It Had To Be You: An absolutely laugh-out-loud romance novel

by Keris Stainton

  ‘You broke his heart?’

  ‘No. I don’t know. Shut up. I’m trying to think.’

  ‘Sorry.’

  After a few seconds, I ask him the most pressing question. ‘How did you know?’

  ‘Oh,’ he says, shuffling on the bed again. ‘OK, well, when you introduced me to Dan, you called me your landlord and work colleague and friend. In that order.’

  Shit. ‘I didn’t mean—’

  He holds his hands up. ‘No, it’s fine. I know you didn’t. But the way it made me feel… I realised I wanted you to say “boyfriend”. I honestly hadn’t realised until right that moment. I don’t think. I mean, I knew I liked you. But hearing you introduce me like that was when I knew it wasn’t enough. And it would never be enough.’

  ‘Henry.’

  ‘And then you said you’d had a panic attack. And I thought about you there on your own. I know you weren’t on your own. I know Dan was with you and he took care of you. But I couldn’t stand the thought of it. Of you being scared. And then I couldn’t stand the thought of him taking care of you. I started thinking about what it would be like if the two of you were really serious. If he really was your dream man. And I knew I couldn’t take it. I felt like it was suffocating me.’

  ‘I’m sorry.’

  He smiles. ‘It’s not your fault.’

  I think back about all the time we’ve spent together. In the shop and at home. Brunch at Mr C’s. All the Adam bonus dinners. Henry building me a bookshelf. I can’t imagine my life without him in it. I don’t want to.

  * * *

  ‘So what do you think?’ Henry says. He’s biting his thumbnail, sliding it between his front teeth. I think about the splinter. Holding his hand. His stomach when he pulled out his knackered old T-shirt.

  ‘I think…’ I say. And then I lean forward and brush my lips across his. My eyes are still open, but he closes his, his long eyelashes brushing his cheeks. I can see the little frown line between his eyebrows and I want to smooth it out with my thumb, or kiss it away. I slide my hand around the back of his neck, my fingers up into his hair.

  I thought it would be weird, kissing Henry, after being friends for so long, but it’s not weird at all. It feels good. It feels right.

  His hands move around my waist and I let myself relax against him, my chest pressing against his. I feel him sigh against my mouth, and I part my lips, my tongue grazing his bottom lip, slipping into his mouth. He opens his mouth, deepening the kiss, and I finally close my eyes.

  With Dan, when we kissed, I couldn’t make my brain be quiet. With Henry, I feel like I’m underwater. Or floating in space. Everything is dark, warm, velvety. And then the blackness is interrupted with bursts of light.

  Fireworks.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  The following morning I’m making a coffee in the kitchen when Henry comes in. He’s in his pyjama bottoms and holey T-shirt and I want to slide my hands up underneath it and touch his skin.

  ‘Morning,’ he says, his voice still croaky with sleep.

  I smile at him. ‘Morning.’

  He didn’t stay in my room. Not all night anyway. He stayed for a while. And we kissed so much that my lips felt sore and swollen, and my cheeks hurt from smiling. I didn’t sleep much, but when I did I dreamt about him. Not in the park though. Everywhere. And then I woke up stupidly early, showered and dressed and came downstairs to make breakfast.

  ‘Picnic today,’ he says, pressing up against me.

  I tip my head back and he kisses me, his hands curving around my neck, fingers pressing into my hair. I want him to lift me up on the countertop and pull my dress up over my head.

  ‘Missed you,’ he says against my mouth.

  I laugh. ‘Shut up.’

  ‘Can’t believe I get to kiss you,’ he says, dragging his lips along my jaw.

  I slide my hands under his T-shirt and dig my thumbs into his waist. He wriggles under my hands. Ticklish.

  ‘Oh. My. God,’ I hear Freya say.

  I lean back from Henry’s kiss and peep at her over his shoulder. She’s wearing a black lace bralette and red satin football shorts. I’m not even going to ask.

  ‘Don’t turn round,’ I tell Henry. ‘She’s barely dressed.’

  He drops his forehead down on my shoulder as Freya scoffs. ‘Prude. You two deserve each other.’ She grins. ‘Actually, you really do.’ She crosses the kitchen, bumping a chair out of her way with her hip and wraps her arms around us both. ‘So happy you finally worked it out.’

  ‘Thanks.’ I grin at her.

  She reaches up and musses Henry’s hair. ‘And so glad I don’t have to keep not telling her your guilty secret.’

  ‘Thanks,’ Henry tells her without turning around. ‘You were a great help.’

  He turns his head so his lips brush my neck and I gasp.

  ‘Oh fucking hell, not in the kitchen,’ Freya says. ‘Pubes on the counter are way worse than dishes in the sink.’

  ‘Oh my god, Freya!’ I say.

  As she leaves the room, I hear her yell, ‘Adam! Celine! Don’t go in the kitchen! Bea and Henry are getting it on.’

  ‘Yes!’ Adam bellows. ‘Fucking finally!’

  Followed by the sound of Celine vomiting.

  * * *

  The sun is shining and Celine’s brought picnic blankets and a big plastic sheet. She’s so organised.

  ‘What do you think of this one?’ she asks, passing me some Rightmove details she’s printed off the internet. It’s a four bed semi with enormous rooms and original fireplaces in the living room and bedrooms, plus subway tile in the kitchen. I love subway tile.

  ‘It’s lovely,’ I tell her, as I flick through the photos. ‘No garden though.’ Just a big paved yard.

  ‘Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. Adam says it’s near a park, but I think a garden would be lovely.’ She leans back on her arms and shifts her bum on the picnic blanket. She’s got piles. She’s been telling me. Even though I’ve asked her not to. I pass the printout to Freya.

  The next one is an end terrace with smaller rooms, fireplaces, a beautiful kitchen and a balcony off the bedroom, plus a big garden.

  ‘This one’s great,’ I say, passing it to Freya. ‘What’s wrong with it?’

  Celine glances at Adam, who’s fiddling with the barbecue. ‘Close to Adam’s mum.’

  ‘There’s nothing wrong with my mum,’ Adam says without looking up. ‘She’s a wonderful woman.’

  ‘Oh she is,’ Celine says, shaking her head at me and Freya. ‘But I don’t want her popping in every sodding day.’

  ‘Yeah,’ Adam says, striking a match. ‘She would definitely do that.’

  Celine rolls the printout up and passes it to Adam. ‘You can light the barbecue with this, hon.’

  ‘Hon?’ Freya says, reaching for the next printout.

  ‘It’s the hormones,’ Celine says.

  The next property’s not much to look at from the outside, and the bathroom and kitchen need updating, but there’s a big garden and it’s a hundred grand less than the other two.

  ‘Adam likes that one,’ Celine says. ‘Reckons he’s going to do it up himself.’

  ‘Oh god no,’ Freya says.

  ‘Oi,’ Adam says, shaking the box of matches in our direction. ‘I am man. I can make fire. I can renovate kitchen.’

  ‘You can’t even change a lightbulb,’ Celine says. ‘He always breaks the fitting.’

  ‘True,’ Adam says, flopping down next to her and resting his head on her lap. ‘But I can get a man in.’ He turns his head towards her torso and says, ‘Hello, baby!’ in a ridiculous voice.

  ‘Stop talking to my vagina,’ Celine says, running her fingers through his hair.

  I look at the two of them together and realise that if they’d come into the shop a few months ago, Henry and I would have guessed wrong. We’d have said ‘split’; that they were too different, they bicker too much, he’s too rough and it annoys her and she’s shrill and dismissi
ve. But we’d have been wrong. Because despite their differences, they love each other. And despite the way they used to, and sometimes still do, come across in public, they’re properly there for each other when it counts. Which is much more important than how their relationship looks to a couple of bored, nosy booksellers.

  ‘Have you showed them my fave?’ Adam asks, still curled up with Celine.

  ‘No,’ Celine says. ‘Because it’s bollocks.’

  ‘Show them,’ he says.

  ‘Show us,’ I copy.

  She passes me the printout. It’s a two bedroom penthouse. With a huge terrace, a bar and red leopard-patterned wallpaper in the bedroom.

  ‘This is bollocks,’ I say, rolling it up and smacking Adam on the head with it.

  He rolls off Celine’s lap. ‘It’s my dream.’

  ‘And has been since this very morning,’ Celine says. ‘If I was going to live in a penthouse, it wouldn’t be in bloody Southend.’

  ‘This disparagement of Southend has to stop,’ Adam says. ‘It’s not good for the baby.’ He sits up. ‘Oi oiiiiii! Here comes Henry.’

  He’s been for more beer.

  * * *

  The burgers smell incredible, but I can also smell the deli over the road: garlic, tomatoes, coffee. And the fumes from the traffic. My favourite smell. The smell of my life in London.

  I look around. At Celine and Adam, who are nuzzling each other and giggling. It’s kind of disturbing, but also really sweet. At Freya, who is inevitably on her phone, but who glances up and grins at me, one eyebrow raised. At Henry, who is pressed right up against me, his hand resting on my thigh, his chin on my shoulder as his lips graze my jaw.

  I remember when I Googled dreams coming true and read the suggestion that dreams just tell you what you really know – or feel – about something, but haven’t consciously recognised. I think that’s true. My subconscious knew Henry was the one for me before I did. I saw him in my dreams before I really saw him in real life.

  And I finally realise, it was never about Dan. About the man in the dream. I was looking for the wrong thing the whole time. The dream – the feeling of love and warmth and comfort it gave me – was about this. Me. Here. With my friends. With Henry.

  I tip my head back and he kisses me. And it’s slow and gentle and soft and sweet. And our teeth don’t clash and our noses don’t bump and I know that he is mine. He is meant for me.

  He’s the man of my dreams.

  * * *

  If you fell head over heels for Henry, you’ll love If You Could See Me Now by Keris Stainton, a hilarious and uplifting rom com with a twist! Get it now!

  If You Could See Me Now

  ‘ One of the funniest books I've ever read. It made me cry with laughter. I highly, highly recommend it to anyone looking for a complete gigglefest of a read!’ Kirsty Greenwood

  * * *

  Izzy Harris should have it all – but her boyfriend has been ignoring her for months, she’s been overlooked for a promotion, and the owner of her local coffee shop pervs on her every time she has a craving for a salted caramel muffin.

  * * *

  Then an unexpected turn of events gives her the boost she needed.

  * * *

  Suddenly Izzy has the confidence to do all the things she’s never dared: dump her oblivious boyfriend, turn the tables on catcallers, and put herself forward for a big pitch at work. Having to work closely with gorgeous colleague Alex is just an added perk…

  * * *

  But then her best friend has her heart broken, the pitch is way more complicated than expected, and Alex is keeping secrets. Does Izzy have what it takes to help her friend, save her career and get the guy?

  * * *

  A funny, feel-good read about finding yourself – and love – when you least expect it, for fans of The List, Just Haven’t Met You Yet, and Hot Mess.

  * * *

  Get it here!

  Hear more from Keris

  If you enjoyed It Had to Be You and can’t wait to read more from Keris Stainton, you can sign up here to be the first to know about her next book. We promise not to share your details with anyone else, and we’ll only email you when Keris has a new book out.

  Also by Keris Stainton

  Women’s Fiction

  If You Could See Me Now

  * * *

  Children’s and Young Adult

  One Italian Summer

  Lily, the Pug, and the Christmas Wish

  Counting Stars

  Spotlight on Sunny

  Starring Kitty

  Baby, One More Time (as Esme Taylor)

  All I Want For Christmas (as Esme Taylor)

  Emma Hearts LA

  Jessie Hearts NYC

  Della Says: OMG!

  * * *

  Non-fiction

  Happy Home Ed

  Calm Like a Stupid Feather

  As Delightful as a Carrot

  A Letter from Keris

  I want to say a huge thank you for choosing to read It Had to Be You. If you did enjoy it, and want to keep up to date with all my latest releases, just sign up here. Your email address will never be shared and you can unsubscribe at any time.

  I hope you loved It Had to Be You and if you did I would be very grateful if you could write a review. I’d love to hear what you think, and it makes such a difference helping new readers to discover one of my books for the first time.

  I love hearing from my readers – you can get in touch on my Facebook page, through Twitter, Goodreads or my website.

  Thanks,

  Keris Stainton

  www.keris-stainton.com

  Acknowledgements

  As ever, biggest thanks go to my lovely agent Hannah Sheppard and fabulous editor Abigail Fenton. You get me. (Also you take me to nice places. Thank you for that.)

  Thank you to everyone at Bookouture, particularly Emma Rogers for another fabulous cover; Jennie Ayres and Becca Allen for catching all my embarrassing errors, and Kim Nash and Noelle Holten for promo brilliance.

  Thanks to Keren David for taking me on a nostalgia tour of East Finchley. It’s changed a lot since I lived there and I’ve mixed the old and new in this book. And some other bits I just totally made up. (Those battered aubergines are real though, and you should try them if you get the chance. They’re from Majjo’s on Fortis Green.) To the real Mrs C (who is almost certainly no longer with us), thank you for always being lovely (and for the free food).

  Thanks to Craig Stevens for the discount bookshop info (all mistakes and made up stuff my own, obvs) – hope you like your cameo. To the various bookshops I worked in years ago and the creepy customers for all the anecdotes. To Jenni Nock for Henry’s reasons for liking Inception. To Katy Walker for tax tips (again, any errors are my own). To my Facebook friends for sexy accountancy puns, the correct word for the tip-up trolley wheelie thing (which I ignored) and for generally keeping me entertained while I avoid writing. And to Sarah Watkins for the lunch at The Diner that lasted till dinner.

  To all my group chat faves – I don’t know what I’d do without you. Apart from a lot more work. A special shout out to Aimee, Andi, Doris, Heather, Helen, Jo, Lesley, Trac and Vivi. Thank you to the wise and wonderful Mollusks for your insightful comments on romcoms, bad boyfriends, adorable boybands and more. To the Adult Lady Fans of One Direction Slack – particularly Ally and Nora for setting it up – you are my happy place. And I couldn’t not mention my romcoms-on-Netflix-loving muse, Harry Styles.

  Finally, as always, all the love to Team Stainto, my little shipmates.

  Published by Bookouture in 2017

  * * *

  An imprint of StoryFire Ltd.

  Carmelite House, 50 Victoria Embankment

  London EC4Y 0DZ

  United Kingdom

  * * *

  www.bookouture.com

  * * *

  Copyright © Keris Stainton 2017

  * * *

  Keris Stainton has asserted her right to be identified as
the author of this work.

  * * *

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publishers.

  * * *

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places and events other than those clearly in the public domain, are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  * * *

  ISBN: 978-1-78681-289-6