Practically Married

by Karin Beery

  “And in the meantime?” Rob asked.

  Ashley shrugged. “I guess Russ can stay at the house.”

  “What?” Russ’ blood surged until he remembered the truth. “I almost forgot that I’m the homeless one, not her.”

  “No,” Ashley said. “You’re not homeless. There are four rooms in that house. I promise the rent will be reasonable.”

  Rob’s laughter bounced through the office, knocking down the tension. The corner of Ashley’s eye creased as her twitching lips struggled to hide her smile.

  Russ let his frustration go as he leaned toward Ashley. “So witty before noon. You must be captivating after lunch.”

  “I think you’re probably confusing sleep deprivation with wit. Whatever it is, I want you to know”—she covered his hand with hers—“I would never do anything to hurt you or your family. I wanted to be a part of it, not ruin it.”

  Rob said something, but Russ didn’t pay attention. Ashley’s words burned through his ears while her smile seared itself into his brain. From the moment he’d met her at the café, her compassion had shown in her face and through her actions. Despite everything she’d lost, she assured him. Comforted him. Her kindness wrapped itself around Russ like a down jacket.

  Now he understood why Tom wanted Ashley in northern Michigan, but it was up to Russ to keep her there. For the family, of course.

  CHAPTER 12

  Ashley tugged at the hem of her skirt. The flowered purple material usually lightened her mood, but it didn’t seem appropriate for the occasion. Of course, she hadn’t planned for a funeral. Much like her senior year of high school when she swapped graduation parties for her parents’ funeral. A shiver raced down her spine. Ashley hadn’t attended many funerals since then. What would Tom’s be like?

  Her fiancé’s funeral. The thought of it should make her cry, but it still didn’t seem real. When her parents died, Ashley hadn’t been able to stop the tears. Today, she wasn’t sure what to feel. Could she lose what she never really had?

  Someone knocked on the door. “Are you ready?”

  Kathleen’s warm voice calmed her nerves. Almost everything about the gentle woman calmed her. Ashley opened the door, smiling at her hostess. “I wish I had something better to wear. This seems too festive.”

  “Honey, you’re lovely. No one will notice.” Kathleen wore a yellow-and-green plaid jumper, a sunshine-yellow blouse, and Barbie-pink ballet flats. Ashley’s clothes suddenly seemed tame. “This is a memorial service, not a funeral. We’ll miss Tom, but he’s with God now. Today we’re going to celebrate his life, not mourn his death.”

  “I like that idea.”

  “Me too. Come on now. Russ left early to make a few stops, so it’s just us. He’ll meet us at the church.”

  After she plucked her coat off the bed, they were down the stairs and out of the house in no time. In less than an hour, Ashley would be surrounded by Tom’s family and friends.

  As anxiety ate at her insides, she barely noticed the drive into town. They arrived twenty minutes early, but a dozen cars already littered the parking lot. Despite the cold, kids ran around in the side yard of the one-story church as a few adults stood talking nearby. A white wooden cross hung above the front door of the L-shaped building. Like all of the other landscaping she’d seen since her arrival, the trees around the church stood bare. Naked shrubs lined the red, brick wall, except in open spots where Ashley assumed flowers grew in the summer.

  Everyone waved at or hugged Kathleen as she and Ashley crossed the parking lot. Ashley smiled and nodded—she even accepted a few hugs—but no one struck up a conversation with Kathleen’s surprise friend. Just as well. Ashley was still figuring out what to say when she met Tom’s parents and sisters.

  Inside the church, more people scurried around. Ashley followed Kathleen up four carpeted steps to a wide foyer. Flowers covered the tables and benches that lined both sides of the space, hiding bulletin boards and flyers behind a rainbow of petals. Unlike the school-sized contemporary church where she’d held her parents’ funeral, the brown industrial carpet and white iron handrails of this church reminded her of Rose and John’s midcentury house in Ohio.

  A petite woman with long, gray hair and a sleek, navy pantsuit walked straight to Kathleen, who embraced the shorter woman. “You look lovely, Rita. The service will be wonderful.”

  Rita—Tom’s mom. Ashley offered her hand. “Mrs. Russell, I’m Ashley Johnson.”

  “It’s nice to meet you.” Rita’s warm hands enveloped hers.

  Kathleen wrapped an arm around Ashley. “She’s a friend of Tom’s. She arrived this week and is staying with Russ and me. Excuse me for a moment, will you? Elizabeth’s flagging me down.” She walked away while Ashley admired Tom’s mother. Despite the loss, Rita appeared fresh and lively even with her red-rimmed eyes.

  Ashley gave Rita’s hand an extra squeeze before letting go. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  “I think we’re all set.” She stepped back, a faint smile on her lips. “How did you know Tommy?”

  Ashley’s chest tightened. “He didn’t mention me?”

  “I don’t think so, but I’ve been forgetting a lot of things this week.”

  Like her future daughter-in-law? Not likely. “We were … friends.” The deception clogged her throat before forcing its way out through her stupid tear ducts. “Excuse me. I’m going to step outside for a moment.”

  Another couple greeted the grieving mother as Ashley walked into the crisp wind. It bit at her face as she replayed Rita’s reaction. The woman had never heard of her!

  Frustration welled up in Ashley’s chest. Tom had promised her a family. How could she join a family who didn’t know she existed? How could she make a home with strangers? She could handle the loneliness of his absence—she understood how to deal with that—but not the betrayal. Why hadn’t he told anyone? She’d expected a warm welcome to Boyne Heights, not the cold hand of polite indifference.

  Cars continued pulling into the parking lot, swerving around her. No one waved. No one cared about the stranger wandering between cars. They would embrace and comfort her if they knew who she was, but Ashley was too angry to say anything. She wouldn’t add humiliation to the list of Tom-induced emotions.

  None of it made sense. Tom had initiated the relationship. He proposed. He invited her to move north, all the while keeping his family in the dark. What was he thinking?

  “Aren’t you going the wrong way?” Great. Now someone cared. Pretending not to hear him, she kept moving. “Ashley?”

  The sound of her name stopped her feet. “Russ?” He stepped out from behind his truck, his muscular frame easily recognizable, even with blurry vision. She blinked away the tears as he strode toward her. Sharp, clean slacks, a starched white shirt, and a jacket covered one of the broadest bodies she’d ever seen. Probably not the best time to notice that. At least it distracted her from her frustration.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  “I’m fine.”

  Russ pulled a tissue from his pocket and handed it to her. “Where are you going?”

  Ashley inspected the edges of the tissue. “The park. We passed one on the way here.”

  “Shouldn’t you be going inside?”

  The tears had dried, so she stuffed the tissue in her coat pocket. “Thank you, but I need some air.” She resumed her playground hunt. No one would miss her. They weren’t expecting her.

  She hadn’t traveled this far into self-pity in a while. It wasn’t someplace she liked to visit, but finding out she was Tom’s dirty little secret cut into her determination.

  She crossed the street and spotted the top of the slide behind a line of trees. As she made her way around the natural barrier, she found an empty swing. A few minutes to clear her mind, and she’d be ready to face the Russells. The chains creaked as she pushed herself back and forth watching the woodchips move beneath her feet.

  Something crunched. Ashley froze. More crunching. Foots
teps? As she glanced over her shoulder, Russ pulled up a swing.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked.

  “Swinging.” He kept his eyes forward, rocking backward and forward. Heel to toe.

  “You’re going to miss the memorial.”

  “So will you.”

  “Yeah, but no one will notice.” She started swinging again, the chain complaining. Russ’ swing added a groaning harmony. What a sad duet. “How long are you planning to stay here?”

  “As long as you, I suppose.”

  “Why?” Ashley twisted to face him.

  “I think you should be at your fiancé’s memorial, don’t you? I can wait until you’re ready.”

  “What if I’m never ready? No one knows who I am, not even Tom’s mom. They won’t care if I’m not there, and I don’t feel like lying to them about why I’m here.”

  “My mom will care.”

  “Maybe, but she doesn’t know who I am either.” Ashley pulled the gold chain out from beneath the cover of her dress, the warm metal tickling her skin. Her engagement ring dangled securely from it. “They’d recognize this ring before they’d recognize me.”

  “Probably.”

  Not very comforting.

  “Don’t you at least want to meet the rest of the family?”

  Her heart softened. “Tom talked about you and your sisters more than he did his own sisters. The first time I emailed him was because I read an article online about your family farm. He replied and told me about a winter vacation you took to Maine. His family, yours, your grandparents—all of you together for Christmas and New Year’s. It sounded wonderful.”

  Russ chuckled. “It was chaos.”

  Ashley smiled. “You’re trying to make it sound bad, but I wanted to see what having a big family was like. My mom had five older siblings, but I’m an only child. I loved the idea of becoming part of someone’s family. That’s why I came up here.”

  “I thought you came up here to get married.”

  “I did, but your family is why we agreed to get married.”

  Russ’ swing stopped. “What are you talking about?”

  How much should she tell him? He knew about the arrangement. Would it matter if she told him how they came to it?

  “Ashley?”

  “You have to promise not to think badly of Tom.”

  “I don’t think I could.”

  “I mean it. I won’t defend him because he doesn’t need it. We made an informed, adult decision.”

  “I believe you.”

  But would he respect her? The handsome stranger in the swing watched her, his arms crossed, her own personal priest waiting for her to confess. With a deep breath, she sacrificed her pride.

  “Yes, Tom and I both wanted to get married, but more than anything I wanted a family. I may not have loved him like I should have, but I fell in love with the idea of the Russells. After those first two emails, we stayed in touch. We kept emailing, then chatting.” Ashley’s thoughts drifted back to their first phone call, to the hours spent comparing their lives and interests. “Tom was easy to talk to. We talked every day, and one day we were discussing our futures. He wanted a wife. I didn’t want to be alone anymore.”

  “So, you found a big family to marry into.”

  “No. I found a wonderful man who was willing to share his life and family with me. He just wasn’t willing to talk about it.” Ashley slouched against the chain, rocking on her heels. Russ swayed beside her as the church bells chimed. The service would start soon, but Ashley kept rocking.

  Russ jumped up, moving in front of her and grabbing her swing’s chains above her head. “Listen, I’m sorry Tom wasn’t honest with us, but he had his reasons for giving you that ring. He wanted you to be part of our family. I’d like you to meet the rest of them.”

  “And I want to meet them, but what am I supposed to say?” The air thickened in her lungs. “I’m the weird stranger who showed up out of the blue. Now I’m stuck outside thinking I’d like to punch the man whose life we’re supposed to be celebrating, but I’m angry and hurt and confused, and what am I supposed to do now?”

  Russ blinked.

  Deep breaths. One. Two. Three. Four—

  “Are you done?”

  “Give me six more seconds!” She shouldn’t yell at Russ. The situation wasn’t his fault, though he wasn’t offering much help. “You know, you’re not very comforting.”

  “I’m not trying to be comforting. I’m trying to get you into the church. It’s cold.”

  Maybe she should go in for a while. Her fingers were getting stiff, and regardless if Tom’s family knew her, Ashley had been counting the days until she could meet them. “You and your mom have been really nice. I would like to meet your sisters, but—”

  “Listen, Tom’s strategy stinks, I get it, but he gave you Grandma’s ring. You were important to him, so that makes you important to us.”

  And she wanted to meet them, desperately. “If I go, will you … I mean, can we—”

  “We don’t have to explain anything to anyone. Besides, I doubt anyone will believe Tom was engaged if they don’t see the ring.”

  “Not comforting.”

  “Forget comforting. You were important to him. That’s all anyone cares about.” Russ held out his hand. “Come inside. Meet the family. We’ll figure out your next move later. Then we can get back to being mad at Tom.”

  “We?”

  “He kept you a secret. He made me homeless. You’re not the only one struggling right now, but today we’re going to focus on the good stuff.”

  Ashley studied her brooding almost cousin-in-law. “He had his good moments.” She slid her hand into his.

  “I know. Come inside and we’ll tell you stories.”

  CHAPTER 13

  Children squealed. Adults laughed. Silverware and china clinked in the spacious hall, echoing off the cathedral ceilings. Sunlight streamed in through the wall of windows behind her as people mingled about. Two dozen round tables filled the center of the room, while long banquet tables held food along the opposite wall. At the far end of the room, men and women disappeared and reappeared through a swinging door that obviously led to the kitchen as every empty bowl they carried in came back out full of food. Ashley couldn’t stop smiling from her seat at an empty table. Everywhere she looked, people in colorful outfits feasted and celebrated Thomas Russell.

  A cold, wet hand landed on her arm. She jumped. The hand belonged to a little boy with curly white-blond hair and sky-blue eyes, red-rimmed and filled with tears. Her heart melted. “Hello. What’s your name?”

  “Mommy?” His bottom lip wobbled.

  “Oh, sweetie, I’m not sure who your mommy is, but I’ll bet Russ knows.”

  The lip stopped moving, and his eyes widened. “Wuss?”

  “We can go find him together if you want.”

  “Find who?” A voice rumbled behind her.

  The little boy ran around Ashley, his arms raised. “Wuuuuss!”

  Russ picked up the kid, juggling him and a plate of food before dropping a kiss on his head. “Hey, bud, where’s your mom?”

  “Don’t know.”

  “She can’t be far.” Russ gently shifted the child in his arms and sat next to her. “Phin, this is my friend Ashley.”

  “She not Mommy.”

  “I know. Ashley, this is my nephew, Phin. His mom is probably in the kitchen.” Russ picked up a carrot and handed it to the boy. “Where’s your dad, buddy?”

  Phin pointed left then right as he gnawed on his treat. He cozied against Russ, who smiled—casual, friendly, and gorgeous. Ashley’s insides melted at the mismatched pair.

  “Oh good, you found him.” A tall, broad man stepped up to the table, ruffling Phin’s hair. “I figured he’d find his way to you or Rachel.” The stranger turned to Ashley. “I’m Chad.”

  She accepted his extended hand. “Ashley.”

  “It’s nice to meet you. Thanks for coming to the memorial.”
/>   “I’m glad I could make it.”

  “Chad married my sister Rachel,” Russ said. “He also works with me on the farm.”

  Chad pulled out a chair and sat down. “How do you two know each other?”

  Ashley shot a look at Russ, but his eyes were on Phin. She offered Chad a polite smile. “I’m a friend of Tom’s. That’s how I met Russ.”

  “I’m sorry about the circumstances, but it’s nice to meet you.”

  A trim brunette set a plate of food in front of Chad before slipping an arm around his shoulders. She looked right at Ashley, her brown eyes intense. “I’m Rachel. Wife. Mom. Sister.”

  “I’m Ashley.” Secret fiancée of the deceased.

  Before self-pity could get ahold of her, an older, red-headed boy ran over, his shirt untucked and a clip-on tie in his hand. “Uncle Russ, can we go to the gym?”

  Two more blond boys followed, as did a lanky teenage boy who maneuvered the room without looking up from his cell phone, thumbs flying across the screen. “I’ll take ’em. Grandma unlocked it.”

  “Thank you.” Rachel grabbed his face and smooshed a kiss to his cheek.

  “Aunt Rachel!” He still didn’t look up. “Jeff, fill a plate with cookies for everyone. Let’s go.” One boy ran for the dessert table as the rest ran after the teen. Phin shimmied off Russ’ lap and plowed into the older boy, who—eyes on his phone—dropped a hand down and grabbed Phin’s hand.

  Chaos. Laughter. Family. Longing clutched Ashley’s chest. As the family interacted around her, she spotted a thinner, feminine version of Russ. The young woman’s eyebrows shot up when she locked eyes with Ashley, and she walked toward her. “Russ didn’t tell us he was bringing a date to the memorial,” the woman said.

  Heat seared Ashley’s cheeks. “I’m not his date.”

  “Carrie.” Russ’ tone held an unmistakable threat. “Ashley, this is my sister. Carrie, this is Ashley.”

  His sister’s eyes narrowed. “You came in late together, sat together. I assumed—”

  “You assumed wrong,” he said. “What’s with you?”