A Long Way Home

by Wendy Vella

  “You said you liked my body best, but my face was something special.” Newman laughed as her mouth fell open. “You seriously didn’t expect me to not use that against you, Hope. If the roles had been reversed, you wouldn’t have hesitated.”

  “I hate you.” Her words had no sting.

  “Ouch,” Newman drawled.

  “I’m going, and I can lose you easily.”

  Newman grabbed her hand as she tried to stand, and held her still. “You can try.”

  “Why are you doing this, Newman?”

  “Because you may be awkward, prickly, belligerent, and those are your good qualities. However, you are also a friend from home who is in trouble. Howlers always help each other, Hope. You know the code.”

  She muttered something unflattering about the code and sat again.

  “Another coffee please,” he said, releasing her as the waiter appeared. “And another honey and lemon beverage for the child.”

  “I hate you.”

  “Sticks and stones.”

  Her eyes shot to the door behind him.

  “Go on, try it, see how far you get.”

  “You won’t make a scene.”

  Newman smiled, and it wasn’t pleasant, more a curling up of his lip to expose his teeth. Which, admittedly, were white and straight, and according to his mother, one of the best smiles in Lake Howling.

  “If I tell you, you can’t do anything about it. It’s done, nothing can change that.”

  “Okay. And, Hope… don’t lie to me, because I’ll know. Your eye twitches. It always has.”

  They may not have been tight as kids, but when you lived in a small town and spent enough time with someone, you got to know things about them. Hope Lawrence couldn’t lie worth shit.

  “I was part of this project studying the whooping crane.”

  “That’s actually a thing? I thought you were shitting me.”

  She glared at him. “Seriously? Become more aware, Newman. You need to know that we are losing many species because people like you don’t care, and you should!”

  “Right, I’ll try and do better, I promise,” he said, to appease her so she’d continue.

  “The whooping crane is the tallest North American bird. It lives to its midtwenties.”

  “Tough,” Newman said, but she ignored him.

  Her eyes suddenly came to life as she talked about her work. This was her passion, taking photos of wildlife, and had always been her thing.

  “Unregulated hunting and diminishing habitat had reduced the numbers dramatically to just sixteen birds in 1941. As of 2015, there were 603.”

  “Nice.”

  “It really is.” She nodded. Her hands were waving about, long fingers fanning as she talked. It was a different look from the usual one she wore, where she hid herself away from people. This one was open and natural, and damn if it didn’t make her look sexy.

  Shut it down, Newman.

  “They mate for life, Newman. Did you know that?”

  “Really, that’s pretty cool.”

  “It is, and if one dies, they find another mate and stay with that one.”

  “A bit like humans then.”

  “Exactly.”

  “And this Jay was on the Wildlife team looking into this bird on stilts?”

  And just like that Hope shut down. Her face closed, hands settled into her lap.

  “I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

  Newman searched his memory about Herald.

  “It says he’s pretty good at his job, so good they promoted him to your job.”

  She didn’t say anything, but it was there. Something flashed across her face before she could stop it. Anguish.

  “What happened?”

  “I’m not getting into this with you.”

  “And yet I want to hear all about it.”

  Hope ignored him and picked up her fork. She wasn’t sure when she’d eat again, seeing as that rat Jay had taken her savings. She’d leave Denver tonight, and get back on the road. Looking at her breakfast companion, she wondered when she’d see him again.

  His eye was angry, and every time she looked at it she felt guilty. He looked so steady sitting there consuming a large amount of food. Steady, handsome, and confident. Hope couldn’t remember a time she’d felt steady and confident. She knew she’d said those things last night, because she’d thought them many times. He was handsome, and yes, she’d often wanted to mess him up. The humiliation was that he now knew.

  “So, how long have you been on the run?”

  “I’m not running, just having a break as I told you.” She would just be polite now, and not let him get to her. After all, he’d rescued her from that bar, dressed and fed her.

  He swallowed another mouthful, and she watched his throat move. Newman had always represented everything she hadn’t had. He’d been raised by two loving, normal parents. Spoiled, and yet he seemed to inspire loyalty in his friends. Hope had a few friends, but none that really counted, or were for life.

  “Sounds like running to me.”

  “Whatever.” She was running, because as yet she had found no place to stop. She’d thought she loved Jay. Believed he was different and cared about conservation. Cared about her and the others on the project. Everything had been a lie.

  Newman carefully lowered his knife and fork, took a swallow of that mud he was drinking, then looked at her.

  “That must really hurt,” she felt compelled to say.

  “Like a bitch.”

  “I really am sorry, Newman, I never meant to get you hurt.”

  “I know, and I accept, so let’s leave that alone now, and discuss the mess that is your life.”

  “My life is not a mess,” Hope said softly. “I’m just transitioning.”

  “Nice. So where is it you think you’re heading on this transition?”

  “Eventually to London to see Ryan.” At least, she would when she could afford to.

  “Come back to Howling with me.”

  “No.” Her reply was instant, even though there had been a small jolt of longing at the thought of going home. Back to the familiar. A bed, and a roof over her head. But she couldn’t go back there now, she’d been gone too long, and more importantly, she’d have to explain to her mother that she was without a job.

  “Why not? If you’re at a loose end, it’s the perfect time, surely?”

  Hope shook her head. “Even if I wanted to, I don’t want to.”

  His smile was gentle, and she didn’t want that. She’d rather he was taking jabs at her, because gentle made her feel like crying, and Hope had long ago given up tears. They were just a waste of time, and never achieved anything.

  “That made no sense.”

  “My mother is there, and she takes inquisition to a whole new level.”

  “Sure, and others who you know and like. Hell, you could live in Macy’s cabin if you wanted to. It’s empty, and she won’t charge you until you’re on your feet. I’m sure with your skills behind the lens, you could get freelance work. Plenty of tourists come to Howling, you can take pictures of them.”

  She’d left her home as fast as she could when she was old enough, and had been searching for a place to land ever since. Funny how leaving was all Hope had ever wanted, and then after a while, home was somewhere that had constantly been in her thoughts.

  “No.” Hope shook her head. “I can’t go back now. Besides, I’m on my feet, and I told you, just transitioning.”

  He studied her through that lovely blue eye. He really is far too handsome, Hope thought. She exhaled as his cell phone rang.

  “Tex.”

  He listened as his friend talked. She knew who Tex was, because unlike her, Ryan had friends in Howling, and he kept in touch with a few of them. Tex was Ethan Gelderman, husband to a local, Annabelle.

  “That’s actually great timing, bud. All right if I bring someone with me? Yeah, yeah, I get it, first round’s on me, and then the second an
d third. What? How come you don’t want my firstborn?”

  He cut the call and smiled at Hope.

  “Good news, I can get you back home without having to pay a cent.”

  “I don’t want to go back.”

  “You’re at a loose end. Why not?”

  “No.” She would not allow herself to even contemplate it. Not until she had a job and money. Not until she had her respect back.

  He smiled, and Hope refused to acknowledge how cute he looked. She did not like this man, even if he’d rescued her from her own stupidity, and bought her clothes, washed her after she’d puked on him, and then paid for breakfast. The man was a damn saint.

  “That call was from a friend. His uncle’s plane is here, picking up some stuff. He’s then getting it delivered to Brook. He knew I was here, and offered me a ride if I was ready to go home. He said you could tag along.”

  “What? No. Who has friends with private planes? That’s just weird.”

  “Not to him and his family. Those Texans of his have money.”

  “No, I don’t want to go to Howling, Newman, and you’re not ignoring me on this and doing it anyway….” Her words fell away as he read a text that had just arrived on his phone.

  “Newman, I’m not going home.”

  “You got somewhere else to be? Because it sure doesn’t look like it, and you don’t have money, which has to suck. So why not come home?”

  “I don’t want to.” Hope’s heart was thudding hard. “And you have no idea if I’ve got money or not.”

  “Do you?”

  “What?”

  “Have money?”

  She didn’t actually, because most often she gave it away to good causes, and the rest Jay had stolen.

  “That’s none of your business.”

  “You didn’t eat all the hotcakes.”

  “I don’t eat all that much, and that’s got nothing to do with anything. I’m not coming back, so don’t think you can steamroller me into this.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m an adult who has been making her own decisions, however badly , for years, and I don’t want to go back home.”

  “No,” he said. “Why don’t you eat all that much?”

  “I don’t have the appetite of a small pachyderm.”

  “Elephant, Hope. It’s what we uneducated people call it,” he drawled.

  He got to his feet, which she guessed signaled that she should too.

  “Come on, we need to get your stuff. When Tex calls with a time, we have to be ready to leave.”

  “What? No, I told you I’m not doing that.”

  Ignoring her, he signaled the waiter.

  “I said I’d pay.”

  “With what? That meal will cost more than the twenty dollars you have.”

  “I’ll pay you back then,” Hope said.

  Ignoring her, he took her backpack and her hand, and then started walking.

  “Stop dragging me about the place.”

  “Then keep up and I won’t have to.”

  “Newman, I can look after myself.”

  “Sure you can, that’s why I found you pursuing a new career in a seedy bar.”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  “ Where are you staying?”

  “Somewhere.”

  He led her to the elevator. His phone rang as he hit the up button.

  “Tex.”

  “All organized, bud. Just head to the airstrip.” Newman listened to his friend.

  “Sweet, see you in Brook then,” he added.

  Looking at the corner of the elevator he’d backed Hope into, he felt it again, the pleasant zing of lust.

  Interesting.

  “So I’ll pack, then we’ll go to yours and pack you up, then head to the airstrip. They will drop us at Brook.”

  “That’s hardly a bus ride, Newman.”

  “Sure, but they’re dropping stuff to Tex in Brook, so not a detour after all.”

  “Why is it you’re not listening to me? How hard is it for you to understand that I don’t want or need your help? Seriously!”

  “No, I got that actually. But here’s the thing, Hope.” Newman turned her and gripped her shoulders. “Something’s off with you at the moment. I’m not sure what, but my take is creepy Jay has done you over good. So come back to Howling and regroup.”

  She blew out a breath in frustration and it smelled of lemon and honey, a surprisingly erotic combination. Who knew?

  “I’ve got this,” she said with very little strength in her words. “I’ve been handling my problems for years, I don’t need anyone’s help.”

  He found a small mole, just above her left eyebrow. It was barely noticeable unless someone was standing as close as Newman was. He wondered if anyone else had ever noticed it, besides her family.

  “I’m not going back, Newman, and you can’t make me.”

  He planted a kiss on her lips because he couldn’t not.

  “That took me back to grade school.”

  “Don’t kiss me again,” she snarled.

  Newman smiled. Once in his room, she watched as he packed.

  “You sure you don’t want to press that stuff before you put it in your Hermes travelling case? Maybe you should do up all the buttons on those shirts, it would help keep them all the same shape and size.”

  “I like to be neat, so shoot me.”

  She laughed. The first real one he’d heard.

  “You’re neater than my grandmother used to be, and that’s saying something.”

  “When did she die?”

  “When I was six.”

  Her words were flat and cold, telling him it was a painful subject. So her father had left and her grandmother died in the same year. Couldn’t have been an easy time for anyone in the Lawrence household.

  “Why am I standing here watching you?” Hope turned for the door. “I’m done with this, Newman. Seriously, I can’t believe I’ve let you do what you have so far. Dress me, and then feed me. That’s not like me. Maybe I hit my head last night.”

  “You step another foot in that direction, and I’ll take my favorite Louis Vuitton belt and tie you down with it.”

  She made a huffing sound but didn’t move. Newman finished his packing, then pulled up the bedcovers.

  “Why are you doing that when they’ll change it anyway?”

  He shrugged. “It’s nice for the staff to see it neat.”

  “I can’t believe you do stuff like that.”

  “Not all of us live like a sloth.”

  “I just don’t live like a soft pretty boy.”

  “I bet those homespun sheets pill real bad.”

  “Asshole.”

  “Freak.”

  He zipped up his bag, then ushered her out the door. She had to follow, because he’d wrestled her backpack out of her hands again.

  He paid his bill at reception, and minutes later they were out on the street. His cell phone rang. It was those idiots he’d been trying to help all week.

  “No, I’m leaving town today,” Newman said after he’d listened. “If and when you want to implement what I have suggested, then call me. If not, then I wish you luck, but your company will go under by the end of the year.”

  Hope watched Newman pocket his phone after the conversation. He hadn’t raised his voice, but she’d heard the anger in each word. His body was calm, but she looked into his good eye and saw it had darkened.

  “Who was that?”

  “A client with shit for brains.”

  He flagged down a cab.

  “Address?”

  She gave it to him, then slumped into the seat and watched the scenery pass by.

  He’d kissed her…. twice. And what a kiss. Hope hadn’t had many partners. Her problem was she didn’t trust easily, but maybe if she had, she’d have reacted the same as she did with Newman.

  “Tell me you are not staying here?”

  The place had a flashing neon sign stating rooms for rent. The outside had chipped and
peeling paint, a cracked window, and trash scattered along the front of the building.

  She didn’t answer his question, instead handing over her twenty-dollar note for the cab before Newman could, and getting out. She walked into reception, past the young girl talking on the phone, and up the stairs with him on her heels, like a dark, avenging angel, all angsty on her behalf. The hell of it was, Hope enjoyed the feeling of him worrying about her. It had been a long time since someone other than her family had done so. She’d get over it, she always did. But maybe the novelty was why she had let him care for her and buy her things. She’d rebel soon, she was sure.

  Pulling her keys out of her backpack, she opened her door and entered. She contemplated briefly shutting him outside, but knew he’d just bust the lock if he wanted in. Newman may appear easygoing to most people, but Hope had seen the other side to him on occasion. He could be a mean son of a bitch when required.

  “Christ, this is like something out of a seedy movie. Any minute now we’re going to be busted for possession, or beaten up and robbed.”

  “Don’t be dramatic, and just because it doesn’t hold up to your expectations, doesn’t mean it’s not okay. You’re such a snob.”

  “So not.”

  She ignored him as he prowled around the small space, taking up all the oxygen. Damn, the man smelled good.

  “So you can go now, Newman. I’m paid up for two more nights, and then I’ll move on.”

  He returned from inspecting the bathroom, and the look on his face told her he was spoiling for a fight. She looked around and saw the cracked mirror, worn carpet, and cheap furniture. Perhaps it wasn’t what he was used to, but it had been all Hope could afford.

  “No.”

  “You don’t have rights to me, Newman. I do what I want, when I want.”

  He stalked closer, so close that she had to dig her toes into her boots to stop from retreating. Hope didn’t back away from people. If her mother had taught her anything in this life, it was that. Face people, running makes you weak.

  “You either pack and come with me, or I pack for you and throw you over my shoulder. So don’t say I don’t give you choices.”

  “Fuck you.”

  “Sure, but there is no way I’m doing it on that bed.”

  She was not aroused by that, Hope told herself. No way was she attracted to this man. Now or ever!