Obsidian Tears

by Jaleta Clegg

  There was a ripple of laughter. I kept my head down. Lilliasa was led away by her father. Mayguena stopped me from following.

  "Come, Pooki," she said.

  I followed her dutifully. We went back to the rooms. She ordered me to bed. I lay down. Sleep was long in coming. I didn't dare move. I heard Mayguena doing something in the other room. A rhythmic clicking sound accompanied by her soft voice in a monotonous melody finally lulled me to sleep.

  I was woken up when the party was over. Lilliasa stormed into the room, shedding expensive fabric as fast as she could pull the dress off.

  "Do you know what he did?" she demanded of Mayguena. "He let me know that the final studies have come back. I am not genetically acceptable for breeding."

  I stayed curled on my cushion.

  "You've known for some time that your height—"

  "My lack of it, Mayguena. Despite my father's prowess in politics and everything else, despite his wealth, he can't buy off the genetics council. He can't buy an approval."

  "So why are you upset tonight? You knew what would come."

  "I never wanted to breed, that does not upset me. But my father has arranged a marriage for me anyway. I'm to be bartered off as a plaything, because I embarrass him by my existence."

  They were silent for a moment while Mayguena helped Lilliasa remove the rest of her clothing and pull on a much looser, more comfortable outfit of billowing pants and short shift. I watched from the safety of my blanket. Lilliasa had long hair, of a coppery red. She pulled it loose from a complicated knot of braids. Mayguena brushed it for her. Mayguena's hair was dark brown, streaked with white. It was pulled into a single braid that wrapped around her head.

  "He took me to his study to talk privately. Gyth was there. Tuarik informed me that Gyth was willing to marry me, despite the council's decision. Gyth already has four children, all with very desirable traits. He can afford to marry a creature such as me." I'd never heard such loathing in anyone before. She really hated her father and Gyth, whoever he was.

  Mayguena brushed the long copper hair. Lilliasa leaned back, closing her eyes.

  "The wedding is in nine months. Unless you know of a way for Gyth to join his previous wife, I have no choice."

  "We'll think of something, Lia," Mayguena said.

  I shivered despite the warmth of the room. Mayguena's voice promised pain for someone. She looked over at me, her eyes measuring. Whatever she saw didn't please her. She turned her attention back to Lilliasa, dismissing me as nothing more than a toy, a pet, a slave with no resources or skills.

  I pulled the blanket over my head and told myself I was happy with her assessment. It was safer and a lot less painful.

  Chapter 18

  Three days passed and they showed no sign of beating me. Mayguena kept me busy learning to fetch for her. I learned how to store Lilliasa's clothes in her closets. I learned how to keep the flower bouquets looking fresh. I learned her routines and my place in them.

  The private courtyard attached to Lilliasa's rooms was incredible. A tiny fountain burbled in one corner. The paving was mixed stone and moss, smooth and cool and cushioning underfoot. Flowers bloomed in profusion in pots and planters. I was allowed to help mist the moss. They did not trust me with the flowers Lilliasa spent several hours a day trimming and planting.

  Tiny fish darted in the pool under the fountain, bright blues and greens and golds. One was flame red. A shy lizard lived under the stone bench Lilliasa liked to sit on while she sorted her yarns and wound them on spools. The lizard was jeweled violet and pink. There were no birds and few insects. I don't know what the lizard ate. The roof overhead was covered, sealed by some transparent material that grew opaque at night and in the rain.

  Lilliasa and Mayguena amused themselves weaving blankets and hangings. The contraption in the main room was a loom. I spent hours watching them work the shuttles back and forth, colored threads trailing behind. The patterns they created were complex, intricate and beautiful. I was not trusted to help, not even with winding the yarns.

  Lilliasa had one other pet, a tiny furball with an attitude a lot bigger than it was. Shadita's fur was long, softer and silkier than anything I'd ever touched. She was a pale gray. She had black eyes, peering comically out of the fur. I was given the job of brushing her several times a day. She permitted me to touch her only after I let her spend a suspicious five minutes sniffing my hand and baring her teeth. I think she sensed that I missed my cat, Ghost. I missed the warm furry lump in my lap.

  I was not allowed to leave the rooms after that first night. Lilliasa went to dinner by herself. Mayguena stayed where she could watch me. And she did, suspiciously and constantly. I was very careful to do only what I'd been given permission to do.

  The fourth day, Lilliasa rose early and paced restlessly around the room. It had rained the previous day. She'd spent most of it in the main room at the loom. It was still raining. I heard it pounding on the roof.

  "I hate it here," she announced while Mayguena tried to get her to sit still long enough to braid her hair. Lilliasa watched me brushing Shadita and frowned. "Father's going away for a while. Like always. We should get you different clothes, Pooki. Maybe I should give you the dress Father gave me."

  "He would have her beaten," Mayguena said.

  "I know how much he paid for it, don't remind me." She shifted in the chair, tugging her hair free of Mayguena's hold. "Don't bother with anything elaborate. I don't have any reason to go anywhere until tonight. I'm sure there's something in the closet that we can use. I can always tell Father I'm showing off how rich he is. He can afford to dress his slaves in style."

  "You just want to play today," Mayguena said.

  "So help me." Lilliasa smiled winsomely at the older woman.

  I wasn't included, except as the subject of their conversation. I kept my head down, watching Shadita squirm under the brush. She let me know she'd had enough by nipping my hand before she pranced away. Lilliasa leaned over the arm of her chair and offered Shadita one of her treats. The creature made a happy chirping sound as she danced for Lilliasa. Mayguena finished braiding Lilliasa's hair.

  "Do you sew?" Lilliasa surprised me by asking directly.

  The word wasn't one I was familiar with, I still had an imperfect understanding of their language. Words sometimes came out garbled. I bowed my head.

  "I do not know the word," I admitted in a voice barely above a whisper.

  "Needle and thread, stitches in cloth," Lilliasa explained, speaking as if I were a very slow, very stupid child.

  "Some," I admitted. I wasn't about to explain to her that I could sew very well, tiny stitches that were barely visible. I'd learned despite every attempt not to. I hated sewing. No, I hated what it represented: repression and subservience. My situation here was much worse. I didn't even have stars to watch. On Tivor I had at least the illusion that I could escape, someday. And I had. But I had no past, not here. I was only what my mistress allowed me to be. Right then I would have given anything to be on Tivor, not here.

  "We shall see," Lilliasa promised.

  Mayguena found fabrics, pieces that were declared ruined or too small to be much use. They were finer than anything I'd owned. The colors were pale, pastels that reminded me of spring gardens on Landruss. No, I couldn't afford to think of the past.

  I bent over the fabric, sewing where Mayguena told me. I wondered what Jasyn was doing. I wondered how she was changing. She was expecting a baby. I wanted to be with her. I bent my head lower, pretending to be absorbed in my needle as it flashed in and out, while I blinked back tears. I had a past, one I wanted back. But it was dangerous to think that way. I deliberately killed the thoughts. I was Pooki, a pet, a plaything. A slave.

  "You put us to shame," Lilliasa said, examining a seam I'd finished. She smiled.

  It left me cold inside. I caught Mayguena watching me intently as Lilliasa turned to check the flow of fabric from the bodice they were sewing. I ducked my head. I didn't want M
ayguena to see thoughts I shouldn't be having. She was too sharp. She watched too closely. She said nothing, though.

  When the rain finally ended a day later, I had three dresses. I'd sewn them myself, though Lilliasa cut the fabric and told me where to sew. They were simple compared to hers, but they were a vast improvement over the shift. Lilliasa insisted I only wear the shift for sleeping. She dressed me up, as if I were a living doll. I kept my face neutral, all emotions hidden, buried before Mayguena noticed them.

  "I'm tired of this room," Lilliasa announced after she finished puttering in her courtyard garden. "The rains should have brought the lianas to bloom."

  "Then let us go check," Mayguena said. "With your father gone, the house is empty of guests. You won't run into any."

  "Especially not Gyth," Lilliasa said with a shudder. "He pushes me to not wait for our wedding. I loathe him."

  "Then we will have to find a way not to marry him."

  "I could stab him some night," Lilliasa said flippantly as she strapped on sandals. They were light and delicate on her tiny feet. "No one would ever believe I'd done it."

  "But it wouldn't solve the problem. Your father would find someone else."

  "You won't be satisfied until everything is changed. The whole society. All nine planets. All seven hundred million people."

  "And all two billion slaves."

  Lilliasa shot a quick glance at me, one full of new suspicions. "Slaves, too, Mayguena? Is that wise? Aren't they necessary to our economic stability? Father has lectured on that at length."

  "It's only a dream, Lia," Mayguena said soothingly.

  Lilliasa laughed as she walked lightly through the door. Mayguena watched me, waiting for something. I very carefully played the part of the stupid animal. I followed Lilliasa out, Shadita trotting obediently on her leash at my side.

  The sprawling mansion was surrounded by even larger gardens. Sweeps of closely cropped grasses were bordered by swirling beds of plants. Flowers bloomed profusely. The sun overhead was milder here than in Reashay's compound.

  Shadita pranced and scampered, excited to be outside. She fought the leash, wanting to explore without any kind of restraint. I sympathized with her. The garden would have been an absolute delight, except I was not free.

  Lilliasa wandered down paths, stopping to sniff a flower here and pluck a sprig there. Mayguena talked with her as they walked. I had to keep lifting Shadita out of the flower beds. She squirmed and nipped when I picked her up. I kept my comments about her to myself, trying to keep my facade intact. I was Pooki. I had no thoughts, no ambitions, nothing but what Lilliasa allowed me to have.

  Shadita found a new trick. She bit her leash, dancing and spinning in it. When I reached down to untangle it from her feet, she nipped at the hand holding the leash. She drew blood. I dropped the leash, swearing silently. She sprinted away, a tiny fluffball of fur making fast for far horizons. I was up and running after her before I stopped to think.

  Shadita ran over the crest of a hill. I came over the top. She stopped not far down the hill, her head cocked to one side. There was a whole line of people below, chipping at rock. I stopped in shock. They were slaves, wearing collars identical to mine. More than a third of them were human. Most were aliens I had never seen before. They were roughly humanoid, but with differently colored hair and skin. They worked in the heat, cutting a new path from the side of the hill and lining it with rocks. They all wore identical short tunics of dirty white. Supervisors watched, tapping wands against their palms, men wearing outfits of fitted tunics and flowing trousers and high boots.

  My eyes were drawn to the far end of the line, where they wrestled large slabs of stone into place on the hillside. I saw dark hair, curling slightly at the ends. My heart stopped beating, I couldn't breathe. I knew that hair, I knew that man. I'd found Tayvis.

  I turned away, reaching down to scoop up Shadita. I was ashamed. I didn't want him to see me as a slave. I didn't want to see him as a slave.

  "There you are," Lilliasa said, laughingly. "We saw Shadita running away. Silly creature," she said to the fluffball I held.

  Shadita had worn herself out. She submitted to me carrying her, flopping on my arm with a satisfied sigh.

  "Is something wrong, Pooki?" Mayguena asked me.

  "Nothing, des Shira." I ducked my head. I didn't want them to know about Tayvis. I didn't want them to see any weakness. I didn't want to give them a weapon over me.

  Mayguena studied me for a long moment. And then looked down the hill at the slaves below. She smiled, a calculating look. "Perhaps someone you know?"

  "I have no past, des Shira." I fought the urge to kneel, Shadita would not have appreciated it. I would be bit for it. In such a small way I could defy Reashay's training. It was dangerous, though.

  "Come see," Lilliasa called. "Father had the vines imported after all." She was over the top of the hill.

  Mayguena watched me for another long moment before following. I walked at her heels, head down. Shadita was an inert lump in my arms.

  I felt Mayguena's eyes on me the rest of the day. She watched me as I fetched and carried for them that afternoon. She watched me as I brushed bits of grass from Shadita's long fur. I was very careful to give no indication I was anything but the most obedient of slaves. It was killing me inside.

  It was a relief to finally be excused to bed. I curled up on my thin cushion, under my worn blanket, and closed my eyes, escaping to memories. It was dangerous, but I couldn't keep myself from remembering.

  Shadita whuffled in my face, her breath sweet with the smell of plants. She walked in a precise circle next to me and plopped down. Her fur tickled my shoulder. I stroked her back. She was only an animal, a slave like me to the whims of others. I fell asleep with her soft snoring in my ears.

  I dreamed that night, remembered touches and smiles from a past I couldn't afford to remember. I woke with tears on my face sometime in the darkness of the night. Shadita was gone. I wiped my face on my blanket and tried to go back to sleep. I finally succeeded, after hours of staring at nothing.

  Mayguena didn't wake me early, as she usually did. I was awakened by loud thumping from the courtyard. I scrambled out of my corner, stumbling awake as I moved. The courtyard was full of slaves. They were hauling rocks, building a new fountain and a channel that would eventually connect to the fish pond. Mayguena watched from just inside the doorway, in front of me. She glanced back at me.

  Tayvis was there, working with the others. I don't know how Mayguena guessed he was the one I was watching, but she did. I backed out of the doorway. I didn't want him to see me this way. I turned and ran. Mayguena watched me go, a slight smile on her face.

  I fled to the one place that might possibly count as a refuge. I hid beside the toilet, crouching on the floor. With two doors closed between me and the courtyard, the sounds of construction were muffled. And Tayvis had no chance of seeing me here.

  I couldn't think about him. I couldn't allow myself to remember. They would send me back to Reashay and this time I wouldn't be able to survive. I'd been a slave before, I'd been kidnapped before, but never had I felt this helpless, this completely trapped. Reashay had indeed done her work well.

  I couldn't keep my mind from thinking, though, try as I might. Why was Mayguena doing this? What game was she playing? What did she want from me? I didn't have answers. I stayed on the floor beside the toilet until the sounds of construction faded.

  Lilliasa found me there, hours later. "Pooki?" she asked, sounding concerned. I wanted to shout at her that my name was not Pooki. I didn't dare. "Are you ill?"

  Habit took over. I was on my knees with my face to the floor before I thought. I didn't answer. I didn't know how to answer safely. And I was close to losing control, the one thing I could not afford to do. Not if I wanted to survive. Did I want to survive? I wasn't sure.

  She placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Come, Pooki. Mayguena says you haven't eaten at all today. Perhaps the food is not as good fo
r you as I have been told." She left the room.

  I followed, walking slowly behind her, my head down.

  Lilliasa offered me food. I ate mechanically. It didn't matter that it was bland, I didn't taste it. She told me to lie down and sleep as much as I needed. I curled up on the cushion and stared at the wall.

  I heard her talking with Mayguena. Lilliasa's voice was light, high and young. Mayguena had a deeper voice, richer. It carried better.

  "I doubt it is something physical," Mayguena said. "Did you ever think about who these slaves are? Especially the ones they capture on raids? Perhaps she has a family. Perhaps she misses her friends."

  "I never thought about that," Lilliasa said slowly.

  They moved away, their voices harder to hear. The loom picked up its rhythmic thumping. Their voices were a soft counterpoint to the rhythm.

  I shifted on the cushion, rolling over to stare at the ceiling. Mayguena was planting dangerous thoughts in Lilliasa's head. She was playing a game that was more deadly and dangerous than the one Reashay had played. Reashay had a clear motive and goal in mind. I had no way to guess what Mayguena was after.

  Shadita trotted across the room and nipped me, demanding to be brushed. I obliged her.

  Chapter 19

  Things were back to normal the next morning. I was up early, helping Mayguena with Lilliasa's wardrobe. I risked a glance into the courtyard as I walked past with an armful of rich dresses. The fountain was in, the rock wall looking as if it had been there centuries. No water flowed yet, dropping between tiny basins to the artificial stream bed. A delicate arch bridge crossed the shallow channel to a new niche. A single bench sat there, surrounded by bare soil.

  "We plant today," Mayguena said behind me, startling me into moving again.

  Her announcement led to much searching of Lilliasa's wardrobe. She needed something older, less fanciful, to work in the garden. Our efforts didn't matter. She was summoned by her father to accompany him for the day. I was left under Mayguena's supervision.