The Shadow Realm

by James Galloway

  How did he know that? He looked at her, looked at the expression of compassion on her face. He had only known her a few days. She seemed nice enough, and he could remember every moment they'd been together. But there was something else...something, distant. Yes, Dolanna was a friend. A very good friend.

  "I, I think I believe you, Dolanna," he said hesitantly, feeling his head pound in an unusual manner. He put his fingers to his forehead, bowing down. "I feel strange."

  "Kimmie tried to use a spell on you to restore your memory," she told him, reaching over and putting her hand on his shoulder. "It did not work as she intended, but she did say that it rekindled something. That vague dream of the long journey, my dear one, that was real. The spell seems to have jogged only very little, but Kimmie said its effects will linger. Flashes of lost memory may come to you from time to time, and when they do, there will be, unpleasant side effects."

  Tarrin had to believe her. He trusted Dolanna with his life.

  "Who is Kimmie?" he asked again.

  She smiled. "I think you are not quite ready for that," she told him. "For the moment, let us say that she is a Wizard, who happens to be a very good friend. She and another Wizard named Phandebrass are even as we speak attempting to research a magical method of restoring your lost memory. We know it was not completely wiped from you, that it still lurks within you. That in and of itself is a miracle."

  "It's no miracle, Dolanna," a voice called from the far side of the room.

  Tarrin and Dolanna both looked, for he heard no door open. On the far side of the room stood the strangest woman Tarrin had ever seen. She was very tall, nearly as tall as his mother, shapely and sleek. Her face was exceedingly beautiful, and Tarrin had the strangest feeling of peace when he looked at it, but she had qualities that seemed downright unnatural. Her eyes were glowing pools of amber light, and her hair was striped in the seven colors of the rainbow. She wore a sparkling white dress that looked to be made out of silk. She strode towards them in an elegant manner, and Tarrin could feel...something in him respond to her. He knew this woman. He didn't know how he knew her, but he did. And that flash of memory caused another sudden headache. She came over to them and started up the three steps that led to the platform on which the bed rested, and Tarrin couldn't miss the look of absolute adoration on Dolanna's face. She stood up as the woman offered her hand to her, and Dolanna actually kneeled down and kissed the back of it.

  "I just wanted to hold your hand, daughter," the woman said with amusement.

  "Forgive me, Mother," Dolanna said in the most profound manner, rising again. "I lost myself."

  "That's alright, daughter," she said, putting her hand on Dolanna's face in a loving gesture. "How is he?"

  "Kimmie managed to rekindle something of what was lost, Mother," she answered. "But only the vaguest impressions. We do not know how he managed to keep anything at all."

  "That was my doing," she answered. "Before you left Suld, I placed my power in him to try to protect him from what happened. Unfortunately, that power activated prematurely to protect him from the Weavequake," she said with a frown. "A miscalculation on my part. But there was enough of it left to at least manage to save some part of it, burying it so deeply that the curse could not find it. That's why Kimmie's spell failed. It just couldn't reach deeply enough into him to get it back. I'm quite impressed you managed to figure out it wasn't complete."

  "The braid and the brands, Mother," Dolanna answered. "He did not have the braid or the brands before. We knew that there had to be something there, or his hair would have been as it was two years ago, and the brands gone."

  "Clever daughter," she said with a smile. "I'm quite proud of you, you know. You're one of my very best children."

  Dolanna absolutely beamed.

  The strange woman sat on the bed by him, and that close to her, he could feel her aura of power. This woman had to be the most powerful Sorceress alive! Her appearance tickled at him in the strangest manner, as if he had met her before...but he couldn't remember. She smiled at him lovingly and reached out her hand, and he automatically offered his own. Her touch was warm, thrilling, a little shock of energy, and her grip was very gentle. She looked at him with those glowing eyes, and Tarrin felt just a tiny bit uncomfortable.

  "So," she said after a moment of regarding him. "How do you feel, kitten?"

  That seemed familiar to him. He tried to remember, but it made his head throb painfully. "Uh, fine, my Lady," he said in a nervous tone.

  "Call me Mother, kitten," she smiled. "I'm rather fond of it."

  "Can you restore him, Mother?" Dolanna asked.

  "I'm afraid not," she sighed. "To do so would be to break a vow to my own parents. I swore not to interfere in what is. I'm only allowed to try to plan for what may be. That's why I hid my power in him, to try to prevent this. I knew of it. It may have partially failed, but at least it managed to protect him."

  "What would have happened if you had not granted him that power?" Dolanna asked.

  "His memory would be completely gone," she answered. "As if it never was. When it is done like that, there is nothing that can be done to restore it. We are just lucky that his memory was not the spell's intended target, or not even my power would have saved him."

  "What was its purpose?" Dolanna asked. "The poem said it would take all that was, is, and would be. We thought it meant that it would kill."

  "The purpose of the spell was to strip the person who touched the Firestaff of the the one thing that had brought them to it. To take away the desire to use it," she said. "But Tarrin had no desire to use it. His intent was to protect it. The quest for power did not consume him as it did others, and his need to protect it was not the center of his life. So the spell instead took away the one thing that defined his existence, the one thing that made him what he was."

  "His Were nature," Dolanna breathed.

  "If there is one thing that defined him, wouldn't that be it?" she asked with a nod. "His magic didn't define him, because he didn't center his life on it. The quest didn't define him, because he was only doing it because I asked him to do. The one thing that defined my kitten's life was what he was. And so it was stripped from him. In that stripping, everything that he was when he was Were was also taken, including the memory of him being one. My power couldn't stop the taking of his body, but it could protect his mind. Had it not misfired in the Weavequake, he wouldn't have lost any of his memory at all," she frowned.

  Tarrin looked up at them. What were they talking about? What was a where? Had he misunderstood? Had he been one of these where things? Was it some kind of organization, like the Knights?

  "Can we restore his mind, Mother?"

  "I'm sure Phandebrass will think of something," she smiled. "He may be a bit of ditz, but when he rolls up his sleeves, you won't find a better Wizard."

  "Should we allow the human Sorcerers here to try?"

  "Not until you can trust them, Dolanna. The way they were conditioned doesn't make them dependable, and I'll not let a hand touch my kitten that isn't doing it for his own benefit."

  Tarrin looked up at this strange woman, and felt...love. It was radiating from her, and he found it very nice to be in her presence. He gripped her hand gently, feeling the thrill of her touch. "Mother," he addressed her. "What happened to me?"

  "It's a very long story, my kitten," she smiled. "And I don't have the time to tell it to you. But Dolanna will tell you everything. Believe her, kitten. No matter how outlandish or ridiculous what she says may sound, believe every word of it. You led a very unusual life for these last two years, my kitten," she said with a charming smile. "Full of danger and magic and excitement. It wasn't all happy for you. I won't lie to you in that regard. You had some very dark times. But you came through them, and you made me proud of you. You did everything you promised me you'd do, everything and so much more. I'm so proud of you I could just burst!" she declared, squeezing his hand gently. Tarrin felt a strange thrill that she seemed so happy
with whatever he did for her. "So, for right now, just rest, my kitten. You have done well, and you deserve it. While Phandebrass and Kimmie research a means to restore your memory, you should meet your friends, let them see you and know that you're alright. I'm sure they're curious to know what you were like before all this happened."

  "Uh, Mother, about that," Dolanna said delicately. "Triana wants--"

  "I know what she wants, daughter," the strange woman answered, cutting her off.

  "Can it be done? I mean, the magic stripped it out of him. Can it be replaced?"

  "Easily," she replied. "Triana was right in that regard. But this time," she said, looking down at Tarrin seriously. "This time it will be his choice. I've already warned Triana. If the Were-cats do anything without his permission, I'll be extremely cross with them."

  "Will he be as he was before?"

  "Shorter," she said with a smile. "You were right about that, daughter. But he'll have the fetlocks. Those became a part of his nature when he grew, like growing a beard. You can't ungrow one, you know."

  "But he will be the same in, in personality?"

  "Just the same," she smiled down at him. "When he gets back his memory, it will be as if this never happened to him, from a mental point of view. Physically, there will be that one little change." She smiled down at him. "I dare say that when he gets his memory back, he'll demand to be restored. Being like this to him would be unnatural."

  Tarrin listened to them, and realized that something pretty dramatic must have happened to him. Something big, that had changed his life. And whatever it was, something had taken it away from him, and robbed him of the memory of ever being that way to begin with.

  Tarrin mulled that over, remembering that last thing he could last night--at least last night to him. It was that fight with that furry woman. She had torn him up with her claws. He snatched his dagger off the bedstand and stabbed her right in the chest with it. She didn't seem to be phased by it at all. She just fixed those glowing green eyes on him, baleful with hate, and sank her fangs into his arm--

  And they said Were. Now where as in a place, but Were. As in Were-kin!

  It all came together in his mind, and his grip on the woman's hand suddenly clamped down like a vice. She was a Were-kin! His father had taught him about some of the various creatures of the deep forest, and the Were-kin were one of them! She'd bitten him, and if she really was a Were-creature, she would have infected him too!

  "Figured it out, I see," the strange woman smiled gently. "It's not as bad as you may think, kitten. And yes, that's why I call you kitten," she grinned. "After you adjusted to it, you were actually quite happy being a Were-cat. You had good friends, you had a very prominent position in their society, you had an adopted family among them--you'll meet your mother in a little while--and you had wonderful plans for the future. But the first time it happened, it happened when you had no choice,"she said with a compassionate look. "You didn't want it, and the one who bit you certainly didn't intend for it to happen. That caused you quite a bit of pain, kitten. This time, if, after you get back your memory, you look back on what you had and decide it's what you want, you can let them bite you and return to that life. But, if you decide that you don't want that again, you can say no and remain a human. This time, my dear kitten, you will have a choice. It's the one thing I could never give you before, and I want you to know that your future is your own, and you can be anything you want, have any life you want."

  That calmed him down. He, he had liked being a Were-cat? He couldn't remember, but it was certainly possible. His mother had taught him to approach any situation and not look at what could go wrong, but consider the benefits he may gain. He certainly had to admit that it was possible that he did get used to that and came to like it. After all, he couldn't remember, but those around him certainly could. If they said he was happy being a Were-cat, he'd have no reason to disbelieve them.

  "You-you mean it was all an accident?" he asked. "You said that that other one didn't intend for it to happen."

  Her expression turned serious. "That's a subject we'll leave for later on. Without your full memory, what I have to tell you may make you take it the wrong way. But you understood before. When you get your memory back, you'll understand again."

  She seemed a little reluctant, but he'd bow to her for now. It sounded like what happened to turn him into a Were-cat was a pretty sticky subject. But he'd find out. Mother taught him to be patient, and he had time.

  It seemed all too wild to believe, but their statements tickled at something in the back of his mind in a peculiar way. He knew they were telling the truth, even if he couldn't remember it himself. He was a little frightened by what he heard so far--he'd been a Were-cat!--but he was sure things would make more sense to him as they told him more and more about where he was, why he was there, and what had happened to him during the lost period in his memory. Actually, it sounded like quite a fascinating story. Danger, magic, and excitement, eh? He must have been leading quite a life before he lost his memory.

  He scratched absently at his shoulder...and felt a roughness there that hadn't been there before. He looked down at his shoulder and saw that he had a brand there, a brand depicting a sword and a spear crossed over one another. They weren't very large, but they were definitely noticable.

  "Those are a legacy of your past," the woman told him with a smile. "There's one on your other shoulder too. Look at it," she said, releasing his hand so he could look.

  She was right. On that shoulder, there was a brand that had a circle with what looked like a horizon inside it, and a crescent moon rising over the horizon.

  "When did I get these?" he asked. "They must have hurt."

  "Fara'Nae wasn't about to let her mark on you be erased," the woman chuckled. "She took steps, the same as I did."

  "Who is Fara'Nae?" he asked. "One of my friends?"

  "In a way, she is," the woman grinned. "She's a cousin of mine, actually. She and I, we take turns watching out for you." She laughed. "We fight over you quite a bit, truth be told. Neither of us likes to share."

  That made absolutely no sense to him. Given everything else he'd heard so far, he decided it was something best left to figuring out later. He continued to look down at the brands, marvelling at them, silently glad he didn't remember getting them. That had to have hurt.

  "Well, I'm afraid I have to go now," she said to him with a smile. "Don't worry, kitten. We'll see each other again." She leaned down and kissed him lightly on the forehead, and Tarrin felt a shockwave of power flow through him at the touch of her lips. It felt...familiar to him somehow, and everything about the strange woman put him at ease. She was a dear friend, someone he loved very much. "I think he's ready to meet the others, Dolanna," she told her as she stood up. "But go slow with the story about what he's lost. There's alot there, and if you leave out the wrong things, it may upset him. Make sure you explain all of it in turn."

  "I will be careful, Mother," Dolanna said, taking her hand again and holding onto it as if letting go would kill her. "What will you do now?"

  "Put the fear of their lives into the Sha'Kar," she said with a grim smile. "My children had strayed."

  "It was not their fault, Mother."

  "Not for some of them," she said in a dangerous tone. "But there's alot of bad upbringing I need to reverse, and a little direct intervention seems to me to be the best way to go about it. My older children will understand, but the kids are spoiled. They need to be whipped into shape."

  "I am sure they will embrace their culture," Dolanna said. "Now that they know their worship was not empty."

  "I heard every word," she growled. "Even if I couldn't answer back. Some of them are going to learn a little etiquette."

  "Will you come see me again, Mother?" Dolanna asked in a small voice.

  "Daughter, this kind of direct action doesn't happen often," she said with a warm smile. "It's not like we wander around this way all the time. But you can come see me any time
you want. The Heart is where you and I commune and enjoy company. We can even gossip like girlfriends if that's what you want to do," she added with a light smile. "If you ever feel lonely for me, come to me. I will always be there for you."

  Dolanna bowed her head, and Tarrin was surprised to see that she was crying. Just who was this strange woman?

  She raised Dolanna's chin with a slender finger and smiled down at her. "Such a good daughter you are, Dolanna. I'm proud of you, and you'll never know how thankful I am you've been with me."

  "Your thanks mean all to me, Mother," Dolanna said in a trembling voice. "I am a faithful and dutiful daughter."

  "You've proved it a thousand times over, daughter," she smiled, touching her face one more time. "Now let me go and show my more wrathful nature to some children who haven't been quite as devoted as you two have been."

  "Be easy with them, Mother. It was not their fault."

  "True, but I still want them to sweat a bit," she said with a smile and a wink.

  Dolanna and Tarrin watched the strange woman walk away. She certainly was unusual. Was she one of those amazing things that had happened to him during that time? She seemed to know him very well. Was she some kind of queen? She certainly seemed like a queen. Dolanna looked to adore her, and she talked like she commanded everyone and everything around her. And she just seemed like a queen to him. Elegant, beautiful, regal, a woman accustomed to obedience from those around her. She was obviously some kind of powerful magician as well. Whatever had done that to her hair and eyes certainly wasn't natural. But in the strangest way, they didn't look too weird, almost as if they belonged on her, as if she wouldn't look right unless her eyes did glow and her hair was all different colors like that. Was this her house? Was he sleeping in her personal bed? Anything was possible, he guessed. Until they told him what had happened, he could do nothing but guess.

  She certainly was nice.

  "Dolanna, who is that?" Tarrin asked quietly as she walked towards the door.

  "Dear one, if I told you right now, you would not believe me," she said with a loving smile. "Who she is will become clear when you hear the tale of the time you have forgotten."