Again: A Young Adult Romance

by Rashmita Bhattacharjee

  I’m taken aback by the sudden outburst. How did it not occur to me that he could be thinking along those lines ever since he got to know the truth about his life? My heart sinks seeing how much that unfortunate fact troubles him.

  “No, it doesn’t, Devon,” I say, holding a strong conviction as I look him in the eye. “And it shouldn’t bother you too. You’re not him and can never become like him. You’re a good person. It’s not just his, but you’ve your mother’s DNA too. Her brave blood runs in your veins too. She was a wonderful, strong, and fearless woman. Don’t ever let that slip your mind.”

  I watch a lump appear in Devon’s throat. “I won’t,” he says, overwhelmed.

  I hold his face and press my lips onto his again. Devon rolls over on his back, and I come on top of him without breaking our kiss. He parts his lips for me, and I rub his tongue with mine causing him to let out a harsh groan. I leave his alluring mouth to bury my fingers in his hair and kiss his neck. While I’m at it, my fingers work quickly to unbutton his shirt.

  I slide down onto the grass next to him as I move my lips all over his bare chiseled chest before resting my head on his chest. His one arm is wrapped around me while I close my eyes to listen to the music of his throbbing heart.

  We just lie there like that in silence, and it’s the next amazing feeling after love.

  “Eleanor?” I hear his muffled voice in my hair.

  “Hmm?”

  “We’ll be freshmen in college in a few months.”

  “Yeah, I’ll miss living in Crawford Lane a lot,” I say softly, feeling bittersweet about having to part with this picturesque neighborhood in the near future. “I’ll miss Stef and Josh much. She will be going off to London, and he’ll move to San Jose. I’ll miss Dad. I still can’t believe I got accepted in UPenn! Although I know the last semester marks are very much important to get in.”

  “You’re gonna ace the tests, I’m sure.”

  “I’m so happy that both of us are going to UPenn!” I chirp, feeling lively.

  “Eleanor,” he sounds hesitant, “I will not be coming to UPenn with you.”

  My eyes open wide hearing that, and I raise my head from his chest in reflex to look up at him. “Why not?” I ask, turning pale.

  Devon and I sit up on the grass. I search his solemn face under the moonlight for an answer. And he doesn’t delay his response. “Been meaning to tell you this for quite some time, now that I want to become a police officer just like Dad wanted to,” he confesses.

  I didn’t see that coming, but I’m very much impressed nonetheless. “Wow. That’s really amazing, Devon! You should definitely go for it! Did you tell Mr. Parker?”

  “No, I haven’t yet, but I will at dinner tonight.” He smiles. “I’m aiming to get in the same police academy in Philadelphia that Dad went to.”

  “I’m so excited for you, Devon!” I beam. “Mr. Parker will be very proud. You’ll make a brilliant cop,” I add.

  He’ll make a sexy officer too.

  “But I don’t know how that’s gonna happen, given my history,” he says anxiously. “My biological father and my own reckless acts that got me into trouble with the law a lot of times.”

  The smile on my face diminishes. He’s right.

  “I really want to be a police officer,” he adds. “I promise to train hard and do everything it takes to be the best I can to protect and seek justice for innocent people.”

  “I know you will, Devon.” I nod, meaning it. “Talk to Mr. Parker as early as possible. You hold a clean record for the past months now. That should count.”

  Hope it does.

  I don’t have to wait long to know what Mr. Parker thinks about Devon’s future plans. The following afternoon, taking a break from doing homework, as I come down the stairs to make myself a mug of coffee, there’s a knock on the kitchen door.

  I open the door to find Devon with a bag slung on his shoulder.

  “Hey.” I step aside to let him in.

  Devon walks indoors and stands facing me.

  “Going someplace?” I ask.

  “Yeah. To Philly with Dad and Jackson,” says Devon. “We’re gonna try and get me accepted in the cop school.”

  A broad, hopeful smile spreads across my lips as I hear that. “That’s great! Good luck,” I wish him. “When will you be back?”

  “I don’t know, Eleanor.”

  “Oh.”

  I should’ve known better. It’s gonna be a while until I see him next. And I don’t know what it’s gonna be like to be away from him. The thought just breaks me.

  Devon’s grim eyes mirror the exact feelings. He dashes close, and we kiss. I shiver at the way his lips mold with mine like a perfect match for sin. I wrap my hands around his neck when his fierce passion claws into my breath driving me insane with pleasure. Glad that nobody’s home right now.

  “I’m gonna miss you, Devon.” I gasp between kisses. It’s hard to even go a day without him.

  “I’m gonna too,” he says hoarsely, pulling my lower lip into his mouth.

  “Do you have to leave right now?” I ask breathlessly.

  “Yes.”

  “Do you have a little bit of time to spare?” I want to take him upstairs to my room and feel him inside me.

  “I do, but I don’t have protection with me.”

  So we can’t do it.

  I feel a sharp prick in my chest as Devon takes his lips off mine. “All the best, Devon,” I wish him with a positive smile.

  “Take care,” he says as we hug tight.

  Devon then kisses me on the forehead before walking out through the kitchen door. I know for a fact that he will come back soon with great news.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  I walk down the streets of Crawford Lane that pleasant evening with my hands stuffed into my long grey coat pocket. There was an amazing snowfall last evening that left the entire neighborhood covered with a thick sparkly white blanket of snow.

  Wish Devon was here. It’s been four days now. I miss him so much that I ended up wearing his t-shirt under my baggy top today like a lovesick teenager.

  I plan to grab an espresso from The Mug as I near the place, but just as I’m about to push the glass door open, I spot Josh on the other side of the street. He looks sad and dejected. I follow his line of vision and see that Stef is out on a coffee date with the blond guy she had told me about the other day, Noah.

  I cross the lane and walk up to Josh. “Hey, are you okay?” I ask him cautiously.

  “Yeah, I’m fine, thanks,” he responds with a small smile and a lump in his throat. “Look at Stef. She is so happy. Isn’t that what we both wanted for her?”

  “I think you need to tell Stef that you’re in love with her.”

  “No, I won’t, Eleanor.” Josh turns to look at me in dismay.

  “You got to do something. You’re hurting so much,” I tell him, distressed.

  “I’m fine. And I won’t have this conversation again,” he says firmly. “It’s I who screwed up big time. Stef never asked me to be her rebound. I had to insist on it because I wanted to help her. And now I don’t want to screw up our friendship. I’d always intended to be a good friend to her, have no idea just how a bunch of my stupid feelings got in the way.”

  I exhale a deep breath. It’s true Stef looks at him as this goofy guy who is just an amazing friend and nothing more than that. And he doesn’t want to make things complicated for her now that she has finally started to move on. But the whole thing is still so heartbreaking.

  “You know what?” I grab his arm, and we get going from there. “Let’s go buy you an ice cream.”

  “Jeez, Eleanor, we’re eighteen. You’re supposed to buy me a drink.”

  “Nah, I don’t want to get you started on the many stupid things that you google about.”

  “I don’t look up stupid things on the internet!” he opposes. “I google those stuff that Einstein would if he had internet at his fingertips.”

  I raise a
brow at his proud claim. “Really? I don’t think so.” I drawl. “Einstein would never ask Google about the perfect amount of chest hair a teenage man should have.”

  “Did I search that on the internet?” Josh turns wide-eyed.

  “You said so the last time you got heavily drunk.”

  “Whoa, you just reminded me why I love myself.” He flashes a boyish grin.

  I punch him lightly on the arm. Josh laughs. I’m so glad he is laughing. I just hope he gets better and is able to move on. I hope he finds someone as jovial and goofy as him because Josh is my best friend and a wonderful boy.

  The following morning, someone I least expect walks over to me in the hallways at school. I’m taking my books out of the locker when…

  “Eleanor.”

  I turn sideways to look at the source of that hesitant voice. Believe it or not, it is Luke. Luke Thomas. The very guy who’s ignored me and pretended I never existed ever since I brought him down in front of the whole school. Trust me, I enjoyed the drama.

  “Luke.” I’m quite surprised.

  “Got a minute?” he asks.

  “Yeah, sure,” I say, closing the locker shut. I’m quite intrigued.

  “I want to apologize for being such a terrible jerk to you,” he says solemnly, taking me by surprise once again. “I’ve been meaning to say sorry for quite some time now. I deserved that punch on the face. I’m glad that you’re with someone who treats you far better than I did.”

  “That’s nice to hear, Luke,” I say. “Well, I wish to forget the past. So, apology accepted. Hope you find someone and be good to her.”

  “I will,” he says. “Thanks.”

  “And since we’re at it, in case you’re wondering, I was the one who scrawled that message on the hood of your car on the night of the ball.”

  Luke is completely taken aback by that revelation. He gapes at me blankly for three whole seconds. Surely that night must have haunted him all this time.

  “No problem, it’s alright,” he mumbles after recovering. “You don’t have to apologize for that.”

  “I wasn’t even going to.” I shrug, bearing a flat expression on my face.

  My bluntness startles him again. “Oh…okay, then.”

  With that, Luke is quick to turn away and walk down the hallway. I’m gonna tell Devon about it over the phone tonight.

  ***

  “What was Luke talking to you about in the hallway earlier today?” Stef asks out of curiosity when we sit ourselves down at the courtyard during free period.

  “He apologized for being a total jerk,” I tell her.

  “Whoa, that’s a first.” Stef is startled. “Well, at least he is decent enough to say sorry and accept that he screwed up, unlike some other guys.”

  I know she is talking about Adam.

  “How are things going with Noah?” I ask her. “Are you guys official?”

  “Nah, I’d tell you if we were,” Stef tells me. “He’s been through a bad break up too. So we’re just taking it slow, testing the waters. It’s nothing serious.”

  “That’s a good way to take things forward.” I nod.

  “When is Devon coming back?”

  “Probably next week,” I say. “He’s whining a lot about having to miss so much of school.”

  “Yeah, your boyfriend loves to roast everyone at the Debate Club.” Stef laughs. “Hope his gran gets well soon.”

  “Yeah.” I smile.

  I told people who asked that Devon left to visit his sick grandma. He wants to keep it that way until he secures a place in the academy. Fingers crossed.

  “I’m moving on but I-I feel guilty for what I did to Josh,” Stef admits, looking troubled and downcast. “I’ve used him as a rebound, and I feel awful about it. I shouldn’t have listened to him. I just screwed up our friendship.”

  “No, you didn’t.” Josh joins us. “Nothing can ever change between us, not unless I beat you bad at the Burger Gobbling Competition at Eleanor’s just like the last time.”

  Stef’s mouth forms an O at that arrogant proclamation. “You cheated the last time!” she retorted, pointing a finger at him. “I don’t know how you did it, but you somehow did. You can never ever eat more free food than me!”

  Josh scoffs. “Just because Eleanor chose to give the last Ferrero Rocher she had in her stash three months ago to me and not you, you’re out for blood.”

  Stef narrows her eyes at him. Turning to me, she speaks, “Eleanor, don’t give him any more chocolates for the next couple weeks. Give it all to me. That will be the best revenge ever.”

  It was an open declaration of war. I burst out laughing in no time. Stef and Josh joined in too. This. This is what my best friends and I are really like. Stupid. Goofy. Funny. Amazing. This is what I’ve been missing all this time.

  “So…are we good?” Stef asks as the laughter subsides.

  “Of course, we are,” Josh said promptly. “We’re too close to let an awkward moment exist between us.”

  Stef giggles. She is happy and relieved hearing that. Josh is glad that he was able to do things right. He is trying to move on. And I just want the best for both of them.

  The rest of the week went by with each day having its own share of events. Like on Thursday night, Dad and Katherine got together in the kitchen to make dinner. Katherine made chicken lasagna, vegetable stuffing, and sweet potato casserole while Dad prepared the cranberry sauce, gravy, and mashed potatoes. And for dessert, we had a carrot cake. The food was delicious, to say the least. I sent pictures of it to my friends, Devon, and Gran. It almost felt like Thanksgiving all over again except for the turkey.

  On Friday after school, I went to the mall with Katherine. We had a good time shopping and getting to know each other more. She even complained to the sales assistants about the prices of a couple of stuff that she found to be high. I found her over-the-top nature too adorable which had me in splits. We played games and even had Coke and pizzas at the food court.

  But even after all this time, I’m still finding it hard to accept her completely. There must be something terribly wrong with me.

  That weekend, Dad and I play a friendly doubles tennis match with Stef and her father at the neighborhood club. I couldn’t have asked for anything better to do with Dad because there was so much fun and laughter. It’s surreal how everything has changed. From dreading that he would never come back to these days when we sit on the front porch and connect like never before over Ferrero Rocher chocolates dipped in vanilla ice cream, I can say that I’ve got my father back after missing him all these years. The only regret I feel is why this couldn’t have happened any sooner.

  “I still can’t believe that you’re eighteen, Ellie,” Dad says as we walk into the house through the kitchen door. “Seriously, where did all the time fly? You will be going off to college soon. And to UPenn! I’m very proud of you, honey, but I’m gonna miss you.”

  “Thanks, Dad.” I smile. “I’m gonna miss you too.”

  There’s a pause, and he appears wistful as he looks aimlessly at nothing in particular.

  “What’s wrong, Dad?” I ask, feeling anxious.

  “I have not been a very good father to you, Ellie.” I feel uneasy at the pit of my stomach hearing that. “I wasn’t around much like I should’ve been,” he adds. “I didn’t try to know you any better than I knew. I was away busy at work and…well…I was always busy at work.”

  “Dad…”

  “I’m sorry, Ellie. I really am.” He looks at me.

  “You don’t have to be,” I tell him meaningfully.

  “But I want to do things right,” he says, a note of resolve in his voice. “I want to begin again. I want to be a better father to you this time. I know it’s too late now that you’ll be starting a more independent life away from home but still, I wanna be there for you, Ellie. I want to look after you. Will you call me often after you move out?”

  “Of course, Dad.” I hug him affectionately, feeling the tears beneath my
eyes. “I love you.”

  “I love you too, hon,” he says with a heavy voice. “And I want to thank you for being so good to Katherine,” he adds. “It means a lot to me that you made an effort to bond with her even though you could have easily stayed aloof. But you didn’t. And I’m very grateful for that. Ellie, I don’t want to become a good father because you’re friendly to her, but because I really do care about you, I just…didn’t have it in me to express it to you before.”

  “When you left for this business trip months ago, I thought that…that you’d never come back…” I trail off.

  That catches him completely off guard. “Why did you think I would never back?” he asks, puzzled.

  My heart starts beating so fast that it sucks all the strength in me in a matter of seconds. I need to tell him about what I read in his journal. Now is the time. I have to say it now. I have to close this once and for all.

  “Hey, when did you guys come?” Katherine walks in the kitchen, interrupting us. “How was the match?”

  “Not to be boastful or anything but Ellie and I won, right, hon?” Dad asks me.

  “Yeah.” I smile.

  “That’s great,” laughs Katherine. “As for me, I was reading a Chicken Soup book, and I actually ended up making chicken soup. Wait. That sounded even lamer than I thought it would.”

  I giggle. “But judging by the amazing smell around here, I’m sure the soup’s gonna be great.”

  “Thank you, Eleanor.” She beams at me. “And…I also want to thank you for being so warm to me.” She smiles. “You know what? When you go off to college I’m gonna look forward to every holiday when you decide to come over. And maybe Eron and I can come visit you too if that won’t be a problem? I promise we won’t land at your doorstep unannounced.”

  Dad laughs at her last line.

  “Sure, no problem,” I tell her with a smile, feeling the discomfort rise to my throat.