Prescription for Desire

by Candace Shaw

“And then finish making love on the bed?” she asked, kissing him seductively.

  He lifted her off of him and stepped out of the tub. “I’ll go find that light.”

  Chapter Ten

  The weeks after the Buenos Aires trip seemed to go by so fast that, before Raven knew it, it was almost time to leave. Doctors Unlimited had confirmed her airline ticket, as well as her official last day. The permanent Ob-Gyn was arrived a few days before she was to begin work to get settled and learn the ropes of Doctors Unlimited. Raven met her briefly yesterday at the welcome dinner.

  Raven and Armand had spent most of their free time together, which was hard considering they had conflicting shifts, but they still managed to sleep together most nights once Armand was off around three in the morning. She’d been back to the orphanage twice since the museum field trip. The last time was the hardest because the children drew her pictures and wrote letters that she would always treasure. Isabella even gave her the bunny rabbit she was coloring when she first met her.

  She sat at her office desk for the last time, making sure everything was updated for her replacement. Raven had just seen her last patient, who she had the pleasure of telling she was six weeks pregnant. She loved those precious moments; telling a woman she was expecting. She just hated that she wouldn’t be there with the patient through her pregnancy.

  Raven was really going to miss working at the Doctors Unlimited medical facility. It wasn’t as hustle and bustle as working at her practice, and constantly having to wake up in the middle of the night if one of her expectant mothers was ready to deliver.

  A light tap on her ajar door jerked her head in its direction as Armand peeked in.

  “Busy?”

  “Nope. Just shut it down for the last time.” She leaned back in her chair and swiveled it halfway around, watching the computer close down.

  He came all the way in, closing the door. “Cool. I’ll make sure the receptionist removes your login information.” He seemed uncomfortable or uneasy about something. His facial expression was rather bland, and he kept nodding his head.

  “Something wrong?”

  He shrugged nonchalantly. “No. So you’re all packed?”

  “I haven’t even begun.”

  He laughed. “Really? Um … you have a closet full of clothes, and you’re leaving in the morning.” His laughed ended, and he inhaled deeply.

  She smiled in her head when she realized what was wrong with him. She felt it, too, but she didn’t want it to show. She figured she’d cry once she was in her bed in Memphis. “It won’t take me long to pack. You can come over and help me.”

  “That’s not a problem.” He stood and headed toward the door. “I have some things to finish up, but I’ll see you in a few hours.”

  “Okay.” When he left, she let out a long exhale. She’d tried her hardest not to say everything that was bottled up inside of her. She had fallen in love with him, which was something she had tried desperately not to do with a man that, by tomorrow at this time, would be thousands of miles away from her.

  *****

  “Hey,” he said as he entered her apartment, glancing at all of her suitcases open on the floor. Tons of clothes flanked the couch, chairs, and coffee table. His heart nearly sank. This was really happening. She was leaving. “So you brought all of your clothes with you?”

  She folded up a skirt, followed by another one. “Ha. No. This is maybe one-fourth of my closet, and apparently I brought too much because I didn’t even wear all of this.” She kept her eyes downcast, and her hands trembled as she folded the clothes.

  “What do you need me to do?” He found an empty spot on the couch next to a bunch of maxi dresses with his favorite yellow one on top. He ran his hand down it and smiled, remembering when her strap kept slipping off of her shoulder. That’s when he knew he had to have her. What he didn’t know was that he would fall in love with her.

  “Sure. Take all of those off of the hangers and fold them so they can fit into the medium-sized suitcase by the door. I bought a few new ones from Mrs. Gomez’s shop for me and my sisters, so I’m taking back more clothes and souvenirs than what I came with.”

  He began to slide the dresses off of the hangars while trying to keep the conversation and atmosphere mellow. “Mrs. Gomez makes beautiful dresses.”

  Raven nodded, keeping her eyes away from his.

  Armand couldn’t believe that in less than twenty-four hours she would be leaving. He wasn’t sure what to say to her. He’d done this routine before: dating a woman that he knew the relationship wouldn’t last past the time he would be in whatever city, even if they wanted more. He always said it was for the best. This time was different. She was leaving him, and it hurt his male ego. He definitely didn’t want this to be a final goodbye, even though they had agreed that what happened in Buenos Aires stayed in Buenos Aires. However, Raven wasn’t the type of woman to let go of. She wasn’t a cheap fling or a friend-with-benefits type of woman. Armand had made her his from the first stare, the first touch, the first kiss, and the first time they’d made love. She was all his. Mind, body, heart, and soul. And he wasn’t going to lose her.

  They continued folding clothes in silence as soft music played in the background. Every now and then he’d catch her stealing glances his way with a hesitation on her lips, but she’d purse them together and kept quiet.

  “You have your boarding pass printed and passport ready?”

  “Yep, in my Prada purse by the door.”

  “And a ride from the airport?”

  “Sean is picking me up,” Raven answered, finally looking at him and speaking in a somewhat upbeat tone. “I spoke to him about an hour ago to confirm.”

  “Good. I’m sure your family will be happy to have you home.”

  “Mmm hmm.” She nodded and continued to pack the suitcase in front of her.

  He sat on the floor next to her and lifted her head, but she diverted her eyes from his. “Raven … look at me, babe.”

  Sad eyes rested on his face. “This doesn’t have to be a final good-bye. I know we said we would just hang out while you were here, but I still want to stay in contact with you. I still want to see you whenever—”

  “You’re in the States.” She finished his sentence matter-of-factly.

  “Yeah, or you can come here. Well … I don’t know how much longer I’ll be here. Maybe another year or so. The board is in the process of opening another medical facility in Chile and has asked if I’d like to move there.”

  “That would be good for you. You love going to different places and learning about the cultures. That’s how you grew up.”

  A slow, Latin jazz song came on the radio and Armand stood, holding his hand out to her.

  “Bailas conmigo, preciosa.”

  She displayed a beautiful smile, and for a moment all was right in his world. Maybe she wasn’t ready to say good-bye forever. Maybe he’d see her again.

  Armand pulled her into his embrace, and she rested her head on his shoulder as they swayed back and forth to the music. No woman had ever felt so right in his arms.

  “I hate you have to go,” he whispered in her ear.

  Raven responded with a deep, tempting kiss, and a low moan rumbled from his throat. He weaved his fingers into her hair, pushing his tongue further into her mouth. A sensual sigh escaped him when he lifted her and carried her to the bedroom. He placed her on the bed, lying on top of her as their lips never left each other. He’d never felt so joined and in tune with a woman. They weren’t even one yet physically, but mentally they were in complete sync.

  Her hands floated down his back, grasping the hem of his shirt to raise it, and her fingertips skated up his skin, sending a hot current to his groin. He sat up briefly to take the shirt off, flinging it on the floor as her fingers traveled to his chest. She pulled him back to her lips while her hands massaged his bare chest. Erotic moans managed to leave her mouth in between their tongues sensually colliding with each other.

 
“Take off your pants,” she panted against his mouth, her hands roaming to the belt buckle.

  Armand obeyed, whipping the belt loose and tugging his pants and boxers down with her help. Next came her maxi dress, and he was pleasantly surprised to see she wasn’t wearing a bra or panties. His lips met hers again, but this time his kisses were gentle. He took his time, savoring her luscious mouth and warm tongue that had a mind of its own. Not that he didn’t mind the feral kisses, but he wanted to relish in their last moments together, at least for now. His chest tightened at the thought. However, he knew this wasn’t the end for them. It was only the beginning.

  He turned her over on her stomach and began to place soft kisses on her neck, trailing his lips down her body as his hands held hers firmly to the bed by her side. When his penis rubbed between her butt, she gyrated against him.

  “Not yet.” Armand playfully popped her butt and proceeded to place kisses along her back, removing his hands from hers and running them alongside her hips. His tongue inched closer to her other succulent lips and delved in. She let out a relieved moan and gripped the pillow as he slowly licked, greedily drinking from her canal. He held her steady to bed as her body trembled and jerked. He continued twirling his tongue around faster the more she bucked against him. Somehow, she managed to turn over and grab him up to her. He pulled her legs over his shoulders and entered with one stroke. He sunk in deeper with each pull and moan from her. Holding her hands to the mattress, his eyes rested intently with hers. Never wavering. The electric currents shooting in him must’ve gone straight to her, for as soon as they rushed through him she shivered in his arms and the bed shook. Even though the walls of the staff apartments were soundproof, he had a feeling someone, somewhere in the building, felt that tremor as well.

  Armand placed her legs around his waist and gathered her in his arms, still keeping his eyes on hers. The sun had started to fade through the window, but he could still see her beautiful face. He knew he loved this woman; knew he would find a way for them to be together.

  “This isn’t our last time. I promise.” He nearly choked on his words as his muscles tensed. He never wanted to be without her. That wasn’t an option for them.

  Armand kissed her forehead softly, and a muffled cry sounded from her when she buried her head into his chest. He slowed down their tempo a tad, and she ran her hands up to his shoulders, holding on to him so tightly he thought she would break him in two. Her moans were still muffled in his chest, and that wasn’t like her. She usually looked at him or kissed him, wanting him to hear just how much she enjoyed their lovemaking.

  He stopped for a second and gently lifted her head. “Oh, baby.” Armand had never seen so many tears cascade down her lovely face before. He kissed them, but more fell. “Don’t cry. You hear me?”

  Raven tried to move away from him, but he held her close in his arms. “Let it out. Go ahead and cry. I’m right here, baby.”

  She dried her eyes with her hands. “I don’t want to cry, at least not in front of you but … I–I’m going to miss you s–so very much, Armand.”

  “I’m going to miss you, beautiful.” He kissed her softly as he laced his hands in her hair; his eyes were steady on hers as the tears silently fell down her cheeks. He continued to make love to her until they both reached their release at the same time. Afterwards, they took a shower together and made love again. And somewhere in all of her crying, he heard her whisper in his ear, “I love you.” That was all of the ammo he needed to make sure they’d be together sooner than later.

  *****

  Raven rested her head on his chest, swirling her finger around the lion’s mane. She’d hated that she’d cried during sex. She tried to suppress it, but it couldn’t be helped. She knew it was their last time forever, and her emotions had completely taken over at the mere thought. Even though he promised it wouldn’t be their last, but she knew that it was. She needed to cry again, but her body and mind were mentally and spiritually drained. He stirred underneath her, rubbing her back gently and placing a soothing kiss to her head.

  “Raven?”

  “Yes?” she answered weakly.

  “This doesn’t have to be goodbye. I’ll be in the States in May for my sister’s graduation for at least a week, and you can come back here for a week or two before then.”

  This was the conversation she was dreading. “I don’t know how that will be possible.”

  “Don’t you have vacation time?”

  “Yes. One month a year, and a few mini vacations here and there, but I’ve been here for almost two months. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon, at least not until this summer.”

  His chest rose and fell deeply under her. “Well … May is six months away. Do we want to go that long without seeing each other?”

  She sat up and turned on the lamp next to the bed.

  “Armand, we agreed that what we had would remain here. We live thousands of miles away from each other.” She had hoped this wouldn’t be so hard.

  “There is clearly something more between us than just a fling or friends with benefits. I know that’s what we said in the beginning, Raven, but I want more than just a fling. I want a relationship with you past today.”

  She got out of the bed and fished around in the comforter for her dress. “A long-distance relationship? What … we’re going to email, text, and Skype all the time? Send smoke signals? There’s a time difference. We work crazy shifts. It wouldn’t work.” Finding the dress, she slipped it over her head.

  “It won’t have to be long distance forever.” Armand jumped out of the bed, put his boxers on, and stood in front of her. “In a few years I’ll probably move back to the States.”

  “Exactly. In a few years. A lot can happen during that time period. One of us may start seeing other people. You were in a long distance relationship before, how did that work out for you?”

  “I was younger. I wasn’t in love with her.”

  “Armand, you’re a wonderful man, and I’ve enjoyed every single moment with you, but I’m not who you should be with. You need to be in a relationship that actually has the potential to develop into more. You’re thirty-three, not some young cat jumping from girl to girl every few months. You need someone that can give you what you want. I’m almost forty, don’t want to get married again, and I can’t have children. I’ve seen you interact with the children at the orphanage, and even the ones here in Ghilaua. You want a family. You want kids. Your own flesh and blood, and I can’t give that to you. You shouldn’t waste your time with me after today.”

  Tears welled up in her eyes again, but she suppressed them.

  “Raven, I don’t care about that. If we ever got that far, we could adopt or use a surrogate. It wouldn’t matter.”

  Running her hand through her hair, she shook her head. “My point exactly. If we ever got that far. What if we don’t? What if we find out three years from now when you move to the States that we can’t stand each other and break up? That’s years wasted with me when you could’ve been with someone who wants to get married and can have your babies.”

  He grabbed her to him, and instantly the suppression of the tears ended. One dropped, followed by another.

  “That’s a chance I’m willing to take,” he said with so much assurance in his voice that she knew he was telling the truth. “Aren’t you the one who told me to have a little faith?”

  When she stepped out of his embrace, she was suddenly very cold with shivers as she turned toward the door.

  “Can you honestly look me in my face and tell me you don’t love me?”

  Raven stopped in her tracks. Here was her chance to tell him how much she loved him. Needed him. Here was her chance to give him what he wanted, or at least half, and that wasn’t good enough. Armand was a wonderful man and deserved nothing less.

  She pivoted in the spot where she stood, but didn’t come near him even though she was dying to caress his five o’clock shadow just one more time. “I care very deeply for you,
and have enjoyed our time together, but … no, I’m not in love with you,” she lied, wondering how the hell she managed to keep her composure without breaking down completely again. “I will always treasure what we had during this short period of time and miss you dearly.”

  Armand stepped forward, his gray eyes dark. “I know you’re lying,” he stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

  Raven’s breathing became unhinged, and her heartbeat was at a standstill as she sought to find the right words. “I think it’s—”

  Armand’s emergency cell phone blared. His brow deepened as he tore his eyes from her and toward ringing phone, but right back to her. He cursed under his breath and grabbed the phone from the nightstand.

  “What?” he demanded.

  Raven retreated from the room, but stopped when he said, “Oh no.” She turned on her heel to face him.

  “Okay, I’ll be down in five.” He hung up and immediately began to throw on his clothes. Raven ran to the living area to grab his shoes.

  “What’s wrong?” After she handed them to him, he immediately slipped them on and headed toward the door.

  “Car accident.” He grabbed his keys and scan card from her coffee table. “Four people in critical condition and one may already be dead. I gotta run, but we’ll talk again before you leave. I love you.” He kissed her quickly before he rushed out of the door. At the same time, Dr. Watkins darted out of his, and the men jetted toward the elevator.

  Raven closed the door, resting against it as she let out a long breath. Her eyes scanned the suitcases on the floor. Making a sudden decision, she grabbed her laptop from her carry-on bag and glanced at the clock.

  Thirty minutes later, she’d managed to change her flight to a red-eye. It may have cost her more money, but she wanted to be gone before Armand made it back upstairs. She figured he’d be busy for the next few hours, so she asked Kay—who wasn’t on call—to take her to the airport. They even managed to pack the car with all of her suitcases in one trip.

  Raven knew Armand would be mad when he realized she was gone, but she couldn’t bear to say goodbye to him.