Ledmore Junction

by Ian Todd

  “Ah’d never heard ae the man. The first time wis when Arty here came and telt me that he’d overheard ma name being mentioned during a telephone conversation roond in Pitt Street. That’s why it’s so upsetting. Ah mean, why me? Whit his somewan like me ever done tae deserve that name ae mine being brought up in vain? However, as Ah mentioned earlier, imagine ma surprise tae discover that this so-called laird wan, who’s been desperate tae snap up the property that Johnboy and Senga hiv jist bought fur themsels, is the same basturt within Strathclyde Polis who’s been trying tae put a squeeze oan me. It aw started tae make sense, so it did. The snake wisnae efter Belvedere Gardens efter aw. It became clear that the basturt wis firing a wee warning shot across they bows ae mine. As far as Ah’m aware, he still hisnae made the connection between me, Johnboy and Senga. He believes that it’s me that owns Little Vestey’s Croft. Personally, Ah couldnae gie a shit aboot the place. Given whit he offered me through that chookter manager ae his, Ah wid’ve gladly took his money and ran. It’s jist a pity Ah wisnae in a position tae haun it o’er. Whit’s annoying though is that somewan like him actually believes he’s in a position tae cause somewan like me a wee bit ae trouble here in the toon. Imagine…being shaken doon by a bloody civvy pen-pusher, who isnae even a real polisman? Of course, that set the alarm bells aff in that heid ae mine straight away, so it did. Ah mean, as everywan in this room wid agree, Ah’m no the suspicious type, so when somewan like that tries tae put the squeeze oan somewan as honest and hard working as me, then there’s nae telling who’ll be next,” The Madonna, sitting in amongst them declared, looking pious, as everywan sat there, trying hard no tae pish themsels laughing. “O’er tae yersel, Cleftie, son.”

  “Cheers, Donna,” Cleftie acknowledged, looking aroond the table. “Right, then, we know that efter his da’s offices roond oan Renfield Street wur sold, Hamilton’s final cut fae his da’s estate, wance his ma goat her share, amounted tae nearly eighty thousand. Quite a tidy wee sum, bit clearly no enough fur whit he wis planning. Six years ago, Robert Hamilton set up a company called Assynt Development Holdings, based up in Lochinver, oan behauf ae The Inver Trust, which hid been set up aroond aboot the same time. The Inver Trust put ten grand intae the company as working capital. Tae the ootside world, Robert Hamilton is currently a highly paid accountant doon here in the toon wae Strathclyde Polis and up there in the Highlands, he’s the managing director ae a successful investment company. However, he’s jist a salaried employee wae the company. Assynt Development Holdings operates oan behauf ae The Inver Trust. Youse probably also won’t be surprised tae learn that The Inver Trust wis set up in his wife and two daughters’ names. In simple terms, setting up a family trust is a tax con that wealthy families use tae avoid paying whit everywan else his tae. Wance a trust his been in existence and operating fur seven years, which in this case is next year, the trustees won’t hiv tae pay any substantial death duties should any ae the Hamilton’s die before their three score years and ten. They also won’t need tae pay exorbitant ongoing corporation taxes against the company’s profits, the same as everywan else. The terms ae the trust also allows the wife and daughters tae draw doon whit is termed as a living wage fae the trust funds, withoot being hammered by the taxman. Believe you me, efter whit Ah discovered, the wife and the daughters urnae exactly shy when claiming substantial amounts tae cover their lavish lifestyles. Oan the surface, there’s nothing illegal gaun oan in there. The Trust basically gies the family a cheap and legal way ae accumulating wealth withoot hivving tae pay fur it. In the hauns ae a scamming basturt like Hamilton though, it serves the purpose ae keeping the wife and two daughters separated fae whit he’s up tae…efter aw, he’s jist a paid employee, like everywan else in the company. By setting up the trust in his wife and weans’ names, it also acts as a buffer, or a smokescreen, should the authorities, like the polis doon here, ever investigate whit he’s up tae financially. Since being set up, the trust his acquired, through Assynt Development Holdings, tracts ae land, hotels, restaurants and letting properties, as well as investing substantial amounts ae money intae buying fishing boats and a fish processing plant. Four years previous tae setting up the trust and the company in 1970, Hamilton purchased a wee Highland estate, consisting ae twelve hunner acres. No long efter the purchase, the missus and two daughters moved up tae Lochinver oan a permanent basis. It’s through the family being landowners that he started referring tae himsel as The Laird. Also, due tae Assynt Development Holdings’ lavish acquisitions and spending, the locals started calling him The Laird ae Lochinver. When his wife’s no buying up hauf the Highlands, he lives in a smart part ae Bishopbriggs in a semi-detached hoose during the week. He heids up north tae join the family oan the weekends. When Ah wis up oan ma wee jaunt recently, Ah couldnae find any evidence that his missus plays an active role in the company. He’s the power behind the throne. Wan ae Johnboy’s connections up there, a guy called Flintlock McBean, who owns the local caravan park, telt me that no long efter Hamilton bought the estate, the local graveyard hid jist aboot filled up. There wis only aboot two or three lairs left in the cemetery. Sutherland Council, oor equivalent ae The Corporation doon here, enquired aboot purchasing a couple ae acres ae the adjoining estate tae expand it. The land in question wis worthless and hid nae useful purpose. Despite pleas fae the local minister and his congregation, Hamilton telt them tae fuck aff. So, if ye die, ye get buried ten miles away fae the auld graveyard. That’s the person we’re dealing wae here. Seemingly, people dread dying in winter because the hearse is forever getting stuck oan route when there’s heavy snow oan the go. Oan the surface, given the family assets, Hamilton disnae really need tae work doon here in the toon. His current salary as Deputy Heid ae Finance fur Strathclyde polis is jist o’er twenty four grand a year.”

  “Twenty odd grand? Christ, that’s still a massive amount ae money tae be coming in,” Pearl said. “A fortune compared tae whit somewan like me’s oan and Ah’m supposed tae be classed as being a highly paid professional.”

  “As well as buying the big hoose,” Cleftie continued, staunin up and pointing tae the photos stuck up oan the wall. “The estate came wae nine cottages or lodges, as they call them up there. Throughoot the year, the company fills them wae fishermen and the hunting and shooting brigade. Brings in a fortune tae the trust via the company each year, so it dis. Hamilton purchased the estate ootright at a cost ae a hunner and ten grand. Remember, that wis four years before The Inver Trust and Assynt Development Holdings wur set up and well before his auld man died. Between renovating the big hoose and the cottages, a further seventy six grand wis spent tae bring them up tae a habitable state. No long efter the trust and the company wur set up, Assynt Development Holdings bought aw the land attached tae the estate, including the cottages, bit minus the big hoose, fur a fraction ae whit he’d originally purchased it fur. The cost ae renovating the nine cottages wisnae mentioned in the land schedule and didnae factor in the valuation, so wisnae reflected in the price. That schedule also didnae reflect the value fur the fishing rights ae a stretch ae water that runs along the shoreline ae the estate called Elder’s Pool. This is the best stretch ae water fur fishing in the area. Costs a bloody fortune tae get a day’s fishing permit and attracts people fae aw o’er the world seemingly. Within two days ae purchasing Inver Estate, the Hamilton’s fenced the property aff tae stoap the locals fae getting access tae Elder’s Pool. This wis people who’d been fishing there fur hunners ae years fur free.”

  “Aye, that wis a smart move, being able tae transfer the estate withoot highlighting the lucrative parts,” Harry agreed, butting in. “Assynt Development Holdings bought the estate fur an absolute fraction ae whit it wis really worth. He’d deliberately undervalued everything withoot highlighting the potential fur development. Within a year, the trust goat an independent valuation ae its holdings done by the same land management company that hid valued it before Hamilton sold it tae the company. The land management company is called Galbraith’s. They’ve
been aroond fur a couple ae hunner years. It won’t come as a surprise tae any ae youse that the value that he’d sold it fur a year earlier hid soared by over seven hunner percent, the crafty basturt. Looking at it, people might think, so whit? It’s aw owned by the same person or family at the end ae the day. By transferring aw the moneymaking elements, it put the Assynt Development Holding Company in a strong financial position where it didnae need tae go tae the banks fur running capital, or if it did, there widnae hiv been any shortage ae banks willing tae put up loans or attracting investors. As awready stated by Cleftie, it also covered his tracks should anywan, like us, attempt tae investigate how much Mr Hamilton wis really worth. Anywan looking at Robert Hamilton’s personal assets wid discover that he owned a modest wee property up in Bishopbriggs and a holiday hoose up in the Highlands. Oan its ain, owning two modest properties widnae be that unusual fur somewan in his position, particularly seeing as he’d inherited a substantial sum fae his da’s will. Clever, eh?”

  “So,” Cleftie said, nodding at Harry, taking o’er the flair again. “Other than originally buying the estate fur cash, before selling it tae the trust fur a fraction ae its value, oor civvy polisman then went kinda mad, so he did. This wis like that wee maw ae mine being let loose at Christmas doon in Goldbergs oan LSD, so it wis. Here’s a few ae the properties acquired by the trust, aw cash up front, during that period,” he continued, pointing tae the first ae the photographs. “The Inver Hotel, twenty two grand plus another fifty six renovating it. The auld fire station, which wis purchased fur nineteen grand, before converting it intae plush holiday flats at a cost ae forty five grand ur jist two ae the early investments. Assynt Development Holdings spent a total ae three hunner and thirty eight grand in acquisitions during their first year ae operating. The following year, 1971, the company purchased two deep sea fishing trawlers and a shallow water fishing boat called The Pride Ae Assynt, oan tap ae a fish processing company doon at the harbour. Total costs? Two hunner and forty five grand. Since then, he’s been buying up aw sorts ae property as it comes oan tae the market, cash in haun, under the company’s name. Of course, ye won’t find the original source ae the finance. Anywan looking at the books wid find that the purchases hiv come fae the profits accumulated by the company, as Harry here kin confirm. Whit the books won’t tell ye is that maist ae the acquisitions wur purchased through Assynt Development Holdings at fifty percent ae their real value. We believe that Hamilton uses dirty money tae top up the other fifty percent behind the scenes. It’s only efter a year or two that the acquisitions are properly valued. As Harry here’s awready mentioned, the books ur aw cooked tae fuck by a local land management company called Galbraith’s. We suspect Galbraith’s probably walk away wae between ten and fifteen percent ae the embezzled dosh every time they process a dodgy purchase. Aw the money used tae acquire the purchases and acquisitions wid’ve been laundered fae another source, as Harry is jist aboot tae confirm. It’s aw really complicated tae a mere mortal like me, so it is.”

  “Aye, well, Ah’m no even gonnae pretend that Ah’ve a clue whit’s been said here,” Pearl admitted, as the business people in the company aw smiled at her.

  “Never you mind that, Pearl, hen. Your turn is coming, so it is, pet,” Donna cooed, lighting up a fag. “Harry?”

  “Ah suppose the key question is where the hell is the cash-cow that’s allowed Assynt Development Holdings tae expand so rapidly o’er the years?” Harry asked them, looking roond the table. “Baith Donna and masel hiv hid the opportunity ae hivving a wee swatch ae Hamilton’s personal bank account transactions, up there in the Bishopbriggs branch ae The Clydeside Bank. The manager, Harold Macmillan, is a dear auld friend ae mine, so he is. He’s a bit ae a blow-hard, bit pliable. Keeps telling everywan that’ll listen that he’s the great grandson ae the famous prime minister, bit is he fuck. Anyway, according tae the bank records, regular monthly deposits, in the form ae cheques, hiv been routinely cleared over and above Hamilton’s salary. Noo, according tae whit me and Donna hiv seen and painstakingly photographed, Robert Hamilton, Deputy Finance Director fur Strathclyde polis, his deposited jist o’er seven hunner and twenty grand ae the polis’s money intae his personal account these past six years,” Harry announced, as everywan, apart fae him and Donna, jist aboot fell aff ae their chairs.

  “Bit…” Tony exclaimed, no sure if he’d heard right.

  “Of course, there could be mair, bit that’s the amount we know aboot,” Harry said, shrugging they padded shoulders ae his.

  “Across tae yersel, Arty. Arty here is gonnae furnish us as tae where aw that money came fae, aren’t ye, Arty?” Donna said smiling, looking at the bemused faces roond the table, taking a draw ae her fag and sounding as smug as a sleekit cat lying in front ae a hot coal fire.

  “Oh, er, well…”

  “Well, whit?” Donna snapped at him, her calm exterior suddenly cracking, as everywan looked at the chief inspector.

  “It’s, er, nu…nu…no as clear as Ah’d first expected, Du…Donna,” he admitted.

  “Whit isnae?” she shrieked in bewilderment, her world coming crashing doon aboot they diamond and pearl encrusted ears ae hers.

  “Ah’ve been through aw thi…thi…the force’s accounts fur the pa…pa…past five years. The…the…there disnae appear ti…ti…tae be anything amiss…at least, no that Ah kin find,” he confessed, the blood draining fae that face ae his, as everywan looked at him as if he wis jist aboot tae be marched tae the nearest mobile gallows.

  Silence.

  “Ur you bloody well hivving me oan, Arty Bruce, ya bloody glaikit basturt, ye?” Donna hissed at him across the table, as Tony and Pearl’s eyes connected, before each ae them smiled.

  “Ni…naw, Da…Da…Donna. Ah’ve been through the accounts five times, so Ah hiv.”

  “Hiv ye brought copies wae ye?”

  “The…the…these ur the originals.”

  “Harry, kin you hiv a quick swatch ae them?”

  “Ah’ve hi…hi…hid…an accountant pal ae ma…ma…mine go o’er them. He’s a real pa…pa…pro, so he is. There’s nothing oot ae the ordinary. We…we…we’ve cross checked the figures whi…whi…wae aw the relevant paperwork. Everything stauns up, so it dis,” he stuttered, wiping his brow wae a handkerchief, as Pearl lit up another fag and Harry checked oot his mascara wae a wee compact mirror he’d taken oot ae his tartan duffle bag.

  Silence.

  “Bit, surely that cannae be right. Me and Harry here saw the cheques oorsels…there wur fucking hundreds ae them, so there wis,” she cursed. “He even hid the bloody nerve tae sign them in his ain name. Is that no right, Harry?”

  “Aye, they wur aw there. Mind you, jist because it’s no highlighted in the figures disnae mean tae say he hisnae blagged the money,” Harry replied, looking o’er the tap ae the mirror, satisfied that his make-up wis still good, before slipping the wee compact back intae his duffle bag.

  “Mi…mi…meaning?” Mr Fraud Squad squawked, that Adams apple ae his daeing the Rumba.

  “Meaning, they accounts ye’re sitting wae ur cooked, darling.”

  “Oh, bi…bi…bit, Ah kin assure ye. Tha…tha…that’s everything,” The Chief Inspector coughed indignantly, haudin up whit looked like a big thick telephone directory.

  “And Ah’m telling you, sweetie, that that’s no aw the expenditure. Aw they cleared cheques wur either The City ae Glesga Polis or Strathclyde Polis wans. Signed by the man himsel. They wurnae fake either…like some people aboot here,” Harry sniffed, as Tony burst oot laughing this time, and the chief inspector glared across the table at The Hairdresser.

  “Whit aboot sludge funds?” Tony asked him.

  “Si…si…sludge funds?”

  “Aye. Hidden budgets that the high heid yins don’t want anywan tae see?”

  “Like whit?”

  “Ah don’t know. You’re supposed tae be the financial fraud expert aboot here,” Tony replied, as Harry cackled this time, that bouffant ae his swaying fae
side tae side like a big lump ae pink candy floss.

  Silence.

  Nowan said anything. Everywan wis gieing each other wee furtive glances, waiting fur Donna tae make the next move. Pearl whispered something tae Harry before he went back intae his duffle bag and withdrew the compact mirror and handed it tae her. It wis a good distraction. Everywan, other than Donna, sat watching her applying a wee mascara brush tae her eyelashes.

  “Shit!” Mr Fraud Squad yelped, as aw eyes suddenly traversed fae Pearl tae him. “Ah might ha…ha…hiv it,” he declared, shaking his heid in wonder, clearly no sure ae himsel, staring doon at the folder sitting in front ae him oan the desk.

  “Oan ye go, Arty, son. Take yer time noo. Here, hiv some ae this,” Donna said, suddenly jumping up and heidin across tae a solitary filing cabinet, withdrawing a wee hauf bottle ae brandy.

  Naebody said anything, as the sound ae the cork plonking oot ae the neck ae the bottle and Arty Bruce’s sharp intake ae breath bounced aff the walls, efter he glugged a fair skoof doon the back ae that gullet ae his.

  “This better be good or Ah’ll be efter a wee skoof masel. The suspense is killing me,” Tony drawled, as everywan nervously tittered this time.

  “Right, Arty, fire away, son. Take yer time noo.”

  “This might ba…ba…be a long shot. Ah da…da…don’t know, if any ae youse ur aware, bit since Tam Simpson goat…er…shi…shot, er…deid, up in Possil wae that social worker he wis pumping, back in seventy wan, there’s been a fair few Serious Crime Task Force Groups si…si…set up in the toon o’er the years,” he admitted, as Tony’s eyes narrowed at the mention ae wan ae the toon’s maist feared gangsters fae back in the day.

  “So?” Pearl asked oan behauf ae everywan.

  “There wa…wa…wid’ve been a lot ae work…manpower, running that kind a set-up….and budgets.”

  “Ah, noo we’re getting somewhere,” Tony said encouragingly, as Donna smiled, the penny drapping.