by Paige Toon
I’m at his house for Saturday afternoon band practice. This week has been even more mental than usual. I did my written driving test – and passed! – so now I have a provisional driving licence. I still need to do fifty hours of supervised driving before I can take my road test, so it doesn’t look like I’ll be able to do that before the summer. But I’ll still be able to drive before everyone else in my year back home.
Because I didn’t do any of my homework at the weekend, I’ve had to play catch-up every night after school. I had to cancel another week of singing and keyboard lessons, and I haven’t done anywhere near enough of my GCSE prep, but the one thing I’ve refused to sacrifice is band practice.
Not that Brandon and Miles appear to appreciate my dedication.
OK, so I might be snogging their bandmate at every opportunity, but come on, a girl’s gotta have priorities. I’ve only been allowed one measly hour here on Tuesday and Thursday.
Today I’m on a high, though. It’s Saturday and I get to spend all evening with Jack because his mum asked me to have dinner with the family.
Even Johnny seemed a little taken aback by the invitation.
‘It’s getting serious, then?’
I shrugged. ‘I guess so. More serious than it was, in any case,’ I added, not wanting him to jump to any conclusions, however correct they may be.
‘Do I need to remind you to be careful?’ he asked.
‘No!’ I squawked.
Luckily he didn’t give me a lecture.
‘What sort of business?’ Jack asks, bringing my attention back to Brandon, who’s just returned to the games room after taking a phone call.
He holds said phone aloft.
‘That was the manager of Marlin’s.’ His eyes are bright with excitement. ‘They want us to do a gig there next Saturday.’
Jack is on his feet in an instant.
‘You are kidding me?’ Miles gasps.
Marlin’s is owned by two members of nineties rock supergroup Downtown Pigs and it opened last summer in town. So far, the club has made a bit of a name for itself by allowing unsigned bands to support headline artists on Saturday nights. Rumour has it that a couple of bands were recently offered record deals purely off the back of their Marlin’s gig. A&R music talent scouts regularly hang out there.
I knew Brandon had been speaking to Marlin’s about trying to line something up, but this has come much quicker than any of us expected.
‘Who are we supporting?’ I ask, sitting up in anticipation.
Brandon grins. ‘Cool Kids.’
Did that squeal come from me? ‘No way! I love their music!’
‘How many songs do they want us to play?’ Miles asks.
‘Six,’ Brandon replies. ‘So we can keep the same set as San Francisco, but just add one more.’
‘“Fan Club Riot?”’ Jack suggests. It’s a new song that I had a hand in writing so I love the idea.
Brandon nods thoughtfully. ‘Sounds good, but we’re still gonna need to practise, so no bunking off.’
I hold up my palms. ‘I’m in. If you want more of me this week, I’ll cancel some stuff.’
‘Do it,’ Brandon states. ‘Let’s get to work straight away,’ he adds.
We don’t need telling twice.
I was hoping to have a little downtime with Jack before dinner, but our rehearsals run into the evening. Eventually Agnes comes to find us.
‘Mom wants to know how much longer you’re gonna be?’
A flurry of nerves goes through me.
‘Sorry, dudes, we’d better call it quits for the night,’ Jack apologises, lifting his strap over his head and going to hang his guitar on the wall.
I rub the back of my neck. My feet are aching from standing so long. Miles reaches for a towel hanging over his drum kit and dries the sweat on his forehead. Even Brandon looks knackered.
‘Monday after school?’ he asks.
I nod. ‘Yep, I’ll tell Harry.’ I don’t really want to cancel my music teacher again – especially in the run-up to a gig. He’s built up my confidence so much, and really helped my vocals, but it can’t be avoided.
Agnes sidles up to me. ‘You ready to meet Tim?’
I narrow my eyes at her. For me, this dinner was about impressing her mum, so the fact that she’s mentioning her stepdad makes me nervous.
‘I guess so.’ It’s a bit strange that I haven’t met him already, but he always seems to be working. ‘Should I be worried?’ I ask.
Jack comes over and throws his arm round my shoulders. ‘Don’t freak her out,’ he warns Agnes.
OK, now I’m freaked out.
‘So, Jessie, what are your plans for the future?’
I stare across the table and into the steely blue eyes of Tim Walkington Junior – aka Stepdad Number Two. Jack’s mum and Tim have been together for over four years. He ‘looks after her’, apparently. He’s also extremely wealthy.
‘Well, I… I’m hoping it takes off with the band,’ I admit, already sensing this will be the wrong answer.
He snorts. Beside me, Jack stiffens. ‘You kids,’ he chides patronisingly. ‘You all want to be the next Johnny Jefferson – am I right?’
I open my mouth to speak, but he cuts me off, shaking his head as he speaks. ‘Living in dreamland.’
‘Tim,’ Jack’s mother says quietly, but her tone lacks conviction.
Tim sits back in his seat and eyeballs me. ‘We’re just having a conversation, Lucille.’
‘Dinner will be served soon,’ she says apologetically, flashing me a shaky smile before glancing towards the kitchen.
Agnes looks distinctly uncomfortable as she takes a sip of her water and, beside me, Jack is tense as his eyes fix on his stepdad. Tim ignores him.
He’s probably in his late fifties and is tall and tanned with silver-grey hair. He’s wearing a smart white shirt over grey trousers and looks like the sort of man who would rarely be seen out of a suit. He reminds me of Johnny’s solicitor, Wendel Rosgrove. He was daunting as well.
‘So…’ His voice trails off and he raises one eyebrow at me. ‘Music.’
I nod, trying to locate my confidence. I didn’t let Wendel bully me when Stu first contacted him about Johnny being my dad, so I’m not going to let this guy get to me, either. ‘It’s what I’m passionate about,’ I state.
‘Hmm.’ He sneers. ‘If we all went around doing only what we were passionate about, we wouldn’t be very successful.’
‘We’d be a hell of a lot happier, though,’ Jack butts in.
‘Well said, darling,’ Lucille murmurs, reaching across the table to pat her son’s hand.
Tim glares at Jack. ‘And are you happy? Working in a shop?’
Jack shrugs. ‘Yeah, as a matter of fact, I am. It suits me for what I’m doing.’
‘Which is what, exactly?’
‘We’ve had this talk before,’ Jack states. ‘You can’t bully me into going to college. It’s not gonna happen.’
‘Are you planning on going to college?’ Tim asks me, barely batting an eyelid at Jack.
‘I’m not sure yet. I’m trying to keep my options open,’ I reply.
‘It helps when your father is a multimillionaire,’ he says sardonically. ‘Doesn’t it, Jack?’
‘My dad’s not a multimillionaire,’ Jack replies.
‘I wasn’t talking about Billy,’ Tim says with distaste.
‘You’re not my dad,’ Jack says in a low voice.
Thankfully the kitchen doors swing open and the cook comes out with our meal.
‘Why didn’t you tell me what he was like?’ I ask, as soon as we’ve managed to get out of there. We’re in Jack’s car and he’s driving me home. I haven’t told Johnny. If he has a problem with my boyfriend driving me home rather than Sam or Davey, I’ll deal with it later. I need to be with Jack.
He shrugs. ‘I didn’t know he’d be like that with you. He’s never met any of my girlfriends before.’
‘I didn’t know he was
even like that with you,’ I say quietly, reaching across to touch his knee. I feel so bad for him. ‘Why haven’t you or Agnes ever told me?’ I ask.
He stares rigidly out of the front window, concentrating on navigating the winding hills of Bel Air. I’m not sure he’s going to reply, but then he shrugs.
‘I guess we prefer to pretend it’s not a big deal.’
‘But it is a big deal!’ I erupt. ‘He’s a complete wanker!’
This makes him smirk. He shoots me a look and then opens up. ‘He’s not always like that. Most of the time he doesn’t give a shit what we do or who we’re with, but then he’ll make up for it by being a total dick for days on end. He’s a contradictory ass. Anyway,’ he says with a sigh. ‘I won’t be living there forever.’
‘Why are you still living there now? You’re eighteen. You could get your own place.’
He shakes his head. ‘I wouldn’t leave Agnes.’
My heart expands violently as I stare at him and I feel more for him in that moment than I ever have.
‘Jack,’ I say quietly.
‘Mmm?’
‘Pull over.’
He glances at me sideways and then does as I ask, flicking on his indicator and turning into a lay-by. The City of Angels spills out before us, the street lamps stretching for mile after sparkling mile.
I unclick my seatbelt and climb onto his lap, threading my hands behind his neck. I kiss him gently.
He kisses me back, but doesn’t deepen it like he usually would. Instead he clasps my head in his hand and presses his face to my neck, breathing in and exhaling heavily.
‘I love you,’ I whisper.
He sleepily lifts his head. ‘What?’
His blue-grey eyes study me in the darkness of the car, his eyebrows pulled together.
‘You heard me,’ I say, gazing back at him.
Now his lips are on mine, teasing my mouth apart. I kiss him back passionately, wanting more, always wanting more. A car screams round the corner, its headlights momentarily blinding us.
‘Where can we go?’ I ask him.
‘Drew’s?’ he suggests.
‘Wouldn’t that be weird?’
He shakes his head.
‘Have you been there before?’ I ask warily.
He looks instantly uncomfortable.
‘Screw that,’ I say with annoyance. I’m not going anywhere he used to take girls back to.
‘Hey,’ he says quietly, drawing me close.
‘Let’s go out,’ I say suddenly. ‘Seriously, let’s go out. I just want to go somewhere with you, a club or something. Let’s just go and have an ordinary night together without all the shit.’
‘What about Johnny? He’d want Sam with you.’
‘Well, for once, my dad is not going to get what he wants. I’m serious!’ I exclaim, as Jack stares at me warily. ‘He’ll get over it. Come on, let’s live a little.’
He shrugs. ‘OK. If that’s what you wanna do.’
‘It is,’ I say adamantly. And, with that, I climb off his lap and put my seatbelt back on.
‘He wasn’t like that in the beginning,’ Jack confides. We’re in a booth at the back of a dark nightclub. Drew is DJ-ing here tonight and Jack knew the doorman so we got in with no trouble at all. He’s bringing me up to date about his stepdad.
‘He seemed like a good guy, someone who’d take care of my mom. But he’s become bitter over the years, resenting Agnes and me. He makes us feel like we’re not wanted.’
‘What does your mum have to say about it?’
‘Nothing. She’s weak.’
I bite my lip and stare at him.
‘It’s not her fault,’ he says disconsolately. ‘Dad screwed her around so much that she was pretty messed up when they got divorced. I didn’t understand at the time, but it makes more sense now. Luckily Tim’s not around a whole lot so we don’t have to deal with him. And I can always go and stay with Drew if he’s on my case too much.’
‘Do you do that often?’
‘A bit.’
And there I was, worrying about him staying overnight at his brother’s. I didn’t trust him, wondered what he was getting up to, but it appears Jack was just trying to put some distance between him and his stepdad.
‘Is he like that with Agnes?’
He shakes his head. ‘He’s not nearly as bad with her. But she’s still at school. So far, she’s doing everything he wants. Hell knows what’ll happen if she doesn’t do well in her classes. Luckily she wants to go to college, but Tim would prefer her to major in business or law rather than fashion design. But he can’t have everything.’
Suddenly Drew slides into the booth opposite us. ‘Hi!’ he says, grinning across the table.
‘Hi!’ I reply, smiling. ‘How are you?’
‘Good. Almost time for me.’ He nods at the DJ decks.
He’s even taller and broader than Jack with dark-blond hair like his dad and ink all up his arms.
‘You want to jump on the decks later?’ he asks Jack.
‘I haven’t got my records with me,’ Jack replies.
‘Use mine,’ Drew offers.
Jack shrugs and glances at me.
‘Go for it,’ I tell him. ‘I’ll amuse myself.’
Jack raises his eyebrows at me and returns his gaze to his brother. ‘Why? You don’t usually give up your time slot.’
‘There’s a girl here I wanna hang out with.’
Jack tuts and leans back in his seat. ‘Sure.’
‘Cool, thanks, dude.’ Drew grins. ‘You guys need drinks? I’m going to the bar.’
‘I’m driving,’ Jack replies, ‘but Jessie will.’
They both glance at me. I nod. ‘Thanks. Maybe a beer?’
‘Done.’
He gets up again and strides off in the direction of the bar. I smile at Jack. He sorted me out a fake ID last week, but I don’t need to use it with Drew around. Jack glances past me, over my right shoulder.
‘Is that Sienna?’ he asks.
I follow the line of his sight and see my friend on the dance floor getting up close and personal with a very good-looking guy.
‘Wow, yeah, it is.’
She called me on Sunday while I was still in San Francisco and vehemently stated that she only let Dana know which club she was in after she heard I wasn’t going. I hadn’t even asked her about it, but I guess she knew I’d find out.
I can’t stop Sienna from being nice to her sister. Why would I want to? I just hope she’s right about Dana having changed.
‘You gonna go say hi?’ Jack asks.
‘I should,’ I reply. ‘Back in a sec.’
I slide out of the booth and make my way onto the dance floor. Sienna spies me almost immediately.
‘Jessie!’ she gasps with delight, shoving the guy she’s dancing with out of the way and coming over to engulf me in her slightly sweaty arms. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘I came with Jack,’ I respond. ‘Who was that?’ I ask, nodding at the guy.
‘Just a model from my agency. Hot, isn’t he? Oh my God, this is so cool,’ she gushes, not waiting for an answer. Abruptly, her face shifts.
‘What?’ I ask.
‘I’m here with Dana,’ she admits, looking awkward.
I instantly come over in a cold flush. Shit.
‘Please don’t stress out,’ she implores. ‘Seriously, why don’t you come meet her? I think you’d really like her!’
‘No way,’ I say. ‘I don’t even want to be within ten metres of her.’
Sienna’s expression blackens and she shrugs, looking away from me. ‘OK,’ she says simply. ‘See you at school, then.’
Now I feel bad. ‘Sorry.’ I grab her arm before she can walk off. ‘I know it’s not your fault; it’s just complex, that’s all.’
‘I know it is.’ She frowns. ‘But it’s ridiculous. I’m sorry, but it is. She’s my sister; you’re my friend; Dana and Johnny don’t even speak to each other. She’s trying really hard to make
amends. If you could just meet her, you’d see that. She’s not on drugs – she doesn’t even drink, for Christ’s sake. What’s the worst that could happen?’
I take a deep breath. Maybe she’s right. And I want to be a supportive friend. ‘Fine,’ I say. ‘Introduce me.’ I can make up my own mind whether I think she’s a bitch from hell.
‘Yay!’ Sienna says, beaming as she leads me off the dance floor. I shoot a look in Jack’s direction, but can’t see him for all the people.
Dana is in a booth on the other side of the club, surrounded by a group of hipsters, all in their late twenties.
‘Little sis!’ she cries, as we approach. ‘And—’ Her eyes widen at the sight of me. ‘And Jessie Jefferson,’ she finishes, looking surprised. I manage not to flinch at the name she uses, but how the hell did she know who I was?
‘She’s seen photos of us together,’ Sienna says hastily, as Dana stands up and edges out of the booth.
Nerves tangle in my stomach as she joins us.
‘I’m Dana,’ she says, holding her hand out.
‘I know,’ I reply, obligingly shaking it.
She’s strikingly attractive, in skinny black jeans, stiletto heels and a sheer gold top. She’s tiny and her cheekbones are prominent, but she’s nowhere near as gaunt as she was in the pictures I saw of her after her infamous overdoses. Her long dark hair is tied up into a high, sleek ponytail and her eyeliner is even thicker and heavier than Agnes’s. She’s wearing a dark shade of lipstick that’s almost black in colour.
She shakes her head at me, seemingly amazed. ‘You look just like your daddy.’ I tense, but she smiles brightly. ‘It’s great to finally meet you,’ she adds. ‘Sienna says you’re cool.’
‘Thanks,’ I reply, not knowing what else to say.
‘You want to sit down?’ she offers. I look at the people she’s with and decide that I couldn’t want anything less. They seem pretty daunting.
‘Thanks, but my boyfriend is here.’
‘The elusive Jack Mitchell,’ she declares, grinning, as I stare at her in alarm. ‘Don’t look so freaked out, baby girl. My little sis has told me a lot about you. Let’s meet him.’
‘OK, sure,’ I say, trying to sound nonchalant and mature. My pulse races as I lead Dana and Sienna through the crowd to the booth on the other side of the dance floor. Drew is sitting opposite Jack, nursing a beer. They both look up as we approach. Jack freezes.
