Well Done

by Andrew Seiple

  “For how long?”

  “Maybe ah... half a minute?”

  “Not enough of a window,” Chase said. “Cagna? Cagna!” The dog-woman pounded downstairs, loading her pistol as she went.

  “Yeah?”

  “Whisper the Lord, get him to have one of his scouts check with Vitale, and tell us when the next shot is ready.”

  “On it,” Cagna nodded and muttered silently.

  Renny tugged on Chase’s skirt. “Madeline says she’s coming back! She can’t take another hit like that!”

  “Already? No, I need more time...”

  And then she paused.

  I have a skill for that, she knew.

  “Foresight.”

  And when it was up, “Foresight,” again.

  Sure, she usually used it to see the future. But the fact was that each use gave her ten uninterrupted seconds to think.

  And eight uses later, she had her answer. Not a great one but enough. “Thomasi, you’ve got a skill that targets her moxie? Those were what those yellow numbers were, right?”

  “Yes, but she’s got cool like you wouldn’t believe. Turning into a dragonwolf did something for her in that department.”

  “Doesn’t matter, get out of here to sturdier ruin and use it as soon as she returns. I’ll target her fortune. She’s got hit points out the wazoo, but she might be weaker elsewhere. I’ll try some things on her. Maybe I’ll get lucky.”

  “You’re built for that. And what about me?” Renny asked.

  “Illusions! Make multiple Thomasis and Chases.”

  “Okay...”

  “Three minutes,” Cagna said.

  “What?”

  “That’s when the shot will be ready.”

  “Threes again. Always threes. Okay, okay... Dijornos, I need you to stay here and wait. Understand? Wait! And when I yell now then you and Bastien do your thing, okay?”

  “All right... You sure you don’t want me—”

  “No time! Get in position!”

  Chase ran out of the building, almost colliding with Carmina. The catgirl shrieked and dropped bundles of sticks at her feet.

  Chase looked down, stared at the green, sickly-glowing bolts, then back at Cagna. “Great! Light her up when Dijornos and Bastien hold her!”

  Carmina screamed. “Get out of my way, it’s comin—”

  “Just go!” Chase howled. “Your master might be at the Basilica, go go go!”

  And then, not waiting to see if it worked, she ran out into the street. Around her, multiple Chases sprang into existence, holding silvery cards up to the charging black bulk bearing down on them.

  “Bad Fortune!”

  The Dracolupus resists your curse!

  “Ugh! Bad Fortune!”

  You inflict 6 points of Fortune damage on Dracolupus!

  Your Bad Fortune skill is now level 18!

  “No good!” Chase yelled as a claw came down on one of her duplicates. She ran for it, hearing Thomasi shout from the other side of the street.

  “Shout Down! My Tabby, you’ve put on weight!’

  Medium was out. No good attack skills in there, beyond the bad fortune curse. Oracle... unlikely. Even if she could overcome the dragon-thing’s resistance, she didn’t have any good conditions to transfer to her. And now wasn’t the time to be gambling with random afflictions...

  Gambling!

  She thought about slot machine.

  She discarded the idea. That backfire chance... and the price tag. Her fortune was down, and she only had one more white potion left. And she had two and a half minutes to stall the thing.

  Well.

  I do have all these silver, magical cards, now don’t I?

  “Razor Arrow, Suit Sorcery!” she yelled, throwing a random card at the black dragon-thing...

  ...and watching with amazement as a grinning fool’s head flashed into existence as it impacted the beast.

  Joker! You have inflicted 63 universal damage!

  Red, blue, green, yellow, and white numbers escaped from the Dracolupus’ head, and it immediately whirled to face her. It left off going after Thomasi, and Chase gasped as her outermost duplicate got trampled.

  Then she ran like never before, repeating the trick. Icy hearts, fiery diamonds, and elements of all kinds flared as she dumped her hand...

  ...to no avail, as a massive paw slammed down in front of her. She squeaked, escaping death by a hairs’ breadth.

  It was over her now, long neck flexing, maw opening as the creature twisted, head coming for her...

  “Suit Sorcery!” Chase said...

  ...and stared in surprise at the eight of rogues.

  Her cards had gotten mixed again.

  But even as the abomination’s maw stretched toward her, even as it gaped wide, Chase couldn’t rip her eyes away from the card.

  It was glowing in her hand, the figures moving, knives sorting themselves out as the eight rogues split their hard-earned gains up across the table...

  And that one skill, the one that Chase had thought useless came to her memory unbidden.

  “Draw Fortune, Suit Sorcery!” Chase said and drew a single card.

  Congratulations, by combining a Medium’s mysticism with a Gambler’s luck, you have unlocked the Hand of Fate job!

  Would you like to become a Hand of Fate at this time?

  The abomination’s breath was hot on her, its maw meters from her face.

  “Yes!” Chase screamed, staring at the card she’d drawn.

  And a dragon made of pure green energy burst out from the card, catching Tabita square in the jaw as it rose skyward, sending her tumbling away.

  Chase ran, reading as she went.

  You are now a level 1 Hand of Fate!

  LUCK+10

  You have learned the Draw Skill!

  She had no time to read the skill, no time to know what it did. She was too busy enjoying the surge of raw energy and getting the hell out of there.

  Behind her, a cry and she looked back to see her green dragon caught in Tabita’s jaws. She crunched down, and it dissipated into sparkling nothingness.

  Then more images sprouted around her, and Tabita howled in rage. Multiple halvens, extra green dragons, chanting and jeering Thomasis...

  And Cagna’s voice, cutting through the din. “It’s time!”

  “Over here!” Chase yelled. “Come get me you slimy wolf worm! Draw!”

  The six of wizards stared back at her from the card, and words appeared in front of her.

  Choose a target for this fortune!

  “Ah...” Tabita was bearing down on her, and she got this? This wasn’t so useful! “I choose my party!” She shrieked and ran again.

  Your cool and mental fortitude are buffed+10 from Chase’s Draw!

  “That’s great!” she screamed, as she ran back to the kill zone. “Just fabulous!” She howled again as Tabita’s mouth snapped shut mere feet behind her, destroying another image.

  “Now!” she howled the second she got within range of the shattered warehouse.

  And Dijornos leaped out, threw himself into Tabita’s path, and slammed into her wounded foreleg with all his strength.

  Caught unaware, the massive creature stumbled. Just for a few seconds.

  But it was long enough.

  Bastien leaped out from behind her, caught her tail, and cried out “Suplex!”

  And against all the odds, against everything Chase knew of natural law and physics, against every bit of despair she’d felt a few seconds ago, the dragon rose into the sky.

  Then she crashed into the ground so hard that dust flew, and for a few seconds Chase was blind.

  “He’s got her!” Renny cheered. “He’s bending her in... wow!”

  And when the dust cleared, Chase stared at Bastien, who was clinging to one of her rear legs, with his own legs wrapped around her tail, contorting her spine with sheer muscle power.

  But her neck was free, and Chase shrieked a warning as the muzzle came up to him, j
aws opening wide to take his head off...

  Clack!

  The crossbow bolt took her in the eye, and the abomination shrieked, rearing back—

  BOOM.

  And the spike took her full on in the chest, knocking her out of the hold, pinning her to the street.

  You are now a level 20 Oracle!

  CHA+3

  LUCK+3

  WIS+3

  You have learned the Trance skill!

  Your Trance skill is now level 1!

  You have learned the Unerring Strike skill!

  “Yes!” Dijornos cried. “Yes yes yes—” The rest of his speech devolved into cursing.

  Chase joined the rest of the group as they crept toward Tabita’s gasping form. Carefully, carefully... piano, piano, as the late, unlamented Don Coltello would have said.

  “Marcus,” the abomination gurgled, as her good eye fixed on them. “Greg.”

  Chase didn’t understand at first. Then she saw how Thomasi and Dijornos had gone still, and it became clear.

  “You’re still in there, huh Grace?” Dijornos said.

  “Yes. Greg, listen,” her voice was soft, far softer than it should be for something this size. “The boss is dying. I’m in control again.”

  “I suppose you want us to heal you up, let you go?” Thomasi said, and there was something in his tone...

  Pity.

  He felt pity for her, even after all she’d done. Chase’s stomach churned.

  “No. Listen. I know the way home. I know how to get back.” Tabita begged, gurgling a bit. Blood welled from her mouth.

  “How?” Dijornos barked. “Tell me!”

  “She’s lying,” Bastien warned.

  But Chase couldn’t tell.

  “Give me tokens,” Tabita begged. “Six tokens. I’ll tell you.”

  “No!” Renny burst out.

  “I can control it! I won’t rampage again... the boss is dead! It’ll be me in charge this time!”

  It was convincing.

  But Chase remembered how it had avoided attacking Thomasi, until his PVP immunity was broken.

  Instinct? Perhaps.

  Or perhaps...

  “I... I need to know how,” Dijornos said, looking around at them wildly. “I can’t pass this up. If there’s a chance, if there’s any chance—”

  And Chase understood, almost too late, the meaning of the card she’d drawn earlier. How curiosity was their true enemy here.

  She turned her back on the dragon.

  “Silent Activation, Silver Tongue.” Then she said more audible words. “I agree you can’t pass this up.”

  “What?” Renny burst out.

  “Hell naw!” Madeline said, sidling around, clearly measuring up Dijornos.

  “Thomasi, give her the tokens,” Chase said, winking at him.

  And thank Hoon, thank his clever, clever wit, thank his beautiful lying heart, he nodded. “Well. She has owned her mistakes.”

  Chase nodded and smiled as she saw him rub his face, covering his mouth for just a brief moment, before kneeling next to Tabita’s paw and putting golden tokens into her claws.

  And the abomination laughed.

  “Heh... ha ha ha...”

  “Oh, you idiot! That’s bad, raht? What you just did was very stupid, raht?” Madeline asked.

  “I’ll be back, you fools!” Tabita said, foul breath washing over them. “I’ll be back, and—”

  “Tabby, please,” Dijornos said, staring at her, his face crumpling. “Tell me the way back. Please.”

  She only laughed harder. “I have no clue, you little punk!”

  And with a roar of pain, Dijornos charged forward and put his battleaxe through her head.

  They stayed there for a while, as her laughter echoed and died through the ruined city, and up to the fat and rising moon.

  CHAPTER 30: EXIT STAGE LEFT

  The wagon was red and blue and gold, and it rattled as Dobbin pulled it over the cracked cobblestones.

  But it wasn’t quite loud enough to cover the noise of the hoofbeats coming up behind them.

  The halven in the front seat sighed and snapped the reins, pulling it off to the side of the road.

  But the horses didn’t pass. The man in the lead rode his stallion right up to her seat. He was a resplendent figure almost completely covered in golden armor save for his head which was adorned with a simple set of laurels.

  The halven’s eyes widened. “M’lord!”

  “Chase Berrymore.” He was frowning now. “I had hoped you would enjoy my hospitality before you left. I still have many questions about...”

  He blinked.

  The halven had bowed low, but her hair was red. The clothes were the same, but... no. This wasn’t the Oracle he was looking for.

  A few minutes of questioning later, and Lord Barriano headed to the back of his company, passing the royal escort and dismounting before he opened the flaps on the back of a covered wagon.

  The scent of ozone rolled out from within, and a tall pole with a ball on the end snapped and crackled with tiny lightning. A battered metal figure sat next to it, moving as little as possible. Conserving energy, now that he was away from the secret engines of Gnome that powered him within his city.

  His city, Viggo Barriano knew. He may be the current lord, but he was only a transient guest. And so he reported his findings to the true heart of the Empire. “The wagon was a ruse. Chase and the others sold it to a farmer heading northward.”

  “Then they have eluded us,” Vitale said.

  “Why?” Viggo shook his head. “It makes no sense.”

  “It makes all the sense,” Vitale said. “Do you know the story of the Mercenary lord and the last bridge?”

  “I must confess I do not.”

  “Once there was a Mercenary, the finest in the land. He saved a city from a mighty army but at great cost. He earned a fortune in pay and became the hero of the city. And shortly after, the rulers of the city invited him across the bridge that separated the rich quarter of town from the rest of it.

  “He crossed that bridge, and immediately the rulers took him and threw him in prison. And once his name had been forgotten, they executed him.”

  “I would not have treated them so poorly! Thomasi is my friend!”

  “Yes. Your friend who you were prepared to trade to the Inquisition in order to save the city. And that’s before we bring up the fact that the Oracle is a wanted criminal, the Mercenary was guilty of war crimes, and at least one of them most likely had something to do with the necromantic blasphemy involving Cymbal’s bones. No... No, it was wise of them to leave without a forwarding address.”

  The new Lord frowned. But only a fool discards advice because the giver is harsh, and after consideration, he nodded. “It is well. Zenobia is dead, but the Inquisition yet remains. I am uncertain that I could shield them.”

  “That is likely their estimation as well. And they had honor, of a sort. I believe they wished to spare you the pain and political cost of shielding them. They have freed us to rebuild and expand Gnome. And deal with her enemies as we see fit. The Inquisition burned my city and thus declared war on the Empire.” Vitale raised a metal hand, and steam hissed from his knuckles as he made a fist. “We should answer in kind.”

  Then he sighed. “Though I have little idea how to begin.”

  “Well,” Barriano said, as he drew forth the letter that the duped halven farmer had been instructed to give to him.

  The letter that bore the crest of the Doge of Arretzi.

  “I might have some ideas there...”

  *****

  The small group of pilgrims kept to themselves, quiet until the ship left port. Only then, in a cramped cabin surrounded by an illusionary wall that prevented sound from leaving, did they unwind, taking off their robes and letting a very bored wooden dragon out of the crate they’d been using to haul her around in.

  “Raht, haven’t done that in a whale. Brings back memories... Everything go smooth?”r />
  “As butter,” Greta said. “Speaking of that, do we have any more?”

  “Try to make it last,” Cagna said, passing over a small crock. “It’ll be a few days before we get to Venividi.”

  Greta took it, spreading it on the rich black bread...

  “Pickpocket,” Chase said and took a large bite as her sister squeaked in rage.

  “Good, good,” Madeline shook her head. “You wah probably worrying about nathing, ya know that? If the wahst came to it, I could have claimed diplomatic immunitah fah us all.”

  “Which would work if we weren’t up against a highly illegal conspiracy,” Cagna said, folding her arms. “I just hope they got my letter. If your friend’s as much of a straight arrow as you say, he might be able to make a difference here.”

  “He is,” Thomasi assured her. “Maybe a little too straight at times, but I think he’s got some properly sneaky people backing him up now.”

  “I’m sneaky!” Carmina said.

  “Yes, yes you are.” Chase petted her and tried not to wince as the catgirl flopped on the ground, purring and pushing her head against the smaller girl’s knees. Even if Carmina had been nothing but a pain before, it hurt to see her like this.

  Bastien read the mood and helped in his own, kind way. “Do you want to go up on deck? Maybe see if we can spot some fish?”

  “Oooh, fish!”

  “Robes first, remember, we’re playing a game...”

  “Right, right, right...”

  Once they were gone, Thomasi shook his head. “He’s going to find us again. I’d be surprised if he didn’t put a Bounty Hunter’s mark on her.”

  “He did. I saw it when I diagnosed her,” Chase replied, relinquishing the half-eaten slice of stolen bread back to her sister. “I could transfer it... but I’d rather show good faith. And so long as we’ve got you in our party, there’s not much he can do against us.”

  “Unless he like, sinks a boat we’re on while it’s in the middle of the ocean,” Dijornos shrugged. “Just saying.”

  “Well,” Chase said, tapping her card box. “I think I’ll have some warning if he wants to do that.”

  Thomasi smiled. “Fortune teller, strong man, dog-faced lady... ah, never mind that one. You’re a good chief of security, how’s that?”