Failira, the Tahlet Vahllah (The Beautiful Whisper of the Goddess Saga)

by Orr, Krystal

  Talliea.

  Chapter 8: Connections

  "Lucky for you, is it not? The fact that you cannot speak with me. A few months ago, I knew who I was. I was a huntress of our tribe. I was a protector, a sister to my sisters. I had loved and been loved. My days were about learning of the world, of myself, and of the mysteries of Aitla."

  Arizira paused and looked over to her companion. Her mother's eyes held her own with a sense of sadness. She leaned against the tree she was resting against and looked up toward the moon above her. Insects chirped far away and the sounds of owls could be heard ever so often. Arizira had been traveling for only a day. Her pace was not as quick as she would have liked, but her condition kept her from moving any faster.

  She was still weak and her mind still hazy. Iolirthas helped, but Arizira did not feel like herself. She knew she would not be so again until she was with Talliea. The thought of the other woman made her smile fondly. She missed Talliea dearly. She missed her laughter and the sight of her smile. She missed the softness of her skin and the smell of her hair. She missed the way Talliea's eyes would hold her own in wonder and the way she would touch her with such innocent satisfaction.

  Most of all, Arizira missed the taste of Talliea's kisses. She missed losing herself in the other woman and experiencing the awe-inducing and astounding sensations such a coupling provided them.

  In short, she just truly missed Talliea. She missed her friend. She missed her lover. She missed the other half of herself that made her life so exhilarating. Still holding her mother's eyes, Arizira spoke again.

  "Then everything changed, Mother. I met Tah-li, whose beauty is unmatched and whose heart is the most pure. She challenged me and I could not help but love her. It was so easy," she sighed. "I knew everything there was to know that was important when we were together. She made me whole, complete and without flaw. I was willing to shed my duties, my responsibilities, just to look at her."

  Iolirthas nudged her hand. The night was in full dark and Arizira's eyes were glowing brightly. She had missed the night so much during her time with Talliea. Knowing what she did now about her own parentage, Arizira wondered why the night meant so much to her. She was half Esu and was just as much a part of the day as she was the night. Never before had Arizira felt so disconnected from herself and her people.

  She was no longer the person she once was. Her beliefs were now in question. All that made sense to her anymore was Talliea and the feelings she held for her. Of that, she was certain. Most certain. There were no questions that needed answers, no emotions that needed clarifying. If she could return to Talliea then she knew she would no longer feel so adrift.

  "The two of us held each other in friendship," Arizira continued, "and it was the most natural occurrence to both of us. We had both been looking for something. Answers. Hope. In the other, we found completion."

  Arizira sighed again and looked out over the forest surrounding her. A small fire burned to keep her warm as she sat alone with her thoughts and her mother. Her eyes allowed her to see everything around her without hindrance.

  "I did not want to love her," she whispered. "She scared me. We were so very different, Mother, as I am sure you know."

  The knowledge that her mother had fallen in love with an Esu woman was still hard to reconcile for Arizira. She had believed her encounter with Talliea to be unique. She had believed Talliea's clan to be the first ever to set foot in the Northlands. Such a belief had allowed her to be bold in her interest and pursuit of friendship. Knowing a whole other and completely different, clan of Esu had been, and most likely still was, in the north had left her unsettled.

  Was anything in her life the truth? A plain and simple truth? Were there riddles clouding every question she had for herself? Cynra had always been cryptic, but she had made Arizira extremely confused over the last several weeks. She spoke in circles and in half truths. She answered questions that had never been spoken and refused to answer questions Arizira needed her to.

  Why had she chosen to tell her about her second mother when she had? Had she seen something? Some future? Some possible outcome she wished to change? Why was Arizira so important to Talliea's powers? What were those powers? Surely Cynra did not believe that she and Talliea were meant to have any part in a possible battle between their peoples! Could not a peaceable solution be met?

  Then there was Bela'luin to worry about. Cynra had mentioned that it was she who was leading the attack against the Esu. Why? How did she know about Talliea? It was not the Arnira way to hold ill feelings about past loves. Was it? How much did Arizira truly know being half Esu? Perhaps darker feelings did reside in the Arnira and she had just never been witness to them.

  Still, she could not imagine why the other Elders would choose to attack a people they still knew nothing about. Myths were for entertainment and learning. How could her people believe everything in their ancient legends to the point of attacking a possible innocent group of people?

  Was Bela acting so because something had happened? Something Arizira did not know about? She and Talliea had been away from their peoples for several weeks. Had something happened in that time that now fueled the anger in Bela'luin's charge?

  Arizira sighed.

  Her head hurt. There was too much new information clouding up her thoughts. When did things become so complicated? All she wanted to do was love Talliea. Why was that so wrong? Why did it have to involve so many other people?

  Arizira had always believed herself to be loyal to her tribe. Their protection was of the utmost importance. Now, however, she found herself giving her loyalty to only Talliea. She knew she could not sanction any sort of unwarranted attack.

  The Esu and the Arnira could live in peace if only they were willing to give it a chance. Though she was aware of the Esu's love of war, she still held out the belief that they, too, would be willing to avoid bloodshed if another solution was made available. The Arnira outnumbered them and were better equipped in their own forest. What hope would Talliea's people have if Bela’luin's warriors reached them?

  Could Arizira do something to stop them? Was Bela'luin's force close to her location? If they reached the Esu camp before she did, then Talliea would be in danger and the two of them would be caught in the middle of battle. No, she had to find Talliea first. She could not risk looking for a possible Arnira advance party. There was more at stake now than just her own life or Talliea's.

  Since learning the answer to her unspoken question -- a question she had pondered even while with Talliea and had been confirmed by Cynra, Arizira was even more aware of the fact that she could not allow such events to come to life. There had to be a way to avert a war, without endangering her life or the life of her unborn child.

  The thought caused her to smile. A child.

  She was pregnant.

  A part of Talliea grew inside of her. She had enough Arniran blood in her veins to ensure such a conception was possible. How would Talliea feel when she told her? Would she be happy? Overjoyed? Arizira knew Talliea would not regret her pregnancy. Such an emotion was not in her nature. Smile growing, Arizira laughed to herself.

  She will ask questions. She will wonder how such a thing came to be without a man.

  Yes, Talliea would ask a lot of questions. It was what she did. She wondered about everything. When Arizira informed her that she was with life, a life the two of them had created with their love, Talliea would want to know how long she had been so, why she had not told her of the event sooner, and how the two of them had become pregnant to begin with. Seeing as how Arizira had been the one leading their sexual encounters, Talliea would probably question why it was not she who was pregnant.

  The line of thought made Arizira laugh again. Her spirits lifted and she felt lighter for a moment. All of her previous thoughts seemed to fade away as she thought her child with Talliea. She had never imagined herself being a mother and she was unsure how her love felt about being the same.

  The two of them had ne
ver spoken about children. She supposed the suddenness of her pregnancy would be shocking to Talliea, but she doubted the actual event would bring about anything other than joy.

  Their lives had only just begun when they had been ripped away from one another. Now a baby, so soon after they had fallen in love, was due in but a short few months. Arizira wondered how long her pregnancy would actually last. Arnira carried life within them for six months. How long did Esu women? Would her mixed heritage make for a difficult pregnancy or an easy one?

  Again, Arizira found herself longing for Talliea's company. As she sat deep in thought, another notion came to her mind.

  "Is my child the reason Cynra chose to act the way she did? Did she see something, Mother?" she asked, returning her attention to Iolirthas. She knew the wolf could not answer her, but she still felt the need to voice the questions aloud.

  The great white wolf laid its head across Arizira's lap and perked its ears up.

  "I shall take that as a yes." A moment passed. "She spoke of harm, harm coming to someone. Was it Tah-li? Our baby?"

  The wolf's ears flattened.

  "Was the harm she spoke of in reference to herself o-or you, Mother? Something made her take immediate action, yet she still refused me any useful answers. To whom does this harm befall?"

  Iolirthas lifted her head and looked up at the moon shining down above them. The sky was clear with naught but a cloud in the sky. Arizira sighed in frustration. She needed information. Her mind could not stay focused on one thought overlong before another fought for her attention.

  Between her desire to find Talliea, learning of the life growing inside of her, discovering the truth about her mother and her heritage, and trying to ascertain the cause for Cynra's behavior, Arizira was beset by nothing by questions on top of questions.

  She wondered what Talliea would say when she told her of her Esu mother. Had Talliea suspected all along? Would she feel differently about Arizira? View her as less "wondrous" because of her Esu blood?

  Would their child appear more Esu than Arnira since only a quarter of its essence would be Arniran? Arizira was half Esu, yet there was nothing on the outside to lead one to believe that to be true. Cynra had told her her hair and eyes were the only traits that spoke of such.

  Eyes the color of the sky and hair like the moon and the sun.

  Arizira nodded in thought.

  "I need rest, Mother. My mind can no longer keep up with the demands of my thoughts. It does not appear that I shall ever have all the answers I need. Once we find Tah-li, all will be made well again. She is all that matters. She and our unborn child."

  Iolirthas stood up and watched over Arizira as she went about making herself comfortable. After a moment, Arizira was still. Walking over to her daughter, Iolirthas laid herself down beside her and proceeded to watch over her.

  You will have your answers soon, my daughter. Do not let your thoughts be a burden to you.

  The words were not heard by Arizira for they existed only in Iolirthas's mind. With the moon soon to retire, both Arizira and Iolirthas laid down together and slept.

  * * * * * *

  The following morning, Arizira was walking with Iolirthas at her side. She had managed to sleep a few hours during the night and had awakened around mid-morning. She knew if she hoped to reach Talliea, she would have to travel during both the day and the night. The Esu were day walkers and would have a heavier guard set up while they slept.

  Iorlirthas walked in step by Arizira in silence. The sun was warm and the day bright. Birds sang in the trees and the smell of pine needles and fresh flowers wafted on the wind. After a few hours of traveling, Arizira stopped suddenly. Her eyes lost their focus and a smile spread across her face. She brought a hand to her chest and exhaled sharply.

  Iolirthas stopped and turned her head curiously.

  "She is in the forest," Arizira whispered with disbelief. "She...she must be looking for me."

  Iolirthas perked her ears up and nudged Arizira's leg happily.

  "I feel her. It is...oh, I had nearly allowed myself to forget how wonderful she made me feel."

  Laughing softly, Arizira's smile grew as she turned her head to meet her mother's eyes. Tears brimmed her own. "The pain is less, Mother. My heart no longer aches so. We must hasten our journey. I have to find her. I have to."

  Before Iolirthas could do anything further, Arizira laughed again and turned away from her. She quickened her pace and was soon jogging toward where her heart was leading her.

  * * * * *

  "Stop," Bela'luin commanded her warriors. She looked around the area she and her sisters were in and held a hand up. Her group of archers and battle-blades had been traveling for two days at a slow, but steady, pace. They had only stopped long enough to take respite and food before continuing their trek.

  "What is it?" M'kesei, Bela'luin's second in command, asked.

  "I thought I saw something…a flash of white against the landscape."

  M'kesei looked around her and scanned the forest. Her eyes zoomed in on places both near and far. "I see nothing. We should continue our advance."

  "Wait," Bela'luin hissed again over her shoulder. She could hear the others behind her adjusting their equipment and stretching out sore muscles. She had not imagined what she saw. There had been something that had caught her attention. Her eyes were keen and were not subject to fanciful imaginings.

  M'kesei sighed and gave the signal to the others to rest a moment, but still remain alert. She watched Bela'luin break away from the group and head deeper toward a small group of trees.

  Bela’luin cautiously approached the line of trees. She pulled her bow free from behind her back and notched an arrow. With the grace of a feline, she moved slowly and alertly. The trees grew larger around her while her sisters became smaller behind her. When she entered the small clearing that rested between the group of trees, the large white shape she had seen became suddenly clear.

  A wolf stood in the middle of the trees, its tail between its legs, ears back against its head, and fur standing up along its back. Its teeth were not bared, but Bela'luin knew the creature was on guard. She stopped and lowered her bow. It was a great sin among her people to kill a wolf for anything other than sustenance. To kill one blessed by Aitla for sport or anything undo was a scar upon the spirit that could never be removed.

  The wolf watched her as she replaced her bow and arrows behind her back and lowered herself before it.

  "Great spirit," Bela'luin said in honored tones. So caught up in the majesty of the creature before her, she was unaware of another that watched her from above.

  Arizira struggled to breathe normally as she sat above Bela'luin and Iolirthas on a tree branch. She held the thick middle of the tree with one hand while the other grasped her bow. When her mother had alerted her to others being close, she had been prepared for Esu men, not Arnira warriors. Quickly, she had scaled the nearest tree and waited for the newcomers to reveal themselves. She'd had no intention of killing anyone unless in self defense.

  When Bela'luin entered the clearing, Arizira had struggled to keep herself silent. The Arnira were closer to the Esu than she had thought! They were but a few days from making war on an innocent and unaware people. Luckily for her, her mother had chosen to avert a possible disaster. She watched as Bela'luin spoke to Iolirthas, never suspecting that the creature she kneeled before was something much more than a mere wolf.

  "You are a sign from Aitla. The goddess approves my course and lights my way with your presence."

  The moon was still young in the sky as Arizira watched from above.

  "You are a blessing, spirit."

  Iolirthas did nothing but continue to stand in the clearing. With the moon's rays shining down upon her sleek white fur, she appeared to glow before Bela'luin. After a brief moment, the tall hunter stood back up and looked around her.

  "Thank you," she said as she looked at Iolirthas. "My heart has been heavy with what I now do. Your presence is
wh--"

  She stopped suddenly and quickly withdrew her bow again. Sounds came from the east, voices and the click-clack of feet upon dried leaves. Others approached. Bela'luin retreated into the shadows the trees provided and took cover. When she looked back to the clearing, the wolf was gone.

  A moment later the voices grew louder, though Bela'luin could not understand their words. Arizira, perched above her, did however.

  "You have gotten us lost," one voice said as they stumbled into the clearing.

  "We will make camp here and return at first light. These woods appear different to the eyes without the sun above," another said.

  "You should have returned before the night fell. They could be watching us!" the first said in anger.

  "Enough!" a third voice interceded. "This errand is folly. We search for phantoms. Nothing more."

  "Then how do you explain the woman Lao'dahn fought?" the second voice asked.

  The group of Esu men began to set up a meager camp as they argued amongst themselves. With the faint light of the moon, they managed to quickly build a fire. Light grew around them and cast them all in shadows. Arizira counted five in total. She watched Bela'luin from where she lay hidden. Her bow was up and the string taut.

  She meant to attack them!

  Arizira's mind went frantic. She had no love for the Esu, especially the Esu men, but how could she sit by as Bela'luin killed them without making herself known first? It was murder. The men were not a threat to her. They were only making camp until they could return to their people.

  Yet, what could Arizira do? She could not risk being caught in the middle. What if she was shot? She had another life to think about. Arnira were extremely protective of their young, especially while pregnant. Already, she could feel the change within herself.

  The desire.

  The need to protect, at whatever cost, the innocent life growing inside of her. She could not afford to be as risky now as she once had been in the past. Another depended on her for protection.