by L. M. Heidle
Of course, that was until What’s Your Fantasy started playing, which caused my mind to head straight to the gutter. Any red-blooded straight woman would be having the exact same thoughts if she saw what I was. Hell, I’m sure he could turn a lesbian straight with his body.
I don’t know how or why he did it, but he pulled his shirt over his head without missing a step. Actually, I had a pretty good idea why he did it, to torment me. I watched as a bead of sweat ran down his back. What I wouldn’t give for that to be my tongue. I’ve hit a new low… I’m jealous of a bead of sweat.
I had to get away before I did something I wasn’t sure I’d regret. Thankfully I saw the gym ahead. I slowed to a stop and turned toward it when he wrapped a hand around my elbow. He reached up, pulling out my left earbud.
“Where are you going?”
“The gym.” He lifted an eyebrow. Pretty sure he knew I was full of it.
“Alright, see you tomorrow.”
“Sounds good. Wait. What? Tomorrow?” I asked, confused.
“You’re running, right?”
“That’s the plan.”
“Okay, see you then.” I stood there with my mouth hanging open as he turned to run back the way we came. I hung out in the gym for a couple of minutes before heading home. The whole time wondering what the hell just happened.
I walked in the door just as Kass was getting off the phone. Without looking at me, she said, “Marcus can’t come this weekend. He’s got a dance at school.” When I didn’t answer, she turned to me. “What’s wrong?”
“Did you tell Trayton I run in the mornings?” Her smiled dropped giving her away. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I’m worried about you. You’re so closed off. I can’t be the only one you trust forever, and I think he’d be good for you.”
“That’s not your decision to make. I’m going to take a shower, then I’m going to lunch with my uncle.”
“Alex, listen.”
“No, Kass, you listen. You don’t get to make that choice for me. You of all people should know why I am the way I am. Stop meddling in my life!” I turned on my heel and headed for the shower.
My uncle stood when I approached the table, greeting me, “Hey, sweetie, how are you?”
I gave him a quick hug before sitting down. “I’m good. How about you?”
“You know you could never lie. What’s going on?” Not that lying was a goal of mine, but geesh, could I fool anyone?
“You don’t want to know.”
“Boy trouble then.”
“Sorta.” The waitress interrupted for our drink order. When she left, I continued, “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Do you think I’m closed off?” He rubbed a hand over his bald head, something he always did when he was uncomfortable.
“Alex, what you’ve been through is bound to make you a little closed off. What’s this about?”
“I just… Kass said something today, and it got me thinking. She said I don’t trust people.” I watched my uncle shift uncomfortably in the same cracked chair he always sat in when we came to Take Out. The waitress had dropped our drinks off and taken our order before he responded.
“As much as I hate to say it, she’s right, and that’s partially my fault. I should have sent you to a therapist.”
I grabbed his hand for comfort, for him or me, I wasn’t sure. “I wouldn’t go, you know that. Besides, I had you and Kass, that’s all I need.” I gave a humorless laugh, “And all I’ve got so it works out well.” I let his hand go and sat back.
He frowned. “You know that’s not true.”
“Do I?” I concentrated on arranging my silverware on the white Formica table. “Dad and Mom left, then Trip.”
“Is that how you really feel?”
I shrugged, briefly meeting his eyes before I started picking at my straw. “I know it’s stupid. Mom and Dad dying had nothing to do with them wanting to leave, but Trip. My own brother didn’t want to see me.”
“That’s not fair, Alexandria. Trip was going through a lot, and you know that. He didn’t want you to see him falling apart, and he was ashamed.”
I jerked my head up. “He was going through a lot? So was I!” I lowered my voice when I noticed the heads turned in our direction. “I needed him, and he wasn’t there.”
“He couldn’t be there then, but he wants to be there now.”
I shook my head. “Don’t.”
“Stop,” he said with authority. I was used to that tone when he talked to his ball players, but not directed at me. “I kept telling myself to give you time, but I’ve let this go on long enough. You need to stop avoiding it and go see him. Being lonely because you’re too scared to face the past isn’t what your parents would have wanted.”
“I don’t want to talk about this,” I stubbornly replied.
He ran a weathered hand down his face, so much like my dad. “Alex, just promise you’ll think about it.”
He was there for me when I hated the world and everyone in it, so I’d do what I could to lessen his guilt. “I will.”
“Good, now who’s this boy? And will I like him?”
“Will you like any boy?”
He chuckled, “No I won’t, so you should just become a nun.”
“Riiiight. His name is Trayton, and he annoys the hell out of me,” I said with a huge smile on my face.
ALEX
Kass was sitting on the couch watching reality TV when I entered the apartment. She muted the show as she turned tear-filled eyes to me. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
I sat down next to her, putting my arm around her shoulder. “It’s okay, Kass.”
“It’s not okay that I did that. I just hate seeing you this way.”
I flopped back on the couch. “Can we not do this right now?”
“No. I love you, and I hate seeing you this way. Life has dealt you a crap hand, but that doesn’t mean you have to close yourself off. You are such an amazing, strong person. You deserve a little happiness in your life, but you won’t let yourself have it.”
“I am.”
She shook her head from side to side, silently arguing. “No, you’re not. Who are you close to besides me?” I opened my mouth but closed it quickly. “Exactly, no one and you’re only close to me because I knew you before.”
Screw this! I didn’t have to listen to her. I started toward my room with her following. “You push everyone away so you won’t get hurt.” I tried to slam my door, but she blocked it with her foot. “It’s been four years, Alex! It’s time to live again. Do you think your parents would want this?”
I spun to face her speaking with anger behind my voice I didn’t realize I was capable of. “Don’t you dare bring them into this!”
“I just did.”
“And you’re a bitch for it.”
“Maybe, but I’m one who loves you, and I’m tired of seeing you lonely.” I closed my eyes trying to stop the tears, but it was a lost cause.
“I miss them so much,” I whispered.
She grabbed me in a tight hug. “I know you do, but it’s time to let yourself be happy.” She walked me to the bed and held me while I cried. I hadn’t cried this much since my brother went away. When the tears ceased, she said, “And Trayton makes you happy.”
“No, he annoys me.”
“He’s the first guy that’s ever gotten a reaction out of you.”
“Like I said: annoyance.”
“Stop hiding, Alex.”
“Doesn’t matter,” I shrugged, trying to hide how I really felt. “He doesn’t want to deal with my level of crazy.”
“Oh really? Then why would he have shown up this morning, after you made him run ten miles at a breakneck speed?”
I laughed out loud. “He told you about that?”
“I saw him after. I thought he was going to fall over from exhaustion.”
“I wish I would’ve seen that.”
“Good thing you have such an amazing friend.” She pulled out her phone handing it to me after she pulled up a picture.
I laughed until my side hurt. His hair was matted to his head, and his shirt stuck to his chest. The shirt wasn’t exactly a bad thing because it showed his amazing abs. His face was drawn tight like he was in pain. That I felt a little bad about, but overall it was pretty funny and a little irritating. I’d been a hot mess after that run, so bad I’d probably scared small children. Him, on the other hand… You could definitely tell he’d worked out, but he still looked like a model for athletic gear.
That night before bed I sent him the picture with a laughing emoji.
Trayton: Very funny. You about killed me.
Me: If you can’t run with the big dogs...
Trayton: You doing better?
I thought about it for a moment. I wasn’t great, but I was better.
Me: Yeah.
Trayton: Good. You owe me a date.
Me: I seem to remember you ruining the last one, so technically you owe me one.
Trayton: Okay. Saturday night.
Me: I walked right into that.
Trayton: Yep, so Saturday?
Technically that was girls’ night, but I’m pretty sure Kass would let it slide for this.
Me: Well, usually that’s girls’ night.
Trayton: Can I join? ;)
Me: Did you just wink?
Trayton: Too much?
Me: You’re a dork.
Trayton: I’m insulted. How about a double? Isn’t she seeing Mark something or other.
Me: How do you know that?
Trayton: Saw them together.
My roommate had some explaining to do. She hadn’t mentioned she’d been seeing Mark.
Me: If she’s cool with it.
Trayton: She is.
Me: Do I wanna know?
Trayton: We’re tight. Had to get some inside help to get you to talk to me.
Once again my roommate had some explaining to do.
Me: Well, since you two are best buds now just send her the details.
Trayton: Awe, is someone jealous?
Me: Not even slightly. Relieved more like it. She can put up with your annoying butt.
Trayton: Annoying huh? I’ll remember that.
Me: I’m sure you will.
Trayton: Oh crap I forgot. Saturday is the foam party. Go with me? Next weekend we’ll do a movie.
Me: If I have to.
Trayton: Yes, you do.
Me: Fine. Goodnight.
Trayton: Night, angel.
I had a huge smile on my face as I fell asleep that night.
The rest of the week went the same way. He ran with me every morning, and we texted on and off every day. I was trying to follow Kass’ advice and give life a chance, and so far, it was working. I’d felt lighter than I had in years, like a weight had been lifted. Trayton did that with every laugh he got from me. I finally felt like I was finding my way back to myself. My only hope was that it lasted, at least for awhile longer.
ALEX
The party was in full swing when we arrived. My mouth dropped when I saw the backyard. “Holy crap!” I’d never been to a foam party before, but I was definitely not expecting this. The backyard was covered in foam, like it didn’t even resemble a backyard covered. It was more like a really big bubble bath. There were strobe lights making the foam look pink, blue, green, and yellow. The pool had a layer or two of foam as well. This place was insane. They even had a huge inflatable slide.
As we weaved our way through the backyard, I paused when I saw a small pool filled with, what the hell? Is that jello? Yup, the pool was filled with red jello. One guess as to what that was for. That’s right, jello wrestling, because everyone knows it’s a must for a foam party. Insert eye roll, please.
I turned to Kass as she was assessing the madness laid out before us. “This is crazy.”
She had a huge smile on her face. “No, my friend, this is amazing! You’ve got to go down the slide with me.”
“Ah, duh. Not even an option to skip it. Let’s find the guys first.”
“Ready to get killed already, huh?”
My smile was huge as I looked around for Trayton. I’d spent all day shopping—
willingly—with Kass to find the perfect bikini. I’d finally settled on a black one with teal lines throughout. It was similar to a push-up bra on top, only with a slightly sexy twist. Wide straps continued past my chest to tie in the back, leaving the look of triangle cut-outs. The bottoms tied at my hip bones. It really wasn’t that risky compared to a lot of them, but the second I saw it, I knew it’d drive Trayton crazy. Hopefully in a good way. “What are you talking about? He’s going to love it.”
She glanced over my shoulder before stifling a laugh. “You’re about to find out how much he loves it in five, four, three, two, see ya.”
He didn’t even miss a beat as he put his arm around my shoulders, tucking me into his side. A place I loved to be. The way his muscles felt as he moved was completely mesmerizing, and don’t get me started on the way he smelled.
It was interesting to watch people scatter out of his way. He never had to slow his step or say anything, they just moved. It could be the nasty scowl he was wearing or the threatening vibe he was sending out. Who am I kidding? It was both, definitely both.
He didn’t speak to me until we got into his room and he’d shut the door. He turned on me as soon as the door clicked, pushing me up against the door devouring my mouth. My hands instantly went to his hair as his landed on my waist, holding me tightly to him. I spent the next few seconds having my existence rocked, and when he pulled back, I quietly whimpered.
When I realized he wasn’t coming back for more, I slowly opened my eyes to see a set of piercing blue eyes glaring at me. No, glare wasn’t right. What’s a good word when someone is beyond angry? Furious? Livid? Yep, those work.
“What in the ever loving hell are you wearing?”
I smiled innocently at him. “Shorts and a bikini.”
He let his eyes roam before settling on mine again, and he couldn’t hide the desire. “That’s not a bikini, it’s dental floss.”
I busted out laughing. “Dental floss, really?”
“Well, there’s no way in hell you can claim that’s a bikini.”
I stepped on my tip-toes, grabbing his biceps for support. I leaned in whispering, “I wore it for you.” When I felt a shiver pass through his body, I did a little happy dance in my brain.
He stepped back so fast I almost fell. He grabbed a t-shirt from the bed and threw it in my face. “Put that on,” he growled.
“Excuse me?”
“Put the shirt on! Now!” he yelled.
I expected him to be turned on, maybe a little irritated, but in no way did I expect this. “First, don’t talk to me that way. Second, we’ve been here before. Don’t tell me what I can and can’t wear.”
“Alex, you can’t walk around like that.”
“And why is that?”
“Because if you do I’ll end up in jail by the end of the night, and there will be several broken jaws.”
I would have laughed but the seriousness his face showed and his crossed arms told me he wasn’t joking, at all. I stepped closer, resting my hand on his arm. “Tray, chill. I bought it for you.”
“That’s right for me, not all these other morons.” He took the t-shirt from me and put it over my head, pulling my arms through. “There, much better. Ready to go?” He smiled like he’d just solved world hunger. I, on the other hand, stood there in indecision. I should be outraged by his blatant behavior, and I should be giving him hell. I really wanted to, but I loved wearing his shirt and the alpha speech too much. I’m sure feminists everywhere were yelling at me, but they apparently hadn’t met Trayton.
“Happy, little boy?”
“Very.” He rubbed his hands together before taking my hand. “Now let’s hit the slide.”
I followed as he gen
tly led me outside, a complete opposite from on the way in. “How exactly am I supposed to go down the slide wearing a t-shirt and shorts?”
His face was priceless as he looked at me like I’d just asked a ridiculous question. “Most people slide on their butts.”
“Yes, and most girls do it in only a bikini.”
Once again he acted like my question was asinine. “Most, but not all. You’ll be in that not all category.” Instead of arguing I laughed.
Kass joined us at the end of the insanely long line, smirking. “Loved the bikini I see?” I shrugged.
“I did. I just didn’t want others to love it too,” Trayton stated, obviously. I shook my head at his territorial actions.
The rest of the night was a complete blast. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had that much fun. And as Trayton pointed out several times, I did it completely clothed. He asked me to stay the night, but I didn’t trust myself and knew I wasn’t ready, so I went home instead. The frown he gave me was the most adorable thing I’d ever seen. I could almost picture him as a child pouting because he wanted another cookie.
TRAYTON
When my phone dinged, I’d assumed it would be Alex since I sent her a good morning text when I woke up. She had nearly killed me last night when I saw her in that bikini. Probably every dirty thought imaginable had run through my head, which meant most likely it’d ran through any male with a pulse’s head, too. Putting her in my t-shirt may have kept others from seeing, but it only made me want her more. I forgot how good she looked in my shirt. Who knew seeing her in my shirt would possibly be the hottest I’d seen her yet?
My phone gave a reminder ding. I shook thoughts of Alex out of my head when I saw it wasn’t her but Eddie texting.
Eddie: It’s done.
Me: I’ll let you know when I’m done.
Eddie: K.
I got a protein drink before I picked up my phone to make the dreaded call. I hit call, and unfortunately, it rang right through.
“Sing Sing Corrections Facility.”
“I need to speak to prisoner # N6754698. Vince Russo.”
