First Date (Minimum Wage Sidekick Book 2)

by Lucas Flint

  ZZZ sighed. “Oh, how I hate that word, ‘early.’ ‘Early bird gets the worm,’ ‘Early to bed, early to rise’ … don’t you just wish people would just let you sleep in sometimes? Honestly, there’s nothing I like better than a lazy Saturday where I don’t have anything to do and can just sleep in all day in my bed. That’s my idea of paradise.”

  “If you want to sleep, I hear that the Golden City Penitentiary has some pretty nice beds,” I said. “If you let me arrest you, I can make sure you get one of the nicer cots to sleep in.”

  ZZZ’s tired eyes narrowed. “You have a smart tongue for a boy who isn’t in control of this situation. Make more comments like that and my sleepy hand might slip and take off the heads of these pretty little girls.”

  That was when I noticed a string in his right hand, which was connected to the ax above the heads of Greta and Charlotte. Of course he would hold it; that way, if I tried to stop him, he could just pull the string and kill both of them instantly. Despite his whining about getting up early and wanting to sleep in, it was obvious to me now that that was all just an act to make me lower my guard and not take him seriously.

  “I think we could have a more reasonable discussion if you weren’t threatening to kill a couple of innocent girls,” I said. “Why don’t we get rid of the ax, move the girls out of the way, and then sit down and talk like adults?”

  “No, I don’t think so,” said ZZZ, shaking his head. “Because you’re a kid, let me explain how these situations work: The person threatening to kill the hostages is the one with power, the one who sets the tone of the discussion. That’s what adults call having ‘leverage,’ a word you might have heard your parents say or read in a book, unless you hate books, that is.”

  “I know what leverage is,” I said. “But I don’t think you know what the word ‘coward’ means. It’s what we in Texas call a grown man who threatens the lives of two innocent girls for no reason other than to force a confrontation with another man he has a problem with, rather than actually confronting the man himself.”

  “Where I come from, this is called being pragmatic,” said ZZZ. “Lots of ‘brave’ men have told me similar things, yet funnily enough, none of them are alive anymore, while the so-called ‘cowards’ still are. High-sounding morals don’t negate the harsh realities of this cold universe in which we live.”

  “Enough talking,” I said. “Let the girls go. Now.”

  “On one condition,” said ZZZ. He gestured at the bed with the pink sheets. “You take a nap.”

  I stared at ZZZ in confusion. “Wait, what?”

  “You heard me,” said ZZZ. “You look tired. No doubt all of your sidekick work, on top of your school work, has you worn out almost constantly. That doesn’t make you much different from most people. Did you know that most people in America don’t get enough sleep? That’s probably why our country is so screwed up. If more people could get enough sleep, I think we’d all be better off.”

  I almost yawned, but caught myself before I did, because I didn’t want ZZZ to see how effective his influence over me was. “You can’t be serious. I thought you wanted to kill me.”

  ZZZ’s sleepy smile grew wider. “Now where did you get that idea from? I’m a big believer in everyone, including my enemies, getting a good night’s rest. And that girl’s bed looks awfully nice. I bet you’ll fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow … though you probably won’t wake up ever again.”

  Now I understood. ZZZ wanted me to fall asleep so he could kill me. It was a twisted offer and made me wonder just how sane he was. Not that it mattered, really, because all it did was underscore the deadliness of my current situation.

  “And if I refuse?” I said. “What if I don’t need a nap?”

  “Everyone needs a nap, especially growing boys like you,” said ZZZ. “But I suppose if you refused my generous offer, these two girls—who are no doubt catching up on their sleep—would probably never wake up, either.” He tugged gently at the string, causing the ax head to shudder slightly. “It would be very messy, I suppose, but the bed is one of the messiest places in the house, so it isn’t that big of a deal.”

  Then ZZZ looked at me, his sleepy smile looking more sinister than ever. “Of course, you would never let your girlfriend die, now would you?”

  I stared at ZZZ, stunned. “How did you know—”

  “I’ve been watching you,” ZZZ cut me off. “Ever since I got here, I’ve been following you around, looking for the best time to strike while learning your weaknesses all the while. I notice you were dating this pretty blonde girl, while Myster’s daughter has a huge crush on you. I didn’t originally intend to take them hostage, but I’ve wasted enough time trying to kill you as is and my employer is getting impatient with the fact that you aren’t lying five feet underground yet, to the point where she’s threatening not to pay me all of the money she owes me if I waste more time.” He yawned. “I hate being rushed, but I also hate not getting paid more.”

  “Who is your employer?” I said. “Who hired you to kill me?”

  “I am offended that you think so lowly of me that you assume I would just reveal the name of my client just because you asked,” said ZZZ. “One of my policies is never to reveal my clients’ identities to anyone. Unlike some businessmen, I have ethics.”

  “Yeah, you’re really ethical, holding two innocent girls hostage in order to kill a teenage boy,” I said. “I know that when I think about ethical business practices, this is the first thing that comes to mind.”

  “Don’t taunt me, boy,” said ZZZ. “Remember what I said about leverage. I’m thinking of just killing the girls outright and then killing you. This wouldn’t be the first time I took the lives of people who I wasn’t hired to kill. It’s regrettable, but sometimes you have to do regrettable things to get the job done.”

  “Is that another part of your ‘ethics’?” I asked. “’Cause I don’t think you and I define the word ‘ethics’ the same.”

  “What did I just say about taunts?” said ZZZ. “One more quip like that and I’ll skip straight to the killing.”

  I didn’t say anything to that, because I knew that he was serious.

  Instead, I said, “How do I know you will spare the girls if I let you kill me?”

  “Because I wasn’t hired to kill them, obviously,” said ZZZ, rolling his eyes. “I’m an assassin, not a murderer. Assassins kill only who we are paid to kill. It doesn’t make sense to kill more than that unless it is absolutely necessary.”

  Despite ZZZ’s insistence, I didn’t trust him to spare Greta and Charlotte’s lives if I let him kill me. Not that I had any intention of giving myself up, but for all ZZZ’s talk about only killing who he was hired to kill, I could tell that he genuinely enjoyed killing people. He also gave off this rather creepy vibe, which made me worry that he might do more than just kill Greta and Charlotte if he had his way.

  Yet I didn’t know what else to do. Like ZZZ said, he was the one with the power in this situation, not me. If I refused—or if I spent too much time thinking about what to do—he would kill Greta and Charlotte without hesitation. I hoped that Myster and Cyberkid were getting into position, but when I looked around the room, I didn’t see any way they could sneak in without ZZZ being aware. And even if they did, all ZZZ needed to do was let go of the string and the deed would be done.

  “You seem indecisive,” said ZZZ. He yawned. “Let me help you make your decision.”

  ZZZ snapped his fingers. Immediately, Greta stirred. She raised her head and blinked several times, her eyes out of focus for a second, no doubt because she had been in a deep sleep.

  “Huh?” said Greta with a slight yawn. “What … huh? Where am I? Why am I tied up?”

  I looked at ZZZ. “What’s the meaning of this? Why did you wake her up?”

  ZZZ’s sleepy smile became chilling. “Because I want her to know that she died because you didn’t care about her.”

  “Wait, what?” said Greta. She looked
from ZZZ to me and back again, realization slowing dawning in her eyes. She looked up at the ax above her and Charlotte and let out a small yelp. “What’s that?”

  “An ax, darling,” said ZZZ in a dry voice. “One that is becoming harder and harder for me to keep up. If I let go of this string, it will take off your head … well, unless this boy lets me kill him, anyway.”

  My hands balled into fists. My eyes burned with suppressed energy. I wanted to burn that smug grin right off ZZZ’s dumb face, but I held my energy back. Letting my anger get the best of me would not help. I needed to be smart.

  “Tell her, boy,” said ZZZ in a gleeful tone. “Tell her that you don’t want to sacrifice to let her live. Like all ‘superheroes,’ you’re all talk and no show when it really counts.”

  I looked at Greta and Greta looked at me. I didn’t know what to do or what to say. Greta had no idea who I really was. I could see the pleading in her eyes and it hurt my heart to see her in such pain. But ZZZ had me well and truly cornered. Either I died or Greta and Charlotte did. That was the reality of the situation, no matter how much I wished it wasn’t.

  “I can see your resolve weakening,” said ZZZ. “You were, perhaps, intending to take me down, risking the lives of these girls in the process. But now that you have to look one of these girls in the eyes and see the fear, the terror, the pleading, you don’t quite feel that way anymore, eh? I understand. I always find it easier to kill people when I can’t see their faces, either.”

  My shoulders slumped. I hated it—I didn’t want to do it—but I said, in a deeply reluctant voice, “Okay, ZZZ, I’ll lie on the bed, if you will spare Greta and Charlotte.”

  “What?” said Greta, her eyes widening. “Beams, no, don’t do this. He’s insane. He’s a liar. You can’t trust him.”

  ZZZ snorted. “Insane? A liar? I would be flattered if I hadn’t been called those things by a million other people. Be more original for once.”

  I ignored ZZZ and looked Greta straight in the eyes. “I know, Greta, but it doesn’t matter. I don’t want you or Charlotte to die. Everything will be okay.”

  Even though I said that, I didn’t really believe it. I was really just hoping that Myster and Cyberkid might somehow catch ZZZ after I died. That way, at least my death would not be in vain.

  “Ugh, now I remember why I hate teenagers,” said ZZZ with a grimace. “They take everything so seriously. But regardless, good choice, Beams. Now lay on the bed and I’ll read you a bedtime story to help you sleep if you need it. I know quite a few good ones, though they all end with the main character dying at the end.”

  I bit my lower lip, but I said nothing. I just took one step toward the bed, but that was all I got to do before something smashed through the window next to the wardrobe and cut through the curtain covering it. The object hit the wood floor with a thunk and rolled toward ZZZ, who stared at it in confusion.

  “What the heck?” said ZZZ. “Where did this come from?”

  The small object—some kind of metal ball with spikes—stopped at ZZZ’s feet. Before ZZZ could react, it exploded, unleashing a cloud of some kind of purple gas that completely covered ZZZ’s body. ZZZ screamed in surprise, but his scream was cut off by loud hacking and coughing.

  At the same time, the sleepiness that had hung over my head since I entered the house vanished. Just as I realized that, I saw the ax hurtle toward Greta and Charlotte. Greta screamed, but I didn’t even think. I just acted.

  I unleashed a powerful laser blast at the ax head. The ax head exploded, sending bits and pieces of metal flying everywhere, but most of it missed Greta and Charlotte, thankfully. Greta, however, was still screaming, while Charlotte stirred and raised her head sleepily, an annoyed look on her face.

  “Ugh, what’s with all the screaming?” said Charlotte with a yawn. “I’m trying to sleep here.”

  That was when Charlotte saw me and her annoyance instantly vanished, replaced by a mixture of lust and excitement. “Oh my god, is that really Beams?” She looked down at her ropes in confusion. “Wait, why am I tied up?”

  “I’ll explain later,” I said as I rushed over. I shot two beams at their ropes, instantly freeing both girls.

  Because both Greta and Charlotte had been tied up for so long, they fell forward. I caught them both, which was harder than it sounds, because while neither Greta nor Charlotte was particularly heavy, combined their weight was more than I expected.

  Charlotte immediately draped her arms around my neck and said, “My hero! I don’t know what’s going on, but I can get used to being caught by you.”

  “Okay,” I said. I looked at Greta with concern. “Greta, are you all right? Did he hurt you?”

  Greta gulped. She was shivering, even though it was actually quite warm. “I’m okay. Just tired is all.”

  I couldn’t help but smile when she said that, but then I heard an impatient throat-clearing from Charlotte and looked at her. “What’s the matter?”

  “Aren’t you going to ask how I am, too?” asked Charlotte, looking more than a little impatient.

  Before I could answer that, I heard crackling in my helmet and then Cyberkid’s voice. “Beams! What’s the current situation? I lobbed one of my gas bombs into the house through the window. Did it get ZZZ?”

  “Yeah, it did,” I said. “And I saved Greta and Charlotte. They’re safe.”

  “Whew,” said Cyberkid. “That was a close one. But what about ZZZ? Did my gas knock him out?”

  I glanced over at the wardrobe just in time to see ZZZ disappear through the doorway out into the hall. “Damn it, he’s getting away! I’m after him.”

  I let go of Charlotte, who fell onto the floor with a yelp, but I gently though quickly lay down Greta. Telling them both to stay put, I stood up, dashed out of the room, and out into the dark hallway. I activated the flashlight on my helmet, which showed ZZZ turn down the stairs. He was heading to the front door, I realized, and would get away if I didn’t catch up with him quickly.

  Putting on a burst of speed, I grabbed the railing of the second story and launched myself over. I landed on the first floor just as ZZZ reached the bottom of the stairs. He tried to run toward the door, but I tackled him to the floor. I got on top of him and wrapped my hands around his neck, intending to choke him until he passed out, but just as I did that, a sudden drowsiness came over me. My grip around his neck weakened and ZZZ shoved me off his body.

  I landed on the floor hard. I tried to get up, but ZZZ’s foot came out of nowhere and struck me in the chest, knocking me down again. Still, I tried to rise, only to hear the click of a gun, causing me to look up into the barrel of ZZZ’s gun.

  “Stupid boy,” said ZZZ, breathing hard. “Brave, but very, very stupid. You may have saved the girls, but you still can’t save your life.”

  Right before ZZZ could pull the trigger, the front door blasted off its hinges. ZZZ had just enough time to glance at the heavy, oak door before it slammed into him. He smashed into the stairs with a sickening crunch of bones and wood. I didn’t even hear him move under the door, although I did spot a trickle of blood leak out from under the door and onto the steps.

  My drowsiness went away immediately. At the same time, I looked over at the doorway, wondering who had done that.

  Standing in the doorway, his muscular form silhouetted by the sun outside, was Myster. He was breathing in and out hard, cold anger on his handsome features.

  “That was for my daughter,” said Myster, his tone full of ice cold anger. “No one touches my daughter and lives.”

  “Well, I can’t say ZZZ is in danger of living, then,” I said, glancing at the door on the stairs.

  Myster’s anger vanished, replaced by concern. “Beams, are you okay? What about Charlotte and the other girl?”

  “They’re upstairs,” I said. “They’re both fine. You don’t need to—”

  Myster didn’t even stop. He just flew up the stairs and down the hall, leaving me all alone at the bottom of the steps with ZZZ,
who was still crushed under the door, not moving an inch.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  One week later …

  I sat outside the Golden City Cafe, sipping my coffee and scrolling through my smartphone. The air was chilly today, but I had remembered to bring my jacket this time, so I wasn’t as cold as I could have been. The hot coffee, with French vanilla creamer, helped keep me warm, too.

  Every now and then I’d look up and down the street for Greta, but I didn’t see her. Perhaps I shouldn’t have worried. I was early for our date, after all, which was pretty ironic given how I was normally late. But Rubberman had let me get off work early today, so I’d been able to get here ahead of time. I even had time to stop by the flower shop and get a rose for Greta, which was currently hiding inside my jacket so I could give it to her as a surprise. I couldn’t wait to see the look on her face.

  As I scrolled through my feed, I saw an article from the Golden City Journal with the headline ‘INFAMOUS ASSASSIN ZZZ TRIAL DATE SET.’ Below it was ZZZ’s mugshot. He still looked as sleepy as always, but I thought he also looked angry, even hateful. It was like his picture was aware that I was staring at it and was trying to threaten me with its look, though the neck brace made it harder to take seriously.

  Seeing ZZZ’s picture reminded me of what happened after his defeat. Shortly after Myster went upstairs to check on Greta and Charlotte, the police barged in. They immediately arrested ZZZ, who had somehow managed to survive being crushed under a heavy oak door punched by a superhero, although he had apparently broken at least three ribs and his right arm, as well as gained assorted cuts and scars on his face. That didn’t stop the police from hauling him to Golden City Penitentiary, where he was kept in solitary confinement so he couldn’t use his powers to escape. It was good to see that ZZZ was going to court, though I wondered who would possibly want to represent him in court.

  With ZZZ’s plan foiled, Myster had told me that he, Cyberkid, and Charlotte were going back to North Wood to resume their operations there. Myster had also asked me for my phone number; well, he actually asked for Charlotte, who had apparently pestered her dad to ask for it for her. I had to turn down his request, partly because I didn’t want to get calls from Charlotte at all times of the day and night, partly because I found the idea of a grown man asking for a teenage boy’s phone number for his bratty daughter simultaneously sad and creepy.