“You didn’t enjoy the show?” His face dropped and he looked genuinely hurt. I knew he had no idea why I was acting like such a bitch, but I didn’t particularly want to stop and explain myself. He was just doing his job and I was being unreasonable expecting him to understand why I was hurt, but I was too foggy with jealousy and rage to work out how to put that into words for him.
“I guess I’d just seen it all before,” I replied.
He pressed his lips together, clearly keeping in a comment at my attitude. Then he exhaled and held his hand out to me. “Come on. Let’s get home. I need to talk to you about something.”
“Okay,” I agreed, taking his hand. Despite it all, I did feel safe with his fingers locked with mine. There was something about his presence that made my body instinctively relax, even if I knew that the memory of what he had done with that woman was going to stay burned on my brain for a long time to come.
We caught a cab home, and he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the seat on the drive back. He was exhausted and confused by my mood. I felt even more like a bitch. I watched him surreptitiously, as though he might blink out of existence at any moment. None of this felt real. It was really hard for me to believe that someone like him, with the options that he had and the life that he led, would be even remotely interested in someone like me. But the fact was, my insecurity was starting to spill over and hurt the two of us as a couple, and I didn’t like that one bit.
He opened his eyes, paid the driver, and gallantly helped me out of the car since it was clear that I was struggling to make a gracious exit in my killer heels. It was hard to remember that just a few hours earlier, the two of us had been having a frantic, hot-as-hell hook-up in his dressing room, unable to resist each other for a moment longer. That felt so far away now that I could hardly remember it.
“What was it you wanted to talk about?” I asked once he had collapsed on the couch. He ran a hand through his hair and yawned.
“My stage manager was talking to me during the intermission. He told me that there’s a show across the state. They just had someone drop out, and they need someone else to step in for tomorrow night.”
“And they want you guys?” I asked, resignedly.
He nodded.
I dropped my eyes. “And you said yes?”
“I haven’t said yes yet, but it’s a big gig for us all. Big stadium, new city, I’d be able to cancel my shows for the rest of the month cash-wise if I went…”
“You don’t have to justify it to me,” I shrugged. “It’s your job. Go and do what you want.”
He frowned. “Did I do something to piss you off?”
I looked up at him. What could I tell him? That the job he had chosen, the one that he was so clearly and obviously good at, the one that he had the day we met, was getting under my skin? No, that wasn’t fair. He deserved to be able to do whatever he wanted, and not to have some woman he barely knew come swinging into his life and telling him to do things differently.
“No.” I shook my head, and something cleared in his face.
“Do you want to come with me?” He asked, taking my hand. “It’s just for a night, but it could be fun. We could—”
“No,” I cut him out. I didn’t want to see any more of his shows. It was bad for me, for us. I might have taken a step away from Eleanor and all her bad shit, but that didn’t mean that the impression she’d left had faded yet. I was still too insecure to handle seeing gorgeous women grinding up on him on a nightly basis. Maybe I would even get the nerve to tell him one day, but for now, I just wanted him to see me as the carefree, fun girl who could drop everything and move across the world with him at a moment’s notice. Who wouldn’t want to be that woman, after all?
He stared at me with surprise.
I forced a smile. “I’m going to stay back here and get started on my photography.
“Oh, okay.” He licked his lip. “Are you sure?”
“Certain,” I confirmed, and got to my feet. “Here, let’s go to bed. I’m tired and I’m guessing the jetlag is catching up on you.”
“Sure,” he agreed, and followed me into the bedroom. I headed to the bathroom as he got undressed, and looked at myself in the mirror. I needed to get my shit together, because the way I was acting now just wasn’t going to cut it. I had a gorgeous guy, who had made it clear every chance he got that he was crazy into me, and I needed to start believing it.
Chapter 25
Chad
The show was in a couple of hours, but I wanted to talk to Madison first. Ever since I kissed her goodbye while she was still sleepy and warm in bed, I felt as though there was some part of me missing, some part of me I left behind in Miami.
I drummed my fingers on the table in front of me and waited for my laptop to boot up. It was already getting to my nerves, this long-distance thing. Maybe if she hadn’t been so off with me last night, I wouldn’t feel like smashing something. I made the wrong decision to come here. As if I needed the money. It was just hurt pride. We were getting on so well until…for no reason at all, she became cold and distant.
When chicks have played that game with me in the past they were out of my life so fast they left a cloud of dust. But with Madison, I can’t even imagine asking her to walk. I realized now that I should have stayed and worked out whatever it was that was bothering Madison. I was new at this relationship thing, but I learned fast. I would never make that mistake again.
When my laptop sprang to life I pulled up the video calling app I downloaded at the airport and called her. She was kind of brisk in her text messages. I didn’t know her well enough to tell if that was just how she was in texts, or if she was still pissed at me. I couldn’t figure why she would have been though. Nothing happened. She came to the show last night, and everything had seemed fine, actually more than fine, to me until after the show. Maybe she was embarrassed about me dancing, the same way my parents were.
Fortunately, before I could short-circuit my brain by overthinking the issue, she answered my call and sprang up on the screen in front of me. As soon I clapped eyes on her my chest swelled with happiness. She wearing one of my old T-shirts and I got a glimpse of her bare thigh. She looked homey and comfortable and also really, really fuckable.
“Hey,” she greeted me, a little shyly.
“Hey,” I replied. “You look super sexy.”
“Oh, come on.” She looked down at her clothes. “I just stole this because it smells of you.”
This was more like the Madison I knew. I grinned. “It suits you, you should keep it.” I changed my voice to one of mock severity. “Though you’re not allowed to wear pants with it, understand?” I said with mock severity.
“Yes, sir.” She saluted me and giggled. “Hang on let me get comfortable.” I watched her cross her fantastic legs, and arrange her phone so that she could sit comfortably and talk to me.
“So what have you been up to today?” I asked, leaning back on the bed and pulling the laptop up onto my stomach.
“I’ve just been tinkering around with the photography stuff you got me.” She smiled. “It’s been really fun.”
“You know, I never asked you what kind of stuff you want to take pictures of,” I said. “What have you been shooting?”
“Uh, well, I thought I would start with fruit and vegetables. That way I can play with lighting and practice filters.”
“Did you take some photos?”
“Mmm.”
“Want to show me?”
She reached for something off-camera, and came back into the camera’s view holding a stack of prints. “I took these…”
She held them up to the camera one-by-one. I looked at them all carefully, giving them my full attention. I wanted her to know that whatever was important to her was important to me, too. I was surprised by how good they were. Not that I thought they would be bad, but if she was just starting out, I didn’t expect this amount of deftness and skill. I had worked with a few photographers in my day,
taking promo shots and the like, and the way that she had used the light to bring out the details on the various pieces of fruit and vegetables was actually very artistic and delicate.
“They’re really good,” I said enthusiastically when she put the pictures away. And they were – but now that I had seen them, I had something in my head, something else entirely. She must have seen the glint in my eye, because she raised her eyebrows expectantly.
“What is it?” she asked, a little breathless already. Being apart from her was hard, physically, because all I wanted to do was walk through the screen, scoop her up, toss her down on to the bed and fuck her right then and there.
“There was a cucumber in one of those pictures, right?” I asked.
She nodded slowly, her tongue flicking out over her bottom lip.
Damn, I practically groaned at the frustration of not having her right there in front of me to do what I wanted with. “You still got it?”
“Yeah,” she said slowly, glancing off-camera. “Why?”
“Did you wash it?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. Go get it,” I ordered.
She shot me a funny look before getting to her feet and doing as she was told. She returned with the cucumber, a good seven inches long and thick, and sat back down in front of the camera again. I could see in her face that she had already figuring out where I was going with this.
“So,” she raised her eyebrows expectantly, a flicker of a wicked smile passing over her face. “What do you want me to do with … this?”
“Lie back and position the camera so I can see all of you,” I demanded.
She did as she was told, shifting the camera so I could see her from her toes to half-way up her neck. I could have asked her to adjust the camera and get her face into focus too, but somehow the pretense of anonymity made it even more delicious.
My mouth began to water as my gaze ran down her curves. I was desperate to run my hands over the thickness of her thighs, her ass, but I would have to make do with memory for now. I reached down to massage my erection through my pants. I need to find a little relief after all this time.
“And?” she prompted innocently, still holding the cucumber. I knew that she knew what I wanted, but she was making me say it, and that was somehow the hottest thing in the world.
“Take off your panties and spread your legs.”
She obeyed at once, sliding her thumbs beneath the silk of her underwear and slipping them off her legs. Even the shape of her pussy, it was almost too much to handle. I slipped my hand inside my pants and began to stroke myself.
“Spread open,” I ordered.
She bent her knees and let them fall sideways to the floor. I could see her bush, that fluff of hair that led down to her pussy, and the glistening pink flesh between. It looked so sweet, it was all I could do not to reach out and touch the screen, as if I could feel her through it. I was overtaken by the desire to see what happened next.
“Like this?” she asked, and I could hear the tremble of insecurity in her voice even though I couldn’t see it in her eyes. There was something between us I had never felt before, that I had never felt with anyone, definitely not with any of those girls I got up on stage with.
“Use the cucumber on yourself,” I ordered, and I could see her stiffen with nerves when the words actually came out of my mouth. She had obviously never done anything like this before. Slowly, she lifted it and guided it towards her slit. My breath was coming harder as I stroked my cock with more purpose. I could almost feel her pussy around my cock as she pressed the tip of the cucumber against her pussy. I watched it slip inch by inch inside of her with almost painful slowness. Her body tensed up as she pushed it into herself, as if she was not yet used to the feel of it inside her, but soon she began to relax, and I heard the softest little moan. I imagined her mouth parting, her lips pushing forward almost in a pout, and another strong surge of desire rushed through me and I had to grit my teeth to stop myself from coming.
I never took my eyes off her once as she pushed the dark green vegetable inside her, grinding back against it, lifting and writhing her hips. When her other hand reached over to adjust the camera, my mouth fell open. My whole screen was just her pussy stretched with a cucumber.
She must have been watching to see my reactions, as it seemed to embolden her. Her hand appeared and started to stroking and playing with her clit in time with her thrusts. And after that she matched my reaction with one of her own. Every time I let out a little growl of pleasure at the show she was putting on, she would double down, thrusting deeper, harder, or faster.
She made a little sound like a meow, and I knew she was close to coming. Even though we only just hooked up, I knew from the way her body tensed, or the noises she made when she was getting ready to climax. I could even have described the exact look in her eyes at that moment.
“Ah!” she cried as she found her release.
I could imagine her head tilting back as she came suddenly, her legs twitching and trembling. The cucumber was still thrust halfway inside of her, and her pretty little cunt was gushing. The sight of it was enough to get me off. I came on the expensive hotel sheets.
We both stayed still for a moment or two, coming back down to earth, catching our respective breath. She slid the cucumber out of her, ducked her head back into frame, and slumped back against the sofa behind her.
“I’ve never done anything like that before,” she confessed, her eyes still dark and heavy-lidded, but kind of awed, as if she couldn’t believe she’d just done something that filthy.
“Me neither,” I replied. “I guess you just bring it out in me.”
“I should get rid of this, I suppose,” she laughed, pointing off-camera to what I assumed was the cucumber.
“Absolutely. The next thing going into your pussy is my cock.”
She blushed.
‘“Madison?”
“What?”
“I want you to know you looked amazing. I won’t be able to sleep tonight thinking of you with your cucumber.”
“Thanks, I think,” she murmured, her eyes shining. She checked the time and frowned. “Uh, so, what time is it there? Have you performed yet?”
I shook my head and looked at the clock above the television. “No, but it’s probably time for me to go and get ready,” I admitted reluctantly. “I’ll see you tomorrow though, right? I’ll be back as early as I can. I’ll text you when I’m nearly there.”
“Good luck with the show tonight,” she replied, and I could see her jaw had clenched slightly, her lips pressed together when she finished speaking, as though there was something she was trying to hide.
“Are you sure everything’s—”
“Everything’s fine,” she cut me off. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Good luck with the show tonight.”
“Alright, goodnight. I—”
Before I could exchange some of those sweet nothings that girls normally crave to hear, she had clicked off the call. I stared at the screen for a moment. Maybe she had hung up by accident. She was never normally that abrupt in person. I waited for her to reconnect, but nothing came through. It was clear that was her goodbye. It was also clear something was wrong.
I lay there for a good ten minutes thinking about our situation before I reluctantly climbed out of bed and started getting ready for the show. I had to put on a good performance, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to let down the crowd out there tonight, but tomorrow I was getting to the bottom of Madison’s problem.
Chapter 26
Madison
My hands were shaking as I hung up. I felt like a complete and utter bitch. I felt as if I was ruining everything and I hated myself for doing it, but I couldn’t control my emotions.
I had never been so sharp with anyone in my life, not even Eleanor who had dropped me in the shit from a very high place. I pressed my palms on my heated face. To think he had reached out and called me and let me know that he was thinking of me. Why? Why was I re
acting in this completely irrational way? Why couldn’t I be more cool about it all? It was just his job. What did I expect? Him to leave his work for me when we just met a few days ago?
Then I thought of him going to his show and an image of Eleanor’s lookalike rubbing herself against him last night popped into my mind. She had kissed him, for goodness sake, and he had taken more than a split-second to push her off.
I remembered how I had felt when he picked me out from the crowd. As if it was the confirmation that he too had felt the buzzing electricity between us. Maybe all the women he pulled up on stage felt that way too. My stomach twisted into a knot.
Maybe he always zeroed in on women like me, a little down on her luck and romantically insecure. He pulled us from the crowd, danced on us, and made us feel like princesses for the first time in our lives.
And if the woman responded in a way that was encouraging like I had, would he go find her at the bar afterwards? Would he take her back to his hotel room like he did with me? Jesus, he could be doing God knows what with God knows who right now.
I jumped to my feet. I was going to be stuck here all evening by myself driving myself crazy. I had to stop torturing myself like this and get a hold of my thought pattern, or I was going to find myself on a plane back to my little flat in London. What a laugh Eleanor would have then.
I poured myself a drink from the cabinet in the kitchen, a vodka-soda. Something light. If I was going to keep his attention with all those girls throwing themselves at him, then I was going to need to lose weight, and that meant less wine and beer and more in the way of these boring, low-calorie drinks.
No.
I slammed the drink on the bar counter so hard, liquid slopped out and flowed onto the shiny granite. I took a few deep breaths. I couldn’t think like that. He was with me because he wanted to be, not because I had forced him, or because he was being charitable. He could have had any woman that night, including Eleanor, but he chose me.
Too hot to handle: A curvy girl romance Page 11
