by Paige Toon
‘Dana’s here,’ I explain nervously. ‘She wanted to say hi.’
‘Hi,’ Jack and Drew say simultaneously, as Dana slides into the booth next to Drew. I guess we’re sitting down, then.
‘Hey, guys. You DJ-ing tonight?’ she asks Drew amiably. I remember that they met last weekend at the club.
Sienna sits down next to her sister. She looks happy.
I really need to relax. My friend is just trying to show me that her sister is OK. And maybe she is. I pick up the beer Drew bought me and take a large gulp.
Half an hour later and Dana is still with us. We’ve heard all about the plans for her comeback tour, and she seems genuinely thrilled for us that we’ve got a gig at Marlin’s.
‘I like your ink, dude,’ she says to Jack, reaching across to take his arm. She brings it closer to her face, studying his POW! tattoo. ‘Is this your only one?’
She releases his arm and he fiddles with the leather straps around his wrist to reveal his tattooed bracelet.
‘Nice,’ she says, pulling the neckline of her sheer gold top down to reveal a tattoo of angel wings just below her collarbone. ‘I got this done before Christmas.’
‘Cool,’ Drew says, leaning in to study it.
‘Ironic,’ she replies, smirking at him before studying his tattoos in turn. ‘Where do you go?’ she asks.
I give Jack a sideways look as they start talking tattoo parlours among themselves.
Eventually she returns her attention to Jack. ‘What are you planning on getting done next?’ she asks.
‘Er, I’m thinking about getting some soundwaves done on the back of my neck,’ he tells her, rubbing the spot accordingly.
‘Really?’ I ask him in surprise.
He looks at me from out of the corner of his eye.
‘Have you got any ink?’ Dana asks me suddenly.
I shake my head. ‘Not yet.’
‘Johnny won’t let her,’ Sienna reveals with a grin and I wince at the sound of my dad’s name being brought into the conversation.
Dana laughs wryly. ‘Really?’ She raises one dark eyebrow. ‘That’s rich, coming from him.’ She smirks at me and I stiffen at her overfamiliar comment, but try not to let it show.
I shrug and force a smile. ‘Tell me about it.’
‘What would you get done?’ she asks.
I glance at Jack, remembering the time he drew a couple of tattoos on me. We ended up snogging each other senseless.
‘I was thinking about noughts and crosses,’ I reply eventually. ‘My mum used to play it with me when I was a kid. She always let me win.’
I suddenly feel tainted. I didn’t want to share something so personal with her, but my revelation came out without me thinking.
Dana nods. ‘That sounds really cool.’ She reaches across the table and gives my hand a quick squeeze. I look down in surprise. Her fingernails are short and blunt and painted blood-red. ‘I’m sorry about your mom, chick. I just wanted to say that.’
I’m caught off guard as she lets me go. It occurs to me that she used the same term of affection that my dad uses. ‘Well, guess I should get back to my friends,’ she says, as I remember with unease how much else she and Johnny used to have in common. ‘It was nice meeting you.’ Sienna stands up to let her out. ‘Maybe see you around.’ She looks at each of us sitting at the table, but her eyes rest on me.
‘Bye,’ I say, trying to shake off my bad feeling as I wonder what’s going through that mind of hers.
Chapter 23
‘Dana’s coming to your gig at Marlin’s. I’m sorry!’ Sienna cries before I can say anything. ‘I didn’t tell her to get tickets – she just got them after you guys told her about it on Saturday night. She’s bringing a bunch of her muso friends.’
‘It’s OK,’ I reply with a sigh. It’s Wednesday afternoon and we’re at school, on our way to first period. Sienna accosted me as I was slamming my locker. ‘Johnny’s not even going,’ I tell her. ‘I need to chill out about it, so honestly don’t worry.’
I’d completely forgotten, but, when Brandon lined up the Marlin’s gig, it was for the same weekend that Johnny is launching his new album in New York. I’m gutted to be missing such a momentous occasion, but there was no way I could let my bandmates down by backing out. Johnny understood. He, Meg and the boys are flying to New York on Friday, straight after Barney finishes school. Gramps is coming to look after me. Yes!
‘Did you like her?’ Sienna asks of her sister, her face contorting into a hopeful expression.
I nod. ‘I did, actually.’
She beams at me and links her arm through mine. ‘I told you! She’s cool, isn’t she? I can’t believe how much we’ve been hanging out. She’s so nice to me now!’ she gushes.
‘I’m really happy for you,’ I say, trying to keep a straight face at her enthusiasm as we reach our classroom.
Brandon and Miles were disappointed that Johnny wouldn’t be at our Marlin’s gig, but Jack seemed disappointed only for me.
Butterflies fill my stomach at the memory of us in his car on the way home on Saturday night. We pulled up and climbed into the back seat. Things got pretty heated. The windows were still fogged up when Lewis buzzed us in through the gates. I hope he didn’t notice.
I sigh again. I’ve got it so bad.
My dad wasn’t thrilled when he found out that Jack had driven me home, but he let it go. Thankfully he didn’t discover that we’d gone to a club – or that Dana had been there. I’m sure I would have been in for it if he had.
But I don’t regret anything. I loved being able to act like an ordinary girl again. It’s addictive.
On Friday afternoon, I stand and wave off my family with a lump in my throat. I’m gutted to miss my dad’s launch party. It would’ve been fun, and I had a genuine reason to celebrate because I’m singing on one track on the album. But it can’t be helped. I’ll see them all on Sunday night. Right now, I need to focus on the band.
‘Righto!’ Gramps exclaims, clapping his hands together as we return inside. ‘Let’s get this party started!’
I laugh at him.
‘Where’s the vodka?’ he asks. ‘Got any ciggies?’
‘I don’t smoke any more,’ I tell him.
‘You don’t smoke any more?’ he asks, aghast. ‘When did you smoke in the first place, you bleedin’ idiot? Don’t you know it’s a filthy habit?’
I roll my eyes at his teasing. To my surprise, he pulls a packet of fags out of his back pocket. ‘Gramps!’ I berate.
‘I’ll be outside,’ he says with a cheeky grin.
He’s such a bad influence, I think with amusement. But hopefully, between the two of us, we’ll be able to convince Johnny and Meg that he’s capable of being my guardian while they’re away on tour. He might not be the best of role models, but he’s good company, and most of the staff will be here, too. Annie and Eddie are going on tour, though I heard Annie talking to Meg about bringing in a temporary cook while they’re away. I know they’re seriously considering letting me stay here with Gramps. Score!
Eddie has done tacos for dinner and, as we sit in the kitchen and tuck in, Gramps wants to know all about tomorrow’s gig. I fill him in.
‘It’s going to be fab. I’m looking forward to it,’ he says.
‘Are you coming?’ I ask with surprise.
‘Of course I am!’ He frowns at me. ‘I can still rock a mosh pit.’
I try not to laugh.
‘How are things going with Billy Mitchell’s kid?’ he asks, taking a sip of his whisky and Coke. I’m just drinking Coke, but I can smell the alcohol from here.
‘Good,’ I reply with a smile. ‘Better than good.’
‘Is it love?’ he asks wryly, and I can’t tell if he’s taking the mickey or not.
‘Might be,’ I reply with a smirk.
‘So what’s going to happen if you screw it all up, hey?’
‘Christ, Gramps, in with the direct question!’
He shrugs, shaking
back his wispy greying hair. ‘I’m curious.’
‘Well, I’m hoping we won’t split up. I really like him—’
‘And the feeling’s mutual, is it?’
‘Yes,’ I state, surer about this now than I’ve ever been.
‘That’s nice,’ he says amiably, taking a bite of his taco and crunching away. ‘You’ll be OK in any case,’ he declares, reaching for his drink and taking a large gulp.
‘What do you mean by that?’
He shrugs again. ‘When you split up,’ he says.
‘Well, yeah, sure, I mean, if we split up, I probably will be OK. People get over broken hearts all the time, don’t they?’
‘I’m not talking about your broken heart.’ He waves that comment away dismissively. ‘I’m talking about your music career. You’ll be OK. You’re Johnny Jefferson’s daughter. You’ll be able to go solo. You don’t need a band.’
‘But I like being in a band,’ I say, my heart squeezing at the idea of standing up on a stage alone without Brandon, Jack and Miles around me.
‘Your dad said that, too, but look at him now. He didn’t want to split up with his band,’ Gramps confides. ‘He loved those guys, but it wasn’t meant to be. When you’re on your own, you get to call the shots. You don’t have to bow down to anyone. I think he found that liberating.’
‘Do you think he ever misses being in Fence, though?’ I ask thoughtfully.
Gramps looks nonplussed. ‘He had to make the best of what happened.’
That didn’t exactly answer my question.
‘Yeah, I think he misses those boys sometimes,’ Gramps says when I prod him for a proper answer. ‘I heard Finch and Lennie were talking about getting everyone back together for a reunion tour a couple of years ago. Johnny vetoed it.’
‘Really?’ I never knew that. Finch was Fence’s bass guitarist and Lennie the drummer.
‘Yeah. A decade is a lot of water under the bridge, but some things should be laid to rest.’
‘Well, if All Hype get a record deal, we wouldn’t have any choice but to stay together. We couldn’t breach our contract.’
‘True,’ Gramps says. ‘That’s what happened with Johnny. Thoroughly fucked him up, it did. Whoops, shouldn’t swear,’ he says as an afterthought.
‘Forget it.’ I purse my lips. ‘Go on,’ I say encouragingly.
‘He needed a break, but they had to keep going. Drove them apart, it did. Then Johnny went off the rails. Dark times.’ He shakes his head, remembering. ‘Dark times. Been through a lot, my boy. Glad to see him settled now.’
I smile. ‘Me too.’
Jack and Agnes come over to hang out that night and I notice how much more relaxed Jack is in Gramps’s company than he is with my dad. We sit in the living room, chatting and watching TV. When Gramps and Jack go outside to have a smoke, Agnes turns to me.
‘I’ve booked my ticket,’ she says, her eyes bright with excitement.
‘To Australia?’ I ask, sitting bolt upright. ‘Was Tim OK with that?’
‘Mum booked it for me! Tim wanted to take her away to the Caribbean, anyway, so he doesn’t really care what I’ll be getting up to. I leave in a week!’
‘That’s amazing! I bet you can’t wait to see him.’
She flops back on her seat and fans her face. ‘That is the understatement of the year.’ She shakes her head. ‘Oh, to be in his arms again,’ she says melodramatically. She casts me a look. ‘You and Jack seem to be—’ Her voice trails off. ‘Closer?’
She gives me a knowing look, but at that point Jack and Gramps come back inside. ‘Who’s for a drink?’ Gramps asks, setting off in the direction of the kitchen.
‘I can’t, I’m driving,’ Jack calls after him.
‘What?’ Gramps halts in his tracks and turns round to gape at him. ‘What did you have to go and drive for? Doesn’t the great Billy Mitchell have a Davey?’
‘No, he doesn’t, actually,’ Jack replies. ‘Anyway, we don’t live with our dad.’
‘Shame,’ Gramps says, heading into the kitchen. ‘He was a lot of fun, that one,’ he calls over his shoulder.
I glance at Agnes, but she appears to be taking the comment in good humour. She certainly didn’t find it funny when her ‘fun’ rock-star dad was cheating on her mum.
‘Why don’t you lot stay over?’ Gramps suggests, returning to the coffee table with the bottle of whisky he bought at Duty Free. Johnny doesn’t tend to keep alcohol in the house. ‘We’ve got spare beds. Don’t we, Jessie? Why would we want to end this party before it’s even started?’
Jack and Agnes look at each other and then at me.
Jack staying overnight here? Johnny would not approve. But is anyone going to tell him?
An hour later, Gramps has crashed out on the sofa and is snoring heavily. Agnes giggles.
‘I think he might’ve been a bigger party animal in his heyday,’ she says. ‘Do you really think it’s OK for us to stay? We could call a taxi.’
‘No, stay,’ I urge, steadily avoiding Jack’s eyes as I experience a pang of guilt.
‘I’m gonna have to hit the sack soon,’ she warns, yawning.
‘Let me show you where your room is.’
Gramps is staying in one of the spare rooms and the other has a super-king-size bed in it, but neither Agnes nor Jack seem thrilled about the idea of sharing.
‘One of you could always crash in Barney’s room,’ I say edgily.
‘Who are you trying to kid?’ Agnes says, shoving her brother’s arm. ‘You’ll be in with Jessie as soon as the lights are off.’
Jack’s cheeks redden, and mine do, too. I’m pretty sure the same thought had occurred to us both.
While Agnes gets ready for bed, Jack and I go downstairs to try to rouse Gramps from sleep. He grumbles and groans, but we manage to get him to stumble his way upstairs and into his bedroom. I remove his shoes and Jack turns down the covers, but we don’t attempt to take off his T-shirt and jeans.
‘He’s a lotta fun,’ Jack whispers, as we leave his room.
I grin. ‘He is, isn’t he? Night, Agnes!’ I call, as we pass her room.
‘Night!’ she calls back. ‘Don’t let the bed bugs bite!’
I nervously lead the way to my bedroom. Jack follows me inside and I push the door shut.
‘I’m going to get ready for bed,’ I tell him, walking into the bathroom. He leans against the door frame, watching me as I brush my teeth.
‘Can I borrow that after you?’ he asks.
I rinse and spit before looking up at him. ‘We’ve probably got a spare around here somewhere.’
‘I don’t mind if you don’t,’ he says, holding his hand out for the brush.
‘I don’t mind,’ I say with a small smile, passing it over.
He stares at me with amusement in the reflection of the mirror as he brushes his own teeth.
It’s so strange having him here in my bedroom, in my bathroom. I know I’d love it if I didn’t feel quite so guilty. I force myself out of the room to go and find my PJs.
We’ve been so intimate already, but I feel bizarrely uncomfortable about getting undressed in front of him, so, when he’s brushed his teeth, we exchange places and I shut the door to finish getting ready. I come out of the bathroom to find him already under the covers of my bed.
I feel skittish as I slide in beside him. He opens up his arms to me and I notice he’s undressed to his boxers.
‘This is weird,’ I say in a low voice. ‘I’m supposed to be proving to my dad that he can trust me while he’s away on tour. I feel bad.’
Jack tenses. ‘Do you want me to sleep in Barney’s room?’ he asks. ‘I can.’
‘I don’t feel that bad,’ I exclaim. ‘Jesus.’
He laughs softly. I reach behind me and turn off the light, then snuggle up against him.
We lie there in the dark, neither of us making a move on the other. Maybe the guilt is getting to him, too.
‘I bet your dad has security cameras hooked
up somewhere,’ he whispers.
‘God, can you imagine?’ I whisper back.
‘What if Gramps wakes up in the morning and freaks out?’ he asks. ‘He was pretty drunk when he suggested we stay here.’
‘He did suggest it, though,’ I reason. ‘He invited you to sleep over.’
‘Yeah, in your spare room.’
‘I don’t think he thought that through. My dad and Meg used to have more guest rooms, but then they had Barney and Phoenix – and I came along. He probably forgot there are just two rooms now.’
‘Mmm,’ Jack replies.
‘Maybe we should try to sleep,’ I say reluctantly.
‘Mmm,’ he says again.
We fall silent.
My hand is resting on his chest and I stroke my thumb back and forth, wondering how I’ll ever be able to nod off when I feel this jittery. I run my fingertips across his chest and up to his neck, tracing along his jaw.
‘God,’ he says in a strangled voice, his hands coming to life on my body. He draws me on top of him as his lips crash against my mouth. I can feel him beneath me and I know he’s as turned on as I am.
‘I want you so much,’ he says in a low, urgent voice.
‘I want you, too,’ I reply, gasping as he rocks me against him.
‘But we can’t. Not here, tonight. It doesn’t feel right.’
‘I know,’ he says dully, kissing me on my lips and then sighing against my mouth.
I turn my face away. ‘I bet you wish I was more experienced.’
‘Are you kidding me?’ he asks with disbelief. ‘Your lack of experience is one of the biggest turn-ons in the world to me.’
‘It is?’ I ask with surprise.
He nods his head in the darkness, pushing his hand through my hair. ‘I’m so into you, Jessie. Can’t you tell?’ he asks quietly.
My stomach flutters. A moment later, I lean down to kiss him.
Chapter 24
Jack and Agnes leave the next morning before Gramps even rolls out of bed. Incredibly, the old codger doesn’t mention my friends when he finally makes it downstairs for what we should probably call lunch, so it’s just as well they made themselves scarce. Maybe he really did only ask them because alcohol had loosened his tongue. He seems to have forgotten all about the invitation now in any case. No harm done, I hope…
