A Headstrong Woman

by Maness, Michelle

  “I’m certain.”

  Janice hesitated a moment; then, her face kind and compassionate, spoke. “I’m aware that things were not altogether as they should have been between you and my son. I know he had his own room, so if that is your concern, please don’t let that stop you from accepting help.”

  Alexandria set down her fork, her eyes on her lap.

  “There is no reason for you drop your head,” her mother-in-law sat down beside her and dropped her gaze to meet Alexandria‘s. “Eli wrote me of the mess he had made of things and how deeply he regretted that he had hurt you. He never let go of things easily, even when he was a child. For what it’s worth I really believe he was starting to.”

  “Thanks, Janice,” Alexandria tried hard to smile. “I guess I could use some help,” she acknowledged.

  “You finish eating and we’ll get started,” Janice offered.

  Alexandria nodded and several minutes later was ready, at least she hoped she was ready to get started.

  Entering his room and going through his things felt awkward, like an invasion; theirs had not been that kind of marriage. They started four piles, one for charity, one for trash that needed to be discarded, one for Lilly, and another of things Janice wanted. It saddened Alexandria to realize there was really nothing of his that meant something to her. No, she did have one thing he had given her; the hair combs, she realized with some relief.

  “It’s depressing to see one’s life reduced to a series of piles,” Janice sighed as she sank to the edge of the bed.

  “There was much more to his life than these things,” Alexandria reminded the woman.

  “Thank you for reminding me,” the woman blinked back tears.

  “I think that’s it. I’ll strip the bed for laundry day and have Clay pick up these things for charity later,” Carolyn mused as she eyed the room.

  “I want to go ahead and carry this photo to Lilly’s room,” Alexandria stood and reached for the photo of Elijah and Martha on their wedding day. She entered the room and smiled as she watched Lilly “feed” her baby doll.

  “I’m feeding my baby,” she announced.

  “I see that,” Alexandria nodded and moved across the room to put the picture on the nightstand.

  “What’s that?” Lilly abandoned her doll and clambered onto the bed.

  “It’s a picture of your first mommy and your daddy on their wedding day,” Alexandria explained. Lilly, her small face crumpled in a frown, reached out and touched the glass over the photo. She then climbed into Alexandria’s lap and clung to her.

  “I love you, Lilly,” Alexandria stroked the child’s back as she laid her head against Lilly’s.

  “I love you too, Mama.”

  “I can’t thank you enough for how wonderful you’ve been with Lilly,” Janice spoke from the doorway; Alexandria startled.

  “I think I fell in love with her the very day she was born,” Alexandria admitted. “Mama was worried about Martha; she knew how sick she had been and stopped into deliver some soup and check in on everyone. Martha had Elijah bring us up to see Lilly.

  “She was so small and delicate; her little eyelashes nearly disappeared against her creamy cheeks. I lost my heart right then. I looked for excuses to come and visit.”

  “I wish I could have been here the day she was born,” Janice’s face was wistful.

  “Was I real little?” Lilly leaned back to look at Alexandria with interest.

  “You were tiny and your hair was so downy you almost couldn’t see it, like the finest spun silk. Your mama was so proud of you, she was as puffed up as old Mr. Peacock at Grandma and Grandpa’s farm when he goes to strutting around all full of himself.”

  Her description made Lilly giggle.

  “I growed.”

  “Grew,” Alexandria corrected, “and, yes, you did. You thought you were quite big after you learned to walk; you decided you had to start climbing everything. I thought your poor mama was going to pull her hair out.”

  “I’m so glad you were such good friends with Martha, Alexandria, it would break my heart if no one could remember her babyhood. I’m afraid that the general store kept us from more than a handful of visits. Most of my information is from letters,” Janice’s smile was sad.

  “Martha was one of the kindest people I ever knew and Mama probably knows even more stories than I do. It is sad that some of those will be lost.”

  “Or maybe not,” Carolyn spoke as she entered the room. “This was in the bottom of the chest of drawers. I decided to double check that they were empty and found this in the back.”

  She handed Alexandria a book and she opened the pages. “It’s Martha’s diary! This should be kept for Lilly.”

  “Definitely,” Janice nodded.

  “I wonder if there were more.” Alexandria mused.

  “Maybe, we can look around and see.”

  “Can I play now, Mama?” Lilly was growing impatient with the new topic of conversation.

  “Of course,” Alexandria kissed the top of her head and set her on her feet. She stood and the three women moved downstairs to have a cup of coffee.

  “It looks warm but it is chilly!” Anna announced as she entered the back door with Michael.

  “We took care of the necessary chores at home,” Michael assured his mother.

  “Thank you, Son.”

  “Welcome; I’m gonna go find the men,” he kissed his mom’s cheek before slipping back out the door.

  “What have you all been doing?” Anna asked as they all seated themselves around the table.

  “Going through Eli’s things,” Alexandria informed her.

  Anna grimaced.

  “Now that that’s done I’m not sure what comes next,” Janice admitted. The women hadn’t much more than started sipping their coffee than the men came spilling into the hall shedding coats and hats as they came.

  “You have any more where that came from?” Clay nodded at his wife’s coffee.

  “Of course, you all have a seat and I’ll get you some coffee and some cookies to go with it.” Carolyn rose and Janice and Alexandria rose with her.

  “The only thing that sounds better than coffee is coffee and cookies,” Nathaniel commented as he seated himself beside his wife.

  Janice grabbed the cookies and milk and sugar for the coffee while Alexandria and her mother filled and handed out cups of coffee.

  “Things look to be in good shape around here,” Nathaniel commented before taking a drink of his coffee. “Which brings me to a matter of business, Alexandria. What exactly are you plans now?”

  “I honestly don’t know; I guess I’m unsure what my options even are,” she admitted and forced her hands to still in her lap, rather than wringing them in anxiety.

  “What about Lilly?” he queried as he watched her closely.

  Alexandria clenched her hands in her lap and took a deep breath. “I’m only her step-mother; you’re her natural grandparents so I guess it’s your decision to make.”

  “I’ve seen you with her and I know how deeply you love her, Alexandria; do wish to retain custody of her?” It was Janice who spoke now.

  Alexandria felt tears spring to her eyes. “I’d like to, yes.”

  “I would take her in a heartbeat if I didn’t see and know how much you mean to each other but I can and do and I can’t do that to either of you.” Janice looked on the verge of tears herself.

  “Thank you,” it came out a whisper. “I,” Alexandria had to stop and clear her throat. “I couldn’t love her anymore if she were my own.” Alexandria accepted the handkerchief her father passed to her.

  “You are her mother, Alexandria, birth alone does not a mother make; you have a mother’s heart and Lilly has made herself at home there and you in hers. We want visitation of course,” Janice informed her.

  “Absolutely! I would never dream of keeping her from you,” Alexandria assured them.

  “That brings us to the next bit of business then. I want you to know yo
u have a home with us should you ever want it or need it,” Nathaniel informed her.

  “And you are more than welcome for you and Lilly to join us,” her father added.

  “We’ve been discussing it this morning and what we want to know is if you wish to remain here? We know you have no experience ranching but we know you are an intelligent woman and we will be available if you need us,” Nathaniel offered.

  Alexandria’s eyes widened. Run the ranch herself?

  “Jonathon, Mr. Stewart, has agreed to stay on as foreman and is more than capable of helping you learn the lay of the land so to speak. With his help and your father and brother checking in, we believe you could learn to run this place by yourself.”

  She glanced at Mr. Stewart and found him watching her; his expression was neutral but his eyes seemed to be conveying confidence in her. Alexandria felt her heart lift with hope, she could, couldn’t she?

  “This place should be kept and maintained for Lilly,” she mused aloud.

  “A part of it, yes, but I don’t think that you should work and maintain it all these years to end up with nothing. This is a large ranch thanks to Elijah’s forethought in buying up small parcels over the years. I propose we set a part of it in trust for Lilly upon reaching her majority and that the remainder should be yours. If we take that approach, you will be getting your investment and work out of it and her part will be protected should you remarry.”

  “I seriously doubt that will be an issue,” Alexandria stated confidently. Her mother and father frowned but said nothing.

  “Either way, I think that is the best approach,” Nathaniel offered.

  Alexandria nodded her agreement. “I want to do it,” she announced; excitement was starting to take root.

  “It will be difficult to run this place and raise Lilly alone,” Janice warned, “but we think you are more than capable.”

  “I could stay and help with Lilly for a while, just until she learns her way around ranching. That way she won’t be worrying over Lilly’s care,” Anna offered.

  Clay and Caroline exchanged glances before seeming to reach an unspoken agreement.

  “That’s Alexandria’s decision, though she might appreciate your help.”

  “Thanks, Anna, I think I’ll take you up on that,” Alexandria smiled in her direction.

  “There are papers and things we will need to go over and sign, and there is a lien on the property at moment but if the ranch continues to do as well as it has been you shouldn’t have any trouble paying it off. I would for you if I were able.”

  “Okay, I’m sure I can manage and if I have questions Daddy isn’t that far away,” Alexandria nodded confidently. She was going to do it; she was going to be independent!

  Chapter Seven

  Alexandria sat in the desk chair; Mr. Stewart was seated opposite her. She knew he had agreed to remain on and help her but she suspected the request she was about to make might surprise him.

  “Nathaniel and my father prepared and tutored me quite well in the business end of this ranch and I understand that you agreed to help me obtain general knowledge of what each man here does. I, however, would like to work side by side out there with the men and see what they do for myself,” Alexandria explained her reason for asking him to meet with her. She watched his brows wing up in surprise as he shifted in his chair.

  “With all due respect, Mrs. Morris, that is hardly necessary.”

  “I feel it is. Look, Mr. Stewart, let’s be honest here. Some of those men are probably less than thrilled at the idea of working for a woman. I myself am not comfortable asking them to do something that I haven’t even tried. I would like an opportunity to show them I respect them and what they do and to earn their respect. I feel this is the best way to do that.”

  Jonathon studied her a moment; he knew he was going to regret this.

  “Alright; you want to work like a man? No skirts, no side saddle; you need sturdy britches, chaps, a long sleeved top, a hat and water proof over coat. Oh yeah, and a bandana. Can you meet those terms?” Jonathon laid his offer on the table.

  Alexandria opened her mouth, closed it, and with chin held high nodded.

  “Good, I’ll see you first thing tomorrow.”

  “After lunch,” Alexandria countered.

  Jonathon paused in standing and met her direct gaze; he nodded. “After lunch it is. Dress warmly, it looks like rain.” With that Jonathon stood, placed his hat on his head and excused himself.

  Alexandria hurried to go through the crate of Eli’s clothes that had not yet been donated to the church. After a fair amount of digging she had found a few things that she thought would work. A few alterations and she laid her clothes aside to have a quick lunch. By the time Mr. Stewart arrived at the house Alexandria was pulling on the boots she had found.

  Jonathon chatted politely with Anna as he waited for Alexandria to appear. When she did it was all he could do not to laugh; Anna did. Alexandria had hemmed a pair of Elijah pants and taken in the waist, leaving the material to balloon from her slender waist. Her shirt, one of her own, only emphasized how badly the pants fit. Her hat, a floppy gardening number, wouldn’t last a moment in the rain. The bandana at least fit. When his gaze landed on her feet it was to find boots at least two sizes too big on them.

  “I couldn’t make the chaps fit,” she admitted as she pulled on the coat she had dug out. She rolled the sleeves several times before pulling on the too large pair of gloves she’d shoved in her pockets.

  “It’ll be alright today,” Jonathon muttered. It was probably the only thing that was alright for the day. “Let’s go,” Jonathon opened the door for her and waited.

  Alexandria was relieved to find that he had already saddled the horses. She had plenty of experience at it but Elijah’s horse, which she would be using, was seventeen hands tall and not easily saddled.

  Jonathon waited for her to mount before showing her the property boundaries as Elijah had started his training. When it started raining, Jonathon asked Alexandria, where she was slumped miserably in her saddle, if she was ready to go back to the house. She pulled herself up straight and refused. By the time they joined the men Alexandria’s hat was dumping water on her by the brim full and she was soaked. Water had found its way in her ill-fitting clothing and she was so cold it was all she could do to keep her teeth from chattering. She had long ago discarded her too large gloves and her too large boots were rubbing blisters onto her heels. Several of the men watched her but said little.

  Jonathon finally had his fill of it and with a firm tug on Raven’s reigns, turned to escort back to the house. She was quiet on the return trip, her shoulders no longer quite as straight as they had been a few hours earlier.

  “You need to get dry,” he informed her as he helped her from the saddle. “Are you still determined to do this?”

  Jonathon watched her chin come up and knew the answer. “Then I’ll teach you, really teach you. But first, tomorrow we’re going to town and you’re purchasing clothing that fits,” he informed her. “Come on, let me see your heels, I know they have to be raw,” he said as he started for the house.

  Alexandria stared at his retreating back and wondered how he had known about her heels. She followed him and claimed a seat in the rocking chair he indicated. Alexandria couldn’t stop the small yelp that escaped when Jonathon pulled off first her boots and then her socks. The backs of her heels were bloodied.

  Jonathon sighed and met her gaze. “I’ll give you one thing, Mrs. Morris, you have an iron will,” his tone held begrudging admiration. “I’ll be right back with some ointment. Your hands are raw too aren’t they?” he surveyed them before leaving the porch. Alexandria leaned back in her chair; she felt like a chastised child. She had only been trying to meet his requirements after all. He returned moments later and Alexandria reached for the jar of ointment.

  “I’ll do it,” Jonathon informed her.

  Alexandria intended to argue but he was already applying the ointmen
t with surprising gentleness.

  “Do me a favor, next time tell me when you’re soaked through and through and your heels and are being rubbed raw, okay?” he glanced up at her. He found her blinking back tears but nodding in agreement. He applied more of the ointment to her hands.

  “Thank you,” she said softly when he was through. It had been both a humbling and discomforting experience for Alexandria. She wasn’t used to letting anyone but her family look after her. Alexandria was about to enter the house when he stopped her.

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t more help today. It’s not that I think a woman is incapable, I just don’t believe you should have to. I’ll see you in the morning and we’ll get you properly outfitted for the job,” he told her.

  “Thank you,” she said again and watched him walk across the yard to the barn. Her foreman was turning out to be an interesting man, she decided as she entered the house. She spent dinner being grilled about Jonathon by her sister; then enlisted her sister’s help in taking her measurements.

  ***

  The next morning Alexandria dressed in her hated widow’s weeds and prepared for a trip to town. She again emerged from the house to find things ready and waiting; the team already pulled up close to the porch.

  “Good morning, Mrs. Morris,” Jonathon greeted as his gaze slid over her. She looked stark in her mourning clothes. Her face was pale and her green eyes too solemn for someone as young as she must be. She had been through more than her fair share, he reminded himself. Even if he didn’t relish the task ahead of him he had made a promise to Elijah and he would keep it. Besides, Alexandria was going to need all the help she could get though she didn’t know that yet.

  “Good morning, Mr. Stewart,” she returned. He helped her into the buggy before setting their course for town.

  Alexandria was quiet for a moment before she turned to look at her foreman thoughtfully.

  “What was she like?”

  “Emily?” Jonathon glanced at her.

  Alexandria nodded and watched him smile.

  “She was incredibly soft hearted, loved kids,” Jonathon fell quiet. “It broke her heart when our first two were stillborn.”