Dear God, how much clearer could you be that this child needs me? Is working in the charity kitchen at the church good enough to serve you? Was the numbers kingpin right after all?
She grasped at her arms as she thought over that last question. To have Jay Evans be correct—
Goldie tripped over another word as she read her fairy tale and Nettie helped her.
Her brothers-in-law were so anxious for her to find a vocation. Was taking care of Goldie all she was intended to do?
While teaching Goldie how to make biscuits, she got an idea. So many rooms at the church went empty for the week. If the city wouldn’t see to consistent education for Negro children, then maybe she could. She’d start up a school for the children during those long breaks, so they didn’t have to be at loose ends. Such a school might keep her from being more directly engaged with Jay Evans too.
Nettie kneaded the biscuit dough with purpose and pinched some of it off to drop on the bubbling stew for dumplings, rolling out the rest to make biscuits. Teaching Goldie one of her family’s favorite hymns, she gloried in having some purposeful work.
At precisely ten after five o’clock, the front door to the frame house opened and Jay was there, filling the door with his bulk. Nettie set aside the book that she was reading aloud to Goldie and stood.
“Is that wonderful smell in my house?” he marveled as Goldie went to her father and clasped him about his legs.
“It’s stew, Daddy. I helped Miss Nettie to make it, and then we made the biscuits and put some of it on top and she said it was dumplings and we made a pudding for dessert, and I got to lick the bowl.”
“Slow down, little treasure.” Jay cupped his daughter’s face and released her, focusing his hazel gaze on his child. “I want a report from Miss Nettie too, to see if you were a good girl today.”
“I was good, Daddy. I always am. Good as gold.” Goldie smiled and sat back down on the couch.
“Well, Little Country?”
“We had a good day” Nettie drew out, “but I want to know what you mean by telling this child that she doesn’t need to go to school.”
“I didn’t say that.” Jay gave a laugh.
It stirred her emotions in a way that she didn’t like. A way that was not good for her. “That’s what Goldie said you said. Children are a blank slate—she heard what you said.”
“Goldie goes to school when they have it. They have a long break this month—they go back after Easter.”
“And it’s okay for her mind to lie fallow because she is a girl?”
“No. I mean, she needs to learn things that girls should know. She can help you. She was a help to you today, wasn’t she?” Jay gave Goldie a menacing look and she nodded her head adorably.
“She was. But I just don’t like these prevailing notions that somehow a Negro girl doesn’t need to learn because she’s a Negro girl. There has to be more to it than that.”
Jay folded his arms and regarded her.
The squirmy feeling inside of her returned.
“And what is your education, Miss Nettie?”
She stuck out her chin. “I graduated eighth grade. I’ve been working on my high school diploma. By correspondence.”
He unfolded his arms and stuck them into his pockets.
Well, she did have more education than Jay did. Instead of feeling superior over him, she balled her own fists. She shouldn’t have made him feel less. “But I haven’t finished yet. I was on a revival tour and stopped my studies. Now that I’m in one place, I intend to go back to it.”
“Good for you.” His jaws were tightened in way that let her know he was still mad. “What has that got to do with Goldie?”
“I don’t want her to be like me. I’m going to ask about starting a school down at Freedom Christian. If I can do it, I would like Goldie to come.”
“So you’ll still take care of Goldie then? Beyond today?”
Was that what his approach was all about? Taking care of Goldie? Well, she had said only one day…
“I suppose the tasks could overlap.” Nettie folded her hands.
A broad grin covered Jay’s face. He reached into a pants pocket and pulled out some more bills. Twenty dollars.
Her heart pounded. “I cannot take all of that.”
“It’s your pay for the rest of the week.”
“I cannot take all of that,” Nettie repeated, like a parrot.
“Use it to get supplies to start the school, then and stuff you need. If it will ‘overlap’. Come on. Help me put my blood money to good use in the church.”
“I don’t even know if the church will let me do it.”
“Well, you can always give it back.” His smile seemed to mock her, but he was right.
She took the money with a shaking hand and put it inside her reticule. “I’ll get going so you and Goldie can eat.”
“Should I bring her by the church in the morning?”
“Yes, I suppose so.”
“We’ll see you then. Good night, Miss Nettie.”
Nettie tipped her head. “Mr. Evans.” She left the house in some shock, but gripped her reticule with a fist, lest someone take it in this cold, cold city.
She was so glad the idea had occurred to her about the school. Now, she do some good. The idea should suit both of her brothers-in-law in their quest to let her have some suitable vocation.
Still, something loomed in Nettie’s heart. Her hands stayed slick on the bag. She could not shake the feeling. The plan meant she was still involved in Jay Evans’s life.
That might not be good for her.
Chapter Six
He felt fine about taking his daughter into the church basement.
But Jay would never go up into the sanctuary where Clara had held out a scrawny hand to rejoice in a God who chose not to save her. Furthermore, he did not wish to remember a beautiful faith healer who made promises that she could not keep.
At some point, he would have to tell Nettie about how he had known her before. Doc will probably tell her. Just to keep her away from us.
He dreaded the morning Nettie would tell him that she couldn’t work for him anymore. Her food, the appearance of the house, how she nursed his wound so well. He would miss her.
So, day after day, he kept taking Goldie to the church basement, and Nettie would be there, greeting him and Goldie with a smile. Each day she would pass them their breakfast plates and add a little more to his mound of food. Each night he would look forward to the delicious meal she’d created. Whatever it was, she would leave the food hot on the stove. He would watch her as she carefully donned her gloves and hat and left him and Goldie to their dinners.
“Since tomorrow is Sunday, I presume that you will not need me?” Nettie’s beautiful neck tilted a bit as she hooked the little button on her glove.
He didn’t like the act of Nettie covering her wrist because it meant that she was leaving. What would it be like to kiss the inside of that wrist just one time? He pushed away the thought of such an intimate action, and he startled to see Nettie staring at him with her luminous eyes.
“Oh yes. I guess not.”
Monday. All of a sudden the day seemed far off. Something inside of him sank like a ship, reminding him of how he had come to the United States as a terrified boy.
Her brown eyes warmed, looking at him. “You’re welcome to come to worship in the church, Mr. Evans. There would be Sunday school for Goldie and they have light pastries in the morning, not full breakfast.”
“Sounds great, Daddy.” Goldie’s small hand folded inside his own. “Let’s go down.”
“I don’t think so.” Where had his quick response come from?
Dread. Dread at the thought of going up into that sanctuary. Too many memories. He spoke up, “We can eat toast right here.”
Her smile wen
t away and instantly he had to make it right and let that smile come back. Jay never wanted to cause Nettie any sadness, even if she had done a terrible thing.
“Remember, after church everyone goes to Asa’s mother’s house for lunch. It’s a cold supper since there cannot be work on the Lord’s Day, but it’s a big, noisy family gathering with lots of children. Solly will be there for Goldie. I intend to make my announcement about starting a morning school.”
“I doubt Mrs. Caldwell wants to see me.”
His heart leapt as they smiled at one another.
There had been more back-and-forth with Asa’s mother at the charity kitchen. Mrs. Caldwell kept firmly in the kitchen, away from him, lest someone know she put down stakes on policy. All week, it was like an inside joke between him and Nettie. He knew that Nettie was not fooled by the hypocrisy on the stuffy church lady’s part.
However, Nettie’s slender face was very serious right now. “It’s not for us to judge others who want to come to church. We all belong.”
“It didn’t go too well the last time I was in church, so I think I’ll sit it out.” Jay tried to keep his voice light, but too much of the past weighed his tone down.
“How’s that?” And she stood there. Rather than hurry off home as she usually did, Nettie waited to hear him out, inviting and open, listening.
“Me and God, we’ve had some clashes on a few things, and so, I just think it isn’t a good idea right now.”
“What about Goldie?” Nettie gestured to his daughter who, much to his chagrin, was hanging on to every word.
Nettie had a point about Goldie. Clara would have liked it if Goldie went to Sunday school. With the doctor’s kid, Goldie knew someone whom she could go with. It might be okay for her. He was about to open his mouth and make arrangements for Nettie to take her, but then, Nettie spoke.
“I’m sure her mother would have wanted her to know of God’s love.”
She went too far.
Little Country was an innocent in so many ways and she probably was just reaching out, but he had to let her know not to rub salt into his wound. There was too much pain about Clara’s death already.
“Goldie, go sit in the dining room to get ready for dinner. I’ll be there in just a second.”
Goldie was surprised at his tone, but she obeyed, he knew, because he rarely spoke to her in that way. He waited until he could hear his daughter plant her little behind in her seat.
Turning to Nettie, He stood right next to her, over her, so he could be understood. He knew his height would make a difference. But then Jay caught a whiff of the spicy scent Nettie must have used in her hair and his stomach quaked. How long had it been since he’d smelled something like that?
Jay swallowed and spoke in a low tone—the one he used when one of his runners had messed up someone’s stake—ignoring the wide set of her eyes, “You’ve got to know. I appreciate what you have done. Goldie has had a good time and has been well behaved. You even straightened out her braids. You saved me from where I was in the gutter and took me to the doc. I’m grateful for that. But…don’t you dare tell me what Goldie’s mother would have wanted. You don’t know anything about us. You came in here and got rid of what I had set up for our help. You and your food have been better, but this is too much.”
Now he had done it. She wouldn’t want to come back. His runners had to put up with him talking to them that way, but she didn’t. No more of her delicious beef stew, juicy chicken or steak dinners. He gulped at the thought. He had really messed up this time.
But Nettie didn’t back down.
She didn’t run away.
She held up a gloved hand, the one he had watched her button up, and faced him head on. “I apologize if I have offended you in any way. I just know that Goldie’s mother was a woman of faith and—”
“How?”
“Excuse me?”
“How do you know that Clara was a woman of faith? Someone at that nosy church say something about the poor policy man’s wife?”
“I do not gossip, Mr. Evans. I could tell because of the faith texts still here in the house, things not yours.”
Jay sorrowed for Nettie, but he had to let her know how he felt. “Your family? They tell you?”
“I’m sorry to say that my family has not been saying much to me since I have been coming here. They do not approve of my new job, another good reason for the school. It’s a job I can do and not be here. With you.”
He almost stepped back at her revelation. He took in Nettie’s determined stance with a new measure. So she was going against her family by being Goldie’s nanny?
Her rebellion took guts, Jay knew. He admired Nettie for it. What would they think if he started to court her?
He remembered how Lem and Matt looked at the young woman. They would be willing to pay her that kind of attention. Lem had indicated several times that he was going to go to church just to get Nettie to look at him.
Still, the thought of having to face even more disapproval made Jay angrier and he burst out, “Sorry to hear that. If it’s so difficult for you, maybe you should stop coming here.”
Her beautiful eyes were less wide as they narrowed, fixing on him. “Are you firing me, Mr. Evans?”
“No. No. Of course not. I just wouldn’t want you to be in any kind of trouble in your home situation.”
“I can handle what I must, Mr. Evans. I’m about doing what’s right. I’m willing to work in accordance to his plan, not my family’s.”
“And what if you didn’t have a place to live? Would your God provide for you then?”
She faced him full-on and there was no embarrassment or shaking in her voice. “I know that he would.”
“It must be nice to be so sure. Clara was so sure. But she died in pain because she believed. What a nice outcome for her—a woman who had never done anyone any harm.”
“I’m sorry to hear she died in such a way.” Nettie’s voice was truly full of sympathy, not a fake concern as he had heard from so many women who wanted to replace Clara in his life. Did she really care that much?
He swallowed. Now was not the time.
“She believed in a faith healer, someone who came to Freedom Christian and told her that if she believed, she would be well.”
“A faith healer?” Her perfectly shaped eyebrows furrowed. “What’s that?”
“Clara went to a revival one night at Freedom Christian with some brother and sister act. I carried her in. They came up to touch her and professed to heal her.”
“Was I there?” Nettie put her glove to her chest.
“You were.”
The two words made a complete silence between them. Tears welled up in her eyes so instantly that her show of emotion could not be fake. Her tears made him feel pain for her, and caused the sting of hurt tears in him. And to his humiliation, for one to slowly fall.
How dare she make him cry? To bring all of that back?
Jay was about to whisk his tear away, but then Nettie touched him. Her gloved hand reached out from her chest to his arm. Oh, how badly he wanted to take his arm away, but her touch was like a balm to his wound.
He would use words instead. “She died that night.”
“I’m so sorry,” Nettie offered, “but you must know that we never, ever profess to heal.”
“You made Clara believe she would be better.”
“Oh, Mr. Evans. We have only ever been about bringing God’s word forward, not ever about healing. That would be to take on his mighty power, and we are just humans. Revivals are about bringing comfort to those who need it. That’s all the revivals are for.”
He blinked. He blinked again. And again.
It was a mighty struggle to keep more tears from coming down his face, but he couldn’t help it. They came and the pain behind his eyes stung like knives.
“S
he thought she was better,” he croaked out, his tears an immense relief. A heaviness in his heart lifted. He had never, ever talked to anyone about this before. He didn’t know how he had been carrying it around inside, like a stone pressing on him.
“Is that what she said? Really?”
“When we left, Clara said she felt better. That is what she said.”
“She felt better because maybe it was something we offered—a prayer, a song, a clasping of hands—that made her feel ready to go. She sounds like a good, honest soul. I’m sorry she departed this earth, but I rejoice. She knew she was cleansed in love before she went from you.”
Her words pushed the bullet deeper into his shoulder—which he’d thought was close to healed by now. “Your rejoicing means that Goldie has no mother. And I’ve no wife.”
“Mr. Evans, I…”
If he didn’t reach up to wipe away the wetness on his face, he wouldn’t have to acknowledge this all had happened to him. “I think you should leave now.”
The single track of tears that coursed down his face allowed Jay to see how Nettie’s cheeks were wreathed in tears. Still, this moment of mutual crying made him want to hold her in his arms, to bring that floral scent closer to him.
No. That would be wrong—a sin even he could not commit. Now he had done it. He’d ensured she would not be back. Well, maybe it was all for the best. Once she left, he and Goldie would be alone. Besides, it was her fault for making Clara believe she was healed.
Nettie broke their touch, used her gloved hands to wipe the tears from her face and adjusted her hat. “I’m sorry, Mr. Evans.”
“Good night, Miss Nettie.”
She walked to the door and a small blur raced past Jay to grasp at her legs.
“Don’t leave us, Miss Nettie. Come and have supper. Daddy is sorry too.”
“Goldie,” he lowered his tone again, “get out of here. Now.”
Nettie opened the door and walked out, quiet and dignified.
Goldie went to the window and pressed her small face to it, watching Nettie disappear down the hill. “She’s gone now and she won’t come back, Daddy, because you shouted at her.”
A Treasure of Gold Page 7
