It’s Now or Never

by Carole Matthews

  ‘This stuff tastes better, the more you drink of it,’ she decides.

  The water rushes below us. The wind lifts our hair. We tuck into the canapés that I’ve purloined.

  ‘This was going to be our year,’ I remind her.

  ‘Fine fucking mess we’re making of it.’

  I sigh and it’s snatched away from my mouth. ‘What are you going to do about Jude?’

  ‘Leave him.’

  We drink from our bottles then wipe our mouths with our orange gloves.

  ‘What are you going to do about Greg?’

  ‘Love him,’ I say.

  ‘And Peru?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ I say. Is there any point in having a dream when no one else cares whether you achieve it or not? At this moment, I’m too drunk, too dazed, too disorientated to be able to come to a conclusion.

  Chapter 73

  We’re nearly at the bottom of our bottles of Totally Tropical and, to be honest, it’s not true that you can never have too much of a good thing.

  ‘I feel sick,’ Lauren says, just as I’m thinking exactly the same.

  Surely this torture will be over soon. The boat turned ages ago, so we must be coming near to the dock again before long.

  ‘We should think about getting down from here and finding our clothes,’ I say to my sister. Do I sound a little slurry too?

  I can’t even stand up in this damn suit. My feet scrabble on the floor and, try as I might, I can’t get the necessary leverage.

  ‘Here, let me help,’ Lauren says.

  ‘I’ve got it.’ I tip myself over until I’m on my knees on all fours. Then I take a bit of a breather, before hoisting myself upright. ‘Is it me or are these costumes getting heavier?’

  Grabbing Lauren’s hands, I haul her to her feet, both of us panting alarmingly.

  ‘Think we can tackle the ladder again?’ Oh, it seemed like such a good idea when we climbed up here! Now it seems to be swaying alarmingly.

  ‘I’ll go first,’ Lauren says, and she waddles towards the edge of the roof in a slightly unnerving and wobbly way.

  ‘Be careful,’ I say. I might only be a couple of minutes older than Lauren but I still think of myself as the big sister.

  She swings her legs over the side and starts down the ladder. There’s a lot of huffing, puffing and swearing. I peer over the side anxiously until she’s nearly at the bottom, out of harm’s way.

  The boat sways enthusiastically as I make my way towards the vertical ladder, holding on tightly to the railings. I can see the dock coming into view now – thank goodness!

  Lauren is at the bottom, down below, when she suddenly shouts out, ‘You bastard!’ and launches her barrel-shaped body across the deck. It can only be Jude.

  Sure enough, her lover is standing there, trying to grab hold of Lauren’s arms as she pounds her orange gloves against his chest. Then she clocks him round the head with her pineapple hat.

  Hastily, I swing my own legs round and ease my pineapple-clad bottom to the edge. I need to get down there before blood is shed. As my feet hit the first rung, I feel very unsteady. Ooo. Think I’ve had way more to drink than I imagined. I thought this Totally Tropical stuff was as weak as gnat’s wee. Maybe I was wrong.

  I try to hurry down the ladder. But hurrying and being dressed as a pineapple are not, it seems, compatible.

  Chapter 74

  Lauren whacked Jude again with her pineapple-top hat. He held up his hands. ‘Ouch!’

  ‘How could you?’ she wailed. ‘You said you were working late. You said you couldn’t get away. You lied to me!’

  ‘Lauren, Lauren,’ he cajoled. ‘Calm down. People are starting to look.’

  It was true that a small but very interested crowd had inched nearer to them.

  ‘What else have you lied to me about?’ she sobbed.

  ‘Nothing.’ Jude was now gripping her by the arms. ‘Nothing, I promise you.’

  ‘Are you ever going to leave her?’ Lauren cried, all semblance of dignity gone. How could she conduct a dignified argument dressed like this? She might as well give her lover both barrels while she was fortified by a bottle of Totally Tropical. ‘Five years, Jude. I have waited five years for you.’

  ‘Not much longer,’ her lover swore. ‘Just calm down. Please, Lauren, you’re making a scene.’

  ‘I want to make a scene,’ she shouted. ‘I want you with me. Permanently. Not just two or three times a week for a rushed hour. It’s not fair to me and it’s not fair to your family.’

  ‘I will sort it out.’ Jude looked stricken and glanced round at the crowd. ‘Financially, this is a really bad time for me to leave. But I will do it. The timing just has to be right.’

  ‘No.’ Lauren stood back from him. Suddenly she sounded a lot more sober and sensible than she had. ‘Stay with your family. Make this up to them. I don’t want anything more to do with you.’

  ‘Don’t say that, Lauren,’ Jude begged. ‘You know you don’t mean it.’

  ‘This time, I do,’ she insisted.

  ‘I will leave.’

  ‘No,’ Lauren said. ‘This is over. It’s gone on way too long. I should never, ever have got involved with you in the first place, Jude. It was insanity.’ The pineapple suit made her feel as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. ‘Well, now I’ve had enough. Stay with your wife and your children. I don’t want you.’

  Then a small voice came from the crowd. ‘And I don’t want you either.’

  Jude’s wife Georgia stepped forward.

  ‘I can explain everything,’ Jude said in time-honoured fashion.

  ‘I don’t want your explanations,’ his wife said, her voice calm and level. ‘And I don’t want you to come home tonight. Book into a hotel or go to her. It doesn’t matter either way to me.’

  ‘This is all a dreadful misunderstanding.’ Jude tried a laugh. No one joined in.

  ‘I’m surprised at you, Lauren,’ Georgia said. ‘I always liked you. I thought you were a friend.’

  ‘I’m so sorry, Georgia,’ Lauren offered. ‘I can’t apologise enough for what I’ve done.’

  ‘I don’t want your apology. I just want you to keep away from me and my family.’

  With that, the children ran up behind their mother. ‘We didn’t know where you’d gone, Mummy!’ Benjy said.

  ‘I came to look for Daddy.’ Her eyes met Jude’s. ‘And I found him.’

  ‘Are we going home now?’

  ‘Yes,’ Georgia said with a glance behind her. ‘The boat’s about to dock.’

  ‘Come on, Daddy,’ Daisy said.

  ‘Daddy’s got things to do,’ Georgia said. ‘He’s not coming back with us.’

  ‘Oooh,’ Jude’s daughter whined.

  ‘Georgia,’ Jude pleaded. ‘I beg you not to do this.’

  ‘Come on, children,’ she said. ‘Let’s make our way downstairs. You go ahead of me. I want a word with Daddy. But don’t run.’

  When the children were out of earshot, she lowered her voice and said, ‘You’re welcome to him, Lauren. He’s not fit to be my husband.’ With that she turned on her heel and walked, head held high, after her children.

  Jude turned to Lauren. ‘What have you done?’ Then he chased after his wife, barging through the open-mouthed people who barred his way. ‘Georgia,’ he shouted as he chased after her. ‘Georgia, wait!’

  Lauren sank to the deck. Her heart was breaking, not for her, not for the fact that she’d lost Jude, but for the pain that it had caused – would cause – to his wife and children.

  Annie had always warned her that this would end in tears, she thought – and it looked as if her twin sister had been right.

  Chapter 75

  I’m halfway down the ladder, frozen with shock at the devastation that’s unfolding on the deck beneath me. My hands are white fists as I grip the metal.

  This is all my fault. All my stupid fault. If I hadn’t been so keen to come here in pursuit of Blake Chadwick, then none
of this would have happened. My sister will never forgive me for this. I’ll never forgive myself.

  I watch as Jude storms after his wife and my sister slumps to the deck. As fast as I can, I scuttle down the last of the rungs. I have to go and comfort Lauren.

  ‘Lauren!’ I shout. ‘Don’t move – I’m coming.’

  And then I’m not sure exactly what happens, but I think the boat swings hard into the dock – maybe even hits against it – and the next thing I know, I’m sailing through the air. My arms are flailing in lots of empty space and I can hear a gasp from the crowd. They’re certainly getting a great deal more entertainment tonight than they bar gained for.

  It’s true that your life flashes before you in moments of terror. As I fall, I see Greg and me at our wedding, my kids being born, me and Lauren and Chelsea playing together as kids – even Blake Chadwick gets a flicker. And I realise that, just as I suspected, there’s nothing in there of particular note to take with me to my grave.

  A second later and I land heavily on the deck with a heartfelt, ‘Ouff!’

  My pineapple costume helps to break my fall – and I never thought that I’d be grateful to be wearing it, but right at this moment I am – but all the wind is knocked out of me and I bang my head. More worryingly, there’s an unhealthy sounding snap from somewhere in my foot. The pain is excruciating.

  My vision seems to be all swimmy, but I can still see Lauren bending over me, her face white with anxiety.

  ‘Annie,’ she says in an urgent way. ‘Annie, stay with me!’

  But I don’t think that I do.

  Chapter 76

  I wake up in a hospital bed. And I’d like to be able to say that I remember nothing about what happened, but I remember it well. Only too well. I consider pretending that I have amnesia. Believe me, the temptation to blot out the events of this miserable evening is very appealing.

  On one side, Lauren is next to me, sans pineapple. That I can cope with. The concerned face of Blake Chadwick on the other is a different matter altogether.

  ‘Okay?’ he asks, when he sees my eyes open.

  Not that you’d notice, but I make a valiant attempt at a nod anyway.

  ‘God, Annie,’ he says with a sigh of relief. ‘You had us worried there.’

  My mouth is dry, my throat closed. I manage to croak out, ‘Where am I?’ Which is a bit clichéd, I know. But, hey, I’m clearly traumatised.

  BC, his face the picture of sympathy, offers me a drink of water and then helps me to lift my head while I take a sip.

  ‘You knocked yourself out when you hit the deck.’ My sister, eyes red rimmed, kindly fills in my missing moments.

  That would go some way to explaining the throbbing pain that’s got my skull in a vice-like grip.

  ‘They’re just keeping you in overnight for observation.’

  I always wondered what that involved. Now I know. It involves me lying in a bed feeling pitifully sorry for myself while being ignored by hospital staff.

  Still, no harm done if it’s only my head I’ve injured, I think. Then I realise that there’s a throbbing pain in my foot too and I remember the rather ear-splitting crack that came from that region as I hit the deck. It feels like there’s some kind of splint on it.

  ‘Is it broken?’

  BC nods and Lauren bursts into tears – not for the first time, by the look of her. I lean back against the pillow and close my eyes. My dream of going to Peru has just evaporated before my very eyes.

  ‘Metatarsal fracture.’ Blake reads my thoughts. ‘They said it could mend in time. Six weeks, if all goes well. It’ll be close, but it’s not impossible.’

  Six weeks. But is it really likely either?

  BC bites his lip. ‘It could be eight though.’

  Eight weeks.

  ‘They’ve put a removable plastic cast on so that you can start physio early.’

  So, some good news then.

  ‘What on earth were you thinking of, Annie, climbing up there?’ Blake wants to know. ‘When you were drunk.’ He sounds so disappointed in me.

  How can I tell him that I was thinking of him kissing my little colleague, Minny, of hearing him say I was past it, and that I too have disappointments of my own?

  ‘It’s my fault,’ Lauren butts in. ‘It’s my fault we were up there.’ But, quite wisely, she offers Blake no further information.

  ‘Where’s Jude?’ I croak.

  She meets my eyes. ‘Gone home.’

  A nurse bustles along to my bedside. She looks irritated at having her night-shift disturbed by someone dressed as a pineapple getting drunk and falling off a ladder. ‘How’s the patient?’

  ‘Disappointed in love, life and luck,’ I want to say but, of course, answer politely, ‘Not too bad.’

  ‘Hmm,’ she says.

  Blake strokes my arm tenderly and I want to pull it away, but I can’t. All of my limbs feel weak and feeble.

  ‘Are you the husband?’ the nurse asks.

  ‘No,’ a familiar voice says. ‘I am.’

  I may be hallucinating, due to having a bang on the head, but it looks to me as if that’s Greg standing there at the bottom of the bed. And he doesn’t seem best pleased.

  Chapter 77

  Greg is still in his fishing gear and I can tell where he was when he got the call. My husband must have come straight here.

  ‘I rang him,’ Lauren admits, plucking at her lip. ‘I was worried.’

  I see Greg glance at BC, his hand on my arm, stroking softly. Then my husband looks at me. His lips form a tight, white line. Perhaps I should introduce my boss to my husband, but I can’t summon the necessary energy, to be honest. I should just like everyone to go away while I slip into the pleasant oblivion of sedation once more.

  ‘I should be going,’ Blake says, standing up to vacate his seat for Greg. He looks uncomfortable now that my husband is here and I don’t know why. ‘We’ve got to strip down the boat overnight.’

  ‘I’m sorry to put you out,’ I say.

  ‘Don’t be silly,’ BC chides. ‘As long as you’re all right.’ He looks like he might go to kiss me on the cheek, but thinks better of it. Then he strides off down the ward, head fixed forward, not looking at the other people in the rows of beds.

  Greg takes up his place in the chair. I notice that he doesn’t kiss me.

  ‘Okay?’ he says.

  Why does everyone say that to people who are patently ill or in pain and lying in hospital beds? ‘Of course I’m not okay,’ I want to scream. ‘Fine.’

  ‘I’m going to get off too,’ my sister says. ‘If that’s okay?’

  ‘You go ahead,’ I tell her. ‘You must be exhausted.’

  Lauren gathers her things. ‘I’ll call you in the morning.’ She kisses my cheek. ‘Will you be all right?’

  ‘Yes, yes.’ Once everything stops hurting.

  ‘Try to get some sleep,’ she advises.

  ‘You too.’

  Lauren smiles at that. ‘As if.’

  ‘You’ll be okay.’ I squeeze her hand.

  ‘So will you.’ Then she kisses Greg briefly and disappears.

  Now my husband and I are left alone. And it seems as if he doesn’t know what to say. And neither do I.

  ‘Thanks for coming,’ I say, as if he’s a stranger.

  ‘I was worried,’ Greg says. I notice that he’s wringing his hands. ‘The nurse says you were drunk.’

  Thanks for that, Nursie. ‘Tipsy,’ I correct. ‘Lauren and I got tipsy on Totally Tropical. It was much stronger than it appeared.’

  ‘And you fell off a ladder.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘I suppose this means that the Inca Trail is off the agenda?’ Is there a note of smugness in my husband’s voice? Maybe there’s even a glimmer of a smile at his lips. I could be imagining it, but perhaps I’m not.

  ‘No,’ I say calmly. ‘I could well be recovered in time.’

  His face clouds over. ‘You can’t seriously still be thinking of going?
’

  My dander rises and, you know, I’m not even sure where my dander is. ‘Absolutely.’

  ‘I don’t know what’s got into you. Or who.’ He glances in the direction where Blake Chadwick has recently exited. ‘You’re completely mad, woman.’ And it’s not said in a fun, teasy way. My husband really does think that I’m mad.

  ‘I’d be mad to give up my dream,’ I tell him stubbornly. And, at this moment, if I have to hop all the bloody way, then I damn well will.

  Chapter 78

  Greg took the bottle that Ray was offering. They both sipped on chilled beer from the cooler that his friend had installed in the boot of his car.

  ‘This is the life,’ Ray said, smacking his lips.

  Greg’s rod twitched, his float bobbed and he could feel a little pull on the reel. Not much – maybe a perch – light, a pound, nothing more. Then, as he reeled it in, he saw the menacing wide head and tooth-filled jaw of a pike come up and snatch the fish from his hook with deadly efficiency. The ultimate predator had struck.

  ‘Bloody pike,’ Ray muttered in sympathy. ‘They’d eat their own granny if they could. No morals.’

  The pike wasn’t a fish Greg would normally seek out. He usually only encountered them when they were snatching his own fish from beneath his nose while he was powerless to do anything about it. They looked like trouble and they were trouble.

  They were a prehistoric fish, old as time itself, and their behaviour and appearance hadn’t changed much in all that time. If you hooked one they’d fight like fury to defeat you. The pike was the most fearsome and fearless of all the freshwater fish.

  Its camouflage was perfect, allowing it to move unseen alongside an unsuspecting fish before striking. It was enough to send shivers down the spine of any angler. The pike had a frightening turn of speed and explosive power. Underestimate him at your peril.

  Greg turned to his friend. ‘I think there is another man,’ he said. ‘I can’t be sure.’

  ‘No smoke without fire,’ Ray warned.

  ‘Annie fell over. Broke her foot.’ Greg decided not to mention the pineapple costume. The Bunny Girl, he thought, had been a step too far. Now this. ‘There was a bloke at the hospital. A bit too close for comfort.’