The Shadow Realm

by James Galloway

  "You do, you just don't realize it," he added. "First you do what you always do when working with Sorcery. Calm down, clear your mind, and concentrate on what you're doing. When you do that, you'll feel the Weave above you. You just rise up into it, that's all. That's how I imagine it, myself."

  "That's it?"

  "More or less. The currents of the Weave will pick you up as soon as you join with it, and carry you to the Heart. So don't get panicky when you feel yourself being carried away."

  "Do you always start there?"

  "At first, yes," he answered. "When you have more experience, you can hold your position and go wherever you want. But I haven't done very much of that."

  "Why not?"

  "Well, mainly because you have to be stationary when you do this," he told her. "We've been on a ship the last month, and there was too much going on at the Tower for me to explore the Weave very much."

  "Those are good reasons," Keritanima chuckled.

  "Pardon my curiosity, but exactly what are you going to do?" Rallix asked.

  "They are going to join with the Weave," Allia answered him. "Certain Sorcerers have the ability to join their minds to it, and it gives them a period of expanded consciousness."

  "Ah. Interesting," Rallix hummed.

  "It's more like an alternate consciousness," Tarrin clarified. "While we're joined, we'll be completely unresponsive. We won't hear or see or smell, but we can feel. If there's an emergency and you need us to return, just pull our hair. We'll feel the pain and return."

  Tarrin waited for Keritanima in the Heart, and it only took her about ten minutes to arrive. He allowed her a little time to marvel over the place, then he began her education. He explained things as best he could, given his limited knowledge, then taught her the same spell he'd taught Jenna, using a Sorcerer's star to speak directly to his or her mind. Tarrin used that spell to talk to Dolanna, to tell her to find a strand and attempt to join the Weave. She arrived not long after that, and then Tarrin repeated his lesson for Dolanna, who already seemed to have a much firmer grip on the information that Keritanima did. Tarrin described the Heart and the Goddess, then explained how the strands worked when travelling through them from the inside. He stressed that Weave geography didn't correspond to the geography of the real world, and it usually required help from another Sorcerer or some kind of landmark or beacon to allow a Sorcerer to find something in the real world through the Weave. He taught them spells for looking into the real world from the Weave, a form of completely undetectable spying, and taught them how he projected into the real world through the Weave, using an Illusion and then pushing his consciousness into the matrix of the weave to allow him to use it like a borrowed body.

  "It's not a real body, though," he warned them. "When you move your arm, you're not really moving your arm, you're changing the weave to alter the image. It takes a little practice, but once you get the hang of it, it does feel like you're moving your arm."

  "Understandable," Dolanna agreed. "I remember when I saw you doing it that you did not walk. The projection simply changed positions, sliding along the floor."

  "I remember that," Keritanima agreed.

  "You can weave spells through a projection, but it's very hard," he told them. "You're literally weaving over a distance between your physical body and the projection. The further it is, the harder it is."

  "You explained that already," Keritanima said. "I want to try this."

  "So do I," Dolanna agreed. Then she looked at him. "Tarrin, are you shorter?"

  "The image here is an image of self generated by my subconscious," he explained. "In the Heart, I don't appear as I really am, I appear the way my mind perceives me to be. I guess my mind hasn't reconciled the fact that I'm so tall yet. I'm not the only one that appears differently. Jenna appears as an adult, and Jula appears as she looked when she was human."

  "Ah. Interesting," Dolanna mused. "Do I look the same?"

  "Both of you look exactly as you do in reality," he told them.

  "Then I guess we don't have any identity issues," Keritanima laughed.

  "Alright then, let's go visit Jasana," he said, giving Keritanima a rather cool look. "I want to see my daughter." He turned and looked at all the many stars, and it only took him a moment to find Jasana's star. It was one of the brightest ones, a visible marker of her tremendous power. He wove the spell to talk to her and reached out and put his paw on her star, feeling its power and vibrance pulsing into his paw. "Jasana," he called.

  There was a pause. "Papa?" her voice came through the star. "I can hear you talking inside my head!"

  "I'm using a spell to talk to you, cub," he said gently. "Are you alone?"

  "No, papa," she replied. "Mama and gramma are here, and so is Aunt Jenna and Jula."

  "That's fine. Where are you?"

  "We're in our rooms," she answered.

  "Tell them we're coming to see them," he told her. "We'll be there in just a minute, alright?"

  "Alright, papa," she answered excitedly.

  Tarrin felt back between her star and her physical body, until he knew which way to go to reach them through the Weave. He paused and then explained what he did to Keritanima and Dolanna, teaching them how to use the star of a Sorcerer to find his or her physical body, then he taught them the specifics of weaving the projection they would occupy, and exactly how to go about animating it. Then he led them away from the Heart, rising up and entering a Conduit, following that into a smaller strand, then another, then yet another, hurtling through the Weave against the flow of the magical currents. He entered a small feeder strand and moved along it slowly until the sense of Jasana was right before him. He paused and waited for the other two to join him, and when they did so, they were both looking rather amazed. "It's incredible!" she said, looking around. "We're inside the strand. In the magic!"

  "Can't you feel it flowing around you?" Tarrin asked, motioning with a paw at the river of soft radiance in which they were submerged, which did reduce visibility, making anything more than twenty spans away hazy and indistinct, like looking into a fog. The boundary of the strand was cleary distinguishable as a black wall at the edge of the radiance, a physical boundary that would hinder any travel through it. Tarrin had never really paused to look around at the interior of a strand before, understanding its nature without having to look at it with his spectral eyes. He could sense much more than he could see anyway, feeling the flow of the power, the gentle eddies and currents even with in the flow, and the occasional pulses and flickers of alien magic that travelled through the Weave.

  "It's beautiful," Dolanna said in Sharadi, looking around. "We went so fast, I didn't get the chance to appreciate it before."

  "Yes, it is, isn't it?" Tarrin agreed. "Alright, first you look out and get an idea of where you're going, then you weave the Illusion and then enter its weaving just like a strand. That will allow you to join with the spell. Ready?"

  "Ready," they both said.

  Tarrin wove the Illusion of himself as he truly appeared, and then pushed himself into the Illusion. He opened his spectral eyes to see that they were all in the apartments he had in the Tower, sitting or standing in the parlor with its three couches surrounding the tea table, all set before the fireplace. Jesmind and Jasana were sitting on one couch, Triana standing behind it, and Jenna and Jula sitting on one of the others. He focused on his mate and daughter and smiled. Jasana squealed in delight and tried to jump up to hug him, but Jesmind put her paws around her daughter quickly. "It's not really your father, cub," she warned. "If you try to hug him, you'll pass right through. It's just an Illusion."

  "Aww," Jasana said with a pout.

  "I'm sorry, cub, but this is the best I can do," he smiled at her, feeling his powerful love for the little girl flow through him at the sight of her. Seeing Jesmind had as strong an effect, reminding him again how much he loved his fiery, tempermental mate. "Believe me, I'd give a great deal to be able to touch you right now," he said longingly, look
ing into her eyes.

  "I feel the same way," she answered from her heart, gazing into his eyes.

  Tarrin sensed the building of other spells, and then images of Dolanna and Keritanima appeared on either side of him. They were motionless, still, until he felt their minds join to the weaves, and then the Illusions became animate. Their eyes opened, and they looked around the room in wonder.

  "Amazing!" Dolanna breathed, turning to look around. They both, it seemed, caught onto the trick of simulating motion immediately. In reality, it was very much like moving a physical body.

  "You're about six hours late," Jenna said critically. "It's midafternoon here."

  "It's still morning here," he told her. "I forgot about the time difference. We should have made it clear whose morning we'd use to meet," he told her.

  Jenna chuckled. "I guess so," she agreed.

  "You're looking well, father," Jula said with a gentle smile. "How are things going there?"

  "Rather well," he replied. "We'll be leaving for Vendaka tomorrow, so this will be the only chance I have to do this. I can't project like this when the ship is moving."

  "Why not?" Jesmind asked.

  "Because we have to be in physical contact with a strand," Jenna answered her. "If we're moving, then we'll move out of contact with the strand, and I don't know what would happen to us if that happened."

  "Exactly," Tarrin agreed. "Mother," he greeted Triana. "You're looking well."

  "Not for Jesmind's trying to make me go bald," she said sourly. "Sometimes I think I should have killed her when she was younger. I'd have saved myself alot of headache."

  Tarrin chuckled. "I'm rather glad you didn't, mother," he told her. "She may be a handful, but she's my handful."

  "Then you come deal with her," Triana said as Jesmind gave him a glorious smile.

  "I'd love to, but as you know, things can't be that way at the moment," he sighed.

  "How are the lessons going?" Jenna asked Dolanna.

  "I was there to observe as Tarrin trained Keritanima, so there is little he has had to repeat for me," she answered. "This is our first excursion into the Weave, and it will be our last for some time."

  "Travelling doesn't make for good teaching," Jula said sagely.

  "Actually, since we are on a ship, we have plenty of time for teaching," Dolanna told her. "But since the ship moves, it restricts what we can learn." Dolanna wiped her brow. "Tarrin, you were right. This is demanding."

  "I'm starting to feel it myself," Keritanima agreed.

  "It takes practice," he told them. "Why don't the two of you go on back? You need to rest. Trust me, as soon as you go back to your bodies, you'll feel twice as tired as you do now."

  "What motivation," Keritanima grunted.

  "He's right, Kerri," Jula said, then seemed to blush when she realized she'd used the contraction that only Keritanima's friends used. "I almost collapsed when you saw me do it back when Dolanna crossed over. It's a good thing I was already in bed."

  "Uh, Tarrin, you didn't teach us how to stop this."

  "Just pull out of the Illusion and go back into the Weave," Jenna told them. "It's as simple as that. Rejoin the Weave, and when you're there, just will to return to your body. And you'll go back, almost immediately."

  "Oh. I think I can do that," Keritanima grinned. "See you all later." And then her Illusion dissipated. Tarrin felt her consciousness hurtle back into the distance, as she returned to her body.

  "It was good to see you again," Dolanna said with a smile, then her Illusion too wavered and vanished, and her mind rejoined her body in Wikuna.

  Tarrin remained behind, however. He caused his projection to kneel before his mate and daughter, looking at them with yearning eyes. If only he could touch them! But as he was, they were insubstantial to him as he was to them. Jasana put her paw out as if to touch him, then she flinched when her paw passed through his head, disappearing into the Illusion. "That's scary, papa," she complained.

  "I warned you, cub," Jesmind said softly, gazing into his eyes. "When are you coming home to me, beloved?" she asked.

  "I don't know yet, my mate," he answered, resisting the urge to reach a paw out to her. "Is Jasana behaving herself now?" Tarrin talked to both Jesmind and Jasana every night, but he was leery to bring up such things when both of them could hear, so he hadn't had a chance to ask about that quite yet.

  "Jenna's cracked down on her," Jesmind said with a wan smile. "If she misbehaves, she gets no lessons."

  "It's not fair," Jasana complained. "I'm supposed to practice, aren't I?"

  "Not without supervision, cub," Jenna told her sharply.

  "How is it with you and Kimmie?" Triana asked directly.

  Was she trying to start a fight? Tarrin gave her a sharp look, then blew out his breath and answered. "Well enough," he answered.

  "Well, if you had to be with another female, I'm just glad it was Kimmie," Jesmind said, and that surprised Tarrin. He looked at her, and saw that she was being sincere. "At least she understands you."

  "Jesmind's stopped looking at the situation with her hormones and saw it with her eyes," Triana told Tarrin calmly.

  "Well, then I guess I can tell you that I told her she can move in with me," he said cautiously.

  "That's the way it should be, Tarrin," Jesmind said calmly.

  "You're awfully calm about it now, my mate," he said.

  "I saw your eyes, Tarrin," she told him simply, but with powerful emotion. "When you looked at me, I saw that when you come back, you'll come back to me. I don't have any cause to be jealous of Kimmie anymore, beloved. Because I know that given the choice between her and me, you'll choose me."

  "You knew that all along."

  "Knowing with the mind isn't the same as knowing with the heart, cub," Triana said sagely. "Even I get a bit irrational right after Thean leaves me, but I get over it."

  "Is he still here?" he asked.

  Triana nodded. "We'll be together for at least a year," she answered. "It's been a few years since the last time, so we'll be able to stay together for quite a while."

  "That's good to hear, mother," Tarrin told her, then he felt a twinge. "I'd better get back. I promised Allia I'd go with her today, and I don't want to wear myself out and back out of a promise."

  "Then you'd better go. But please, talk to me a little earlier than usual, alright?" Jesmind asked. "I'm getting tired of staying up into the middle of the night to talk to you, and Jasana gets surly in the morning because she's staying up so late."

  "It's the time difference," he chuckled. "I'll try to talk to you a little earlier, alright?"

  "Thank you," she said with a grateful smile.

  "Why didn't you say something?"

  "Because you try not to mess with a good thing, beloved," Jesmind answered.

  "You're going, papa?" Jasana asked.

  "Afraid so, cub," he told her with a solemn nod. "I'll talk to you tonight, though, alright?"

  "It's not the same."

  "I know, but we have to take what we can get. You be good, and we'll talk tonight, alright?"

  "Alright, papa."

  He stood and looked to Jenna and Jula. "You two keep it up. You know where to find me if you want to talk."

  "Can I talk to you later tonight, father?" Jula asked.

  "You can talk to me now."

  "I'd, uh, I'd rather speak to you alone, if that's alright with you," she said hedgingly, glancing at the others.

  "That's fine with me, Jula," he replied.

  "Can I use the Weave?"

  "You can talk to me any way you want," he assured her. "I'm sure Jenna's taught you everything you need to know to join the Weave without her there to hold your paw."

  "That's right," Jenna assured him.

  "Then you come and talk to me in a few hours, alright?" he told her. "I should be back from my trip with Allia by then."

  "Alright, father," Jula said with a nod and a relieved look.

  "I'll see all of you later,"
Tarrin said, looking at Triana. "Can I talk to you privately later tonight, mother?" he asked.

  "Any time, cub," she nodded. "I'll look in on you until you're not busy."

  "Fair enough," he replied. He wasn't sure how she was going to do that, but then again, Triana knew so much Druidic magic she surely had some kind of way to do it.

  "All this secrecy," Jenna laughed. "I'm tempted to ask if I can talk to you privately, Tarrin."

  "I have my reasons, Jenna," he said calmly. "I'll talk to all of you later."

  With that and one last look at his daughter and mate, Tarrin withdrew from the Illusion and returned to his own body. He opened his eyes to see Keritanima pacing back and forth, a hand on her stomach, a little out of breath. Sisska mirrored her movements, ready to catch her if needs be, but she looked like she was going to be alright. Tarrin regained his feet gracefully, pondering what Jula might want to need to talk to him alone, and his own impending conversation with Triana. Tarrin's motivation to talk to her alone was important, because he wanted to hear from her how his mate and daughter were really doing. Triana would give it to him straight. He also wanted to catch up on how Jula's education in the things she needed to know to pass the test of Fae-da'Nar was going. Triana was continuing her education, and he knew that Jula hadn't yet been tested for acceptance. It was starting to run into some time, so he was worried about how things were going in that department. That was something he didn't want to discuss in front of Jula, or even Jesmind. It wasn't any of Jesmind's business, and it may upset or rattle Jula to hear the truth of her progress from Triana, in case Triana had something bad to say. Tarrin had come to learn that Jula was a very anxious woman, nervous, a little high-strung, and not a little neurotic. If she heard something bad from Triana, she would obsess over it, the way she'd obsessed over her fear that the Goddess had rejected her. Given everything that she had to learn from Triana and Jenna, it was best that she be kept as calm as possible.

  "I never dreamed that could be so exhausting!" Keritanima told him breathlessly, leaning against the back of a chair. "My respect for your power just went up several notches, deshida."

  "You just wove and maintained a spell over a thousand leagues, sister," Tarrin told her mildly. "Did you think it was going to be easy?"