Unwritten

by Jen Frederick

“Yeah, I did. A neighbor heard me cry out and banged on the door. Marrow panicked and tried to run out. He wasn’t real bright.” She grimaces, as if she feels bad for insulting the pencil dick who attacked her. “Anyway, when Davis heard about it, he went over and beat Marrow up.” She flexes her left hand, the one that Davis uses to work the fret. “He broke three bones and got an Oxy prescription. It was weird. Both he and Marrow were going through the same legal process. Arraignment, decisions to plead, sentencing. Marrow went to prison supposedly for eighteen months and Davis went to county jail for three. The whole process ate at Davis, but I couldn’t see past the end of my own nose. I was in therapy. My parents were freaking out. We forgot about Davis. I forgot about him.”

  Guilt drips from every word. She was caught up in her own trauma and kicks herself for not seeing Davis’s spiral.

  “When did you figure it out?”

  “He took my ATM card and withdrew the max limit for an entire week. I didn’t notice, but my accountant did.” She reaches up to rub the sides of her neck, as if the memory still causes her pain. “I didn’t care about the money. Like, I would’ve given it to him if he’d asked.”

  “Only not for drugs,” I guess.

  “Right. Not for drugs.” Sad eyed, she tilts her head. “It’s kind of ironic, but the jail time saved him. He couldn’t get oxy in jail and he dried out. Don’t say anything,” she hurries to add. “He’s not proud of what happened and he obviously doesn’t want you to know.” She gives me a worried look. “He turned his life around. Got a job.”

  I smooth a hand over her hair in what I hope is a reassuring manner. “Not saying a word.” The awkward tension that would spring up between the two suddenly made sense. She was watching Davis for signs of relapse, and he was tired of repeatedly proving himself to her.

  She nods miserably. “I don’t want to see Davis like that again. It was awful when he got out of jail. He was a shadow of himself, but Nothing would be worth it.” She meets my eyes. “Not even us.”

  Her words are a punch in the gut. I want to understand and, in some part of my brain, I get it. But the selfish part wants me to shake her until she admits that without me she’s lost. Because that’s where I am—lost without her.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Landry

  Tour Stop: Phoenix

  “Good morning, Phoenix! This is KPRX, your home for all the top hits. Today we have in studio FMK. We can’t say their full name on the radio because our producer told us we have to stop”—bleep, goes the censor—“on air.”

  Everyone laughs. We’ve moved on from Texas, but the air is still dry. I’m drinking at least two liters of water a day and still feel parched.

  Adam and I are trying to stay away from each other, but it’s not easy. The few times we’ve been together have only whetted our appetite for each other, but there’s no privacy on the tour bus. Davis would know the minute that Adam and I slipped off together. I’m not ready to break the news.

  “So which one of you is picked first the most?”

  Rudd points to his chest. “Me, of course.”

  Ian shoves Rudd’s head to the side and points to Adam. “That one.”

  “You, Adam Rees? You’re the F of the FMK?”

  Adam waves a hand in front of his face. “Not me. I think Davis is the one whose pants all the ladies are trying to get into.”

  “Not Rudd here? He’s hot. I’d be all over him if it weren’t the for the ring on my finger.”

  “Those are artificial barriers,” Rudd says into the mic. “Love sees no boundaries.”

  The female personality—Nicole, I think her name is—smiles. “I like your way of thinking, but my husband might not agree.”

  She’s sitting so close to Adam he barely has space for his guitar. Granted, the room is small, but she doesn’t have to be rubbing her married tit against Adam’s arm.

  “Speaking of husbands,” the male radio host jumps in, “we heard that you, Ian, just got married.”

  “Yeah, I figured I’d better wife up my girlfriend before someone else did. Like Rudd here.” He nudges Rudd in the side.

  “Berry’s smoking hot. If you had to wife someone up, definitely her. But for all the ladies out there, there are still three of us single guys. You should come and see us at the festival. We’ll be waiting.”

  “Is that right? No other significant others for the rest of you?”

  “I’m concentrating on the music,” Davis says.

  Adam stares through the window separating us. Without taking his eyes off me, he says, “Same.”

  I look away because that hurts. And I’ve no right to be hurt since I’m the one asking for his silence.

  “There’s one reason to get yourself out to the Sand Festival today,” chortles Nicole with one hand curled around Adam’s biceps. “I, for one, will be angling for a front row seat.”

  I hate her. I really hate her.

  “So, Adam, rumor has it that you’re using your dad’s old bus from The Crows tour.”

  “Yeah, but it’s been gutted and renoed so other than the shell, it doesn’t resemble the old Death to Dusk bus much.”

  “I’ve seen pictures of this sweet ride,” the male host pipes up. “And we’re going to post a few of them on our Facebook page later. Your dad give you any tips for touring?”

  The side of Adam’s mouth tilts upward. “Yeah, sleep when you can and never shit on the bus.”

  Bleep!

  “Fair enough. You’ve brought your instruments today. What’re you going to play for us?”

  “‘I Wasn’t Ready,’” Adam says. “It’s a new song Davis and I have been working on during the tour. It’s been a favorite of mine since we put the lyrics to music, but this is the first time we’ll be playing it for anyone outside of the band.”

  “And who doesn’t like being the first.” The male host winks at the guys. “PRX listeners, you’re in for a real treat—get ready for the debut of ‘I Wasn’t Ready’ by FMK!”

  Ian counts off the beat. “One and two and three and four and—”

  Rudd starts first, laying down the bass line. Two measures and Adam joins in. Two more measures and Davis begins to sing. And then it’s full on harmony—beautiful and pure. Adam’s voice lower, more gravelly, providing the anchor for Davis’s falsetto.

  The hosts are into it. The male host is mouthing the chorus after the second verse. Nicole licks her lips as if she’s imagining tasting one of the band members.

  If this is how these jaded radio hosts are reacting, then the song is going to be a huge hit.

  “Whew!” Nicole wipes fake sweat off her forehead. “Is it hot in here or what? I want you all to promise that you’ll remember us when you get big, because I can tell you right now, this is a hit!”

  Her co-host leans into the mic. “If you haven’t bought your tickets for Sand Festival, start calling to win one of ten tickets to hear FMK and four other bands play tonight. We’ll be back after the break!”

  The sound in my room goes dead as the feed from the studio is cut off while a commercial plays. I watch as everyone slaps each other on the back and Adam thanks the producer for having them. By the two thumbs-up the headphones-wearing producer gives, the telephone response must be positive.

  Davis is the first one to come bursting through the door. “What’d you think?”

  “You guys were great.”

  “They’re getting so many calls!” he says excitedly. “Higher volume after our segment than they’ve had all morning.”

  I offer a genuine smile. “I’m so happy for you.”

  Davis lifts me up and swings me around. “This is it, Landry.”

  “You deserve it,” I tell him.

  He grins happily and sets me down. “Let’s get to the festival!”

  “We gotta make the airport run,” Ian reminds him. Berry’s flying in.

  Davis slaps him on the back. “Then let’s go to the airport, pick up the wifey, and get to the festival.”

&
nbsp; “Davis is excited,” Adam murmurs in my ear.

  “What gave you that idea?” I say dryly.

  * * *

  The outdoor festival is a bigger, rowdier crowd than I’m used to. There’s no table in the back of the bar that I can barricade myself behind. It’s nothing but a sea of people. Even behind the stage, it’s a mass of humanity, moving frenetically from one end to the other while readying things for the next act.

  “This crowd is insane tonight,” Berry yells in my ear. We have to yell. It’s the only way to communicate.

  She has little Jack strapped to her chest with a huge pair of earmuffs around his head. He’s sleeping peacefully against her chest. I eye his ear protection with envy. I could use a pair of those.

  “I’ve never been to a music festival,” I confess. “Is it always like this?”

  “Not even the Summer Festival in Central City?” she asks in astonishment.

  “No. I always meant to go.” But the local music scene bummed Davis out. I think he’d go and be resentful that he was in the audience and not onstage.

  “Well, that’s nothing like this. You can bring a blanket and hear the person next to you talk without shouting.”

  I give her a thumbs-up, because I’m tired of screaming our conversation. That and my attention keeps getting diverted to Adam. He’s got so many girls around him, and they’re so brazen, tucking their numbers into his front pocket, asking him to sign their tits and asses and tummies. And he has to pretend like he’s interested because I’ve insisted on keeping our relationship a secret.

  It makes me a little crazy. The noise, the smoke in the air, and the girls are all giving me a huge headache. I decide to retreat inside the bus.

  Berry follows me. She unhooks her baby papoose thingy and carefully lays Jack in the portable carrier. One thing about having Berry on the bus, it’s too crowded with baby things to accommodate many people.

  “I need a set of those headphones.” Inside the bus, with the door closed, it’s like we’re in the eye of a noise hurricane.

  “I know, right?” She tucks a blanket around him and comes to take a seat at the banquette. “Fuck, I’d give anything to have a beer right now.”

  “You can’t?” I know nothing about babies.

  “No.” She pats her boob. “He drinks from the tap. I could pump and dump, but that’s a pain in the ass. Don’t have a baby, Landry. They’re so much work.”

  I look at Jack’s sweet face. “But they’re so adorable.”

  “That’s the kicker. You’re mad about a dozen things like not sleeping, having to use three diapers during one change, getting pissed on during said change, but he can smile at you and everything’s forgiven.”

  I wink. “Kind of like Ian.”

  She laughs. “Yeah, just like Ian, but usually his smile has to come from between my legs before the forgiveness comes.”

  “Nice. I like that.”

  “So, you and Adam, huh?” She arches her eyebrows as if daring me to deny it.

  “Ian told you?” I guess.

  “I’m his wife. There are no secrets between us.”

  Her smile is inviting, but I’m not ready to share my feelings with Berry. I can’t admit that I fell in love with him when she expressly warned me away. “You told me not to catch feelings for him because he wasn’t going to settle down.”

  “Maybe I was wrong.” Her voice softens. “Adam’s careful. He’s friendly with tons of people. Loves the women, but he doesn’t open up to many. People want to take advantage of him—of his money, his connections, his talents. That’s why I gave you the warning. Not because I don’t think he can’t settle down but because I haven’t seen him want to.”

  I look out the window. Adam’s now talking to some woman wearing a badge. The girls are hanging back, waiting for the opportunity to pounce. He’s not paying them any attention. “You see something different now?”

  I can’t keep the hope out of my voice.

  “Ian does.”

  My heart swells. “I want to believe,” I find myself telling her. “But there’s Davis. I don’t think he’d like it if I was dating Adam.”

  “Has he said that or are you using him as an excuse so you can pretend that Adam’s going to break your heart.”

  My jaw drops open at her blunt words. She makes a face. “Too harsh? I just love Adam to pieces and Ian says he’s gone over you. I feel like I gave the warning to the wrong person.”

  “No.” I shake my head. “No. You didn’t. I’m—“ I break off and then restart, forcing myself to admit the truth. “You’re right.” Those words are hard to say. “I’ve been hiding. I let Davis talk me into coming on this tour instead of facing Marrow down. I crushed on Adam because it was safe. And then when it wasn’t safe anymore, I threw Davis in between us as a roadblock.”

  I swallow but it hurts because there’s a big lump in my throat.

  Berry’s eyes hold no judgment. “So what do you do now?”

  What can I do? Adam’s already set up camp in my heart, and short of clawing that thing out, he’s there for good. Sitting on my ass and not grabbing the opportunity that’s right there is idiotic.

  “I guess I need to talk to Davis and tell him that I love Adam.”

  “Maybe tell Adam first.” She winks.

  “Probably.”

  “Go out and make a big show of it. Adam will love it.”

  “How do you know?”

  “It’s my motherly intuition.” She taps the side of her head.

  “Your baby’s three months old,” I laughingly protest.

  “Hey, I was cooking that boy for nine months before he popped out. My intuition was being developed at the same time my belly got bigger.”

  “Is that how it works?” I say. The lump in my throat is gone and my tummy is filled with nervous excitement.

  “Damn straight.”

  The door to the bus whooshes open and Rudd’s head pops inside. He’s wearing a “Pluck Me” T-shirt in forest green.

  “Nice T-shirt,” I tell him.

  “Davis gave it to me. We’re going to take the stage. You coming out or is Jack asleep?”

  Berry groans but pushes out of the booth. “He’s asleep, but I’ll pop those headphones on and it’ll be fine.”

  Rudd gives us a thumbs-up. “Cool beans. You coming too, Landry?”

  “Wouldn’t miss it. We’ll be out in a few.”

  “’Kay.”

  “Wait for me, would you, Berry?” I say as I jog toward the back. “I want to put on some makeup and change.”

  “You look fine,” she calls.

  “I don’t want to look fine. I want to look drop dead gorgeous. This is a big moment.” I rummage in my makeup bag and reach for my contacts container. I rarely wear them, but if I have to fight for Adam, I might as well be battle ready. And it’s hard to wear glasses in battle.

  “Point taken. Do you need help?”

  “Nah.” After I pop the contacts in, I swipe red lipstick over my lips and dab on mascara. I pull out the short velvet miniskirt that made Adam lose control before and pair that with a white loose-fitting top that laces down the front. Tucking that in, I shove my feet into a pair of military-style ankle boots. Finally, I spray a sample of floral perfume that I found in the bottom of my purse, smack my lips together, and go out to meet Berry.

  The makeup and outfit is more for my benefit than Adam’s. I want to claim him in front of everyone which means I need to look the part.

  “What do you think?” I ask, one hand on my hip.

  “He won’t stand a chance,” she promises. Jack is already tucked in his little papoose, his sweet head listing to the side. “Let’s go out and lay our claims on our men.”

  “Done.” I slap her hand and lead the way.

  Outside, a couple of roadies are helping Ian set up his drums while Rudd and Davis huddle around Adam, who’s holding their set list, one hand cradled around a mic stand. Berry goes to give Ian a good luck kiss as I saunter over to
Adam and the others.

  I’m only a couple of steps away when I hear a commotion. A scuffle of feet, a curse or two, a girl’s cry. I turn to see what the problem is and that’s when I spot him.

  Marrow.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Landry

  My heart jams in my throat as Marrow runs at me. Fear races through my veins. His thin frame parts the crowd like a scythe. His hand is extended, holding something dark and shiny. A shove against my shoulder sends the whole scene spinning sideways. Everything is a blur. Someone shouts. My heart gallops uncontrollably as I try to regain my balance.

  Adam lunges forward, but then I see a flash of green and Rudd drops to the ground in front of me. Marrow stumbles back, his hand empty. There’s a loud, sustained screeching. I clamp my hands over my ears but I still hear it. Worse, the shiny thing is now in Rudd’s gut.

  His blue eyes stare at me in shock.

  “Sweetheart, I think someone stabbed me,” he gasps.

  “Rudd! Rudd!” I scramble over to him, moving my hands helplessly over his frame.

  Another pair of hands pulls me out of the way.

  “You’re just fine, Rudd. If you wanted more attention, though, you should’ve said something. I would’ve written you a solo,” Adam jokes. He shoots a fierce glare in Ian’s direction. “Call 9-1-1.”

  “Already on it, bro,” Ian says with a phone in his hand. Davis drops down next to Rudd, pressing a t-shirt onto the wound.

  I’m not needed here. Not that I can do anything. I raise my head and spot Marrow pushing through the crowd, and a fierce anger wells up inside of me.

  For far too long, I’ve been afraid. Well, I’m done with that shit. A flash of silver catches my eye. I grab it and lunge forward. Damn, these mic stands are heavy. But adrenaline is driving me.

  “Marrow!” I yell.

  He hesitates and then turns around. The crowd pushes him toward me. I don’t give him time to talk, to explain, to spout his poison. I heave up that stupid mic stand and swing it. The heavy base’s momentum carries it all the way around, faster than I anticipated, faster than Marrow can react.