She has no reason to lie to me.
But I don’t get it. Luke and I have a fight and he buries his cock in a fucking prostitute?
My heart feels like it is shattering in that hallway. The pain runs deep and sharp. This kind of misery in my heart is new to me. I’ve never experienced it before and I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to think any more about Luke fucking her. I don’t want to think about him anymore at all.
I honestly feel like I could punch a wall. Or maybe his face. I want to go into our suite and confront him. I want to look into his eyes and ask him what makes him think it’s okay to fuck a hooker after last night. What makes him think it’s okay to sleep with anyone after the way we’ve been with each other? But just the thought of the ensuing arguments makes me feel exhausted. I’m so done right now. I’m so angry and hurt. I wonder if I can find a new job before I get back to the states. Would it even matter?
What I need is a drink.
Yes, if I just get a drink in me, or several, I’ll be able to make it through the rest of this miserable trip until we head back to the states. I’m so over Luke, this trip, and this whole fucking country right now.
I turn around and head for the elevator. My mind is so scrambled I don’t register the ride down or the walk to the bar. Suddenly, I find myself sitting down at the bar and ordering a vodka with a finger of tonic. The bartender fixes it up and sets it in front of me. I drink it and order a second one. He doesn’t so much as raise an eyebrow. I drink that down and hit him up for another. I don’t want to think anymore. I want to feel completely and totally numb.
“Hey, Jade,” a deep, masculine voice says from behind me.
I turn to see Carl Magnus in all his Viking glory. His long blond hair drags over the shoulders of his suit jacket, and he looks like a fusion of ancient and modern man.
I’m surprised. I really didn’t think I was going to see him again. Especially after the way Luke had acted toward him the other day. “Hey, Carl,” I say glumly. “What brings you here?”
He sits down on the bar stool next to me. “I’m day drinking today,” he replies with a laugh. “I don’t think I can make it through another boring speech unless I get a little buzzed. What’s your excuse?”
“You know, I’m not usually a day drinker.” I finish my third drink.
The bartender points, and I nod my head. He gets to pouring me a fourth one.
I haven’t eaten much today, and I know I need to pace myself. I need to make sure that I don’t go over my limit and totally embarrass myself. I’m still on a business trip, whether or not I’m with Luke. I still need to be professional.
Carl nods. “What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?”
The bartender serves me my drink, and Carl orders himself a straight Jack Daniels.
Should I tell him? Does he really need to know what’s going on between Luke and me? I bet he would love to hear that we aren’t working out. That Luke is off fucking everything that walks while my heart breaks more and more. I imagine myself taking Carl up to my room just as Luke is leaving his. He’ll get mad, and I’ll say, “If you can fuck whoever you want, so can I.” I almost burst into a mad giggle. I’m starting to feel quite light-headed. Maybe a bit crazy too.
“Well, I’ve realized something that I think might actually be pretty awful,” I say.
“What’s that?” Carl asks.
I take a sip of my drink. This one tastes more like tonic than it does vodka. I make a face. The bartender must think I’m a lightweight and can’t handle my alcohol. I finish the drink, fully aware I left Carl just hanging. I turn back to him. “I’m in love with Luke.”
“I’m well aware. It was the reason I hit on you. I like you. And I could see that a good dose of jealousy would do Luke good.”
“What? You knew I was in love with Luke that day?”
“Of course. I saw it a mile off.”
“How?”
“The way you were looking at him, but I know Luke is a tough nut to crack. He was fighting it, so I decided to help you by giving him a little push.” He grins. “I figured he’ll owe me, then.”
“No, you don’t get it. We aren’t together. I’m in love with him. He couldn’t give a shit about me.”
Hearing the words aloud is a kind of a revelation that I cannot ignore anymore. They couldn’t be truer if I pulled them out of a law book. We aren’t together. We never have been. And I shouldn’t be letting him get to me, and drinking my woes away at a hotel bar. I should be out sight-seeing and enjoying myself. I’ve finished everything I had to do for today. But even the thought of going sightseeing on my own makes me feel depressed.
“You still aren’t together?” Carl asks, surprised.
Chapter 20
Jade
I shake my head glumly while he slips the bartender money. I’m pretty sure he just bought me a drink, and I wonder what Luke would think if he saw it. Actually, I know exactly what he would think. He would think that Carl is trying to take me away from him. In the past, he would have got mad, but now I guess, he won’t give a shit.
“No, we aren’t together,” I say with a heavy sigh.
He frowns. ‘Why not?”
“It’s a long and pathetic story.”
“It can’t be worse than the lecture I should be listening to.”
I suppose it can’t hurt to talk to him. For some weird reason, he seems to be on my side. “First of all, thank you for trying to help me.” I wrinkle my nose. “By pretending to hit on me.”
He nods to acknowledge my gratitude.
“As you guessed, I’ve been secretly lusting after Luke for months now. Anyway, it all kicked off during this trip and we kinda started sleeping together. We went to a beach, and he asked me out on a real date last night, and I thought we were getting on really well. So he takes me to this really nice restaurant, and then in the middle of it, he wants to leave. So, we leave and when I force him to tell me why he was being such a dick, he told me this awful story about—”
I realize I’m rambling and stop before I tell Carl too much. As mad as I am with Luke, what he told me about his father is an intensely personal secret. Luke may have betrayed me by fucking someone else, but I won’t betray him. I skip over that part.
“Anyway,’ I continue, staring down at my drink. “He basically told me it’s hard for him to be with me. I told him if he doesn’t know what he wants, then I can’t do this. So we haven’t spoken since then. I left to do some last-minute things for a speech he is giving tomorrow. I come back to the suite and there’s a hooker leaving his room.” I say the word “hooker” way too loud, and it makes me cringe with shame. I look around to make sure no one heard me.
Carl chuckles.
“What?” I ask. “I don’t really see what’s so funny. My heart is broken. I’m sitting at a bar, day drinking with a guy who almost got his shit rocked for pretending to hit on me. There’s no humor in any of this.”
“You really love this man, don’t you?” he asks quietly.
I nod my head.
He looks at me and really studies my face. His eyes are so green and piercing they make me feel nervous and uncomfortable. Like an insect struggling on a pin.
“Well, you need to give him a chance,” he states casually. Like it is the most natural thing in the world for me to simply gloss about last night’s fiasco and forget about the hooker.
I stare at him in shock. “You do realize I said he just fucked a whore, right?”
He laughs again.
“I’m glad you find it hilarious, because my heart feels like it’s been shredded to ribbons,” I snap.
“You need to let that go,” Carl says with a shrug of his massive shoulders. “You said you weren’t together. So technically he didn’t cheat on you. Sometimes when a man is scared of something that he knows is good for him he turns to what’s familiar instead.”
I shake my head with disgust. “Just trust a man to stick up for another.”
> “Come on. I’m on your side. The thing about turning to what is familiar is that it never works. What have you got to lose? You love the guy. Give him a real chance and let him prove his love for you. If he fails, you can be miserable then.”
“Love for me? Have you heard a word I’ve said? He doesn’t love me. He doesn’t even want to be with me. He won’t tell me anything. To get the story about his dad was like squeezing blood out of stone.” I wave my hand around my face. “He’s put this wall up between us. I can’t get through, no matter what.”
“Trust me, that man loves you,” Carl says stubbornly. “I could tell when he called me out when he thought I was hitting on you. I saw it in his eyes.”
I think about how Luke acted when Carl hit on me. Carl could be right. Luke’s reaction that day was more than just jealousy. It could have been love, too. It makes me smile, and I’m starting to feel a little better about everything. Also, the alcohol is making my head buzz. “I don’t know how to get him to open up to me. I know you say that he loves me because of how he acted. But maybe that’s not love. Maybe that’s just lust and possession. A kind of crazy.”
“Isn’t love just a happier version of insanity?” he asks and takes a drink. The ice cubes in his drink clink together as he tips his glass back. He sets it on the counter and looks at me. “If you want to know the truth, you have to confront him. You owe it to yourself to be brave.”
“I wish it was that easy,”
“Best form of defense is attack. So go in, all guns blazing.”
“You know, you’re kind of easy to talk to. Like one of my girlfriends.”
He laughs. “It’s the long hair, isn’t it?”
I smile. I really like him. “Maybe. But there’s not one single feminine cell in you. No one would mistake you for a woman. You’re all man.”
He grins. “Well, there goes my dream of being a drag queen.”
We both laugh at that.
Carl motions to the bartender. “Another round for the lovely lady and me, please.”
The bartender mixes us up some more drinks. I know I shouldn’t drink anymore. The first ones are starting to hit me hard. That last sentence came out all slurred, but I figure I’ll stop after this one. I’m sure I can handle one more without anything bad happening. I’ve finished all my work, all I have to do is crawl upstairs, and go to bed. Alone.
As I sit there morosely sipping my drink, Carl regales me about his life. How he climbed Mount Everest. His story is fascinating, and he’s a good storyteller, but I can’t stop thinking about Luke. I’m disappointed that he never even tried to call me. When I look at my phone I see that it is turned off. I turn it back on, but there are no texts or voice messages.
Suddenly, the alcohol hits me hard, and it’s all too much.
“Are you okay?” Carl asks me.
I shake my head. I’m trying hard not to cry. That’s the last thing I want to do in front of him. In front of anyone, really.
Carl offers me a gentle look, at odds with his hulking stature. “What you need to do is finish your drink, go upstairs, and knock on his door. Tell him you want to talk to him, and that you aren’t going to leave until he, as you Americans would say, damn well talks to you.” He pauses and raises his eyebrows. “But he has to really talk. It can’t just be him mumbling that he doesn’t know how he feels. It’s time for him to man up. Don’t let him get away with that bullshit again.”
It’s good advice. And he’s being friendly. Like legitimately friendly. Not how guys are when they want to get in your pants, or because they think you have great tits. He’s being a good human being, and I love that.
“Thank you for talking to me,” I say. “I know I’ve said that already, but seriously. You’ve helped me feel better. I’ve really needed this. I’m in a foreign country, and it feels like I’m all alone.”
“You are welcome. And don’t worry, little Jade, Luke will come around. You’ll see. He can run, but he can never hide from his love for you.”
I smile gratefully at him. I do feel a little better. But I know I won’t feel totally better until I am able to get Luke to sit down and actually talk to me. And if I can’t, then that’s on him. That will be his own problem.
I finish my drink and set the empty glass down on the table. “Do you think I should go upstairs now?” I ask my new-found confidant.
Chapter 21
Luke
I pace my bedroom floor restlessly. I was glad the hooker came by when Jade wasn’t around. It wouldn’t have been a pretty sight. But where the fuck is Jade now? I’ve already been to the conference hall, the room upstairs where all the other PA gather to do their clerical work, the swimming pool, the three coffee bars.
Hell, I need a drink.
It’ll help clear my head. I decide to go down to the bar, first. I head out to the elevator, and make my way to the closest drinking hole. I stop mid-step at the entrance of the bar. Carl Magnus at the bar, sitting next to Jade, and too fucking close, damnit. I don’t like this. As I watch in stunned disbelief, the asshole slides an arm around her. My blood starts to boil.
“What the fuck?”
Now I know why she didn’t answer. She’s right here with the guy who was hitting on her the other day.
Mesmerized by the scene unfolding before my eyes I see her laugh at something he says. I don’t know what the hell is so funny, but I do know I’m going to put a stop to this once and for all. I’ve already told this guy to stay away from her.
She smiles at him and says something. He smiles back.
From where I’m standing, they are clearly flirting. I see red. It’s all I see. My fists clench at my sides. She’s my girl. I thought I told this jerk that already. And now here he is. As soon as there’s a little hint of trouble, he comes sniffing around. Who the fuck does he think he is?
I feel sick and angry. All of my muscles are tense, and I’m grinding my teeth into dust. But I can’t calm myself down. I’m seething with jealousy. I take one step, and then another, until I’m standing right by them. My fists are still clenched at my sides.
He is telling her some story.
Both of them are oblivious to me. He mentions Paris, and I know I’m about to punch him. I don’t have time to listen to him telling my girl romantic stories.
“Carl,” I say. I glare at him so he knows that I’m not here to play nice. He’s trying to take what’s mine, and I’m not going to let that happen. He’s stupid if he thinks I’m going to let him take her from me.
He turns and looks at me. “Hey, Luke. Funny thing you’re here.”
“Oh yeah, why’s that?” I ask, feeling even angrier.
“We were just talking about you,” he says.
I look at Jade. She avoids my eyes, and that doesn’t sit right with me. It makes me paranoid. Pain tears through me. Did I do this? Did I push her into the arms of another man?
I turn back to Carl. “You were talking about me? You think you can just sit here with my girl and move in on her because we had an argument?”
“Luke,” Jade says warningly.
I don’t respond to her. I’m too focused on Carl right now. I want to knock his stupid teeth out.
“You’ve got it all wrong,” he says and stands up.
My clenched fist collides with his jaw before he can say anything else. He stumbles back and trips over his bar stool. Carl Magnus doesn’t fall to the floor like a demolished skyscraper, he rights himself, shakes his head and grins at me. That stops me in my tracks and the fact that Jade screamed. I grab her hand and pull her through the lobby. People are running over to make sure that Carl is okay, and I just wish I had knocked him out cold.
“Let go of me!” Jade shouts.
Totally ignoring her, I drag her struggling body into the elevator with me. Someone tries to come in with us and I glare at him. He steps back immediately. The doors close. Finally, we’re alone. I’m vibrating with fury. I can feel my muscles shaking from how tense they are.
Ja
de looks really angry, too. When the elevator dings, she steps out quickly, trying to leave me behind.
I catch up with her in a single step, grab her hand, and take her into the suite.
I still don’t know exactly what I want from her. And that might be the worst part about this whole thing. I wasn’t raised to talk about my feelings. I was raised to push feelings aside.
I close the door behind me and look at her. I’m not sure what to say or do, but she looks fucking gorgeous standing here in my bedroom. My dick twitches. I want to fuck her, but I know I’ll get a knee in the nuts with the way she is feeling. Beside, we have things we need to discuss. Like her great idea of letting that douchebag buy her a drink and put his arm around her.
I feel myself getting angry all over again, just from thinking about her sitting there with him. The image of him touching her enters my mind, and it drives me crazy. I want to punch his face all over again. So much for being turned on. I cross my arms.
“What the fuck was that about, Luke?” she yells before I can interrogate her.
Her face is dark with anger. I’ve never seen her this way. She looks like she wants to punch someone, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that someone is me. I deserve it after everything that’s happened.
“You were drinking with him. He had his fucking octopus arm around you.”
She gasps with astonishment. “I was having a civilized drink with him. He’s the only friend I have in this country. He was comforting me.”
“Comforting? Pull the other one. I wasn’t born yesterday. You think I don’t know what was on his mind. He was plying you with alcohol…” I stop, my eyes narrowing. Her chest is heaving and her cheeks are flushed. She’s drunk! “How many have you had?”
“None of your fucking business.”
“Everything about you is my fucking business.”
“Let me get this right,” she states sarcastically. “You get to be possessive over me, but I don’t get to object if you fuck other women.”
Too hot to handle: A curvy girl romance Page 40
