by Paige Toon
I didn’t get much sleep, but I’m on a high despite my incessant yawning. I feel intensely jittery every time I think about Jack. We came so close to going the whole way last night. I wanted to. I would have – he was the one that was restrained.
I’m not seeing him until tonight at Marlin’s, though Agnes drives over in the afternoon to help me get ready.
‘So who’s coming tonight? All the usual suspects?’
‘I think so,’ I reply. ‘I know Sienna’s definitely going to be there, and Margarita and Gina said they’d try to drop in.’
Agnes continues to apply greeny-gold eyeshadow to my lids.
‘I know they’ll never be real friends,’ I say, sighing. ‘But it’s good of them to come, don’t you think?’
‘I suppose so,’ she says blandly, pausing in what she’s doing. ‘It’s a shame Johnny can’t be there. He’s the one the press really want to see.’
‘I know,’ I say sadly. ‘Forget the press. I want him there. But Gramps is coming.’
This is both a blessing and a curse. I’m glad of his support, even if it’s a bit embarrassing to have my grandfather at a gig.
‘My dad’ll be there, too,’ Agnes says.
I perk up. ‘Really? That’s good. Gramps knows Billy so maybe they can hang out together at the bar.’
She casts her eyes to the ceiling. ‘I’m sure they will.’
The green room at Marlin’s is much quieter than the one backstage at San Francisco, but then the band that we’re supporting – Cool Kids – hasn’t arrived yet. In fact, Agnes and I appear to be early. I’m relieved when Jack, Brandon and Miles walk through the door.
Jack comes straight over to me.
‘Hey,’ he says, locking eyes with me as he leans down to give me a kiss.
‘Hey,’ I reply, my heart already jumping at his proximity.
‘You OK?’ he asks.
‘A bit nervous,’ I reply.
‘You’ll be fine,’ he says reassuringly.
After a while, the room begins to fill up. The manager of Marlin’s comes over to introduce herself, and then Ross Whitely, the lead singer of Downtown Pigs and co-owner of the club, walks in. The noise in the room dies abruptly, before gently starting back up again. I’ve seen that sort of thing happen countless times with Johnny.
‘Where’s Miss Jefferson?’ he drawls.
Why can nobody seem to use the Pickerill bit?
His eyes show signs of recognition as he quickly locates me. ‘I just wanted to say hi.’ He comes over to shake my hand and I almost die on the spot. ‘Your dad called me earlier, told me to treat you well.’ He smiles with amusement as I splutter my apologies. ‘Don’t panic, honey, it’s all good. Johnny and I go way back.’ He claps me on my back. ‘Good luck, you’re gonna do great. A few important people here tonight.’
Does he mean people from record labels? Oh my God!
‘Introduce me to your bandmates,’ he says. I quickly come to my senses and do as he asks, but, as soon as he’s left us to it, I pour myself a glass of champagne from the green room bar. I think I’m going to need Dutch courage tonight.
‘You’re really freaking out, aren’t you?’ Jack says later, eyeing me contemplatively. ‘What’s got into you?’
‘I don’t know,’ I say uneasily. ‘I wish my dad was here.’
‘You don’t need him. We’ve practised so much. Just do what you’ve been doing. You’re gonna rock it.’
I flash him a grateful smile. ‘Thanks.’
He grabs my face and kisses my forehead.
‘Damn this red lipstick,’ I mutter.
He grins at me. ‘We’ll make up for it later.’ He leans in close. ‘Anywhere I want, right?’ he asks in a meaningful voice. I quiver, my nerves momentarily forgotten as he pulls back to stare down at me.
‘God, I fancy you,’ I state, looking up at him. He grins. A moment later, it’s time to go on.
I don’t know what I was worried about. The venue is packed to the rafters and the atmosphere is electric. I automatically assumed it was busy because Cool Kids are playing after us, but, to my amazement, a big chunk of the crowd is singing along to our songs. The buzz is incredible.
‘Wow!’ I erupt, as we go offstage. Jack throws his arms round me and Brandon comes and jumps on him from behind.
‘Woo!’ he yelps. ‘Guys, that was awesome! Did you see that crowd?’
Miles joins us, shaking his head, his face split into the biggest grin I’ve ever seen him sporting.
‘Jessie, you rocked it!’ he says, grabbing me for a hug.
‘Nicely done, kids!’ Ross from Downtown Pigs booms, stepping out of the shadows. ‘Come and have a glass of fizz in the green room. I’ll introduce you to Cool Kids.’
After a while, we head back out of the green room into the main part of the club to watch the gig. I find Gramps at the bar.
‘Kiddo!’ he shouts merrily. He’s had a few. More than a few, actually. ‘That was fandabbydozy!’
I laugh as he engulfs me. ‘You want a drink to celebrate?’
‘I’ve already had one.’ Or two. Or three. Who’s counting?
‘I won’t tell if you don’t,’ he says in my ear, flagging down the barman.
I’m missing Johnny less by the minute.
I’m on the biggest high in the next couple of hours. Jack and I go right into the crowd when Cool Kids kick off and I’m so happy to be able to watch a gig without a bodyguard eyeballing me. I’m stunned when a few people ask for my autograph. I can’t quite believe anyone wants it. But, on the whole, no one bothers us and I’m able to hang with Jack and dance to the music.
Gina and Margarita didn’t stay long because they had another party to go to, and Lottie avoided coming at all when she heard Maisie would be here. Brandon and his girlfriend have gone for dinner with Miles and his friend Paul, and Agnes, who was starving, but Sienna and Dana are lurking somewhere. I’m trying to avoid them. I’m not sure if Dana and Gramps ever met, but I don’t want to risk it.
I’ve drunk too much champagne and I need the bathroom, so, once Cool Kids go offstage, I make a dash for the toilets. There’s still an annoyingly large queue and I’m gutted to miss the encore. By the time I return to the emptying dance floor, Cool Kids have well and truly finished their set. I look around for Jack and freeze. He’s with Eve, my All Hype predecessor.
She’s tall and slim with ebony skin and a cool, sleek and shiny boy-cut. I watch, feeling sick, as she hooks her hand round his neck and leans in close to speak in his ear. A moment later, she drops her arm and takes a step backwards, giving him a long, meaningful look before spinning on her heels and striding away. He stares after her, but I can’t see his face from here. I feel sick as I approach him. He turns round and catches my eye, his mouth stretching into a thin line when he sees the bleakness of my expression.
‘What was that about?’ I demand to know.
‘She apologised.’
‘What?’ I’m shocked.
‘For saying what she said about you. She admits you can sing.’
‘Really.’ I’m not sure I believe she means it.
‘Really.’ He stares at me pointedly. He shakes his head and clasps my face, planting a kiss directly on my lips.
I smirk as he pulls away. I applied fresh lipstick in the bathroom.
‘Fuck,’ he mutters, wiping his mouth on the sleeve of his denim shirt and grinning at me. My heart flips.
‘There you are!’ Sienna interrupts us suddenly, throwing her arms round our neck.
‘Hey,’ I say, looking for Dana. Yep, she’s here, alright.
‘You guys were great,’ Dana says, smiling at us as Jack pulls me close. ‘Are you hanging here for a bit?’
‘I think so.’ A DJ has started playing and people are already moving back onto the dance floor.
‘We’ve got a table in the VIP area. Come grab a drink if you like.’
I glance at Sienna to see her eyebrows raised hopefully.
What the
hell, my feet are killing me.
I don’t know where Gramps is. He was up at the bar the last time I looked, sinking shots with Billy Mitchell.
He’s such a badass.
Dana tells her friends to make room for us so we can sit down. Someone passes us champagne and we chink glasses. ‘To music,’ Dana says.
‘To music,’ we all agree.
I’m feeling pretty light-headed, but I’m so content. I turn to Jack. He still has a smudge of red at the corner of his lip. I brush it away, smiling.
‘Aw, you guys make such a cute couple,’ Dana says, nudging her sister. ‘Don’t they, Sie?’
Sienna nods as Dana sits back in her seat, eyeing us. She points at Jack. ‘You’re like a mini Johnny Jefferson. And you’re a mini Meg,’ she says to me with a smirk before Jack can comment.
‘Meg?’ I ask with a frown.
‘All sweet and innocent,’ she states with a nonchalant shrug.
‘I’m not sweet and innocent.’
She looks entertained. ‘Sure you are.’
‘I’m not,’ I reply, bristling.
‘If you say so,’ she says genially. ‘Hey, let me introduce you to my friends.’
After a while, I turn to Jack. ‘I should probably go and check on Gramps.’
He nods. ‘I’ll come with you.’
‘Leaving so soon?’ Dana asks, as we get up, abruptly cutting off the conversation she was having.
‘I want to check on my granddad,’ I tell her.
She grins. ‘You are just as cute as pie.’
I grimace, but I don’t respond. A couple of her friends snigger.
‘What?’ she rounds on them. ‘She is cute! I’m not being a dick about it.’
I start to walk away.
‘Come back soon!’ she calls after us.
‘I don’t know what to make of that one,’ I say to Jack.
‘She’s a bit weird,’ he comments.
We find Gramps with Billy and Marlin’s co-owner, Ross, at the bar. A cheer goes up as about ten people sink a shot of God knows what.
‘Kiddo!’ Gramps shouts, spying me. ‘You want one?’
I glance at Jack. Gramps is such a far cry from my dad. Jack shrugs.
‘Sure, why not?’ I reply.
Ross pulls a face and pats me on the back. ‘Sorry, kids, but you can’t. You’re underage.’
But we were drinking in the green room! Hmm, out of sight of the other punters, I presume.
‘Oh, you’re no fun at all,’ Gramps complains. ‘Where else can we go?’ he asks buoyantly, looking around.
‘Back to mine?’ Billy suggests, swaying slightly.
‘House party! Hell, yeah!’ Gramps cries.
‘Christ,’ Jack mutters, regarding me with a mixture of alarm and amusement.
‘Come on, it’ll be fun,’ I urge.
‘I gotta pee. You OK here?’
I nod and turn back to Gramps, but, a moment later, a hand clamps round my wrist and pulls me backwards. I swing round and come face to face with Eve.
‘Oh,’ I say. ‘Hello.’
‘I just wanted to give you a warning,’ she says, her dark eyes flashing as she glares at me from a height, being several inches taller. ‘I see you looking at him with those puppy-dog eyes and I feel sick.’
I can almost hear my heart thumping.
‘I feel sick for you,’ she clarifies bluntly. ‘I looked at him like that. I loved him. Yeah, I did,’ she says firmly when my mouth drops open. ‘He’s a bastard. A player. You should get away from him while you can.’
‘I feel sorry for you,’ I say, staring defiantly at her.
She snorts and shakes her head. ‘I am telling you…’ She points her finger right at my face, jabbing it at me. ‘You have got it coming.’
‘Back off, bitch.’ Dana appears from out of nowhere and gets right up in Eve’s face. Eve looks stunned as she takes a few steps backwards. ‘I said back off!’ Dana keeps walking towards her. She’s tiny compared to Eve, but she’s clearly a force to be reckoned with.
Eve rolls her eyes and casts me one last look over her shoulder before stalking off. I realise I’m shaking.
‘You alright?’ Dana looks grim. ‘I could see her from across the bar.’
‘I’m fine. Thanks,’ I think to add.
‘What was her problem?’
‘She’s Jack’s ex.’
‘Aah,’ she says knowingly. Her face breaks out into a grin. ‘Jealousy makes us crazy. I should know.’ She laughs.
‘Who’s this, then?’ Gramps asks, stumbling over. I tense up.
‘Hey, I’m Dana,’ Dana says, offering her hand.
Gramps’s brow furrows as though he’s trying to recall a long-lost memory. He must’ve seen pictures of Dana, even if they never met. But his face shows no signs of recognition and I relax slightly as he shakes her hand. ‘Brian. Are you coming?’
‘No, Gramps,’ I interject.
‘Where?’ Dana asks.
‘Back to Billy Mitchell’s house.’ Gramps roughly shakes Billy’s shoulder.
‘House party?’ Dana’s eyes light up. ‘Damn, yeah, I’m up for that. I’ll go get my friends.’
My heart sinks as I watch her departing back.
‘All set?’ Jack asks when he returns. I give him a black look. ‘What? What have I missed?’
I have no idea how late it is, but I am having the Best Time Of My Life! This party is so much fun. Sooooo much fun. I’m completely blathered and nobody gives a shit. None of the adults bat an eyelid when I help myself to vodka. They’re all completely irresponsible and I love it! Gramps has fallen asleep on the sofa and some girl has kissed him all over his face with bright pink lipstick. It is so funny. He’s going to crack up later. Jack is off somewhere with his dad, I think, and I’m here with Sienna and she’s laughing at her sister and Dana is so much fun and I really like her and I have no idea what the big deal was about me meeting her. She’s really funny! And so cool and talented, and Johnny, you’re such a lame-ass for getting so worked up about it. Yeah, I do want a drag of that guy’s cigarette! I haven’t smoked in ages. Wow, it goes straight to my head! I’d forgotten this feeling.
‘Can I keep it?’ I ask him.
He shrugs and nods.
‘I got it wrong!’ Dana shouts at me over the music.
‘What did you get wrong?’ I shout back.
She gets up and climbs over the table, edging in between me and the guy sitting next to me. She flops back against the sofa.
‘You’re not sweet and innocent,’ she says in my ear.
‘I told you!’ I reply, giggling.
‘I expected you to be so boring, but you’re fun. You’re a good-time girl,’ she says teasingly. ‘A real little party animal.’
‘Yep. That’s me.’
‘Can I?’ she asks. I hand over the cigarette and she takes a long drag, blowing out several smoke rings.
‘That is so cool!’ I effuse. ‘Can you teach me how to do that?’
She shrugs. ‘Sure.’
I’m laughing my head off so much after a minute. I’ll never get it.
‘You’re hilarious,’ Dana pronounces.
I’m still laughing as she takes my cigarette and leans forward to stub it out in an ashtray.
‘Where’s Sienna?’ I ask.
‘She and Abe have gone somewhere.’
‘Who’s Abe?’ I ask.
‘My friend. He really likes her.’
‘Who? That singer-songwriter guy?’ I ask with confusion. Dana introduced me to him earlier.
‘That’s the one.’
‘Isn’t he a bit old?’
She shrugs. ‘Sie can handle herself.’
I have a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach, but it doesn’t sit well with the rest of the buzz I’m experiencing so I try to ignore it.
‘Where are you gonna get this tattoo of yours?’ Dana asks with a grin, turning to face me.
‘I don’t know,’ I say, lifting my arm up. It f
eels kind of floppy. ‘I was thinking here.’ I point to my bicep.
She wrinkles her nose.
‘Why? Where would you get it done?’ I ask her.
She scrutinises me for a moment and then drags one fingertip down the side of my body, skimming the skin south of my crop top. She does it so quickly I don’t have time to squeal about being ticklish and then she’s prodding my hipbone. ‘I’d go here. You’re young, you don’t want anything too visible for your first.’
‘I can’t get a tattoo until I’m eighteen, anyway,’ I say.
She grins at me. ‘Is that what he told you?’
‘Who? My dad?’ I shake my head. ‘He doesn’t want me to get one at all.’
‘Bullshit,’ she says with a smirk, shaking her head. ‘Johnny loves ink. He’s just saying that because that’s what he thinks he should say. He’d totally dig your noughts and crosses idea.’
‘You reckon?’ I ask her dubiously.
‘Definitely. He got two tats when we were together. Oh my God!’ She sits up suddenly. ‘Rick! Rick!’ she calls across the room, cupping her hands round her mouth. ‘RICK!’
A big, heavily tattooed rocker dude in a grey vest with long, stringy brown hair looks over. Dana beckons to him enthusiastically.
‘Rick did Johnny’s bird, the one on his left shoulder,’ she says in a hasty aside to me, grinning brightly as Rick joins us. ‘How was Jamaica, dude?’ she asks, getting to her feet and throwing her arms round his neck.
‘Sick,’ he replies, smiling down at her.
‘When did you get back? Man, it’s been killing me that you’ve been gone so long!’
‘Last week.’
‘Please tell me you’ve got your kit here,’ she implores.
He nods. ‘Always.’
‘Can you do me those tiny butterflies that we talked about?’ she asks eagerly.
‘On your shoulder blade, right?’ He raises one eyebrow.
‘Exactly!’ she says.
He nods once and she beams at me. ‘You wanna come watch?’
I hesitate. Where’s Jack? Where’s Sienna? Gramps is right here, but he’s snoring. I purse my lips and shrug. ‘Sure. May as well see what I’m letting myself in for.’
