“I wasn’t shouting.”
“Yes you were. You were shouting and she hates us now. She’s the only person who cared about me since Mama died and now she is gone. I hate you.”
Goldie ran upstairs to her room and shut the door. Her words pushed that bullet in even deeper. Anything he did just caused pain to the women in his life and Jay was at a loss to fix the problem. He did not know how.
A small voice from somewhere deep inside of him urged him to pray, but he squelched the impulse and pushed it deep down.
Nettie’s plan was to sneak into Ruby and Adam’s front door, profess not to be hungry and go up to the privacy of her room. Nettie wanted to rest so that she would be ready for church tomorrow, even as a dull ache filled the center of her chest and threatened to spread to her head.
However, as she slipped in the door, her niece and nephew greeted her on the front bench in the hallway. Hmmm. She suspected they were standing sentry, ready to tell their mother when Nettie came home. Maisie came right to her and hugged her around her legs where Goldie had just been. Solomon, as an older and wiser child, seemed fearful when he saw her. “What happened to you, Aunt Net?”
“Nothing, Solly. Why?”
“Did that numbers man hurt you?”
“No.” She spoke the truth, but children knew. They always knew.
Solomon took some cautious steps back at first and then ran into the kitchen.
Faster than she could get up the stairs, Ruby was there in an instant, grabbing at Nettie’s wrist, inspecting her. “Did he hurt you? Adam keeps my gun locked up, but I have some other weapons at the ready to finish the job they started on him last week.”
She put a hand to her mouth. “Ruby, such violence is uncalled for.” She swallowed the threat of tears.
“Not when my baby sister comes home with red eyes, hat askew and stained gloves.” Ruby reached up and took off Nettie’s hat, putting it on the bench where her children had been. “He better not have touched you.”
“He didn’t hurt me. If anything, I hurt him. He thinks that I caused his wife’s death.” The tears threatened to start afresh. “I just want to go upstairs and lie down.”
Ruby’s iron grip intensified. “No. It’s time for dinner and talk. Come into the wash closet and wipe your face. Time for family to help you.”
Ruby guided her into the dining room and there they all were again. Her family. People who loved her and meant to be a help in times of stress and strain, but now, she wanted to run from their very presence.
“I’m not hungry. He didn’t hurt me. He thinks that I killed his wife. I would never hurt anyone.” Nettie’s throat filled with tears again at the thought that Jay would believe that she could hurt his wife.
It hurts more because you care for him.
Nettie tried to push away the memory of how she’d thrilled to the way that his chest felt as she helped him get around and to the way that his arm felt underneath her fingertips just now. Take me now, dear Lord. How could she have these terrible bad feelings?
This city, this place made her lose her way. That’s what it was. Her special connection, formed when she was young and ill, was broken.
All because of a man. A policy kingpin. No, a numbers man. A gambler.
“I would never use my gifts to hurt anyone.”
“Net, sit down.” Ruby guided her to a chair at the table and forced her to sit down. “We know all of that. Tell us what happened.”
Nettie took the handkerchief that Asa offered her and told them what just happened. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose. She made a mental note to hand launder Asa’s handkerchief—it was so thoughtful of him to give it to her.
When she was done telling her story in a slow, halting voice, she looked over at Adam who wore a very stern look on his face. He usually didn’t look like that and she was alarmed. “What is it, brother?”
“I can’t betray any confidences, but I was brought in on Clara’s case. I think you were still in school, Ruby, and might not remember but I do.”
“And?” Ruby’s arms were still around Nettie, clearly ready to take up any fighting cause for her baby sister.
“Clara had a very advanced case of wasting disease. There was nothing I could do for her. Mr. Evans opted not to believe me and took her to a white doctor, who told her the same thing that I did. If anything, she did not seek medical treatment when she first started feeling pain. Given what Jay Evans does for a job, I wonder if her delay in seeking medical treatment was due in some part to her unhappiness.”
“Oh, Adam.” Ruby breathed in.
“That’s terrible.” Mags hugged her gigantic stomach.
“To be fair, I don’t know for sure. That’s speculation,” Adam quickly said. “However, as a doctor, I see a lot.”
“Sometimes, Negroes don’t get medical treatment because they think they don’t deserve it.” Asa’s quiet voice gave them some pause.
Asa’s disability with his left leg had come about because of initial lack of treatment, so Adam’s first diagnosis about Clara might not have been correct.
The thought rocked her perspective. Adam was so smart; how could he be wrong? He was a doctor, a Negro doctor when there weren’t that many, even though he had passed as white to get his education up in Michigan. The realization was so large she couldn’t take it all in.
“That’s true,” Adam allowed. There was quiet again. “I still think that Nettie has done enough nannying in this situation.”
“I agree.” Ruby was firm.
“I do too,” Mags said.
“I don’t. Doesn’t anyone care what I think?” Nettie’s voice had steadied. No more tears.
“We do care,” Adam told her gently. “It’s just that young women are very impressionable.”
“What?” Nettie was confused.
“Sister…” Ruby was gentle too, “…you have admitted to me that you have feelings for him.”
“What?” Now it was Mags’s turn to be confused.
Asa straightened in his chair. The countenance of the investigative reporter came over him. She had to put a stop to that.
“No. No. Ruby, you have misunderstood. I care about Goldie, the motherless child who needs love and guidance since her father is busy.”
“Because he’s off gambling.”
“He does not play.” Nettie had come to Jay’s defense, and she could see in their eyes how her defense of him meant to them that she had feelings for him. She couldn’t win.
Nettie lifted her hands and let them drop in her lap. “I’m going upstairs. Thank you for your concern, but I want to be alone just now.”
She knew that no one would conflict with her on that. The time she spent in quiet contemplation was her ace in the hole, and a reason so many felt she had a special connection.
Yes, it was best to go to the special space to see if her special gift had left her.
Despite relaxing and reading the Bible in the quiet of her room, Nettie did not have a special feeling. Maybe it was because she had not been in church last Sunday, even though she had been there nearly every day at the charity kitchen.
Or maybe it was because she was in the city and her connection was in the country. In that case, she would have to go back to Winslow, a choice that had some appeal because she’d get to see her parents again. However, it really didn’t seem to be a place where she was needed. Not anymore. Not when someone needed her here.
Maybe it was because of Jay Evans and the way that his chest had rippled underneath her fingertips. The very thought of touching him, and of seeing his lips move, his bright smile and the way his eyes lit up when he was teasing her—all of those things broke her connection.
She needed to get on her knees, to ask him for forgiveness for these strange feelings she had for a sinful man. She had to be cleansed somehow.
The time to go to church seemed very far away indeed.
Chapter Seven
Nettie had made them a delicious dinner of bean soup, with thick chunks of ham, and cornbread. He had said something to her about not having had cornbread in a long time and how he loved eating it with buttermilk. So she made cornbread. For him.
After they ate, he and Goldie sat there on the couch for a long time and held one another. Before he knew it, Goldie had fallen asleep. It was a bit of a struggle, but his shoulder felt so much better that he carried her upstairs in her overalls, put Goldie in her little room and kissed her forehead.
She had worn herself out crying and Jay’s heart twisted at the white salt tracks on her face. He had put them there. Did Nettie have them too? Or had she forgotten about them already?
He wouldn’t blame her if she had. The things he had said…he needed to be alone in his office to deal with the guilty feelings washing over him. It was almost as if he had been carrying around the pain about Clara for so long he was compelled to share it with someone who’d shown him the least little bit of compassion or caring.
Her words put a new perspective on things. Looking down at the soup beginning to thicken in the pot, his stomach tightened at remembering what she’d said, and thinking he might have been wrong. Jay had been so sure that the brother and sister with the beautiful singing and Nettie formed some type of racket or scam. Scams were a part of his world, and someone like him had to stay on the alert. Jay wouldn’t have survived off of that boat from the West Indies if he hadn’t. It was the way he was brought up.
The thought had never occurred to him that they were comfort bringers.
Jay sat down with another bowl of soup and a chunk of cornbread and began to eat. It was delicious, but his head hurt trying to remember what they had said or done with Clara.
If he were being honest with himself, he couldn’t remember that day so clearly. Maybe there had been no promise to heal. They had prayed with her. Right after, Clara insisted she felt better.
He pushed the bowl away, unable to finish the soup, and went upstairs to bed.
But had a promise been made?
The wound in his shoulder felt better each day, and he was sure that was because he and Goldie were eating better than they ever had—no matter what cook he had hired. Jay was being taken care of—a new sensation. His body had responded to that, and he almost felt ready to lose the sling. He wanted it off since it made him look weak. He would ask the doctor about it tomorrow.
Then he remembered that tomorrow was Sunday, and the doctor would be at church.
So would Nettie.
If he viewed the sanctuary at Freedom Christian as the last place where Clara had obtained comfort before going to her eternal rest—instead of as the place where Clara had been scammed out of her life—then he would take Goldie down there. Jay didn’t know if he could take it, or wanted to go inside, but he knew that his daughter would be okay there. Clara would have wanted that.
Which is what Nettie had said.
So why had he never thought of it that way before?
Since they were serving just pastries at the charity kitchen in the morning, Nettie slept in, glad for the extra rest before having to go down to the church and Sunday school. She wanted to take a little bit of time to think over her plans to establish the school.
The church officials had agreed with her plans but she sought to use some of the preservice time to think about organizing the closet they’d given her for school supplies. Mags was the natural organizer among them—too bad she was indisposed and waiting for her baby to come.
Still, she knew she needed more rest to avoid puffy eyes. When she’d woke up, they were still a little swollen, and she decided to lie on the bed with a compress over her eyelids to reduce the swelling.
She had never felt so helpless or misunderstood. Her instincts failed her. Everything had seemed clear back home. And when she’d traveled all over the United States with Brother Carver and Sister Jane, their mission was vivid. Here, everything was mixed up and cloudy, just like the Pittsburgh weather, and the answers weren’t clear at all anymore.
She lay back down on the bed with the compress on her eyes. She must have dozed off for a minute, because she was jolted awake by the sound of a little fist knocking on the door. It sounded as if Solomon or Maisie needed her. She took the compress off of her eyes and saw the door ease open. Solomon and Goldie stood there in front of her.
“Aunt Net,” Solomon intoned, his gray eyes meeting hers. He had a ring of white sugar around his mouth. So did Goldie. “Goldie says she’s coming to church with us. Her pops just left her here.”
She sat up to look behind the sugar-mouthed children, as if she could see down the stairs. “Is your father still here, Goldie?”
Goldie nodded, licking her fingers free of sugar. Clearly they had been into the doughnuts. “He said he wanted to ask the doctor about his shoulder before you all went to church. When we came, he asked Miss Ruby if I could go with you all, and she said to come up here and ask you.”
She scooted off of the bed, patting her hair. “Of course, honey. That’s fine.” She gave Goldie an absentminded hug as she edged past her, astonished at things could change.
What did this all mean? Did it mean that Jay agreed with her? That Jay was not averse to Goldie coming to church? Would he come too? She was still dressed in her nightgown and could not be seen. If only she had seen fit to dress, she could have gone down and asked him.
But then she thought better of it. She leaned into the doorway, listening. Jay’s deep voice boomed from the hallway; he was clearly about to go out the front door.
“Don’t worry about Goldie,” Adam told Jay. “We’ll take good care of her today. You need to rest so that you can continue to heal.”
“I’m doing well, Doctor, thanks to Nettie’s good cooking. Look,” Jay responded, “you all may not approve of her working for me, but she has made a difference in our lives and I’m grateful. She’s going to start this school at the church. It’s a good thing she’s doing there.”
“Yes, Nettie has a good heart.”
“I want to help her in any way that I can.”
She thrilled to hear the numbers kingpin say that.
Now, if only someone would invite him to come to church.
Ruby said something that she couldn’t hear. She was torn. If she edged any closer to the stop of the staircase, Jay would see her. In her nightgown. But she had to know. She couldn’t help it. She hated that she couldn’t hear what was being said.
“I can come by to pick Goldie up.” Jay tilted his head up. He saw her!
She scrambled back to where the children were, but he had already seen her in the long nightgown and head wrap, with swollen eyes.
“No, we can drop her off at home—you get your rest. We’ll see you later.” Adam let Jay out and she could hear the creak of the heavy wooden front door closing shut.
“Good bye, Little Country.” The deep voice rang out as the front door closed behind Jay.
She gripped at her nightgown, wishing she could say something back, but he was gone.
Since she had scooted back, Adam and Ruby’s ensuing conversation was out of earshot too, but she put an arm around Goldie’s shoulder. “Come on, you can help me get ready.”
“Oh good, I’ve wanted to see your closet for some time now, to see what you might wear that would be better for you.” Goldie headed for the wardrobe in her room with the authority of a grown woman.
“Not with those sticky fingers, you won’t.” She took the girl by the shoulders and turned her around. “Go down to the water closet and wash your hands and face.”
Goldie smiled as Solomon stood there watching her and asking his aunt, “Is Goldie’s Daddy your friend?”
“You wash too.” Nettie shooed him away, and she was sure that her face was as
red as her eyes were.
The ministers at Freedom Christian were pleased to hear more about Nettie’s plans for a school and granted permission for her to use the sanctuary during the week. She planned to let the children have breakfast in the charity kitchen and then take the children up to the sanctuary. They would have Bible lessons, practice some reading out loud, as well as memorize Scripture, and do math problems in their heads.
Since she could play a little piano and sing, there would also be music. When it was over, the children would have an exercise in charity by helping to get the tables ready for lunch in the kitchen in the basement. It was the perfect arrangement and she could barely contain her excitement at the possibilities.
When Sunday school was over, she went up the stairs with Solomon on one side of her and Goldie on the other. Maisie was a little jealous, but she promised her niece a special treat later if she was nice to their visitor. Patience was hard for the four-year-old, she could tell, but Maisie was well-behaved.
Some in the congregation stared and pointed, as Nettie came into the sanctuary with the children, but she preferred to think it was because they were happy to see her after she was missing last week, not because they knew who Goldie was. However, given Goldie’s outgoing personality, she smiled and waved at everyone as if she were a little celebrity.
She whispered to her charge just once and it was enough for Goldie put a lid on that kind of show, thankfully.
She refrained from sitting in the Morson pew, as it was dubbed, and sat with Goldie up front. Solomon was chagrined he had to sit with his family, but when he saw his mother gesturing to him sternly, Solomon knew he had no choice but to obey. The ministers had promised her a minute in the service to talk about her school, and she wanted to be nearby and be able to keep an eye on Goldie at the same time.
She had been up front before, when the revival had come here, but she had a hard time warming up to the vast worship space at Freedom Christian. It would serve her well for her school, but at the same time it lacked the warmth of little First Water back home in Georgia. Still, it was the space where they all worshipped together, so she bent, prayed and sang along with everyone else to make sure Goldie could see how she should behave. Nettie also made sure they read the text of the sermon together.
A Treasure of Gold Page 8
