Undeniably Yours

by Shannon Stacey

  She wanted to see her feet again. She wanted to sleep on her stomach and not have heartburn and not worry about the elevator plunging three floors under her considerable weight. Then, just for grins, throw in the fact they were only one week into June and she was already miserably hot.

  Mostly she wanted people to stop hovering over her and checking on her and insisting on doing things for her. She wanted to be left alone.

  “Just wait a few hours and I’ll take you.”

  She glared at Kevin, barely resisting the urge to stomp her foot. “I don’t need you to take me to the store. Pregnant women go shopping all the time.”

  He reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys. “At least take my Jeep, then.”

  “I don’t want to climb in and out of your damn Jeep. I’m going to take a cab. Which is also something pregnant women do on a regular basis, by the way.”

  He crossed his arms and she watched his jaw set into a familiar stubborn line. “I don’t like it.”

  “I don’t care.”

  “Beth.”

  “Kevin.” She shook her head, sick of the conversation. “I only came through the bar as a courtesy—to let you know I’m leaving and where I’m going.”

  “I just don’t think it’s—”

  “I’ve made it very clear, from the day I moved in here—or from the day you decided to move me in here, I should say—that I won’t let you take over my life.”

  “And I’ve made it pretty damn clear from day one that worrying about you and your safety and well-being doesn’t mean I’m taking over your life. It means I care about you. I’d have this same conversation with Paulie if she was three weeks shy of giving birth and wanted to run off by herself.”

  “And Paulie would tell you to kiss her ass.”

  He shrugged. “She might.”

  “She would, and so am I.” She turned around to walk away and realized more than half the patrons were staring at them.

  “Beth, if you don’t want me to take you, then take Paulie with you.”

  She would have whirled back to face him, but she wasn’t exactly graceful on her feet at the moment, so she settled for calling over her shoulder. “Back off.”

  The cab was waiting at the curb and she slid into the backseat as quickly as she could manage in case Kevin got it into his head to come after her. He didn’t though and, as the taxi accelerated away from Jasper’s, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

  She’d have to apologize to him later and he’d be all understanding and they’d start the cycle again. Friends. Then he’d start pushing a little. Then a little more, until she had to back him off. Then she’d feel bad and try to make him understand. He’d claim to and then off they’d go again.

  It was chafing on her nerves. The baby was chafing on her nerves…literally. She just wanted to feel normal again. When she wasn’t hugely pregnant anymore, Kevin would stop hovering and they could stop bickering. Maybe they could start exploring what kind of relationship they really had, or if they had one at all.

  Assuming they didn’t strangle each other before then.

  The squeal of brakes made her open her eyes just as the cab seemed to explode in a shower of glass and screeching metal. She barely had time to wrap her arms around her stomach before the lights went out.

  ***

  Kevin worked behind the bar. Serving, pouring, wiping. Fuming. Glaring.

  He knew from having four nephews and a niece that very pregnant women could be irrational. Even downright unpleasant at times. And with only twenty more days until her official due date, Beth was very pregnant.

  Maybe he could still tie his own shoes and find a comfortable position to sleep in, but he wasn’t exactly tip-toeing through the worry-free tulips, either. And he was sick of getting kicked in the balls every time he tried to make things easier for her.

  He was sure she was right. Very pregnant women probably went shopping alone all the time. They probably even took cabs. But the big difference between all those other very pregnant women and Beth was that they weren’t Kevin’s.

  But, according to her, she wasn’t Kevin’s, either, so what the hell did he know?

  The phone on the wall rang and, since nobody else made a move to answer it, he clapped a hand over one ear so he could hear. “Jasper’s Bar and Grille.”

  “Hey, Kevin. It’s Officer Jones.”

  He turned toward the calendar on the wall, trying to guess which game the cop wanted tickets for now. “Jonesy! What’s up?”

  “There’s been an accident.”

  Beth. And just like that Kevin forgot how to breathe. His knees wobbled and he slapped his free hand down on the bar just to give him something solid—something not spinning—to hold on to.

  “A bus ran a red light and hit the cab Beth was in.”

  She got hit by a goddamned bus? Kevin opened his mouth three times before hoarse words emerged. “How bad?”

  Please don’t tell me, “I’m sorry, but she didn’t make it.”

  “Don’t know. She’s on her way to the hospital and I just turned onto your street. I’ll be out front in thirty seconds.”

  He hung up, yelled to Paulie and stepped out onto the sidewalk just as Jonesy pulled up in his cruiser, lights flashing and siren blaring. He’d barely gotten his feet in and the door closed before the cop banged a U-turn and sped toward the hospital.

  “Have you heard anything?”

  Jonesy shook his head. “I was late to the scene. Supposed to help with traffic control, but I heard Beth’s name and offered to get you to the hospital.”

  “The cab…you said it was hit by a bus?”

  “It wasn’t going fast, so it’s probably not as bad as you think, but it hit her side of the car.”

  Kevin couldn’t respond to that because his stomach seemed to be clawing its way up his throat. Her side of the car. Beth had to be okay. And their baby, too.

  He doubled over, his arms wrapped around his stomach. Would the baby be okay? Beth was far enough along so even if she went into labor, the baby would survive. He was almost sure of it.

  But not so sure he could suck in a full breath.

  He was opening the door as Jonesy slid the cruiser to a stop at the emergency room entrance. “Thanks.”

  “Good luck, man.”

  He sprinted through the double doors and straight to the admitting desk, barely refraining from slapping his hand on the glass when the nurse took a few seconds to slide the window open. “Beth Hansen. She was in a car accident and—”

  She held up a hand to cut him off. “Are you family?”

  “Umm…” Kind of?

  “I’m sorry, sir. You’ll need to wait in the waiting room.”

  She started to close the window. “Wait! She’s pregnant. I’m the father. I’m the baby’s family.”

  Her expression softened and she took her hand off the glass. “You can’t go in right now, but I do know the baby’s heartbeat was strong.”

  “And Beth’s?” Because the baby—he loved the baby—but right now it was just a bundle of dreams and possibilities that kicked his hand when he touched Beth’s stomach. But Beth—Beth was real and right now and…he loved her.

  God, he loved her.

  “They’re working on her now, sir. Is there anybody else who should be contacted? Her family?”

  His throat contracted and he shook his head until he could speak again. “Her parents live in Florida. I’ll call them. She doesn’t have anybody here, though. Just me. She had to fill out some preregistration forms for having the baby and I’m listed as her contact. All she has is me and I promised her she wasn’t alone anymore so if you’d just let me go back there and—”

  “The doctors are with her right now. I promise somebody will come talk to you as soon as there’s news.”

  It felt like hours that he sat in the hard chair, his elbows propped on his knees so his hands could hold his head up. He stared blindly at the ugly tile floor until he felt a hand on his back
. He jerked upright, but it was only Terry.

  He was still hugging her when Mike and Lisa walked in, thankfully sans children. No doubt the rest of the family would descend upon him shortly because the Kowalskis didn’t go through anything alone. Thank God.

  “Do you know anything?” Lisa asked, rubbing her hand up and down his arm.

  “No. The nurse said the baby’s heartbeat was strong, but that they’re working on Beth. I don’t know what that means.”

  Joe and Keri showed up five minutes later with his parents in tow, so he had to do the hug and lack-of-news routine all over again. Then he sat and resumed staring at the tile.

  Ma sat next to him and squeezed his knee. “I called Shelly and Artie. They’re on their way to the airport, but there’s a storm going on and…well, they’ll be here as soon as they can. And I’ve been praying for her since Paulie called.”

  “Thank you, Ma.”

  “Figured I should since we all know you’re not very good at it.”

  No, but he was doing his fair share of bargaining with whatever higher power might be listening. He left the form of address open, though, because now wasn’t the time to risk alienating anybody up there who could help.

  An old-fashioned clock hung on the waiting room wall and he listened to the tick tick tick of the second hand until he thought he’d go mad. His family wasn’t helping. He knew they meant well, but when a boisterous group like the Kowalskis were so silent a person could hear a clock tick…it scared him.

  Too many ticks of the clock later, a doctor entered the waiting room. Tall and graying around the temples, he exuded an air of confidence, but it was the fairly grim set of his mouth that Kevin focused on. He stood, barely aware of his family standing with him, his mom’s arm hooked around his waist.

  “I’m sorry,” the doctor said and Kevin’s knees buckled. He would have hit the floor if Joe hadn’t pushed him backward into his chair. “But the nurse didn’t get your name.”

  The breath whooshed out of him and all he could do was stare up at the guy.

  Joe cleared his throat. “When a family’s waiting to hear about a loved one, maybe you shouldn’t open with ‘I’m sorry.’”

  The doctor looked startled. “Of course. My apologies.”

  “My name is Kevin. Kevin Kowalski. How’s Beth?”

  “Stable. No serious injuries, thankfully. Bumps, bruises, some lacerations from the glass.”

  He crumpled into his mom’s embrace, unshed tears of relief blurring his vision. “And the baby?”

  “Vital signs are stable. As sometimes happens, the trauma kick-started the labor process, though, and since the baby’s full term, we’re going to let it progress naturally. Once the baby’s delivered we can give Beth some pain meds. Are you the father? Her labor partner?”

  Holy shit. “What?”

  “Yes, he is,” Mary said.

  “You need to come with me, then. You’re about to become a daddy.”

  The world swam for a few seconds and then went dark.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Kevin came to on the waiting room floor with his head in his mother’s lap. She shouldn’t have been sitting on the cold, dirty tile floor like that, so he struggled to push himself up.

  Mike grabbed his arm to help. “Take your time, Scarlett.”

  “Screw you, Mikey.”

  “Hey, it’s not every day I get to see one of my brothers swoon.”

  “Swooning implies some kind of feminine grace,” Joe said. “That was more like watching a cement truck blow a hairpin turn and fly off the side of a mountain.”

  “Assholes.”

  “Boys,” Mary snapped. “Enough.”

  The doctor cleared his throat. “This isn’t uncommon for new fathers, especially considering the circumstances. We’ll get you some orange juice and you’ll be good as new.”

  He felt about as good as a newborn foal, trying to stand on wobbly legs. “I’m good. I just want to see Beth.”

  “You just sit here,” the doctor said. “We’ll get her moved upstairs and in a few minutes the nurse will bring you up.”

  “I’m having a baby.” Kevin sat down and leaned his head back against the wall. “Holy shit.”

  “Okay,” Mary said in her mom voice. “You’re all going to go to Beth’s. Kevin, does she have a bag packed?”

  “I…don’t know. The spare keys are kept in the safe in my office. Paulie’ll give you the one to Beth’s apartment.”

  “Theresa, Lisa and Keri, you look for a bag and if you don’t find one, pack one up. Michael and Joseph, you’ll bring the bag and Kevin’s Jeep back here while the girls make sure the apartment’s ready for a new mother to come home to. Your father and I will stay here.”

  “It could be a while, Ma.”

  “I do know something about childbirth, dear. But if you need a break or you…go crashing through the guardrail again, I want to be here so Beth isn’t alone.” Kevin squeezed his mother’s hand, willing to ignore the shot at his manhood because she cared that Beth had family with her. “After the baby’s born I’ll make some casseroles to divide up and freeze. But for now, that’s all we can do. I’ll call you others if there’s any news.”

  Everybody but his parents filed out of the waiting room just as a nurse appeared with a cup of orange juice and a couple of cookies. He consumed them under his mother’s watchful eye and then the nurse brought them upstairs. After much hugging and a few maternal tears, he left his parents in the waiting room and—finally—got to see Beth.

  She looked small and pale and scared in the middle of the bed, with scratches and some bruises on her face and arms. But she was awake and okay and she even smiled when she saw him in the doorway.

  “Kevin. You’re here.”

  “Of course I’m here.” He dragged a chair close to the bed so he could sit and hold her hand. “I’ve been here. Jonesy came and got me in the cruiser and my whole family showed up and I passed out so I had to have orange juice and cookies before I could come up. But I’m here now.”

  “A ride in a police car and a snack. Sounds like a fun field trip.”

  He laughed, but only for a second because she sucked in a breath as her grip on his tightened so much he thought he felt his bones grinding. “Breathe, honey. It’ll only last a few seconds.”

  The longest few seconds of his life, but he knew it was only going to get worse. So very much worse.

  When the contraction ended, she had tears in her eyes. “I didn’t even get the sheets on the baby’s crib yet. I didn’t want them to get dusty.”

  “You don’t need to worry about that right now.”

  She gave him a weak smile. “Don’t tell me. Your entire family left here and went to my apartment.”

  “My parents stayed here, but otherwise…yeah. Ma deployed the troops. But nobody’s trying to bulldoze you, it’s just—”

  “Kevin, stop. It’s okay. I get it. When I go home everything’s going to be ready for the baby and the place will be spotless and, knowing your mother, my fridge will be full and my laundry clean. Not for any other reason but that they care about me and that’s what your family does.”

  “My family loves you.” And he was about to say it—that it wasn’t just his family who loved her—but another contraction hit her hard and the nurses had to check her and then there was another contraction and the moment was gone. He could tell her later, maybe when she wasn’t screaming in agony. For now all he could do was hold her hand, help her breathe and wait.

  At some point during the ordeal his mother slipped into the room. She smiled at him while brushing the hair back from Beth’s sweaty face. “The storm’s easing up in Florida and your parents hope to board soon. They want me to tell you they love you.”

  “Part of me hopes they get here in time,” Beth said. “But another part really doesn’t want this to take that long.”

  Mary laughed and wiped Beth’s forehead with a cool cloth. “Why don’t you take a break, Kevin? Go get a coffee or
something?”

  Before he could tell her he wasn’t going anywhere, Beth dug her nails into his wrist. “No. Please don’t go. I need you here.”

  “I’m not leaving.” He shifted his arm to gently break her death grip and hold her hand instead. It felt good—her needing him—even if it was under extreme circumstances. “I’m okay, Ma.”

  She stayed a few minutes, then kissed them both on the forehead and headed back to the waiting room. He knew she’d call everybody and give them an update—no news yet.

  He mopped Beth’s forehead. Fed her ice chips. Held her hand. Coached her through breathing. Dried her tears. Promised her again and again it would all be over soon.

  Six of the longest and most grueling hours of his life later, the doctor held up a slimy, squalling, squirming red thing and said, “It’s a girl!”

  “A girl,” Beth whispered.

  They took the baby away for a few seconds and then they laid her on Beth’s chest. She looked a lot like a startled and unhappy tomato with arms and legs.

  Kevin thought she was gorgeous. “Lily.”

  Lily Ann Kowalski. Beth stroked their daughter’s almost bald head and then gave him the most achingly beautiful smile he’d ever seen.

  All the frustrations and fears of the last few months fell away and Kevin simply basked in the warmth and joy of the most perfect moment of his life.

  ***

  When Beth opened her eyes, it was to a headache, a hospital room and Kevin snoring in the visitor’s chair. She thought maybe she was dreaming, but a hazy memory of screeching metal and flying glass dragged her firmly into the present.

  The baby. Pressing her hand to her stomach, she found only the deflated and doughy lack of a child. Then the painkiller-induced sleep fell away as she remembered the hours of labor. Of Kevin holding her hand and stroking her hair.

  She must have made a sound because Kevin jerked awake. “Beth.”

  “Lily?”

  The smile that lit up his face told her everything important. “She’s beautiful.”

  “Where is she?”