The Immortal Continent

by Virlyce

  The sect leader stroked his beard. “That’s a completely unreasonable amount. The sect elders of the Evil Flame Sect only practice the Madness Strike three times a day. Any more than that, and their bodies will break down. It doesn’t matter if Lucia’s a body practitioner; unless her meridians have been strengthened as well, she’ll likely suffer permanent injuries from doing this.”

  After Lucia’s little spar with the sect leader, Lucia went back to practicing against the training board. There is no doubt in my mind that she’s picturing the light on the board as the sect leader’s face. She didn’t take very kindly to the heart devil worm crawling down her ear, but it did increase the strength of her Madness Strike by leaps and bounds. As for Lucia being injured from attacking…, I don’t think that’ll happen. Call it a hunch. “Lucia will be fine. Trust me.” I have no basis for this statement, but I don’t think I’m wrong. Maybe it’s because Lucia’s dumbfounded me so many times before. “Isn’t that right, Lucia?”

  “Fucking die. Madness Strike!”

  Yup. With that much anger inside of her, there’s no way she’s suffering from any injuries. “See? She’s perfectly fine.”

  “Well…, I can’t deny she’s done a lot more than should be possible,” the sect leader muttered. His hand shifted from his beard to his moustache. “Alright. I shouldn’t judge her with common sense. But why are you, a weapon spirit, overseeing her training? Doesn’t she have a teacher?”

  “I am her teacher.” Yes, I’m a weapon spirit. That’s all I have been, and that’s all I will ever be, but I’m a damn good weapon spirit. I think. Of every weapon spirit I knew, I was the best, so that’s pretty damn good if I may say so myself. “I’ve brought her this far.” Right. Lucia’s merits are my merits. Without my teachings, Lucia would still be a luggage carrier back in the Ravenwood army. Would she? If one day, she happened to learn about qi, I think she’d have developed quite nicely without me, but I did impart multiple techniques to her. Regardless, I was the one who brought her up when no one else saw her worth. Disregard the fact I only picked her as my master because she was the only beastkin amongst the people who found me.

  “Really? You?”

  What was that raised eyebrow about, hmm? It’s like a wiggling caterpillar taunting me. “Are you looking down on me?”

  “Ah? No, no. It’s just that … it’s like the blind leading the blind? You’re weaker than her, but you’re her teacher. It makes sense for an immortal to tell someone how they became immortal, but for a mortal to explain to a mortal how to reach immortality…? Do you see what I’m getting at?”

  …His words make sense even if I don’t like them. “What are you trying to say?” Is he just here to criticize me? Or is he telling me my methods of teaching Lucia are wrong? I don’t think my methods are wrong at all. Lucia’s been upgrading her strength via beast cores and repetitive actions; if something isn’t broken, then you don’t need to fix it. Lucia managed to get a ton of beast cores during that little scuffle, but I’m still sorting through them all before I let her consume any. She wanted to consume them all at once, but I don’t want her to experience a sudden growth. She has to establish a firm foundation first. Hence the practice.

  “Quite frankly, it seems like Lucia needs someone to guide her,” the sect leader said. The small smile on his face made me want to punch him. “A master, if you will. One of the ancestors of our sect has taken an interest in her and would like for her to become his disciple. What do you think, Junior Lucia?”

  “You fucking die too. Madness Strike!”

  “E-eh?”

  Well, it seems like Lucia’s sincerely upset. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this angry before. It’s true that she throws tantrums and whines a lot and gets irritated when someone touches her food, but she never lets her anger stew like this. Maybe I pushed her a little too far with this training? But I have to push her at least this much; this Immortal Continent is a very dangerous place. Lucia has no sense of urgency, no drive. Even after facing the bow-wielding earth-realm expert, the first thing she wanted to do was eat instead of train. She should want to grind earth-realm experts underneath her feet without breaking a sweat! Or is that just me? Am I the one that’s too hasty? No, that can’t be. I’m training just as hard as Lucia is. But I do eat those exquisite swords while cultivating…. Alright. Fine. “Lucia. Take a break and have something to eat.” I unearthed the interspacial ring that I buried in a top-secret place. When I turned around, Lucia was directly behind me, staring at me with wide eyes. Her tail flickered back and forth as her gaze dropped to the ring in my palm, and her nose twitched as she sniffed the air.

  I held my palm out, but instead of taking the ring, Lucia flinched and stepped back. Her eyes narrowed as her tail straightened. “…What’s the catch?”

  Really. Am I that untrustworthy? “If you don’t want to eat, then that’s fine too. You still have 53,000 Madness Strikes to go.”

  “Eat! I’ll eat!”

  I couldn’t see Lucia’s movements clearly, but the next moment, she was holding the interspacial ring and hugging it to her chest while staring at me with wary eyes. I asked, “What are you looking at me like that for?”

  “You’re being nice. And that’s infinitely scarier than when you’re being mean.” Lucia’s head bobbed up and down. “You poisoned my food to help me train in the Immortal Poison Body like the green light said, didn’t you?”

  “I did no such thing.” I really didn’t. Just what exactly have I done to earn this distrust? Let’s think back to the very beginning. I taught Lucia by placing spikes underneath her while she sat in a horse stance. I trained Lucia by shooting arrows at her while she danced atop bamboo spears. I encouraged Lucia with lots of head pats. I transferred poison from Lucia to myself when she was dying. I sparred with Lucia to help her incorporate her beast cores faster. I trained Lucia’s Armor of Slaughter by throwing her out of a carriage and had her chase after it. I broadened Lucia’s horizons by forcing her to come to the Immortal Continent. Looking back on all this…, I see way more positives than negatives. There’s no reason for such a bad relationship between me and her to exist.

  “I’m going to eat ten aurochsen.”

  You don’t need to tell me how much you’re going to eat. “Then eat ten aurochsen.”

  “Are you sure you’re okay with me eating fifteen aurochsen?” Lucia bit her lower lip as she took a step back, still holding the interspacial ring to her chest.

  “Eat however much you need to replenish your strength.”

  “Are you really Durandal?”

  “If you’re done eating, then give me back the ring.”

  “Eating! I’m eating!” Lucia ran away and instantly set up the grill that Ilya made for her. She placed an aurochs on top of it, and then she created an additional fifty bonfires. She skewered some aurochsen and positioned them over the flames with experienced movements. There wasn’t a single wasted motion. If only she could be that dedicated towards training….

  “…Is she cooking our battle mounts? I know I’ve seen this before, but I just want to make sure.” The sect leader and Softie stood off to the side, just staring at Lucia. “How many days will she have to spend at the impurity-cleansing pool to purge all of this…?”

  “The pool’s still out of commission, Grandfather.”

  “Don’t worry. I sent the two remaining Great Poison Sect members to nullify the poison. And I’ve already made a deal with the Azure Dragon Sect for more impurity-cleansing fishes.”

  Softie looked like she wanted to say something, but she held it back. Lucia thinks Softie is being abused by her grandfather, but from what I can tell, he shows his care in a very strict manner. He just has to encourage her more often. I wonder how he does it. It’s easy for me to boost Lucia’s morale by rubbing her ears and tail, but Softie does not have a tail. She has ears though. Hmm. Well, taking care of Softie’s not my problem. I already have my hands full with Lucia.

  ***

  Phe
w. I can’t move. I ate too much. A whole 200 aurochsen disappeared into my stomach. I’m not a glutton! I just have no idea when I’ll be able to eat again; that’s why I ate until I was about to explode. Right now, if I eat even a single grain of salt, my stomach will rupture. That’s how bloated I am. There’s no way Durandal will force me to do anymore Madness Strikes in this condition! My plan is foolproof!

  “Alright, since you’re done, it’s time to resume training.”

  …My plan is foolproof.

  “Lucia. Closing your eyes and pretending to be asleep isn’t going to work.”

  Foolproof…. I’m going to cry. Gah! Don’t move me! I’m extremely fragile right now! “Wait! Wait! I’m awake.”

  “I had a feeling you’d do something like this.” Durandal patted my head and smiled at me. …That’s his scary smile. I didn’t do anything wrong! It was his fault for threatening to take away my food in the first place! “But don’t worry. Even if you can’t perform Madness Strikes, wasn’t there another technique you picked up?”

  Hmm. There was Madness Strike, Impenetrable Shell, Footsteps of the Giant, and Immortal Poison Body. I clearly can’t practice Madness Strike in my current state. If I mess up Impenetrable Shell and get hit, I’ll likely vomit everything out, so I don’t think Durandal will make me train this one. Footsteps of the Giant requires me to stand, so that’s already ruled out. Then the only thing left is….

  “It looks like you figured it out.” Durandal’s smile turned even more sinister! “The Immortal Poison Body.”

  Wait. How was I supposed to level up Immortal Poison Body? If I recall correctly…, I have to be exposed to—is that a snake!? Ah! It bit me! It went straight through my Armor of Slaughter and it bit me! What the fuck!? “Durandal!? Where did you get that snake!? Wait, no! Why did you let it bite me!?” My arm hurts! It hurts, it hurts, it hurts!

  “Calm down and channel the Immortal Poison Body.”

  “You have to warn me first!” Gah! Immortal Poison Body, do your stuff! Pain, pain, go away. Please. I can’t feel my arm. I’m not sure if that’s because the Immortal Poison Body technique is circulating or if it’s because the snake venom killed my nerves. But most importantly…. “Why are you still letting it bite me!?” If I weren’t so bloated, I’d get off my ass and kill it! But, but I can’t! And all my qi is focusing on circulating this technique. “Softie! Save me!”

  “Um, D-Durandal. Is, is this a good idea?” Stop being so soft, damn Softie! Kill the goddamn snake! Why are you asking Durandal questions when immediate action needs to be taken!? If I could open my mouth to yell at her, I would, but I just found out my throat is swollen and I can’t speak. I’m going to die. I’m sincerely going to die. At least I had a decent last meal. I can die without regrets. Mm. …Fuck! Who am I kidding!? I’m not going to die a worthless death like this! Channel faster, you stupid Immortal Poison Technique!

  “Of course. The Immortal Poison Body clearly said it required the user to be exposed to poisons.” Durandal’s voice was coming from everywhere. It was spinning too. By it, I mean everything. And I’m sure the snake was still biting me, but I just couldn’t feel it anymore.

  “But, um, you know poison is ingested, right? A snake’s bite is injecting venom into her, not poisoning her.”

  …What. Did I hear that properly? I better not have. The snake’s poison had better be messing with my hearing.

  “But the Immortal Poison Body said it covered venoms too.” Durandal leaned over and picked up the snake. Then it disappeared. Where’d it go? Why’s Durandal looking more like a blob and less like a person? I, I think I’m going to faint. Or die. Is there a difference? Isn’t fainting just a miniature death? Mm. By extension, sleep is death too. I die every day. Right. If I close my eyes now, then this’ll just be like … sleeping….

  Cold!?

  “No, there’s a footnote next to that statement. It only covers venoms if cultivated in conjunction with the Immortal Venom Body. I’m sure Lucia has it in one of the rings she retrieved.”

  Was Softie making me drink something? What is this? I’ll vomit if I drink anymore. I really will. There’s absolutely zero space left inside my stomach! I guess it can float around in my esophagus first. That should work. Ah, I’m losing consciousness again.

  “Is this it?”

  “No.”

  “This one?”

  “Are you … unable to read?”

  “That’s right. Look through this ring and find the Immortal Venom Body for me.”

  Is this heaven? I’m dead, aren’t I? The world’s black. It’s so dark. So, so very dark…. I can’t feel my body. Am I floating? Where am I floating? Ah. I see a green light. It’s so colorful…. I’m going to eat it. But where’s my mouth? Mm. I’ll eat it with my thoughts. Come closer, little green light…!? It hurts! Gah! Fuck! I was bamboozled! This isn’t heaven; this is hell! Urgh. I’m dying. No. I’m already dead. I’m suffering. I said life was suffering, but death is suffering too. Everything is suffering. I, I don’t want to exist anymore. Ah. The pain’s gone. Did my wish come true? Wait; if it did, then I wouldn’t be able to think right now. Then something else must’ve….

  “Well, she stopped groaning in pain, so I think she learned the Immortal Venom Body. Lucia, can you hear me? Channel the Immortal Venom Body if you want to live.”

  But living is suffering…. So I shouldn’t channel the Immortal Venom Body? But I don’t want to die either! That’s suffering too. There’s, there’s just no good choice, huh? Mm, but if I die, I’m sure Durandal would be sad. Right…? The person who put me into this perilous situation would definitely feel sad if I died, right!? Gah! I should die just to spite him! But then I won’t be able to eat if I die…. Mm. Alright. I’ll channel the Immortal Venom Body. Ah. I can feel my limbs again. And I can feel pain again. Ow. It hurts. Why am I so sore? Oh, I can see again.

  Softie’s face was hovering in front of mine. It was bright red. “How are you feeling, Lucia?”

  I have very, very mixed feelings. But right now, all I want to do is hug something soft and take a nap. And there’s a perfect candidate hovering over me. Don’t struggle, Softie! Any sudden movements and I’ll really puke. Ah. She really is soft. How can she feel like this without any fur? I’ll thoroughly inspect her … one … day….

  ***

  Alright. So I made a mistake. Who told the creator of that jade slip to add footnotes to his teachings? It’s pretty important to mention that the Immortal Poison Body only works on venoms if used in conjunction with the Immortal Venom Body. That’s seriously something that shouldn’t have been added as an afterthought. Yes, the information was directly seared into my mind, but it’s still easy to gloss over certain parts that are only mentioned once as if the creator were trying to hide them. At least Softie was here to save Lucia with that antidote. This mishap could’ve ended a lot worse. I even might’ve been forced to extract the venom out of Lucia again and disappear for an extremely long while.

  “So … about the ancestor seeking to make Junior Lucia his disciple…, looks like Junior Lucia could really use another teacher, eh?” There’s something about the smug look on the sect leader’s face that makes me really dislike him. It’s probably the fact that his eyebrows look like white caterpillars. “Since Junior Lucia’s not really in any position to respond, how about you decide for her? After all, your will is her will, as you said before you started a massacre.”

  Would Lucia be better off with another teacher? If she did have another teacher, he’d have to learn her quirks. He’d soon find out the best way to encourage her was through ear rubs. Then when she looks at him with her lewd face, the ear rubs would turn into tail rubs, and eventually into massages. From there, slowly, ever so slowly, they’d become more and more intimate with one another until Lucia receives a happy ending from him. Before she knows it, she’ll be tricked into nighttime activities with him! There’s no way I’ll allow Lucia to have another teacher! I may be a weapon spirit, and weapon spirits d
on’t have feelings, but I refuse to allow anyone else to have Lucia! This isn’t jealousy; nor is this pride. It’s…, it’s…, it’s just not going to happen!

  “Right. Lucia’s will is my will. And you heard her earlier. The answer is no.” Well, it was a lot cruder earlier, but I’m a refined weapon spirit. Such crass language is below me.

  “Hmm. Well, I can’t force her.” The sect leader shrugged. “It’s just unusual for a chosen not to have a master. Even the core disciples all have a master. A lot of higher ups in the sect won’t like that, so you’ll have to prove to us that Junior Lucia is worthy of receiving our support as a chosen.”

  “Grandfather! Are you going to make her do that…?” Softie still hadn’t escaped from Lucia’s embrace. I don’t think anything that can’t teleport can get away actually. I’ve been on the receiving end of that death-grip-like sleeping hug. It’s scary: Her arms lock her target’s arms and torso into place. Her legs lockdown her target’s thighs. Her tail coils around her target’s feet. If the target tries to move, everything tightens. And if Lucia happens to curl up and the target is positioned in a poor manner, there’s a serious chance of a few bones breaking. Thankfully, since I can get away by slipping into my weapon body, Lucia’s only been going after Ilya. I wonder how that little girl is doing anyway. I saw her having fun during the massacre, but I didn’t see her after it was over. …And I sidetracked myself. What was Softie talking about when she said that?

  “That? No, of course not.” The sect leader shook his head. What was that? Why were they talking so cryptically? Something bad’s going to happen to Lucia, I can tell. Mm, well, lots of good things have happened to her since joining as well, so it’s only fair. “The simplest way for Junior Lucia to show how valuable she is to the sect is to help solve some of its problems. Namely the issue of placating the sects that lost people during the cultural exchange.”