by Wood, Lauren
Before I get too far away, he stopped me and pulled me closer. I knew that I wanted this, but I still try to resist it. It seemed like the thing to do.
“What are you doing Scott?”
“What I should have done a long damn time ago. You don't know how much I have thought of you since you been gone Blair.”
“I didn't go anywhere Scott.”
“You didn't have to. You left me and that was far enough.”
I didn't really know what to say and I was thankful that I didn't have to say anything, because he finally did what needed to be done. His lips pressed against mine and all of the feelings from the last couple of weeks and from the last ten years came back. They floated over me and before I knew what I was doing, my arms were around his neck and I was pulling him closer. This is what I'd been waiting for.
Scott was not a man that wanted to wait very long. He had never been very patient when it got to a certain point and I could tell that he was at that point. His eyes were glazed over, and he was pushing me down onto the pillows that we have been sitting on. Before I knew what was going on, I was underneath him and he was pulling up my skirt.
I know that I was supposed to stop him. At least tell him to slow down and let me think. I had a boyfriend after all. There was a million reasons why I should stop what was going on, but I couldn't think of one that actually mattered. The only thing that mattered, was filling up the hole that had been left because of him.
When his hands raced up my thighs, all I could think about was him on top of me and how he was going to feel inside of me. I remembered the feeling well from before and I never wanted it to go away. Why had I waited so long for this? Why hadn’t I seen what was here the whole time?
My panties were ripped as they were dragged to the side, my skirt shoved up to my waist. There was usually a gentleness to me and Scott, or there had been when we were younger, but now it was replaced with something else altogether different. I could feel his need and it was overpowering. I wanted to tune it out and push it away, but I couldn’t. I really didn’t want to. Fuck, this was confusing.
Instead, I lifted my legs up to his waist as his body pinned me where I laid. I knew that there was a part of me that was never going to be able to get over Scott. He was my first love and the familiar pleasure of him pushing inside of me, took my breath away and set my mind right, all at the same time.
“Please Scott. Just do it.”
He growled at me and I knew that he was beyond his point of no return. When we were together before, I used to toy with him, see how raring to go I could get him and then stop in the midst. I tried to drive him crazy and when he got this predatory look in his eyes, I knew that I had gone too far. From the looks of things, I had gone too far this time, because he was looking at me as if he wanted to consume me. It was hard to look away and he held my gaze as he pushed deeper.
I didn’t hold onto him, letting him have the space he needed to move and please me fully. It had been too long since he’d been inside of me and I’d forgotten how good he felt. He was bigger than Dominic and it felt like he was stretching me for the first time, all over again. I whimpered as he dove in deeper, not stopping when he hit bottom, pushing deeper still like he could penetrate my womb.
Whimpering, I could feel an orgasm on the horizon, and it felt too soon. There hadn’t been any warm up, just straight to it and it was hard for me to deny how badly I wanted a moment. Scott was pushing deep, over and over again, and all I could do was hold on and hope that I was able to keep up.
“Fuck Scott. You have new moves.”
He made me cry out as I came. It felt like he was rubbing my clit with each thrust in and he was grinding in sideways once he hit the end. It all ended up being more than I could handle and I cried out loudly as he took my body over like it was his. At the moment, it sure the hell felt like his, far more than my own.
“Do you like them?”
He chuckled when I wasn’t able to answer and I wished he didn’t know what he was doing to me, but Scott knew. I was coming, clenching, crying out his name. He knew exactly what I was doing, and he moved even faster to make it last longer.
Scott was the man that made me realize that an orgasm didn’t have to last seconds. It could last minutes, or I could have multiple orgasms that lasted just as long. He was doing that now and I didn’t realize until now how good that actually felt.
The good feeling was quickly overrun by a feeling of my body been split apart. I had to push back on him, and he made a snickering sound that I would have been offended by, if I wasn’t turned on as much as I was. There was no room for pride when I was doing my best to hold it together.
“Come on Blair, you’re not done. I remember many times, I could make you come much more.”
His words were chastising me, and I wanted to tell him off. But I couldn’t, because even though he had slowed down, it wasn’t enough to actually give me a break. It was still building up and I was poised to tumble down again. I think that he knew it. But he didn’t care. Scott had always liked to push me past my limits. It was hard for me to know what he had in store. I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to take much more though.
The slow movement was enough to make me feel less hysterical, but it didn’t change how good it felt. It was still driving me towards the same destination as before, just not as quickly. Really nothing changed, I was still calling out his name a moment later.
“Please Scott.”
He growled at me and moved faster. My body was clenched, and I was unable to respond, just hold on. He obviously wasn’t going to quit until he was ready. All I could do was cling and explode, repeatedly.
When he’d finally had enough, I felt like a puddle underneath him and then I was filled with his hot seed. Scott moved off of me and I was still lying on the pillows when he came back. I don’t know how much time had passed, just that I couldn’t move. I wasn’t going to be able to.
“Look Blair, you don’t know how badly I want to stay, but I really have to go. I got this meeting that I put off, but I can’t put this one off. You said you had one as well, right?”
I nodded my head, but in truth, I could hear the words, understood their meaning, but all strung together like it was, I wasn’t able to understand it at all. My head hurt and I was confused. What had just happened?
I heard the door shut and I was too stoned to move. I had just come over here to get some information from him. How did it come to this?
Scott
After all this time and finally getting what I wanted, I couldn't believe that I just took off. It's exactly what I did though. I didn't have anywhere to go and even though I did have a meeting to go to, I certainly wasn't going to attend it. All I can think about was what had just happened. How could I think about anything else, when her cries were still echoing in my ears?
The one thing I didn't understand though, was why I had left in the first place. It had been hot, passionate, perfect and I’d just taken off. I couldn’t tell myself enough how disgusted I was at that action at the moment.
There's just too much to think about and I was questioning everything. I had left her in a soggy lump on the floor and I wasn't feeling too good about that. For everything that had happened, I certainly didn't help it end well.
It was just confusing with Blair and while I had wanted to be with her, there was some serious conversations that had to happen. Maybe it would have, if I hadn't taken off like I did.
Now I wasn't too sure what I was supposed to do. It would have been easier to go back, but every minute that I stayed away, the more I realized the error of my ways. She was not going to let me back in without some kind of conversation. She would want to know why, and the problem was, I had no idea. We have known each other and been friends for so long, that it was impossible to fully understand what made me feel this way.
The phone rang and I was afraid that it was Blair. If I answered, then I was going to have to figure out what I was going to say to her
.
It was actually my assistant and she wanted to know where I was. I told her that I was going to take some time off, but apparently the boss was on site and looking for me. It was a good thing that I had left her house when I had, because if not, I would have been balls deep inside of her and that wouldn't have done any good.
“Go ahead and tell Dennis that I will be in. Just give me a few minutes. I am not too far away.”
She agreed and got off the phone quickly. I had a feeling that it was because of the simple fact that Dennis was there. My assistant was a very good assistant, but she was also easily distracted. One of those distractions was the fact that she had a thing for Dennis. I could see her now smiling at him in the way she did and stumbling over her words like she had never spoken a man before. It was entertaining for me and partially that was because I knew that it would never happen. Mary was almost thirty years older than Dennis, but I don't think she really cared.
The thoughts of Mary and Dennis together in that small waiting room had me smiling to myself and I was able to get to work without thinking more about Blair. It was a good thing, because the last thing I needed was to have a hard on when I got in there. Dennis didn't come by the shop very often and when he did, it was usually bad news.
When I got there, Dennis was standing awkwardly by my office door and I could almost guarantee that he wished it was unlocked at the moment. Mary was leaning up against her desk and for the life of me, I couldn't help but smile at her. I know I was only encouraging it, but I couldn't help it. It was just too funny.
“Great Scott. I am glad you are here. I was hoping that we could talk.”
“Of course, what's the problem?”
“Why don't we take it in your office?”
If his tone wasn't so serious, I would have thought that it was because he was trying to get away from Mary but now, I wasn't sure. I had a bad feeling and it didn't get any better when I closed the door of the office. He waited for me to take a seat on the other side of the desk and then he squared his shoulders and gave me this look.
“So, what's going on Dennis?”
I was almost afraid of what he was going to say, but I had to know.
“I hear that you didn't go to a meeting today? Is that true?”
For a moment, I was a bit shocked because it had only been a couple of hours ago. How would he have known about it so quickly?”
“Um yeah. Something came up and I rescheduled. I put them up for the night and we're going to meet in the morning.”
“That is going to cost a lot of extra money. Could you have not just made the damn meeting you set up and not put them all up with all the bells and whistles?”
I didn't know what to say and quite frankly, I was a bit perplexed. Dennis was never too worried about what I did, as long as I kept selling. I had the highest numbers, and I couldn't believe that there seemed to be a problem.
“I'm confused Dennis, usually you don't have much say in what I do around here. Did they call you and express concern? Is there something going on that I don't know?”
“Well for one the William’s contract is important to us. I know you may not see it that way, because of how much money it is going to bring in, but that is only one of several companies that they own. I was really hoping that you would put your best foot forward. That's why I gave you this account and not someone else that is less seasoned.”
Dennis looked upset, but I felt like there was something else going on. And it wasn't just about he said it was.
“Dennis, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that it was going to be a big deal. Do you want me to try to smooth things over and go meet them tonight?”
It seemed to get a smile on his face, but he was still acting strangely, and I asked him again what was going on.
For a moment I didn't think he was going to say anything. But then he finally rubbed his hand over his face and told me that he was having trouble at home.
“So, it's you and Janine?”
He blew out a breath loudly and agreed that it was. “You would be surprised how difficult marriage is. I think you have made the right choice.”
“In what way?”
“I know your reputation. You don't seem too worry about much of anything.”
“Well I wouldn't say that my reputation is all that accurate.”
‘You don't have a different girl every night?”
I smiled at Dennis and tried to figure out what was on his mind. We went out a couple of times and we always had a pretty good time, but I think he was fishing for an invite.
“Yeah, I do but that's just because I can't have the one, I want.”
He was leaning back in the chair and looked off into the distance for a moment.
“Yeah there is always one that gets away isn't there?”
Now I’m interested.
“Is there for you?”
I really didn't want to have this conversation with him. It was easier to talk about him and his memories, because then I wouldn’t have to think about Blair. I'd never told anybody about Blair, besides Lisa and I don't think I would be able to now. There had always been something about Blair and the more I thought about it, the more I realize that she was something that I had to keep close to my heart.
Dennis on the other hand, had a ‘Blair’ in his life as well. Although his Blair was named Leslie and it made me wonder if I would look that way in twenty years if I didn't get my Blair back. If I let her get married to another man and I watched her date man after man again, would that be me a little further down the line?
At first, talking to Dennis was just a good way to keep my mind out of things, but then my mind drifted to questions of what would happen if I let her go. I didn't want to look the way Dennis did at this moment and I felt like he would be able to tell me whatever it was that he had done wrong, so I wouldn’t have to. Sort of like a cautionary tale. Would I make or had I already made, the same mistakes that kept him away from Leslie?
The faraway look in his eyes was almost immediate, when I asked him what it was he was thinking about.
“I was a young man then and I made a lot of mistakes. I thought that what I had, wasn't enough. I thought that since I had Leslie, that I should have someone else as well. I guess I thought that she wasn’t enough, when she always was. I was just an idiot.”
“So, what happened?”
“What do you think happened Scott? I played her and she wasn't that into forgiveness. I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I thought that she would come around and forgive me, but she never did.”
“How long ago was that?”
I need perspective. How long was it going to take for me to look that sad if I lost her?
“Almost twenty-five years if you can believe it. And the crazy thing is, not a day goes by that I don't wonder what would have happened if I would have done things differently. You know?”
It was clear by the time line involved, Dennis was always going to wonder, and I was sorry for that. I didn't want to be that way. Now I started to question if the fact that I walked off on her ,would be the defining moment in our relationship. Was that going to be the moment that I realized that I’d screwed it up for good?
Me and Dennis went out for a little bit after the conversation we had, but it got me thinking. At first, I’d been thankful that Dennis had stop me from thinking about Blair and what had just happened, but now I was worried and all I could think about was her. And the fact that she was going to be going out with Dominic tonight and he was going to be popping the big question.
I had to do something, or I was going to be like Dennis, wishing that I had changed everything. Now, I was the one second guessing everything and I tried to call Blair, but she didn't answer. I hated the idea of thinking that she was just going to be out with Dominic. I couldn't lose her to a man like that.
Blair
Not only did Scott confuse the crap out of me by leaving, but he also left me sore and walking a little funny. I of course, was neve
r going to tell him that, because his head didn't even need to get any bigger than it was, but it was hard for me to get myself together. He had wrecked me mentally and physically and I too had to cancel a meeting. I just couldn't handle the idea of facing people right now.
All I could do was lay where I sat for a while. I stared up at the ceiling and finally I got up. I wasn't even in my own house and I had to leave. He had already taken off and I wasn't very sure that I had anything to do with work. As soon as we were done, Scott went into the bathroom and came back out a completely different person. I don't know if I even wanted to know what happened in there.
After I got dressed and started to get my mind right, I realized not only what I had done, but what day it was. It was Valentine’s day and I was meeting my boyfriend of three years in only a couple of hours to have dinner with him. Right after I had done, what I had done with Scott. It felt right at the moment, but now it was feeling really wrong. There was no way that what we did was right. I knew better. I knew what was right and what was wrong, and this had not been right.
It didn't matter that his hands and mouth and all of the rest of him still twisted me into knots, like I was a pretzel. It didn't matter that I’d probably came more in twenty minutes with Scott, than I had a year with my boyfriend. None of that really mattered. All that mattered, was that I was with Dominic and I knew better.
That got me moving a little faster as I left the house, locking the door behind me. I looked back one time and knew then that I would never look at Scott’s place the same. How could I walk into the living room now, without looking at the exact spot where I had made such a bad decision?
When I got back to my place, I took a very long shower. I scrubbed my skin several times like I could somehow wash away everything that I'd done. I didn't think it was possible, but I liked to think that I might be. Which made me rub myself vigorously, until my skin was red. I didn't feel like I was any cleaner though.
