by Serena Lyons
“But you’re…” His voice trails off as I glare at him. “God, I’m going to be in shit with the gaffer when we get back.”
Then the door bursts open again, and three firemen burst through.
“I’m walking!” I snap. “I need to feel the ground underneath me.”
“Alright, but let two of us go in front of you, then we’ll catch you if you slip.”
“Thanks.”
“I need to see Callum.” I steel myself for an argument.
“Pardon, love?”
“Well, they’re gone aren’t they?”
“Already?” I’m confused, I didn’t think the xxx would work that quickly. “Doesn’t the er… the coroner need to do
“Oh shit, no one told you? Neither of them died. Bloody miracle if you ask me. Things are still in the balance, but they’re both in surgery at the Radcliffe as we speak…”
I’ve never been religious, but I drop to my knees, in this majestic, horrific church. It seems the right, the only, thing to do.
“If there’s anyone listening to me, God or Allah or whatever you are called, save him for me. Please, save him for himself.” Tears burn my cheeks as I pray for Callum to survive. If I could swap my life for his, I would.
55: Faith
The doctors insisted that I stay in hospital overnight and even though I expect to be awake the whole night worrying about Callum, I drop into a sleep as deep as a coma. I only wake up when a nurse come in to check my vitals.
“What time is it?” I ask, blinking as the light of day hits my eyes. A morning that so nearly didn’t come for me.
“Nine thirty,” she smiles kindly. “You really needed your rest.”
“Nine thirty?” I push myself up. “How’s Callum doing?”
She bows her head. “I’m afraid I’m not allowed to give out information about other patients.”
She won’t meet my eyes. He’s dead, a cold certainty settles in my stomach. “Oh God, he died, didn’t he? I have to see Nina.” I pull the bed sheet from me and start to swing my legs out of bed.
“No, you’re not going anywhere, missy. You’re still attached to a drip for starters, that’s what I came into remove.” She nods at my arm and I look down to see she’s right. She glances furtively at the door. “But I’ll flex the rules to tell you Callum’s in good shape. He got through surgery well and his family are in with him now.”
Relief hits me so hard I flop back on the pillow. He’s alive!
“Can I go and see him once the drip is out?”
The nurse looks at the ceiling before answering. “Family only, I’m afraid love.” She doesn’t quite meet my eyes she says it.
“He’d want to see me.” I argue.
“Rules are rules, I’m afraid. Now let’s have you get some rest.”
“Can you pass me a phone? Please?” I add please after a few moments. It’s not her fault my head is banging and I’m stuck all alone in this box white box of a room.
“Course.” She passes it to me then rushes out of the room.
I text Nina first.
Faith: Hey, I’d love to see you. How’s Callum doing? And how are you? I’m in room 398.
I stare at the phone for a good couple of minutes, but there is no telltale ticks to show she’s read my message. I move so I’m lying down, looking at the ceiling, browsing the news or social media is pointless right now, it wouldn’t be any respite. I logged on early and was inundated with lurid stories about my nightmare of the last twenty-fours hours.
But every time I close my eyes I see Phillip’s face glaring at me, the wicked fury in his eyes. I hope it wasn’t really his last memory. I still can’t believe he did that say
There’s a crash on the door to my room opens.
“Sir, I said you couldn’t…” The nurse’s voice starts off far away, then gets louder and is accompanied by shoes running heels clicking down the corridor.
I stop listening to her as I see who’s walked into my room. Lord Charrington, who if his psychotic son is to be believed, is my father.
“Faith.” He smiles awkwardly, but his voice betrays no hint of emotion.
“Lord Charrington.”
“I’m glad to see you’re well.” He smiles ruefully. “May I talk to you?”
I’m saved from replying by the nurse who stomps into the room. “Sir, I told you it’s family only.”
This time he looks at me before answering, but breaks eye contact. “Actually, I am family.”
The nurse’s gaze ping-pongs between the tweed encrusted Lord and my bleached-blonde hair with neon tips. “Ms Davies, are you happy with him being here?” She asks.
A big part of me really wants to say no. How dare he claim family status when it’s convenient for him? He has completely ignored me every other day of my life. But the urge to have more answers than Phillip was able to give me is stronger. I have to find out more.
“It’s fine.” I tell her. “We have a lot to catch up on it turns out.”
Lord Charrington’s Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows deeply.
I smother my smile. He’s not as easy with this conversation as he’d like to make me think. Well, he’s not getting away with this conversation scot-free.
“So was Phillip telling the truth when he said that you’re my father?” I’m going to lead this conversation, even if my stomach is doing somersaults.
He steeples his fingers together and stares at them. “Yes, well, it wasn’t my finest hour cheating on Sylvie, but one can’t complain when the result is an outcome as charming as yourself.”
All my life, or at least from when I was old enough to realise I was unusual in not having a father who doted on me, I’ve dreamt of hearing my father compliment me, but somehow it falls flat. Maybe it’s the fact he won’t look me. Or the knowledge that he knew exactly where I was my entire life—three miles down the road from his other children to be precise—and he never bothered to try to find me.
“How did you get together with my mother?” Ugh, the word mother seems so impersonal, but nothing else fits. I barely remember her and she never did anything to embody the position of Mam in my heart.
He pinkens and coughs. “She was very beautiful and she knew it. It’s a tale as old as time really, the older man bewitched by a young ingenue. I was powerless to resist her charms.”
Anger burns inside of me. “She was nineteen when I was born, eighteen when I was conceived. How old were you in 2002?”
“I really don’t think that’s…” He leans away from me.
“I can google it if you’d prefer, I’m sure it’s on your Debrett’s listing.” I lean to the table with my phone on it.
He sighs, like I’m being uncouth. “I was born in 1965.”
“So you’re saying the thirty-seven-year-old multi-millionaire was the one taken advantage of by the eighteen-year-old girl?”
He must hear the fury in my voice, because he raises his hand as if to pacify me. “Apologies, that was clumsy of me. I was trying to say how utterly beguiling your mother was. Beautiful… charismatic… the life of the party…”
“The life of the party until your wife killed her.”
He pales. “I…er.. I don’t.”
“Save it. Phillip told me everything. About the drugs. About the cover up.”
“Sylvie was ill, she was very regretful.
“I don’t think that was your decision to make.”
“Why the hell are you here?”
He coughs, then shakes out his shoulders. “To ask you not to press charges against Phillip. For the sake of the family.”
“Get the hell out of here and never come back!” I scream so loudly that once again the nurse’s heels click along the corridor.
“She was more of a father than you could ever be.”
56: Faith
“Are you okay, love?” The nurse walks into the room without knocking. “I heard some raised voices and security have been alerted.”
“Security.” Lord Cha
rrington—I can’t think of this weasel of a man as anything else—rolls his eyes. “No need to overreact. I was—”
“Disturbing the patient and interfering with her recovery and acting like a shit excuse for a human.” I snap. “Please leave immediately.”
“You’ll regret speaking so sharply to me once you’ve had a chance to cool down.” He huffs, rising up and taking a wide berth around the nurse. “Don’t think I won’t update my will based on your complete lack of cooperation. You will—.”
“The only thing I’d regret would be taking your blood money.” I tell him.
Still, a tear rolls down my cheek as he leaves the room without a backward glance.
“Are you okay, love?” The nurse repeats.
“Yes, thanks, I just need a moment alone if that’s okay?” It’s hard to speak properly with the fizzing explosion of emotions threatening to burst out of chest.
“Of course, the doctor should be along on his rounds shortly to get you signed out of here.” She gently closes the door behind her.
As soon as I’m alone, the tears come. I’m crying for so many things at once. For the child inside me who always dreamt her father would ride in, a hero on a white horse and erase the loneliness of growing up without parents with his overwhelming love and affection. For Millie who won’t come back no matter how many demons I slay. For Callum and whatever pain he’s going through for me. The fact he didn’t die is a miracle, but he could be paralysed—or worse. And it would all be my fault.
I ugly cry, thick, choking tears that threaten to suffocate me. All I want is to be able to pull Callum in to my arms and cling to him. To know he’s safe.
I need to go and find him, I can’t wait for the doctor to give me position to move. My drip is out, I swing my legs out of the bed again, but as I do the door flings open.
“Oh, my darling girl!” Gran runs in the room and throws her arms around me. “Thank God you’re safe, when the police called, I…” Her words break off into a sob and guilty permeates every cell of my body.
“I’m sorry.” I sob, sinking into her embrace. “You were right. I should have left things well alone. Nina and Callum are both hurt and it’s all my fault.”
“No!” Gran pulls away, holding my hands in hers and looking me straight in the eye. “You were right, you were brave and Phillip needed getting off the streets. If you hadn’t poked the beehive, he’d have just attacked someone else who isn’t as strong as you. I should never have told you to lie.”
“So, you’re an advocate for the truth now?” I can’t keep the bite out of my voice.
“I’m sorry for not telling you about your father, my darling. It seemed like it was for the best at the time.”
“It probably was. He’s a complete and utter dickhead.”
Gran’s forehead crinkles in question.
“He just came to beg me not to testify against Phillip. His daughter’s murderer.”
“Oh, love.” She pulls be into her chest and strokes my hair. “I’m so sorry, he never deserved you.”
I can’t tell her she’s been working for her daughter’s murderer for the last two decades. It would break her.
“I have to go and see Callum.
“I’m sorry, he says he doesn’t want to see you.” Britain’s most famous rocker actually blushes as he prevents me from seeing his son.
Something horrible has happened, Callum’s paralysed or something, and he blames me.
Penultimate:
Rule one for winning back the most eligible guy in college? I have no fucking idea.
Callum’s still avoiding me. No matter how many times I try to speak to him, he won’t engage. If it wasn’t for the fact he can’t meet my gaze, maybe I’d believe him when he says that he’s just not interested.
I stare in the same bathroom mirror that I got ready in my first night in college. Fuck, that seems like so much longer than three months ago. Everything has changed, I don’t even really need to be here any longer. Millie is avenged. Phillip is safely locked up in prison awaiting his trial. The prosecution successfully argued that he was a flight risk given his parents’ wealth if he got bail.
He’s going to plead insanity though, that much is clear. They’ll get him a cushy sentence and a private room in a hospital that’s more like a hotel. I don’t understand how they can fight for him after what he to beautiful, sweet Millie.
“You’re still not finished getting ready?” Nina barges into the bathroom, distracting me from my maudlin thoughts. “You do realise you could come down in a bin bag and unwashed hair and he still wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off you?”
“You think?”
“I know.” She squeezes my shoulders. “He’s obsessed with you, he just needs to realise that he won’t hurt you. Phillip’s words about him weakening Millie really struck a nerve.”
“Phillip’s a psychopath,” I shudder. I still can’t believe that he’s technically my brother. Be careful what you wish for.
God, if Millie and I had known we were half-sisters. I wish I could tell her. I pull her locket out from my bodice and open it to the picture of the two of us. It doesn’t matter, we loved each other like sisters even if we never knew we were. And maybe the people you choose to love is more important than blood.
“Enough about Psycho Phil.” I sweep on the bright red lipstick that’s now my signature look. Mousy little Faith is no more. “Let’s go celebrate—term one at Westforde done and dusted!”
Nina high fives me and we saunter down to the ball.
“Wow, I didn’t get the full effect of your dress in the bathroom.” I tell her. She looks like a completely different woman to the one I met three months ago.
FINISH
“Standing under the mistletoe with my brother would mean I’m in need of even more therapy,” Nina grimaces and looks up at the small white flowers hanging above us. “I’ll leave you two to enjoy it.”
“Axel’s by the bar.” Callum says to Nina.
“And why would I care about that?” Nina raises her eyebrow, but I can’t help but notice she walks in the direction of the bar.
“Do you think those two will ever admit they like each other?” He says, smiling for the first time in weeks.
It takes all my self control not to smile back at him. He can’t just blow hot and cold like this. “I don’t know, men being unable to admit their true feelings seems par for the course around here.”
“Touche.” The twinkle disappears from his eyes and guilt surges through me. “I’m sorry about the last few weeks Faith, things have been…”
“Scary, tough, frustrating, lonely? Because that’s what they’ve been for me.” I lower my gaze to the floor, I’m not sure I’m brave enough to say this while looking at his brilliant eyes. “I needed you Callum, and you tossed me aside like I didn’t matter.”
“Of course you matter,” he looks hurt.
“So you’ll talk to me tonight?” I fold my arms in front of me as I glare at Callum. I’m pissed off with him and he looks irresistible in his black tie, which is making me even more pissed off with him. “Not playing the whole ‘I’m too bad for you card’ anymore?”
His lips curls up like he’s amused by me. “You look beautiful tonight, by the way.”
Something fizzes inside of me as he says the words, his voice is slow and velvety and I know he means exactly what he’s saying to me. But still. “Nice words aren’t enough to make up for ignoring me for the last month. Since you fell xxx feet in an attempt to save my life.”
“And now we have a song from our resident rock royalty, Callum Carter-Wright is going to be singing a song he wrote himself.” The DJ laughs into his mic and a high-pitched screeching sound echoes through the room. “Now before I’m accused of nepotism, we made Callum audition and can I say this man could be even bigger than his father. Give me a hand for our college hero, rugby captain, defender of women, fighter of murderers—is there anything this man can’t do? I give you Callum Carter-Wri
ght, people!”
I watch Callum’s eyes as the DJ blathers on like he’s presenting the BBC Radio 1 Drive-time show, not the only member of the college entertainment team willing to make a fool of himself in public. Callum rolls his eyes as the praise is heaped on him, looking faintly embarrassed by it all.
He is a good man, I hope he knows that.
He leans over to whisper into my ear. Shivers of anticipation ricochet through me and I want to turn my head and find his lips. “Sorry, bad timing. Don’t go anywhere.”
He spins away before I can remind him that I’m not the one who’s been running these past two weeks.
He bounces on stage and sits down at a keyboard I hadn’t even noticed was at the back of the stage.
“I wrote this for the woman who gives me hope that I’m not all bad, for the woman who makes me want to be a better man every time I see her. Who’s brave and feisty and stubborn and smarter than me and just the most beautiful woman in the room tonight and every night. Faith Davies, I hope this goes some way towards apologising for how much of an idiot I’ve been these past few weeks. Christ, since I met you.” His eyes find mine and there’s so much promise contained within them. I know we’re going to be just fine.
Together, we can get through anything, we’ve already proven that.
Epilogue: Faith
Five Years Later
My phone vibrates in the pocket of my long white coat. I sneak a peak while the Senior Registrar leads us to the next ward. It’s Callum.
As always his name makes little bubbles of joy reverberate through my body. I never thought my happiness would be so intertwined with another person, I never expected that could bring me so much joy.
