Ash

by Shani Petroff

  Oena shrugged. “I’m sorry too,” she said. “But this isn’t your fault. Raze’s mission was to scout that part of the tunnels. Scouting missions are always dangerous. PAE patrols have been out with a vengeance since Zane was captured. Raze knows that. She took you right through an area we’d identified as potentially compromised. She shouldn’t have done that. Had she been alone and not come back, we’d have sent in a backup team, and they might have been caught too. The fact that you made it here means we can warn others on similar missions.”

  Thom nodded beside her. “If we move quickly, we may even be able to set up traps in that section of the tunnel. We could capture some of their patrols for a change.”

  Around the table the other Revenants were nodding and talking. One of the Browns pulled up a map from his tracker and pointed out the location of the tunnel I’d been in with Raze.

  “Would you say this is about where you were when you first heard them?” he asked.

  “It’s actually a little more this way,” I said, I pointing out where I had been and explaining the terrain to him.

  He turned to the other Brown with a sly smile. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

  “Let’s go say hello to the PAE, shall we, brother?”

  “Thanks, Dax,” the first said.

  “No problem,” I replied. So they were brothers. And they had accepted me just as readily as mine had always done, despite my Ash status. I felt my nervous energy begin to dissipate. At school, we might attend ring-blended classes and be forced to use the same cafeteria and common space, but our place in the system still governed all interactions. I would always be an Ash. But at this table, no one had so much as glanced at my clothing. I hadn’t been scrutinized in any way. They were treating me as an equal.

  “Actually,” the second Brown asked, “Do you want to come with us?”

  I felt my heart soar. “Really?” I asked.

  But Oena answered before he could. “No,” she said. She shot the Browns a look. “Absolutely not.”

  The conversation immediately stopped, which made my response that much louder. “But that’s why I’m here,” I said. “I want to be a Revenant.” If these people were going to try and fix the system, I wanted to be a part of it.

  Oena sighed. “Let’s take a walk, Dax,” she said, standing.

  “See you,” the first Brown said as I stood to follow. The others nodded and Thom raised his hand as I followed Oena out the door.

  We walked back down the hallway, stopping near the exit. “Dax, I understand why you’re here. I’ll do everything I can to avenge Aldan’s death. But it’s going to take time.”

  “Then let me help you,” I said.

  She ignored me, continuing as if I hadn’t spoken. “Look at what happened to Raze today. We go on scouting missions, and we don’t come back. Do you understand? The PAE kill on sight. Aldan died because he got too close to me, to this group. My brother was captured a few days ago. It’s possible he’s dead by now as well. If he’s not dead, he may wish he was by the time the PAE finish with him.”

  Oena’s voice was detached. Completely matter-of-fact. A crop of goosebumps raised over my arms as she continued.

  “The only thing I can still do for Aldan is honor what I know he would have wanted. Or not wanted. He wouldn’t have wanted you in harm’s way. You have to understand that it may be me the PAE takes tomorrow. Or Thom. Or any of the rest of the crew back there. That’s our choice. Aldan would have never agreed to it for you.”

  “But Aldan’s not here anymore,” I argued. “He made his choice, and now I’m making mine. I’ve thought a lot about this, Oena. People have been telling me what I can’t do for as long as I can remember. I can’t live like that anymore. I need to make my own choices. I need to do what I think is right. Please. Let me be a part of this, let me choose my own path.”

  Oena’s voice grew a little softer around the edges. “You sound just like him,” she said. Her face sagged, making her look like someone much older, then she sighed, seeming to come to some sort of agreement with herself. “I’m not agreeing to anything, Dax. But I’ll make you a deal. If you want to talk again, you can reach me through your tracker. I can modify the program. You’ll be able to override your location signal if you need to. And you’ll be able to reach me directly. For emergencies only, though, is that clear?”

  A thrill jolted through me. “Of course,” I agreed immediately. I had changed her mind. Or at least nudged her in a new direction. It was a start. “How does it work?” I asked.

  “Let me see your tracker.”

  I held my arm up and Oena bumped her wrist against my own. She tapped a few times onto her own tracker, showing me how to reprogram my position on my geolocator. Then she showed me how to contact her.

  “Don’t make me regret this,” she said, her earlier tone coming back.

  “I won’t,” I promised.

  “Good,” she replied. “Now get home before anyone wonders where you are.”

  I’d taken a few steps away before she called after me.

  “Hey,” she said.

  “Yeah?”

  “Good work today. Aldan would have been proud of you.”

  “Thanks,” I said, happiness and sadness flooding my emotions at the same time. I turned before she could notice the tears pricking my eyes. “You won’t regret this,” I said, and walked back out into the rain.

  It had to be a mistake. It needed to be a mistake. But I knew it wasn’t. Mistakes like that didn’t happen accidentally. Someone went to a lot of trouble to cover up the switch. But why? Why would they swap my destiny? Nothing about this made sense. Blanks were impetuous, reckless, violent even. I was none of those things. I was the future leader of my country. Or at least I used to be.

  I stared at the records. Dax had been born at 7:44am. It fit with the extraction time on my mother’s file—7:46am.

  “Crilas,” I never swore, but this certainly called for it. “What, what if…” I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

  “What?” Sol asked gently.

  “What if it wasn’t our destinies that got switched? What if it was us? What if Dax is really a Sumner, and I’m really a Harris.” The thought made me feel faint. That would mean Link and I… I grasped onto the desk to steady myself.

  Sol shook his head violently. “No, the DNA tests are here. They put them in place decades ago to ensure no one tries to steal a Purple baby. Yours haven’t been tampered with. You’re definitely a Sumner. Besides, look at you. You look like your parents. So does Dax.” He pulled photos of my parents and photos of Dax’s to the bottom of the screen. Dax had her mother’s hair, eyes, even nose.

  I let out a sigh of relief, but it didn’t last long. It didn’t change the fact that my destiny was wrong. I had no idea what to do. I couldn’t keep it a secret, could I? Not following destiny could cause the whole world to fall apart, but mine already was collapsing. I needed time to think.

  “Shh,” Sol warned me, putting a finger up to his lips then pointing at the door.

  I strained to hear. There was definitely someone out there. I made out a voice; it was Worthington, which meant I had to act quickly. “Cover everything back up,” I whispered to Sol. “Don’t leave any digital tracks. No one can know what you found. This is our secret.”

  “Madden—” Sol started.

  “You swore on your family.” I looked him square in the eyes until he nodded, then I headed for the door. I opened it just enough for me to slip out.

  “Minister Worthington,” I said, shutting the door behind me. “I thought I heard you.”

  The minister turned to me, his face stern. He’d obviously just come from the Delegation. He was wearing his formal speaker’s attire—a floor-length purple robe with multicolored tassels hanging from each shoulder, representing the seven rings. “What were you doing in my office?”

  “I was just about to leave you a note about your legislation when I realized you’d returned. I naturally thought i
t would be better for us to discuss the matter in person.”

  Elba stood up at her desk. “I didn’t see you go in there.”

  “You may need another cup of coffee,” I told her, mustering my best fake smile—the one I always used at meet and greets for the lower rings. “I walked right past you. We said hello, and I asked about your husband. You joked you’re the one in pain, having to deal with his broken foot.” I had heard her say that line above fifty times the past week.

  Her face scrunched up, confused, “Oh, right, right. So silly of me.”

  She was a Crimson and wouldn’t dare contradict a Purple. Not that I qualified anymore. No, I told myself. Now was not the time to feel panicked or sorry for myself. I had the rest of my life for that. Right now, I had Sol—and my secret—to protect.

  “Anyway, Minister,” I said. “The reason I stopped by was that I watched the stream of your talk to the Delegation. I could not agree more wholeheartedly with what you said. It’s about time someone tried to get this legislation passed, and I want to be a part of it. I want to help you however I can.” The truth was I had no idea what he was talking about today, but it didn’t matter. Worthington ate it up when people agreed with him, and if that’s what it took to make him not care that I was in his office and get him into another part of the building, then I’d work on whatever law he was trying to pass.

  He put his hand on my shoulder. “I’m glad to hear you say that. I’ve been getting some opposition on this one. It’s nice to know someone feels as strongly about it as I do. And now is the perfect time to strike. With what happened with the Harris brothers, we just may get this passed. It’s clear that Blank sister of theirs must have been the influence. If she had just been committed at birth we could have avoided all this trouble. Compulsory Warding is going to make for a safer New City, both for its citizens, and for the Blanks who need more assistance than their families can give. And we’ll make the Ward safer too. We can’t have these uprisings. Any Blank caught in the act will be taken care of. Permanently.”

  His hand felt like an eight-hundred pound weight. A weight that would crush me if the truth came out. Of all the legislation he had in the works, why did this have to be the one he spoke about today?

  “Tell you what,” he said. “Why don’t you get me some notes in the next couple of weeks? And don’t forget to highlight the current situation.” He lowered his voice, like he was letting me in on a secret. “I wish we could find a more permanent solution to the Blank troubles. Nip the problem right in the bud.” He gave a hearty laugh. “But one step at a time, right?”

  I laughed right along with him. “Right.”

  What had I gotten myself into? And what did he mean by permanent?

  Worthington looked down at his wrist tracker. “Will you excuse me, Madden? Minister Sealy needs me in the South Wing. Hmm,” he said, studying the message. “That’s strange. It doesn’t say who the ping came from. I didn’t know you could do that.”

  You couldn’t—unless you knew how to hack the building’s messaging system.

  “They’re always coming up with new technology,” I said, forcing my voice to stay steady. There was no time for nerves. I could do this. After giving hundreds of speeches I was a pro at hiding my emotions.

  “That they are,” he said, fixing his attention back on me. “Glad to have you on board, Madden.”

  “Glad to help,” I said.

  As Worthington walked off, Elba got up to bring some hologram files into his office. I might have been able to convince her and Worthington that I had reason to be in there, but there was no way I’d be able to pull that off for Sol. I couldn’t let her go inside.

  “Oh no!” I exclaimed holding my wrist up and tapping a few buttons on my tracker. “I hope it’s not another fight,” I said as Elba continued toward the door.

  “What?” she asked, her interest piqued.

  “I don’t know if I should say anything. It’s probably nothing.”

  “You can tell me, I won’t tell anyone, cross my heart and swear to destiny.” But we both knew that was a lie. Elba was the biggest gossip in the building.

  “Okay,” I said. “I heard something was going down in the break room. Last time that happened there was food and dishes flying everywhere.”

  “That’s right,” she said. “Everyone was talking about it for weeks. Maybe I should go check it out. You know, to help rein everything in.”

  “Of course,” I said, as she scurried off.

  After checking that there were no hover cams nearby, I opened the door to Worthington’s office. “You done?” I asked Sol.

  He nodded.

  “Then come on.”

  He looked around and then leaned toward me. “Everything—”

  “Not here,” I said. “Go to your office, I’ll follow.”

  I stayed a few paces behind Sol so no one would think we were together. Purples and Ashes didn’t walk the halls together. I closed my eyes tightly. The memory of what we found in Worthington’s office punched me in the gut. I was an Ash. Not just an Ash, but a Blank. The lowest of the Ashes. Get a grip, Madden. I opened my eyes and forged ahead. Now was not the time to break down. Now was the time to keep up appearances. If anyone asked why I was with Sol, I’d just say he was helping me gather data for Worthington’s legislation. We arrived at what looked like a closet at the end of the hall. Sol opened the door and waited for me to enter. It was a tiny room with a several computer monitors squeezed onto a desk in the corner.

  “Welcome to my world,” he said.

  He must have seen me wince, because his eyes widened in alarm. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. I just meant my office. Not the Ash world.”

  “It’s fine,” I said, plastering on my camera-made smile. “Good job making Worthington think he was needed somewhere.”

  “Good job getting Elba out of there,” he countered.

  But I knew it wasn’t Elba or even Worthington he wanted to talk about. We were dancing around the two-ton clock tower in the room.

  “Madden, what are you going to do?” he finally asked.

  I couldn’t answer him, because I had absolutely no idea.

  The next few days blurred together. Moments of grieving. Moments of frustration. Even the odd moments of laughter. When my family wasn’t trying to talk some sense into Link at the cells, they spent most of their time at the house. We swapped stories of Aldan—the safe ones, the funny ones—no one mentioned the race or what he did or why he did it.

  But I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I tried to piece together the part of my brother I didn’t know—the part that was a Revenant—or at least aligned with them. There were still so many questions. Not just about Aldan, but the Revenants themselves. How did they find one another? How many were there? Where were they from? How did they plan to change the system? Could they really do it? I wanted to ping Oena, but I didn’t. I’d told her I would only contact her for emergencies, and I would keep my word.

  That didn’t mean I wasn’t bursting to talk to someone about it. My brothers. My father. Theron. Even Laira. Only I kept my mouth shut. The information was probably more than they could handle, and it wasn’t like Laira could keep a secret. Besides I knew better than to bring my friends and loved ones into something dangerous.

  After a few missed school days I returned to Spectrum. I did my best to ignore the whispers and stares as I walked up the front lawn. I could feel my classmates’ eyes on me. Some were hostile, I thought. Others pitying, which was almost worse. Before I could make it to the building I heard someone yelling my name.

  I pretended not to hear anything, picking up my pace.

  “Dax, hey Dax,” an out of breath voice hollered.

  I stopped, realizing it was Theron. I gave him a hesitant wave. Act normal, I reminded myself. After what happened at the practice track, I wasn’t sure how to be around him. We had pinged a few times over the past days, but not about anything to do with us. Not that there was an u
s.

  “Wait up,” he yelled, jogging across the lawn.

  I collected even more stares as Theron reached me a moment later. No one expected us to be hanging out together without Aldan—not even me.

  “Have a few minutes?” he asked.

  “Sure.”

  We walked until we found an empty bench, and in silent agreement sat down. “I’m glad you’re back,” he said.

  “Thanks,” I answered. I wanted to say something clever or witty or even just conversational, but my brain wasn’t cooperating. So much for making him laugh.

  “I was thinking about how you can get in to see Link,” he continued, not seeming to notice any awkwardness.

  In one of my pings I told him I thought I could convince Link to retract his statements. It was sweet that he was trying to come up with solution for me, but it was a pretty hopeless cause. “They’d never let a Blank in,” I said.

  “They might if a future minister put the request in.”

  “Madden?” I couldn’t help the look of annoyance that immediately plastered my face. She was the last person who would do me any favors.

  “No, seriously, Dax,” Theron said. “Think about it. I bet she can get you clearance.”

  “There’s no way she would do that,” I scoffed.

  “You might be surprised. I know you have your differences, but Madden cares about Link. She’ll help if she can. Anyway, it can’t hurt to ask. Let me talk to her.”

  “Really?” I asked, buoyed by his confidence.

  “Really,” he said, “I think you should start planning what you’re going to say to Link.”

  “Oh, I know exactly what I’m going to tell him. It’s stupid to fight the system head on. There are other ways. It’s not like he’s alone.”

  Theron’s eyes got wide. “What are you talking about?”

  I’d said too much. “Nothing,” I replied, trying to sound nonchalant. “He just doesn’t need to fight Aldan’s battles for him.”