipation.

  “That’s better,” she purred, taking a drag ae her fag. “Robert Hamilton?”

  “Who?”

  “Deputy Finance Director…the wan who mentioned me in that phone call ye overheard a wee while back? Remember?”

  “Him? Whit aboot him?”

  “That basturt’s oan the make, so he is…aye and Ah’m talking big time here, so Ah am,” she announced, suddenly coming alive, as if she’d jist been plugged intae an electric socket, as his nervousness increased. “And you Arty, ma boy, ur gonnae help me take the basturt doon.”

  Arty fell back oan the chair, stunned.

  “Bit he’s a… a…an…assistant director!” he stuttered.

  “Ye did say that ye’ve goat the rest ae the day aff, didn’t ye?”

  “Aye, bi…bi…bit Da…Da…Donna…”

  “Tell me this, Arty. As a professional in Glesga’s finest, kin you explain tae somewan as simple as me,” she asked, interrupting him, “how an Assistant Director ae Finance wae Strathclyde Polis, is able tae sign aff hundreds ae cheques intae his ain, personal bank account, amounting tae tens ae thousands ae pounds o’er a period ae five or six years, withoot anywan asking him whit the fuck he’s up tae?”

  Chapter Sixty

  “Shush! Keep the noise doon,” Johnboy hissed, as everywan curled up in a fit ae giggles, as Cleftie exaggerated putting oan his best sober expression, before setting everywan aff again.

  It wis hard no tae laugh, as the five ae them lay there oan tap ae the hill overlooking Vestey’s Bay, where he’d confronted PC Long Face wae the PPK earlier that morning. It wis like something oot ae a Famous Five novel. Fur some strange reason, he’d assumed that it wid’ve jist been him and Cleftie that wid be looking doon at the lorry reversing back towards the water line ae the beach, as wan ae Angus MacKenzie’s boys slung a rope aff ae The Pride Ae Assynt tae the semi-dark clad figure oan the beach. He looked at his watch. It wis jist efter wan o’clock in the morning. The tide wis in as far as it wid go, as the pulley between the bow ae the boat and the back ae wan ae the Bedfords wis being set up. Despite the hour, it wis actually quite light. The round circle patterns in the sand made by the tyres ae the lorries looked quite artistic fae where they wur, high above the bay. A few seconds earlier, Cleftie hid been scanning everywan’s face wae the wee cine camera he’d brought wae him, impersonating fitba commentator Arthur Montford’s voice doon tae a T.

  “And in the line-up at the far end oan this warm evening, we hiv the wan and only Flintlock McBean, well known in the Highlands amongst the female population, particularly the black faced ewes, ae being a strong bit gentle lover. Beside him at number two, Findlay MacLeod, the only man in Lochinver tae admit tae hivving gied up the search, efter only a week ae franticly searching, efter discovering that he’d drapped a five pence piece coin doon oan Lochinver High Street, oan the last day ae 1975. However, despite stiff competition fae the other two stars in tonight’s line-up, the winner this week at number wan is Ewan MacKenzie, the only Highlander ever tae wear a live Vermilingua, commonly known in the dance parlours ae Inverness as the long-nosed Mexican Ant-eater, tae Lochinver’s world famous ‘Annual Grab A Grannie Highland Ceilidh Dance.’ MacKenzie later claimed that he couldnae find his good dress sporran in the back ae his wardrobe that night, so hid tae make dae wae whitever wis oan haun at the time. Mackenzie, who stupidly believed that he could get away wae the dastardly deceit, despite thirteen Highland maidens hivving fainted in distress within two minutes ae his arrival, denied tae Sheriff Hamish McChookter at Dornoch Sheriff Court that he could control the randy long necked beast. Thankfully, peace wis only restored that night efter local hero, Angus Pluck, a local poultry farmer, wrung the neck ae the long, swaying, hypnotic semi-erect creature, as it attempted tae escape up the front ae Lady Sutherland’s knee-length tartan skirt, as MacKenzie and Lady Sutherland glided across the Slipperine-covered dance flair. Despite intense speculation, The Northern Times chief reporter, Alasdair Bagshaw, couldnae discover whit the hell Ma
cLeod wis daeing wae such an exotic creature as a Mexican Ant-eater up in a place like Lochinver.”

  “Here we go, lads,” Flintlock suddenly announced, as everywan stiffened and looked towards the heidland tae the right ae Happy Horizons Holiday Park.

  “Dae ye reckon that’s Gibby Munro, the Customs and Excise guy, Flintlock?” Johnboy asked, as the twinkling ae the lights fae the deck ae the boat bobbled up and doon oan the swell, still oot ae sight ae the black fish merchants doon oan the beach.

  “Aye, that’ll be him, laddie,” Ewan replied, jist as the sound ae an engine reached them coming o’er the track tae their left.

  Despite hivving the heidlights switched aff, they could still make oot the blue light oan tap ae the cab and the white polis lettering oan the side ae the driver’s door as it slowly made its way doon the track. Cleftie gently swung the cine camera roond tae the vehicle.

  “Is there enough light tae capture whit’s happening, Cleftie?” Johnboy whispered tae him.

  “Ah’m no sure. It’s a good camera though and hisnae let me doon before,” he replied, scanning the lens back tae the lorries doon oan the beach.

  “They’ve noticed the police vehicle,” Flintlock murmured, as everywan lay watching the reaction.

  Although they couldnae hear whit wis being said, it wis obvious that the arrival ae the polis hid caused a wee stir. Wan ae the boxes ae fish that hid been getting hauled alang the line ae the pulley towards the back ae the lorry stoapped midway and wis noo hinging there, gently swaying in the light breeze. The two dark figures oan the back ae the lorry jumped doon oan tae the beach tae join the other three as the polis Landy stoapped behind Heckie MacLeod’s wan oan the track. Whitever wis gonnae happen, the Bedfords wur gaun nowhere. The polis vehicle wis blocking any exit. Johnboy looked oot oan tae The Minch. The Customs and Excise boat hid noo cleared the heidland and wis making its way across Achmelvich Beach towards the smaller heidland and Vestey’s Bay. It wis obvious that Angus MacKenzie, the skipper ae The Pride Ae Assynt, wisnae aware that his escape route wis aboot tae be blocked, as he jumped aff the boat, doon oan tae the sand tae join the others, milling aboot.