Cauldrons and Kittens

by R K Dreaming

  But come to think of it, Lucifer had never said where he had been. It was just Percy who had assumed that he’d been hanging around with the rebellious types behind the bike shed.

  “You seem to be having an interesting thought there,” said the headmistress, not sounding happy about this. “Do you plan on sharing it?”

  “Well it’s not my job to be keeping an eye on him,” said Percy petulantly. “If you two would just get along, then I wouldn’t have to worry about him. And he needs a friend, you know. He’s lonely. You know he can’t keep his mouth shut. He’d spill everything in a heartbeat to you, and there would be no reason for me to be a go between.”

  “Centuries,” said Headmistress Glory in a clipped voice. “Centuries I’ve had to put up with him, and I am done with it. I won’t have him dragging me into his messes any longer. I finally have my own life here, and my own things to look forward to, and I won’t have him ruining it. I’ve decided that he is your problem now, and you need to take care of it. In fact, I insist!”

  “And I insist that you do it!” said Percy impertinently. She had promised Nan that she would stay out of it, and she had no intention of breaking her promise.

  The headmistress did not get angry. She said, “Either you’ll do it or he’ll get caught and the Conclave of Magic or the Eldritch Council or the Sentinel alliance will step in and take care of him instead. Is that really what you want?”

  Percy gasped in outrage. The headmistress just waited with an expectant eyebrow raised.

  “You’re heartless,” said Percy bitterly. “You used to be married, for Hell’s sake. Why can’t you two just get along?”

  “Because I’m an angel and he is a demon. We were not made to get along.”

  “You were both fallen angels, and now you’re both mortal humans, so get over yourself!”

  As she stalked to the door, her mood even worse than when she had entered, the headmistress’s voice followed her. “Watch out Persephone or you’ll lose him for good this time. He’s mortal now, remember?”

  8. The Gotcha

  On Friday morning Percy awoke feeling miserable. This had a lot to do with the headmistress’s threat and a little to do with the state of her ankles. When she hobbled down the stairs, she found Jeeves and Mr Bramble both waiting for her anxiously in the kitchen.

  “Look at the state of you!” said Jeeves despairingly.

  “Oh why didn’t you tell me about this yesterday?” nagged Mr Bramble, hurrying over to inspect Percy’s feet. He gave a great cry of dismay at the sight of all the purple bruises and swelling.

  Percy had tried not to show Mr Jeeves what had happened to her, but he had caught on that something was wrong when she had asked him for two ice packs and hobbled up to her room to put them on her feet overnight.

  Now Mr Bramble applied a layer of very smelly paste all over her feet and ankles, and wrapped them in a bandage.

  “What good is that going to do?” Percy complained. “I can’t go to school in that!”

  “You can’t go to school at all!” said Jeeves firmly. “Not with those feet!”

  “Try and stop me,” said Percy.

  Jeeves and Mr Bramble both looked astonished. Percy had spent most of her time this past couple of weeks complaining about having to go to school, and now that she had an excuse not to go, they couldn’t believe she was insisting on it.

  “You just enjoy being contrary,” said Jeeves.

  “I can’t not go,” said Percy. “I’ve got too much stuff to do today.”

  The exact stuff that she was referring to was finding out exactly where Lucifer had been during both of the deaths. Hopefully somewhere with witnesses, so she could gleefully provide this information to Ruthless Glory and wash her hands of the whole situation, like she had promised Nan.

  “Well,” said Mr Bramble hesitantly, “I think you should be able to put your shoes on over the bandage. Is the pain less now?”

  Percy wriggled her toes, and then she rotated her ankles, turning her feet around and around. The pain was much better.

  “Mr Bramble!” she said, throwing her arms around him in a hug. “You are an incredible lifesaver. Did I tell you how much I love you?”

  Mr Bramble blushed fiercely. “You’ll need to reapply it when the numbing herbs wear off,” he said.

  He took a seat to eat the cream and butter laden porridge that Jeeves had made for him. Percy herself indulged in her usual full English breakfast.

  But today, even a hearty breakfast didn’t make her feel cheery. Not with the task ahead of forcing Lucifer to tell her things that would only make him feel resentful.

  The only good news was that the kitten was looking much healthier. When she had finished eating, Percy lifted her up into the light and examined her from various angles. The faint cloud of doom that had stubbornly been lingering all around her had completely vanished overnight.

  Percy tickled her nose and the kitten’s whiskers quivered. So did her little tail, as if in pleasure. She gave a very pleased sounding little meow.

  “You are the world’s luckiest kitten, you are,” said Percy. “I think that’s your name, isn’t it? Lucky kitten? How about we try it out for today, and see how it goes?”

  The kitten scampered off while Percy went to gingerly put on her shoes, then it yowled loudly and dashed madly across the hallway to Percy. It clawed its way up her tights and skirt, and dove head first into her blazer pocket.

  “Mad, you are,” Percy complained, wincing at the fresh scratches.

  The kitten had done this several times every night too, suddenly yowling and diving into Percy’s arms, waking Percy up far more frequently than Percy liked. This had added to the tiredness Percy felt as she made her way to the door with the kitten in her pocket.

  She was surprised to find Nan waiting for her outside, a hand raised as if to knock.

  “I thought we would give you a lift. How are your feet?” Nan said.

  “Better, I think,” said Percy. “Mr Bramble put a paste on them. They don’t hurt much anymore at least.”

  “Oh good,” said Nan, handing Percy a bottle. “But take this anyway. Mum made it for you. She said it will help you heal quicker.”

  Percy pocketed the potion. She thanked Mrs Gooding herself as she climbed into the car.

  “You really must be careful during hockey,” Mrs Gooding chided her. “I remember how horribly hard those sticks were from my own schooldays. And one overenthusiastic swipe is all it takes to get injured!”

  Percy nodded. She doubted sunshiney Mrs Gooding had ever had a vengeful succubus chase her around with a hockey stick. She and Nan looked at each other, and tried not to smile.

  When Percy got into school, she found that she was not the only one who had got out of the wrong side of bed that morning. Lucifer looked like he would rather be anywhere in the world than in his library office. He was laying back on his arm chair, his arm thrown over his eyes, groaning to himself.

  When she let herself in with her key, he gingerly eased himself into an upright position, looking very queasy indeed.

  He took one look at the kitten and groaned even louder. “Not that thing,” he said weakly.

  The kitten scampered over to greet him, climbed a vicious trail up to his knee and perched on it in a very proprietary manner, as if she had decided that Lucifer wasn’t too bad after all.

  Lucifer grimaced, lifted her by the scruff of her neck, and tossed her aside. Luckily she landed on her feet, and went to nose under Lucifer’s desk.

  Percy handed over the supply of kitten formula and the little bottle and a small pouch of kitten food.

  “She still needs feeding,” she said insistently. “And she started eating solids for the first time last night. See if you can get her to eat more of that too.”

  Lucifer groaned in response, closing his eyes again and collapsing back in his chair.

  “Had a little too much fun last night, did you?” she asked.

  He did not bother to re
spond. Percy decided that it was better to leave her questions for now.

  “I need to come and see you at break. Will you be around?”

  Lucifer nodded.

  But when she did come to see him at break there was no sign of him at all, even though she stayed there the whole time playing with the kitten, who had pleased her by making good headway with her dish of solid foods.

  Nor was Lucifer to be found in his office at lunchtime. By this point Percy had begun to suspect that he knew she had questions and he was avoiding her on purpose. Percy was in a foul mood by now, having just left a Magical History class with the Three Bees and Delphine, who had clearly spent some time thinking about how to make Percy’s life more unpleasant.

  Halfway through the lesson, a spit ball had landed in Percy’s hair. Only it had turned out to be a tiny wad of very sticky chewing gum that made her fingertips burn when she tried to pick it out.

  That had been the first of many, it transpiring that Delphine had handed out the packages of gum and straws to all of the students sitting near Percy. Whenever the teacher hadn’t been looking they had unleashed showers of the stuff on Percy.

  It had been a game. Two points for hitting her desk, five points for hitting her back, ten points for her head or hands. Lots of them had hit Nan too, and the barrage had only ended when Nan had discreetly pulled out her wand and whispered something that had made every flying spit ball that was in the air shoot back at whoever it had come from.

  “Miss!” Delphine had shrieked to the teacher. “Nan’s using magic to throw gum at us!”

  “Did she use magic to throw gum at me and at herself too?” Percy had said quickly, pointing to all the gum in her own hair and Nan’s.

  Nan had used this opportunity to conceal her wand back in its hidden pocket, and the teacher had told Delphine off for making a fuss.

  “You wait,” Delphine had hissed venomously as soon as the teacher turned her back. “You just wait! I’m going to make you pay!”

  The Three Bees had giggled at Delphine’s words, and exchanged glances that had made Percy feel uneasy. The four succubae were up to something.

  Nan had spent the first ten minutes of lunch break in the girl’s toilets with Percy, using magic to remove all the gum from their hair and clothes. Then she had irritably told Percy that she needed to go and find Shara, who she had promised to meet.

  Percy had encouraged her to go. It was better if Nan didn’t find out that Percy was still investigating the deaths after having promised to hand the matter over to Octavia and Felix.

  Now Percy paced inside Lucifer’s office, munching her crispy chicken wrap from Jeeves, and reasoning with herself that Lucifer had to come back soon. He had promised to speak with her after all. He’d probably just popped out to get some lunch. All she needed was for him to tell her where he had been, and then she really could wash her hands of it. Because she was certain, absolutely certain, that he could not have had anything to do with the deaths. Surely she would have been able to tell if that had been the case?

  And yet, why was he avoiding her?

  When the bell rang to indicate lunchbreak was over, and Lucifer still hadn’t returned, Percy scribbled an angry note for him, saying that she expected to see him in the office at three o’clock sharp. And that he better be there or else. She left it on his desk.

  When Double Math finished, Nan hurried off to her History lesson. This was Humble History rather than Magical History, which Nan had elected to take and which Percy had no interest in whatsoever. So Percy hurried back to Lucifer’s office on her own.

  Lucifer was not there, however he had left a note taped up on his office door for her. She yanked it off, unfolded it, and read:

  Percy, meet me in Mrs Delancey’s classroom. I found something important. You were right! It wasn’t what it looked like.

  L.D.

  Percy’s heart started racing. So that was what he had been up to all day! He had been investigating the case himself!

  Percy let out a half laugh as she turned towards the library exit. Annoyingly the boy called Arthur was standing in front of it with a friend of his. When Percy tried to get past, he blocked her way. She dodged but he blocked again. This went on for a couple of minutes until she screamed in rage right in his face, making everyone in the library turn around to see.

  He only sneered, and said, “No librarian to save you this time, snitch.”

  But he did finally get out of her way.

  She hurried towards the fifth floor tower. It was just like Lucifer to do something like this without telling her. He’d probably planned to surprise her with his sneaky sleuthing, not giving any consideration at all to the fact that him being missing all day would make her anxious.

  He must have found something important, something to prove that Mrs Delancey’s death was a murder. Maybe even that Frank’s death had been murder.

  She only wished he hadn’t gone off by himself. The last thing she needed was for him to leave evidence that might point directly to himself! It would be just like him to do something so careless too.

  Just as she got to the top of the spiral stairs and turned the corner, she caught sight of Mrs Delancey’s door closing behind someone. Lucifer had just gone in. She hurried after him, taking a nervous look around before she quickly opened the door and let herself in.

  Within, it was dim, the blinds down on all of the windows. The blinds on the door behind her had been drawn down too. Lucifer was eager not to be spotted by anyone.

  Movement near the desk alerted her to where he was. She wanted to switch on the light, but she was worried someone might notice it from outside.

  “What did you find?” she whispered excitedly.

  Lucifer said nothing. He just stood there. Faint light was coming in from the window blinds behind him. Suddenly Percy realized the silhouette was all wrong.

  It was too small.

  Forgetting her concerns about putting the light on, she flicked the switch. It wasn’t Lucifer. It was Delphine.

  “What are you doing here?” she demanded.

  Damn Delphine. And just like that Percy realized Delphine had seen Lucifer’s note. He had left it on the door where anyone could get to it! He was so thoughtless sometimes.

  Percy took a step closer to Delphine. “Were you going to hide under the desk and spy on us?” she taunted. “Is this the clever little plan you hatched to get me in trouble? Not so clever after all. You should have been faster.”

  But Delphine did not look annoyed at the ruination of her plans. She was smirking. She pulled a bottle out of her bag, and took her habitual swig.

  “Stop that!” Percy said sharply.

  The cloud of doom was clinging all around the bottle. It had never been on Delphine’s bottle before, but it was there now. Percy could see it clearly.

  Delphine defiantly took another swig. “You think being a mosshead makes you a rebel,” she snarled, “but you’re pathetic. You’re just a goody two shoes like do-gooder Nanette Gooding!”

  “I’d rather be like her than like you,” Percy retorted. “Where did you get that bottle? Stop it. Stop drinking it!”

  “Cola and a little something to make me merry,” said Delphine. “You should try it sometime. It really takes the edge off.”

  As she lifted the bottle to take another swig, Percy lunged at her, trying to snatch the bottle out of her hand.

  But Delphine was fast and she was strong. She shoved Percy away hard, and Percy fell on the floor, banging her head on a desk as she went down.

  Delphine wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Suddenly she started yelling, “Help me! HELP! She is killing me! Help!”

  Then Delphine screamed like she was being chased by a demon, and she yanked opened the window and she jumped out.

  Percy saw it all as if in a numb sort of slow motion.

  She got up and rushed to grab Delphine but it all felt so slow. By the time she got to the open window it was too late. Delphine was gone.

/>   Percy’s heart thundered as she looked out.

  And there was Delphine, far below on the first floor roof, lying so still and unmoving, the glass bottle that she had been drinking from smashed next to her.

  She thought for a fleeting moment that Delphine would get up and laugh.

  But Delphine did not.

  Percy wanted to scream. She wanted to open her mouth and scream for help, but she was frozen. She couldn’t think. She could only see Delphine. Why wasn’t anyone coming?

  She noticed in a haze that Delphine’s bag strap had snagged against a nail in the window sill. The bag was hanging outside, about to fall after Delphine. Percy lifted it back up in a daze.

  She opened it with shaking hands, her brain still not thinking clearly, but knowing she had to look to see if any of that potion was inside it. The potion that had been tainting Delphine’s soda. Because whatever it was, she needed Nan’s mom to test it. To find out what had happened here. Because somebody had murdered Delphine.

  Somebody had made Delphine jump. It hadn’t been suicide. Delphine had looked so smug as she had done it, as if she was going to fly.

  As Percy reached inside the bag, the door of the classroom burst open behind her, and Bella and Blanche and Barbie all ran in, their camera phones all fixed on Percy.

  They froze on the threshold of the door, as if confused. Their eyes scanned the room, looking for Delphine, and when they saw she was not there they ran towards the window, and saw Delphine lying below.

  Percy saw Bella’s face go white. She turned her wide grey eyes on Percy in shock as if she could not believe it. She looked startled like a baby deer.

  She gasped, “What did you do?”

  And then she screamed and screamed.

  9. The Party Girl

  The three succubae seized Percy and dragged her towards the door, where Headmistress Glory herself had appeared, with several students hard on her heels.